It sure ain't the smell of freshly baked cookies!
I'm in the kitchen making some soup while the Baby is crawling around sucking on dangerous chokables. While peeling some carrots I notice a slight off-scent but can't tell where it is coming from so I carry on with my wifely duties. Then I find the baby sucking on the recycling (no sharp metal cans... no worries). She crawls over to me and I realize... with a fair amount of horror... that her entire pant leg is soaked with liquid poo. Now Baby F is a baby so she is wearing a lot of cloth between her butt and the outside world... and if poo is now outside of her clothes we have got a mega disaster on our hands. Oh did I ever mention that Canine Furious is like a poop hound? Yeah.. double disaster! So I go into lock down mode... nobody move!.... "Okay Kid get Canine in the basement and bring me the wipes!!! Now!!! NO the wipes! The Wipes! No Kid THE WIPES! NO I need the wipes.. in here.. faster..fast, fast, fast! "(yeah that's how 5 year olds play it) Okay 15 minutes later ... as I precariously balance the baby in such a way as to minimize contact with the deadly ooze I finally get the damn wipes. Now I begin mission poop removal. I should note that Baby's poop causes an immediate and permanent stain... and I am not just saying that to be cute.. I mean for real. So off come the poop covered socks, then the overalls... Sweet Jesus they are filled with poop!!! I approach mission poop removal like Baby is a bomb that might detonate at any second... it has been known to happen people! You need to be speedy but careful to contain all the damage in one location. And let me tell you nothing is harder than trying to remove a poop covered onesie without spreading the nastiness all over the baby's head.. or even worse yourself.
And that my friends is what we call a Pooptastrophy!