Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Looks Can Be Deceiving
She looks cute enough but, I swear to you, she single handedly puts the terror in terrible twos.
She's the kid who you see standing up in the cart screaming "No" at the top of her lungs while her mother desperately tries to quiet her in whatever method necessary. (Yes I'm that mom who seems to not understand how to set limits.... oh I understand... I also know when to pick my battles) I recently even overheard Kid telling Baby "don't worry as soon as we get in the store Mommy will get you a cook cook."
Yes she's the kid who (for no apparent reason) throws things... from the cart... from the table at a restaurant (oh who am I kidding the only place I am even willing to take her anymore is the playplace at Mc Donalds and I don't know if that consitutes a restaurant... but she did throw both her toy, Kid's toy, and her food on the floor by a neighboring table last time). And not just throw things cause she's mad or frustrated... SHE DOES IT FOR NO REASON... she's just into it. Sadly the other patrons don't seem to enjoy it as much as she does. And I love having to get up from my seat every 25 seconds to clean up her mess. I absolutely love it.
We stopped going out to eat with her even before our strict budget since the last time we went to a remotely nice restaurant she had me in tears by the time we were half way through. Mostly from the stress of trying to not ruin everyone else's meal in the restaurant. I spent the whole time trying to entertain her so she wasn't *loud*, trying to eat food with one hand... that had long since gone cold, it just wasn't worth paying for food under those circumstances.
I can't take her grocery shopping anymore because trying to get in and out under her grace period of 12 minutes is like being put in a pressure cooker. It's just too much stress. (How bad can it be? Um well I think I told you about the time she got herself caught under the cart right?... that's not counting the 1000 times she takes off her shoes and throws them hither and yon, grabs aka knocks jars off shelves, bites into food, yells ... the freaking works) I now shop on weekends without her. I try not to go to Target much anyway but when I do I have to take her in her stroller with the 5 point harness. Cart belts are a freaking joke. In the 5 point harness she can easily get out of 2 of the points. You should see what she can reach on the shelves of a well stocked aisle when her shoulders aren't pinned down.... she's like Houdini.
I love that little maniac. I do. But she is so stereotypically two that somedays I feel wiped out before I even get started.
This is how I found her the other night. I thought Mr F had her. He thought she was with me. She pushed her chair across the kitchen and started helping herself to the chocolate cake. Fortunately her knife skills are very good.
I feel guilty about letting her watch TV. I really don't think little kids should. Really. But I have to turn it on in order to survive the day. It's the only thing that stops her for a couple of minutes. Ever since the day I got out of the shower and found her with this...
(with the cap OFF!!!), I started turning on her shows while I take a shower. It's not a joke. I cannot leave her on her own for even a couple of minutes.
It is an absolute miracle that she hasn't been to the ER for a broken bone, knife wound, or poisoning. A miracle.
The upside? Things are never dull. And I have an all new appreciation for how intelligent small children are. You have never met a more masterful problem solver. I swear. The government should hire her for something covert.