Showing posts with label weight loss dissatisfaction. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight loss dissatisfaction. Show all posts

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Mrs Furious Ponders Her Plummeting Self Esteem

Despite being at an all time low weight wise I'm just a wee bit depressed about my body...er... my stomach. I don't know what the deal is but I did not enjoy the dressing room experience. One bit. And I'm frustrated and discouraged and annoyed. This is why I shop at Target. I can load up a cart (while drinking a no whip Frappucino no less) and then I can take the clothes home and try them on in the damn dark if I want to. There are no florescent lights to stand under and in truth no full length mirrors. I can see my top half and then teeter on the toilet lid to see my bottom half. I don't ever have to see my bottom half, horrendous tummy included, if I don't want to. And that is how I like it. I know I am not even 9 months postpartum and that I weigh 12 pounds less then I did pre-pregnancy, which is no small feat and I am happy about that, but how fricking long is it going to take for the jelly belly to go away?! You moms out there know what I'm talkin' about. With Kid I hadn't even begun to try and get back to my pre-pregnancy weight 9 months postpartum so I really have nothing to compare this to. But right now I am thin, pretty damn thin, and yet my waist is still the same measurement as when I weighed 12 pounds more. Clothes are a nightmare since I don't feel that anything fits me well. And in order to fit my body they are tightish in the waist which just makes me feel fat. I mean seriously how much do I freaking have to lose to fit in a damn pair of pants?!? And I know some of you are like "Shut Up Mrs F I wish I weighed what you weigh.. when will it be enough for you all ready?" Well that is exactly what I would like to know. When will it be enough? When will I not look down and see a roly-poly belly, and I am not exaggerating, it is still doughy squishy and roll-y despite hovering in the 114s (and before you throw pitch forks at me I'm only 5'3). I've got my body fat down to 22.7%. What is it going to take? Maybe this is just a postpartum issue (I hope) but I am frustrated nonetheless. Maybe I need to read some of my old posts. But right now I'm tired and I'm just not feelin' it.
And the fact that this is what I am wearing isn't helping...

And those wets spots are baby snot if you are wondering!
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