Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Looks Can Be Deceiving


She looks cute enough but, I swear to you, she single handedly puts the terror in terrible twos.

She's the kid who you see standing up in the cart screaming "No" at the top of her lungs while her mother desperately tries to quiet her in whatever method necessary. (Yes I'm that mom who seems to not understand how to set limits.... oh I understand... I also know when to pick my battles) I recently even overheard Kid telling Baby "don't worry as soon as we get in the store Mommy will get you a cook cook."

Yes she's the kid who (for no apparent reason) throws things... from the cart... from the table at a restaurant (oh who am I kidding the only place I am even willing to take her anymore is the playplace at Mc Donalds and I don't know if that consitutes a restaurant... but she did throw both her toy, Kid's toy, and her food on the floor by a neighboring table last time). And not just throw things cause she's mad or frustrated... SHE DOES IT FOR NO REASON... she's just into it. Sadly the other patrons don't seem to enjoy it as much as she does. And I love having to get up from my seat every 25 seconds to clean up her mess. I absolutely love it.

We stopped going out to eat with her even before our strict budget since the last time we went to a remotely nice restaurant she had me in tears by the time we were half way through. Mostly from the stress of trying to not ruin everyone else's meal in the restaurant. I spent the whole time trying to entertain her so she wasn't *loud*, trying to eat food with one hand... that had long since gone cold, it just wasn't worth paying for food under those circumstances.

I can't take her grocery shopping anymore because trying to get in and out under her grace period of 12 minutes is like being put in a pressure cooker. It's just too much stress. (How bad can it be? Um well I think I told you about the time she got herself caught under the cart right?... that's not counting the 1000 times she takes off her shoes and throws them hither and yon, grabs aka knocks jars off shelves, bites into food, yells ... the freaking works) I now shop on weekends without her. I try not to go to Target much anyway but when I do I have to take her in her stroller with the 5 point harness. Cart belts are a freaking joke. In the 5 point harness she can easily get out of 2 of the points. You should see what she can reach on the shelves of a well stocked aisle when her shoulders aren't pinned down.... she's like Houdini.

I love that little maniac. I do. But she is so stereotypically two that somedays I feel wiped out before I even get started.

This is how I found her the other night. I thought Mr F had her. He thought she was with me. She pushed her chair across the kitchen and started helping herself to the chocolate cake. Fortunately her knife skills are very good.


I feel guilty about letting her watch TV. I really don't think little kids should. Really. But I have to turn it on in order to survive the day. It's the only thing that stops her for a couple of minutes. Ever since the day I got out of the shower and found her with this...
(with the cap OFF!!!), I started turning on her shows while I take a shower. It's not a joke. I cannot leave her on her own for even a couple of minutes.

It is an absolute miracle that she hasn't been to the ER for a broken bone, knife wound, or poisoning. A miracle.

The upside? Things are never dull. And I have an all new appreciation for how intelligent small children are. You have never met a more masterful problem solver. I swear. The government should hire her for something covert.

30 comments:

Mr Furious said...

We just need to "hobble" her.

Seriously, she's pure trouble. 24/7. It's mostly just out-of-control curiousity mixed with absolute fearlessness, but it truly is a wonder she hasn't ever really hurt herself.

julie said...

Murphy is still like this and he's 7. Hopefully you will have better luck with that.

Mrs Furious said...

Julie,
there goes the desire for 3... ;)

TUWABVB said...

Well, if you were going to argue her craziness, you shouldn't have posted a picture of her that is SOO damn cute my ovaries twitched! God, she is adorable! But I think her craziness now means that she'll be well-behaved in her teenage years. Case in point, I was calm as a cucumber at 2, but my mom tried to return me when I was 15. :)

Chris Howard said...

That's why she's so damn adorable. Evolution has probably weeded out the genes for less attractive bundles of trouble.

Mrs Furious said...

Chris,
LOL


TUWABVB,
oh let's hope that is true!

katieo said...

LOL! yesyesyes, I KNOW exactly what you mean.

I'm up in the 6 o'clock hour every morning with the crazy one. And not just up. playing, chasing, catching from counters...to say he's a handful is so laughable. No world, you don't get it, WATCH OUT -he's going to take over (with baby at his side no doubt ;)

Robin said...

Haha, that is exactly how Kent was. Oh, who am I kidding? He's still like that. That's why God makes kids cute. There is no way we would put up with them if they weren't.

Marilyn said...

Oh, that's so funny. She is quite a adorable! Believe me, you'll look back on this and laugh, though I know it must be hard now. Nothing wrong with a little Sesame Street to give you a break.

Supermom said...

I'd like to say it gets easier.

But I don't want to lie! LOL

I hear you and totally understand!

Michelle :)

Feener said...

her and my frass could rule the world. same exact stuff.....the chairs...i swear she moves them through 2 rooms to get something.

Me, Only Better said...

My third baby is like that. She is better now, too, but certainly she is the one that tested my mental well being and made me question whether I could handle being a stay at home mom. She is 7 now, and so much better, but still more of a handfull than my other kids ever were!

Me, Only Better said...

Ps- She is absolutely adorable, btw. She looks like a little pixie!

Haley said...

Maybe a little sangria would chill her out...? Well, either that or she'll be dancing on your counters and screaming for strings of beads.

Mrs Furious said...

Katieo,
Every time I catch her up to something I remember that pic you put up of Thomas getting the tylenol.


Robin,
I guess we should just be thankful we don't have two kids who are like this.


Supermom,
which one of yours is crazy?


Marilyn,
In the moment (at the store, etc) it is pure torture... but always in reflection I see the humor and I do enjoy her ZEST for life. I'll miss it when she grows up and moves out.


Feener,
Oy the chairs. She takes them everywhere. I don't know how she ever figured out that all she'd need was a chair but she did. Our floors are totally scratched up as a result!


Me, Only Better,
I'll be praying for 7 ;)


Haley,
Why do I fear she'd be one of those aggressive angry drunks?!

Julie said...

I can totally empathize Mrs. F. Lily June is 19 months and quite frankly she is a bitch. I DREAD going to the store with her because it is a wrestling match. We have stopped going out for dinner...we can sometimes manage breakfast or lunch, but dinner is asking for trouble. I don't remember my son being like this at all at this age, he is a handful in a whole other way...he just doesn't listen or follow instructions! It is a miracle that I don't drink myself into oblivion!

hicktowndiva said...

Yep, yep. My son was like that in stores when he was her age. He would freak the heck out in the cart, screaming, the whole 9 yards. We couldn't eat in a restaurant, ever, because he didn't like to eat and couldn't be bribed with food. His saving grace was that he was a good napper and good sleeper at night. Because when he was awake, he appeared to be slightly demon-possessed. He's pretty normal now at age 9, except for the non-stop talking. Non.Stop.Talking.

Heather said...

I was just like this, so my mom says. Thank GOD Lucia is so much like Pete (so far) -- although she's ready to crawl and insists on standing ALL THE TIME. She can stand up and hold onto things by herself. Dude. She's not even 5 mos. I wonder if we're in for it.

Amy said...

Sorry to say that I always found 3 to be way worse than 2!

We used to say that we were limiting our little guy's public appearances.

Mrs Furious said...

Heather,
Yeah that was like Baby... she was perfectly happy little baby. She walked at 8 months and started terrorizing us soon after.


Amy,
I'm hoping it doesn't get worse. Kid was great until her terrible TERRIBLE fours ;)

Christy said...

OMG she is too cute. My 2nd child, Mia (4) was and still IS like that. She was the child that somehow managed, at 18 months, to call 911, not once but twice. She also ate a tube of toothpaste, drank a bottle of simethacone drops when I had my 3rd, dumped numerous cans of formula all over, etc etc etc etc. But she has the most personality of the 3.

My uncle jokinlgy said when she was 2, "You can save up money for Chloe's college, but you need to save up bail money for Mia." :)

Dana said...

Strangely, my son never had the terrible two's. He had the HORRIBLE three's. It was just awful. I don't miss those days at all.


Hang in there, Mrs. F! (Hopefully hers will end at the two's.)

P.O.M. said...

Just wait until she's a preteen~! You better get an alarm system so the doors beep when they open.

Feener said...

http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/strollerderby/archive/2009/02/26/the-great-recession-cooking-show.aspx

you found it first !!!!!

Mrs Furious said...

Feener,
You know I'm a trendsetter! ;)

Feener said...

oh and did you hear about the biggest loser ???? liars ???
http://triathletebride.blogspot.com/2009/02/biggest-loser-is-right.html

Mrs Furious said...

Julie,
LOL... I've started having my nightly Sangria... by 5 o clock I just need to take the edge off ;)


Hicktowndiva,
"Non.Stop.Talking."
Ah... I was one of those. ;)


Christy,
" but you need to save up bail money for Mia."
Bwhahahahaha!!! That is hilarious!


Dana,
"Hopefully hers will end at the two's."
God willing! Somehow I doubt it.


P.O.M.,
Oh Jesus... good thinking!

Mrs Furious said...

Feener,
Interesting!

Amy said...

She is seriously SO cute but then you know that. I've heard of kids like that and it's birth control. Although I have no idea what my new baby holds in the future for me. perhaps I have a tazmania devil in the making too. although i just don't think i have the patience for it. natalie is completely the opposite. i can take her anywhere, she never gets into things she shouldn't and she babysits herself, literally. but then that's probably like Ruby. she seems to be a very good kid. maybe i'll have one of each too.

Mrs Furious said...

Amy,
Fortunately they don't come out this crazy and it comes on slowly so you can adjust ... kind of.
Ruby was perfect... really... we could eat at a 4 star restaurant and have the other patrons come and compliment us. If she ever did anything remotely dangerous and you so much as gasped she'd never do it again. That same kind of reaction just encourages Baby!
Congrats on your baby Amy!!

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