The Upside?... It Was Only Two Hours... And Nobody Yelled At Me... Or Escorted Us Off The Plane

let's start at the beginning...

The flight was horrible.

Starting a couple of weeks before our trip Kid decided to inform Baby (unbeknownst to me) that sometimes planes fall from the sky and crash. So... hmm... NOT HELPFUL.

The night before our trip Baby announced that she would not be flying in a plane but that she would walk to her grandmother's house. That was kind of cute... but then... when we got to the airport and I struggled to get her snowsuit off for security, I realized she was serious. VERY SERIOUS. That's when she started screaming.

So you can imagine how fun that was for me.

Getting everyone's coats and shoes off and through security, along with Kaya, an animatronic baby (the TSA workers loved that I might add), a stroller, and a tantrumming toddler... oh and a large anxious 7 year old who is clinging to me, pulling on my shirt, and refusing to JUST WALK THROUGH THE METAL DETECTOR ALREADY!!!

Of course I did this all with a calm demeanor and a smile on my face (would you expect anything less?). You really don't want to act weird in anyway when trying to send an animatronic baby through the xray scanner.

Oh, did I fail to mention the terrorist attempt the day before at the Detroit airport? Or that we were flying to Detroit? Or that I didn't know anything about it until my grandmother called to tell me half an hour before we left for the airport? Sending my usual flying-with-the-kids-alone anxiety through the roof, and making me wish I had some kind of medication? Or that upon arriving at the airport that there were TVs with constant coverage running and that my 7 year old is old enough to understand what they are talking about... and that my 2 year old is already terrified of flying?

Yes, it was a perfect storm of horror.

I got Baby calmed down until we had to board the plane.

But remember that it is a small airport, and a small jet, and we have to go outside to get on. Which, if you haven't done it in awhile, is really loud. And if you are 2 years old, and terrified of planes,... just a wee bit disconcerting. That's when she started screaming and actively fighting me.

Those were good times. Even candy didn't work.

Remember that our seats aren't together?

And, as it turns out, because she's over 2, the flight attendants insisted that she couldn't sit in my lap during take-off.

By this point she was just whimpering "I nervous" and her fingernails we're digging into my flesh from across the aisle(my children are nothing if not articulate when it comes to their feelings... I wonder where they get that..)

I mean how do you explain to a two year old that this big plane is going to fly in the air and it is perfectly safe... when... most adults can't even come to terms with that?!

Once we were in the air for awhile she calmed down a bit. But anytime the plane hit turbulance, or dipped a wing she's start screaming "WE'RE FALLING!!!"

And don't we all feel like that? The only funny part is that I'm sure she was starting to freak out the other passengers... like... "my God what if that Baby is right?!... what if she's having premonitions?!"

It didn't help that once we were decending I told her "We're going down." Oops. I meant it in the *good* way.

When we finally landed she clapped and cheered "We're on the ground!". I think the entire plane was happy for her at that point.

Or themselves... but who's counting?