Friday, February 19, 2010

Bitch Fest Friday

Lay your bitchin' on me.

I'll start...

I just changed THE most disgusting poop diaper of all time.

It took me TWENTY wipes to get that booty clean.

Sometimes when I'm doing something like that I think...

"You cannot come up with enough financial compensation to make this worthwhile for me."

I mean... I am not the one who thought it was a good idea to serve this kid a pound of black beans yesterday... and I should not have to clean up the shit storm.

Did I mention that this is a little boy?

I'm still not totally used to changing boys.

Well the necessity of 20 wipes and the need to actually clean all his parts resulted in something that shall remain nameless.

But believe me when I tell you I have never been more traumatized.

Ever.

Ever.

I just wanted to clutch my face and scream "MY EYES!  MY EYES!"

But then I might have gotten Ecoli in them and died.

Girls might have more 'tude but they don't traumatize you when you change their diapers.

And there is something to be said for that.


21 comments:

lindalou said...

I know what you're talking about, sista....

Mrs Furious said...

I'm still rattled!

inkelywinkely said...

mmmhmm, it makes you feel like a molester, doesn't it? LOL

inkelywinkely said...

like...THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ENJOYABLE, CHILD!

Mrs Furious said...

inkelywinkely,
exactly. Because let's face it... it was not enjoyable for me.

P.O.M. said...

arghhhhhhhhhhhhh Changing boys is so scary. I got peed on last time I did. No longer will I offer to "help out" when it comes to that.

P.O.M. said...

OH - here's my bitch....
ONE MONTH until I have to fit my fat ass in a size 4 dress.

Nutmeg said...

oh... let me tell you about what the little ones do in the morning...

that is NOT just for grown men.

Mrs Furious said...

Nutmeg,
I don't know if I could handle that.

Mrs Furious said...

P.O.M.,
good luck! At least you have some tangible motivation... that's a doable, albeit intense, goal. I think you will rise up to meet it.

Oh and I meant to tell you on your blog that I too just bought pants 2 freaking sizes up. Must stop the madness. Too bad I just got our girl scout cookies dropped off!!

Tracy said...

Omg too funny and being the mom of three boys and 1 girl i totally hear ya

Elizabeth said...

Have horrible cold, lung tearing coughing. Working until 7 all week. (Except Tuesday which i spent in bed) Got yelled at for being sick. Working tomorrow.

Liz said...

Your plan sounds good, it's exactly what we were aiming to do this spring. Like you said, someone will fall in love with it- you did. It can be a waiting game to find the right buyer, but it will all be over sooner or later and you can look back and block it all out!

Mrs Furious said...

Tracy,
I'm glad people get it. Mr F read this and it went over his head. He thought I was just talking about a really poopy diaper. I corrected him and he shouted out "Oh Jesus!".


Elizabeth,
Ugh I'm sorry to hear it. You've been sick a lot this winter!


Liz,
I hope it works out. Just this afternoon I found out an acquaintance might be interested. They're going to come look before we list it. That would be a huge boon for us... of course not much goes that way for us so I'm being cautiously optimistic about it.
Good luck to you guys!

Loralei said...

This post was too funny for me to bitch!

Kiki said...

Eeeessshhhhh! I hear you on the boy thing, sometimes being married to one is shocking!!!!

I wanted to go back through your posts and see what I had encouraged you to do....feeling guilty because I remember being excited for you, urged you to take the risk.....who could have known it would have turned out like this?


I'm so sorry it didn't work out, I am excited that you are taking charge and making the changes you need to to get where you should be and find what makes you guys happy!!!

Mrs Furious said...

Kiki,
Do not feel guilty!!! This has been our favorite mistake. Really. We have learned a lot of important lessons and life skills. Mr F has enjoyed the work of his job and it was a good step for him. Kid really enjoyed her school the last two years. Even though it has not been without financial hardship... the truth is it woke us up to our priorities and taught me how to budget, etc. We're in a better position to make better financial decisions than we ever were before.... because we didn't really have to. I think in the long run we'll be better off financially because of how this effected us.

Kiki said...

I love that in the face of what could be a frustrating amount of work you are trying to make me feel better....you are truly amazing!!!

Love you guys....I know it will turn out great, no one deserves it more!

julie said...

Hey, I have not been around for a few days. I was at the in laws. I can't wait to hear the whole deal regarding the house going on the market. I love how you are just nonchalantly talking about getting the house ready to go on the market, but not tell us yet what the heck is going on! We patiently wait:)

Eww about seeing another child's happy stick. It's one thing when it is your own...not that I want to see that these days (or ever really) as my kids are not in diapers anymore and that would just be wrong on all levels. And black beans to add to it all. Yuck. I am going to go barf now.

Deb said...

LOL!! I cannot stand changing poop diapers anymore. I know you're not supposed to force kids to potty train, but I'm seriously leaning that direction with kid #2, because kid #1 has taken FOREVER to train. I'm weighing the decision to buy four years of diapers or a year of therapy, and I'm seriously thinking the therapy might be cheaper.

But I have to say I prefer boy poop. It doesn't matter which direction you wipe, you're not setting your kid up for a possible cath exam.

Deb said...

LOL!! I cannot stand changing poop diapers anymore. I know you're not supposed to force kids to potty train, but I'm seriously leaning that direction with kid #2, because kid #1 has taken FOREVER to train. I'm weighing the decision to buy four years of diapers or a year of therapy, and I'm seriously thinking the therapy might be cheaper.

But I have to say I prefer boy poop. It doesn't matter which direction you wipe, you're not setting your kid up for a possible cath exam.

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