Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Upside?... It Was Only Two Hours... And Nobody Yelled At Me... Or Escorted Us Off The Plane

let's start at the beginning...

The flight was horrible.

Starting a couple of weeks before our trip Kid decided to inform Baby (unbeknownst to me) that sometimes planes fall from the sky and crash. So... hmm... NOT HELPFUL.

The night before our trip Baby announced that she would not be flying in a plane but that she would walk to her grandmother's house. That was kind of cute... but then... when we got to the airport and I struggled to get her snowsuit off for security, I realized she was serious. VERY SERIOUS. That's when she started screaming.

So you can imagine how fun that was for me.

Getting everyone's coats and shoes off and through security, along with Kaya, an animatronic baby (the TSA workers loved that I might add), a stroller, and a tantrumming toddler... oh and a large anxious 7 year old who is clinging to me, pulling on my shirt, and refusing to JUST WALK THROUGH THE METAL DETECTOR ALREADY!!!

Of course I did this all with a calm demeanor and a smile on my face (would you expect anything less?). You really don't want to act weird in anyway when trying to send an animatronic baby through the xray scanner.

Oh, did I fail to mention the terrorist attempt the day before at the Detroit airport? Or that we were flying to Detroit? Or that I didn't know anything about it until my grandmother called to tell me half an hour before we left for the airport? Sending my usual flying-with-the-kids-alone anxiety through the roof, and making me wish I had some kind of medication? Or that upon arriving at the airport that there were TVs with constant coverage running and that my 7 year old is old enough to understand what they are talking about... and that my 2 year old is already terrified of flying?

Yes, it was a perfect storm of horror.

I got Baby calmed down until we had to board the plane.

But remember that it is a small airport, and a small jet, and we have to go outside to get on. Which, if you haven't done it in awhile, is really loud. And if you are 2 years old, and terrified of planes,... just a wee bit disconcerting. That's when she started screaming and actively fighting me.

Those were good times. Even candy didn't work.

Remember that our seats aren't together?

And, as it turns out, because she's over 2, the flight attendants insisted that she couldn't sit in my lap during take-off.

By this point she was just whimpering "I nervous" and her fingernails we're digging into my flesh from across the aisle(my children are nothing if not articulate when it comes to their feelings... I wonder where they get that..)

I mean how do you explain to a two year old that this big plane is going to fly in the air and it is perfectly safe... when... most adults can't even come to terms with that?!

Once we were in the air for awhile she calmed down a bit. But anytime the plane hit turbulance, or dipped a wing she's start screaming "WE'RE FALLING!!!"

And don't we all feel like that? The only funny part is that I'm sure she was starting to freak out the other passengers... like... "my God what if that Baby is right?!... what if she's having premonitions?!"

It didn't help that once we were decending I told her "We're going down." Oops. I meant it in the *good* way.

When we finally landed she clapped and cheered "We're on the ground!". I think the entire plane was happy for her at that point.

Or themselves... but who's counting?

17 comments:

gooddog said...

You know how tragedy + time = comedy? Yeah, that one is going to be hilarious for you at some point because it already is for those of us at a distance! The animatronic baby puts it all over the top.

So glad you guys are there safe and hope you have an awesome visit. Happy New Year! May 2010 beat the hell out of 2009 for the Furious fam. :)

Mrs Furious said...

gooddog,
oh no worries on that front it was such a ridiculous combination of factors that it was already funny for me in the moment... well not the fingernails ripping into my arm... but most of it.
the one good point was that Delta still gives out free snacks!

And thanks for the well wishes. Can 2010 not be better?! Don't answer that ;)

happy new year to you too!

Andrea said...

I applaud you I dont know if I couldve done it. Well I hope ya'll have the best time and Happy New Year.

Mrs Furious said...

Andrea,
If I had known how it would go down I probably wouldn't have agreed to fly to MI. This is exactly why I didn't want to travel so far with her to go to my friend's wedding this summer. 2 hours was bad enough... 3 planes and 12 hours = suicide (or manslaughter).
Happy New Year to you too!

HC said...

Oh my goodness, you should get a big glittery "Rockstar" crown for getting through that ordeal!

Hope you guys have a wonderful time -- Happy New Year!

julie said...

Oh poor Baby with the 'I nervous.' That was so heartbreaking.

Wasn't it about a year ago that you broke your butt??

Yeah, this year has got to be better for the Furious family.

Here's to a a happy new year for us all!!!!

Mr Furious said...

Ugh. And the fact that I had to watch helplessly from beyond the ropes doesn't help.

Is there a particular reason why if I am willing to go through all of the same security measures I shouldn't be allowed to help my family beyond carrying the bags in from the car?

The futile exercise in security theater even more annoying at that point.

Mrs Furious said...

Haley,
if not a tiara they should at least give parents discounted alcohol on the flight... or maybe all the passengers within a two row radius.

Julie,
yep last year yesterday. I've been thinking about that a lot lately... it was so hideous that I actually have memory loss from the day of the accident until about 2 months later... crazy.


Mr F,
good point. I think you should be able to get the same kind of pass I could get to meet Marley at her gate. they just print a special ticket and you go through security.

workout mommy said...

wow! I hate to admit that I'm laughing right now but I swear it's because I feel so bad for you! I can't take my kids to Target because it stresses me out so bad, I can only IMAGINE the stress this must have caused you!

You are a brave woman mrs. F! Enjoy your trip--you deserve it! :)

Mrs Furious said...

workout mommy,
you know the worst part was worrying about annoying the other passengers. If I hadn't had that constant pressure it would have been better. I kept wanting to explain.. "it's not her ears, she's just terrified".. somehow I think people would have had more empathy for that. Fortunately we were in the very last row so we weren't disturbing every single passenger like we will be on the way home when we are in the 6th row!

Deb said...

I'm so, so sorry, but I laughed through this whole post, and the "WE'RE FALLING" thing sent me completely over the edge. My husband came in to see why I was giggling so much.

You get big points for this one, my dear. Two? I've traveled alone with one, and I remember what a cluster that was. I almost did a week long trip to Miami last year with the kids by myself, but Hubby stepped in at the last moment and took time off to go with us. Reading this makes me even more grateful.

I hope the trip home is easier. How does Benadryl affect them? I've never seriously considered it, but I think I might if I had to go through that.

Nutmeg said...

Ugh... once I get past today's traumatic medical procedure with Eli you've just described my next nightmare... flying alone with a three year old (at least I just have ONE kid)

When you get a chance after your return I need your thoughts about carseats on air planes. I'm taking Eli alone on a 5 hour flight to LA at the end of january. My two options are the CARES thing that attaches to the seat so he doesn't have a carseat but is fully safe, but has more space and can lay in my lap in midflight and won't kick the seat in front of him.. but then we have to check the carseat etc to have it when we get to LA.

SO CONFUSED!

Have a great visit with your family!!! Good luck on the return trip!

Gigs said...

Wow. That is incalculably horrific. Poor Baby, that is a bit heartbreaking. I'm guessing Kid may not be so eager to share this type of info with Baby in the future, though, so maybe that's the silver lining? Hope the flight back will be easier now that Baby knows she can fly safely.

BsOnlyToots said...

Awww poor baby!! Poor you too! I fly yearly with 3 kiddies, but we don't have snow, so its no where near what you had to deal with! MAJOR props to Mrs F!! Hope you have an awesome new year and a better trip home!

Mrs Furious said...

Deb,
the unfortunate truth around the Furious house is that travelling with Mr F isn't easier... ;)

benadryl does not knock Baby out (of course)... I am not above that... it just doesn't make her drowsy.

nutmeg,
Oh I hope everything goes well with Eli!
I have never travelled with carseats on the plane, I always check them. I have a large duffle bag that Baby's fits in and it is free to check carseats... bonus I shove extra stuff in that bag they never check that;)
When the kids were little and in my lap I had a special flight harness vest that clipped to my seatbelt. But once they need their own seat I just have them sit in it normally. If he loves his carseat it might be worth it, but you need to check the airline seat measurements and make sure it fits. For me travelling with the kids getting through security is enough of a pain in the ass without the carseat. I'd use the other option. And you might want to strongly consider bringing a portable dvd player or computer for watching movies. I didn't this time and I think that contributed to the horror show... usually they are just sucked into a movie and Baby hardly notices what's going on. That was a big mistake on my part! And LOTS of food. We were stuck on the tarmack in Rhode Island last summer for two hours!! Food is imperative.


Gigs,
I am hoping that is the case too!


BsOnlyToots,
3 kids by yourself is a lot, I commend you.

Kiki said...

I had to take a Xanax just to read this....I totally feel like Baby except I'm trapped in a 40 year old body and people don't tend to appreciate the dramatics as an adult!

Poor little girl, I've got you guys in my thoughts until your safe return home!

inkelywinkely said...

Yet another situation where I would have been more terrified than a kid. I could fall to my death in a plane, into the ocean where great whites rip me to shred, and while I am still alive with no limbs to stay above water, I drown.

Yeah. It *could* happen.

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