Friday, November 9, 2007

Mrs Furious is So Mad That She Is... Well... Furious!

Goddammit! I am so fucking pissed that if you are sensitive to a lot of swearing you might want to skip this post. Goddamn Mother Fucking Doctor! Arrggghh... I'm actually shaking from adrenaline I am so mad.

Here is the deal...
Today I took both girls into the pediatrician for their well visit check ups. The Furious Clan has chosen a particular "liberal" minded pediatric practice that is supportive of some of our family practices, co-sleeping and extended breastfeeding. Our first pediatrician, with Kid, was not supportive of these choices and often pushed us into making medical decisions we were not comfortable with. After a TERRIBLE vaccination reaction to her MMR shot at her 12 month check up we switched to our new doctors. Our new practice has two doctors. They both have good and bad points and I have a hard time deciding which one I want to see for what kind of appointments. Today I made the wrong mother fucking choice.

Being the highly educated mother that I am I have thoughtfully, and by thoughtfully I do mean "with serious fucking thought", chosen an alternate vaccination schedule for Baby. Let me make one thing perfectly clear... I am not asking you for your opinion on this, just like I wasn't asking my goddamn doctor for his... so I really don't care if you agree with this or not. When you have a kid with a neurological disorder... who just happened to have terrible vaccine reactions then you can get back to me with your opinion of mandated vaccines. I didn't say I am NOT vaccinating Baby... I said I am following an alternate schedule.

So our appointments are going fine. I know "Fucking Doctor" (as he will be known) is a strong vaccine proponent so I was some what hesitant as we approached the end of our appointments... but although he doesn't agree with me I didn't expect what was about to go down.

me "ummm... "Fucking Doctor" I'm just gonna give Baby the DTap and Hib today and give Kid the Tetanus Booster (Kid is actually all caught up)

FD "is there a reason you have chosen those"

me "yes I'm following an alternate schedule"

FD " where did you get your schedule"

me "I have done research"

FD "that's not what I asked.. where did you get it"

me (somewhat peeved at the weird pressure) "I'm following a schedule from one of the Sears doctors"

FD kind of smirks "that's fine...it is CRUEL... but that's fine"

me... starting to shake and tear up because I hate confrontation... " "Fucking Doctor" do NOT tell me it is CRUEL, beating your kids is CRUEL, abusing your children is CRUEL... following an alternate vaccine schedule is not CRUEL!! I know plenty of people who bring their kids here and follow alternate schedules and there are other doctors in this office who do not challenge that. I know you don't agree with me... but when you have a child with a neurological disorder, and you have an auto immune disease, not to mention your child had every conceivable negative reaction to all her vaccinations... following an alternate schedule is not CRUEL it is thoughtful parenting!"

FD "I don't need your money if you want a different doctor that is okay"

me "If you aren't going to follow my schedule then I won't vaccinate them at all today... this is already a compromise for me. There are MANY people and doctors who do NOT believe in following the mandated schedule I am an intelligent well informed mother. You do not have to agree with me but that does not make me CRUEL. "Fucking Doctor" that is disrespectful. Do NOT ever tell me that being an informed parent makes me CRUEL."

FD "okay (he was like the calmest person ever throughout all this) I still want to work with you... you guys are some of my favorite patients.."

me "Fine... do not challenge me on this."

My children proceeded to get their respective shots... I said thank you... and left the building.


FYI
The US vaccination schedule was developed to follow the early childhood well visit check ups because it meant that more children would have access to vaccines and they would be easier to track and manage as a series. This means that babies get 4 shots every 3 months. All of these shots have side effects some children are more sensitive to these than others. Either way their little bodies must fight off the vaccines as they develop antibodies to the "viruses"... which is a lot for them to do four at a time. If you have adequate health care coverage and continue to take your children in for well visits there is no reason why you cannot follow a slower and or alternate vaccination schedule. As I said Kid is actually fully vaccinated. Many vaccines need a "booster" ... not if you postpone them... some of those you can actually receive when they are older and avoid needing to boost it. "Fucking Doctor's" take is that Baby will remember getting vaccinated at 2 years old and have a fear of the doctor... why that is "cruel" I do not know. In fact Kid was able to get caught up last year and have 3 vaccines placed in one shot... making it ... one shot... so that seems less painful than the three shots that would have been had she had them when she was younger... but maybe that's just me being... logical! Having a child who has had surgeries, and spinal taps, CT scans, MRIs, etc and still is not afraid of the doctor or the hospital kind of negates this theory to me. The Baby might not remember the pain... but she still feels it... and not everyone agrees with the benefits versus the risks of some vaccines. Just ask anyone you know with an autistic child. Always be informed of your child's medical treatment. That is the definition of good parenting.

29 comments:

Feener said...

you go girl. if you said all you said you said. you did great !!! and i think it is horrible when a doctor makes parents feel this way. to use the word CRUEL ??? he can say he disagrees, he can say he strongly suggests the other way but CRUEL. i would report him. it is just plain wrong. motherfucker !

Tina said...

Well that's just messed up.

I'm sorry that cruel was his choice of word. Different, yes but not cruel. What a dork. My his mommy was cruel to him and he doesn't know anything different.

Oh and you'll be happy to know that stalking church sent us a letter wanting to know what we thought of them. I sent it back...blank. Crazy stalkers.

Mrs. Furious said...

Hi Feener

oh I really said what I said I said...

funnily enough after getting it off my chest and schooling him a bit.. I'd actually see him again because I'm fairly confident this will NOT be an issue in the future ;)

Mrs. Furious said...

Tina

what is it with the stalkers? I realize they are like "fresh blood" but after one visit?
I'm actually a little afraid to go on Sunday and have to come up with my excuses for why I didn't show up this morning.

Mrs. Furious said...

oh I should say I said all of that but... I didn't actually call him Fucking Doctor... I just didn't want to say his real name here.

eurydice said...

whoa! i'd be really pissed off too. good on ya Mrs. F!

Chris Howard said...

Wow, what a dick. It's not like all the vaccinations are done when they're babies anyway. Tori's last shot was this year, and she doesn't have any fear of the doctor. I think some of these pediatricians and GP's aren't really that well-informed.

The only thing I have a problem with are people who don't vaccinate their children at all on philosophical grounds.

We had a minor disagreement with our pediatrician when Tori was a baby, but nothing like this. We were using Carnation formula and he wanted us to use Enfamil or Similac, because the Carnation reformulation was new at that time. But he didn't push it too much

Toast said...

"Cruel" was quite the stupid choice of words.

What's "co-sleeping"?

P.O.M. said...

Argh. I absoluately HATE confrontation too. But you totally held your own and that is awesome! Way to go tough cookie.

Cara said...

good job for standing up for yourself!

they are not always right.

When I was having terrible stomach problems they told me it was just stress (I WAS 16 effing years old!!). Turns out i was allergic to chicken, which I found out 2 years later after bugging the doctor a LOT and going on a vegetarian diet. grr.

I am not vegetarian anymore, but am chicken free, and mostly stomach problems free :-)

I am glad you stood up for yourself and your baby! You are the one that knows best :-)

Heather said...

Again, you're my hero. I got misty reading the part about Dr. Sears. Go you! I hope you've gotten calmed down -- the aftermath of those things, I find, is exhausting.

Mrs. Furious said...

thanks for all the support guys!


Toast,
co-sleeping usually means some manner of bed sharing w/ your kids.
I co-slept w/ Kid on a mattress on the floor until she night weaned. Like you I suffer w/ serious sleep issues and doing this allowed me to get the most sleep... I litrally do not have to become fully awake and can still nurse while lying down. So Kid has her room, Mr F and the dog co-sleep in the guest room and Baby and I sleep on the floor. Mr F is a heavy sleeper (plus he snores!) so it isn't safe for him to share a bed with the Baby. This situation works for us while the kids are small.. since it allows all of us to get the most sleep possible.
Mr F and I actually slept in separate bedroom all through both pregnancies because I had such difficulty sleeping I couldn't add another person's snoring and whatnot adding any more night wakings!
Once I'm done nursing and can start drinking again... I should have no trouble sleeping through Mr F's snoring ;)

katieo said...

Extended breastfeeding and cosleeping are "liberal" parenting issues? HA! Move to Utah.

I'll be back later to comment more... just stopping in to say, good for you!!

Mrs. Furious said...

yeah.. despite Ann Arbor being a very "liberal" town politically... not so much with the parenting these days...

Midwest Mommy said...

Time to switch Docs :-)
I had a bad one and my blood would boil everytime I entered the office because I knew there would be a fight. I switch and have never been happier.

Mr Furious said...

All the exciting shit happens when I'm out of town!

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Seriously, despite our online reps, the Mrs and I really struggle with situations like this, and in a way, Mrs F was better off being there without me. We would have held our ground, but I don't think Mrs F would have laid into him, we would have ripped him apart in the car on the way home.

He got the reaming he deserved.

I'm proud of you.

Mrs. Furious said...

Hi Midwest Mommy,

I've debating this all night... and I think you are right. I was disrespected and I'm outta there!

Mrs. Furious said...

I'm proud of you.

thanks....now go find me a decrepit mansion

Mr Furious said...

How about this?

Mrs. Furious said...

Yes! Guess which part appeals to me the most?

Deb said...

Holy shit. No wonder I like you so much. We are living the same freakin' life, right on down to the mattress on the floor and the decrepit mansion! (We're moving into ours Monday. I just spent two hours with architects.)

Co-sleeping with the dog... I never thought of it in those terms. I must share that with Mr. Sue Burbia.

Mrs. Furious said...

Deb..

yes I don't know why I ever bought nursery furniture... the fact that I couldn't stand hearing my dog (then puppy) cry and so let him in the bed was probably a pretty big tip off that I would do the same thing with my kids!

must.get.decrepit.mansion.stat
well only if he gets the job...

katieo said...

Yo Mrs. F, I'm back. Not too much to add, just wanted to say that we've switched doctors (not for the same vaccination reason) but our current doctor is just way more willing to LISTEN to us and isn't as arrogant. Communication is key. As long as I feel like he listens and respects us, It doesn't bother me so much when he disagrees with me.

Mrs. Furious said...

As long as I feel like he listens and respects us, It doesn't bother me so much when he disagrees with me

word to that Katieo!

Splaneyo said...

As you know, I have also had a similar encounter with FD over antibiotics for a 3 month old that had been exposed to whooping cough. Yes, I know antibiotics can be bad, but in this case they can prevent DEATH FD! As the nurse said upon me demanding the medication, "you are the best advocate for the health of your family". Oh, and by the way I HATE his calm whispery voice telling me to put broccoli on Spencer plate every night. Hey, FD he's not going to eat it, so I'm just going to save myself a bit of time here, but do you know what you can do with the broccoli that is not going to appear on his plate? Anyway, now that I have ranted, I really just wanted to tell you that I feel your pain.
Heather

Mrs. Furious said...

LOL Heather!

sweetfoxx16 said...

I am interested in learning more about the alternative vaccine schedule. I am trying to find a good pediatrician that knows about breastfeeding and vaccines and will do the alternate schedule, any idea on how to go about this? What questions I should ask?? You can email me benotnothing@yahoo.com i would REALLY appreciate it. My son is behindon his shots because of insurance reasons but he is covered now so I want to start playing catch up asap.

CommitedToChildren said...

I would like to know more about this alternative vaccines schedule if you dont mind giving me some info on it. please email me at steviesmum04@yahoo.com

Mrs. Furious said...

sweetfox16,
I'll email you the schedule I'm following. It is from one of the Sears doctors. I like that he explains the risk vs benefits of each vaccine.
As for picking a doctor... obviously I haven't done such a good job myself. I say interview them and know what your position is. Take the vaccine schedule with you and ask them if they'll let you follow it. Don't stay with a doctor who doesn't respect your opinion or who makes you feel stupid or intimidated. As for b'feeding I find MOST doctors are under informed. I think it is most important to get the support and info you need from outside sources like LLL and just ignore what your pediatrician says if it isn't in line.
Good luck!



CommitedtoChildren,
read the above comment. I'll also email you the schedule I have.

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