I must check out for awhile.
I'm feeling overwhelmed.
I'm terrified of making another mistake.
Lots of major decisions are being made and there is a lot to do and process.
(I'm also feeling censored.)
Maybe I'll make some videos... but for now I just need to move my life forward.
I should also start cleaning off my desk.
We finally ordered a rug for our office (online... who the hell knows what it is actually going to look like?!)
And some clothes for myself that fit (so glad I finally did that).
I'm feeling like I've been letting a lot of things I can't control control me.
I've been so caught up in the things I can't do that I have stopped doing the things I can.
Which has only been making me feel guilty on top of everything else.
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34 comments:
f you privatize your blog lemme know... I would still like to be a reader. I will email you. Hope things are okay. ((hugs))
I read your blog everyday, but haven't ever commented before...guess I am a 'lurker'. I have been feeling for you with all the job decisions and debate. We were there over the Summer. I hope things turn around for you soon and you get to a place where you feel less stress. I have a daughter that is 11 and I often think kids are in such a hurry to grow up...we don't appreciate how much stress is involved with 'growing up'!
Thinking of you Mrs. F. :)
Take your time...we'll all be here when you return.
PS-If you do go private I'd love to be allowed to follow you. :)
Take your time..I hope all works out for you and your family...if you go private I would really love to be able to follow you as well.
inkelywinkely,
No worries. I'm keeping this public I just feel censored and when that happens my creative flow is disrupted and I feel like I have "nothing to say".
Kellie,
Thanks for commenting. This has been a very hard time... really splitting hairs between our choices. Having taken a gamble to come here and having it go so badly we are both very nervous about ANY choice. Staying here or going. I'm naturally a risk taker but it's the gravity of our decisions and the reality that we're choosing things that will effect our kids lives that makes it so *heavy*. I think we're moving toward a decision and then it'll just be acting it out (a whole other nightmare) but at least things will be settled. Then I'll finally be able to write about it all freely!
sending lots of hugs (and margaritas?) your way, mrs. f!
Thanks Staci & Daisy Girl. I'm keeping it open I just need to stop thinking so much and start doing things to make me feel better. Than I think I'll have something to write about. I have things I can't talk about and then there are things I could but the other stuff is so all consuming I feel stupid writing about anything else... like I'm being disingenuous.
Brina,
LOL lots of margaritas would definitely make this time in my life a lot funnier!
I am thinking of you, Mrs F.
It seems to me that even in these hard economic times in which people can't find jobs, Mr. F is still being offered jobs. He is apparently very good at what he does. I can't help thinking that if you decided to turn down the job in Michigan-you should know that he will be offered another job, and better pay, in due time.
Don't stress-this is not your only choice. I honestly believe that something better will come along.
I love reading your blog because, in so many ways, your life is like mione (although you are more in control of your weight:)).
Our choice was to move to a foreign country:).We also looked at Raleigh and Charlotte before we moved here, because there was no way I could leave my job and stay in the metro NY area.
We also have two girls. So if you have a second blog, please bring me along. I do know how you feel, though, which is why I am only posting book reviews on my blog right now...
I feel for you mrs F. It is always hard secision and no matter what you do, you end up second guessing yourself. I am a working mom and recently quit a 'good' job (8-4, great pay, good vacation) to take a job that has none of it but will keep me happy and challenged. I feel bad that maybe for my happiness, I sacrificed my time with my daughter but I always feel that job satisfaction makes me a better mom/wife and vice versa. And if that thought doesn't work...then I think that in perspective of life..this is not a big decision.
Anywyas long story short...you are not alone and if you sometimes need to vent or if you think you feel shortchanged...then most of us will understand and 100% support you
That was one looooong comment
I feel for you mrs F. It is always hard secision and no matter what you do, you end up second guessing yourself. I am a working mom and recently quit a 'good' job (8-4, great pay, good vacation) to take a job that has none of it but will keep me happy and challenged. I feel bad that maybe for my happiness, I sacrificed my time with my daughter but I always feel that job satisfaction makes me a better mom/wife and vice versa. And if that thought doesn't work...then I think that in perspective of life..this is not a big decision.
Anywyas long story short...you are not alone and if you sometimes need to vent or if you think you feel shortchanged...then most of us will understand and 100% support you
That was one looooong comment
Take care Mrs. F. I hate when life veers in that direction. Makes me all frazzled and it consumes me. I hope it will all work out soon.
Count me in as a reader, too!
It's easy to be "non-productive" in areas of your life when there are major issues being dealt with. Try not to be so hard on yourself. You need your strength (physically and mentally) to get through the tough times. Allow a little "laziness" in and make sure you have some sort of creative outlet. I imagine with 2 kids, finding the time isn't the easiest, but remember, unless you take care of YOU, you won't have the ability to take care of them. (Sort of like the lecture on airplanes with the oxygen masks...put yours on before assisting others.) Hang in there. This too shall pass.
Hang in there, I have every belief that this will work out for you guys!
I read everyday and post once in awhile but I can definitely understand how you are feeling. Hope things get a little less overwhelming soon. And yes if you go private please add me to the list that still want to be able to read your postings.
Hang in there, lady -- you guys are good parents and smart people, and while the decisions you're struggling with are difficult, you both have your hearts and minds in the right place. You'll make the best choices you can for your family. Trust your instincts and don't look back. We're all pulling for you!
I will be thinking of you. Take it easy...take deep breaths. Don't worry about us...we'll be here when you return, waiting to hear the latest. I'm sure that everything will work out well for you.
Hang in there...whatever the decision/dilemma/problem is, at least eventually it will be decided and behind you. Then once that is set you'll have nothing else to do but move forward. Limbo stinks (even if its good limbo and more so if its a difficult limbo!).
And I second the margharitas...lots of margharitas... :)
Thinking of you guys. I hope it all comes to an end soon... with lots of optimism and hope for the near future. :)
My thoughts are with you and take as much time as you need!
Making life changing decisions are never easy - which totally sucks!
I have faith that both you and Mr. F will make the right decisions for your family!
Hang in there....heck with Margaritas...go for the shots!!!
Thinking of you-sending positive thoughts, prayers, whatever you need, your way!
Oh, Mrs. F... I am so sorry. Hang in there and know I am thinking about you and your fam. Hugs.
Good luck sorting things out and finding your balance once again. Will be thinking of you!
I hope everything you are having to make decisions on works our for the better for your guys! You all certainly deserve it to! If not, pack up and move to sunny Florida! I hear Cinderella Castle is a fine place to make home! :P Hugs to you all!
"I've been so caught up in the things I can't do that I have "stopped doing the things I can."
I spent my entire December like that. Why do we DO that? *sigh*
(and hello HC...miss ya!)
I think of you guys as the ultimate survivors, and know you will end up where you need to be and it will be a good place. You are your own proof that if one thing doesn't work, you can always try another. I know it's harder when the decisions affect your kids, but you know you have beautiful, well-adjusted girls who are completely charming and resilient.
Maybe this will make you laugh... This morning my 11 year old says to me as he's kissing me goodbye for school, "Mom, you look beautiful. You have a very nice figure." Since we are hitting puberty around here, I'm not sure how to take this. "What does that mean?" I ask. "Well, you have very long legs, a skinny body, and a very long neck. And a cute little head sitting on top." Ah. So, to him, having a nice figure means looking like a giraffe. I can live with that! And I hope he is always charmed by a woman's cute little head.
You guys take care. I'll be thinking of you!
Gigs,
Ha! Yes, that made me laugh!
Mrs. F,
My first time commenting here, no longer a lurker! My sister told me about your blog about a year ago and I'm a huge fan. I follow religiously and I've really been feeling for you over these past few months. I've just gone through a major cross country move for my husband's new job. Vermont to Oregon. We were going through many of the same frustrations in our last place: the pay changing after we started, no bonus, pay cuts. The change in circumstances really built up a lot of resentment about our location and made us feel "stuck". Every time a new opportunity would come his way, it was almost as hard to turn it down and be okay with where we were- again- as it would have been to take the leap and start all over. It certainly doesn't get easier when you try to factor the kids into all of it. Sorry to ramble...
I'm not sure where this path is taking you at the moment, but know this for sure- you're not alone and whatever it is you're feeling is totally normal and all part of the "process". Thanks for putting yourself out here every day for the rest of us. Stay strong!
Oh Liz..
Thanks for the comment. You really can relate. Too bad you can't come over and talk me through it. That is exactly where we are at. Moving itself is so stressful and expensive that even though we want to/need to move there is a huge part of us that would do just about anything to avoid moving. It's a strange self-inflicted catch 22. Anything we do has a pretty big financial negative attached right now. Staying and slowly being bled dry or eating a non-corporate move out of pocket ... it's a gamble which is worse. Hopefully we'll be through this soon and then just dealing with what comes next.
Are you all happy to be in Oregon?
Don't you hate that money has to factor in?? I wish I had the secret formula for working these types of decisions out- so personal and complex. Sticking with your gut is the best way to go.
Oregon is cool, we're in the honeymoon phase of the move...reality hasn't hit yet that I'm starting over:) Best wishes to you!
Love you, and your blog, and your sweet family. I hate to see you so worried about this decision, and I hope only the best for all of you.
...all my love....I'm here.
All the organizing looks great, and that's one of the first things I tackle when I'm feeling like I need to refocus (which I need to do desperately, as I obsess about our on-again/off-again international move that may or may not happen in the next seven months--EEEK). Hang in there. I know you'll make the right choices for the family.
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