Saturday, November 10, 2007

This Is A Long Time Coming...

Last week I was actually tagged TWICE to do one of these meme things...

So I've been trying to think up some good stuff to include in the list.

There is some schpeal I am supposed to say and link to people and tag more people... yada, yada, yada... well almost everyone I know has already been tagged at some point so if I have the time I'll just link to their posts. If you are dying to be tagged just pretend I did tag you and have at it.

on to the good stuff... Me

#1 Mrs F procrastinates to an extreme pathological level... this takes the form of "laziness" although it actually isn't. if Mrs F were to go in the cupboard for new toothpaste.. she would 98% of the time open the box take out the tube and put the empty box back in the cupboard... why?.. I don't know! I'll even have a debate with myself while I do it... "throw it out... I know I should but I'll do it LATER... you are crazy throw it out... I know...do it now or you'll never do it... should I?... yes!... I'm not doing it... I can't believe you are a grown up and you are actually putting it back on the shelf!... I know... I'm crazy". It probably has to do with some childhood trauma.

#2 Mrs F is an actual genius.. I am sure none of you are surprised by this. This is obvious upon meeting me in person I assure you. What you may be surprised by is the fact that I feel compelled to take the Tickle IQ tests just to reaffirm the truth and force Mr F to "bear witness" and that I have actually PAID money to have Tickle send me certificates just in case anyone demands quantifiable evidence.

#3 Mr F fell in love with Mrs F on their first date.. no kidding... he cannot even deny this... he was mesmerised by her obvious wit and charm... that and if she was drunk enough you could dare her to lick cars that were parked along the street...

#4 Mrs F has read every book written (cause Mrs F is like that if she has an interest she takes it all the way) by or about Laura Ingalls Wilder...due in part to Kid's own obsession... and all last year Kid spent most of the time in character as Laura... this was fantastic because Laura is much more polite and obedient than Kid! But I feel I must share with you that the real Laura was NOwhere near as cute as those Garth Williams illustrations.. this was a pretty shocking discovery.

#5 Relating to #4 Mrs F is convinced that she would have kicked ass as a pioneer woman. No fucking question. In fact the entire Furious clan might have been the greatest pioneer family of all time...

#6 Mrs F has developed a series of 5 hits to the head that will kill your opponent with a deadly final blow... she practices this on Mr F ALL the time (minus the actual impact... for now)... live in fear people... live in fear

#7 Mrs F despite all her smack talk is surprisingly skilled in most traditional "homemaking" arts. If you popped over to Mrs F's house there is a pretty good chance she would actually be wearing an apron.

Ooooh Bonus info:

#8 Mr & Mrs F often break out in spontaneous clap offs... yeah... it is probably exactly like what you are imagining.

#9 Mrs F fled an armed robbery last year when she was 8 months pregnant... you've never seen a pegnant woman move so fast! Thank god I had been watching "The Nine" so I was able to think on my toes and make for a quick escape!

#10 Mrs F yearns for some kind of religious or cultural connection.... which probably explains her obsession with the Amish... and the Swedes (kind of)... and is why she keeps trying churches despite not really being a "believer".

24 comments:

Feener said...

you have a gift. I think you are one of the funniest bloggers yet. i truly appreciate your wit. oh and i really appreciate your cursing. when i want to vent, i need to curse. and some of these mom bloggers are way to upbeat ALL the time. i am glad to see some one else ranting and raving and cursing.

Angie said...

And mrs. furious is the world's best neighbor. she shuts one's doors when said neighbor goes to Europe for 2 weeks and leaves the front door wide open. She notes when squirrel is running on top of neighbor's couch and sends her husband over to try to get it out before neighbor returns home. she has every ingredient under the sun that you can borrow. and when she tries to borrow your 3 year old baking soda she kindly buys you a new box. and she listens to a neighbor moan on and on about how tough her life is even when it is not that tough. and she gives kick ass advice.

so you all think she's cool as hell. and you are right!

Mrs. Furious said...

Feener thank you SO much!

you know when I go to people's sites I often think... hmm they don't actually say fuck they say @#$%.. may be I take it too far... maybe I'm too offensive?
But then I keep doing it anyway ;)
Mostly because this isn't a persona... I'm not making this stuff up.. this is what I really say and how I really say it and if I tried to censor that it would lose its authenticity and then it wouldn't be as funny...
when Kid starts saying mother fucker I might have to rethink that ;)

Mrs. Furious said...

I heart you Angie!

Deb said...

You're killing me over here. Why don't you live near me?

Mrs. Furious said...

Hey Deb you never know...
we'd actually love to live in St Paul (Mr F interviewed for 2 jobs in Minneapolis last year). Mr F just interviewed in Madison , WI so we'd be getting closer...

Heather said...

Never fucking consider less cuss words, godammit. This is what makes your blog REAL and damn funny to boot!

Great GREAT list!

How are you coping without Mr. F? Going crazy?

Mr Furious said...

[returning from bathroom]

So, should I file finishing the t.p. and placing the new roll atop the empty, still-mounted cardboard tube under No. 1?

Lazy? Or "intent to finish later"? You decide.

Mrs. Furious said...

I didn't do that... I used Kleenex!

Mrs. Furious said...

As you can see Heather...
the jerk is back! ;)

michelline said...

Mr F just interviewed in Madison , WI

I think he needs to interview in beautiful, sunny Jacksonville, FL, so you can be our neighbor :)

Mrs. Furious said...

michelline...
we would ...were it not for that pesky heat & humidity!

he did interview in B'ham AL last year... and we were scared, very scared, of those summers!

P.O.M. said...

I'm curios about your Amish Jingle. Care to share? Or did you already and I missed it. Maybe you can share more or your Amish knowledge....

You're quite a funny furious lady.

Mrs. Furious said...

He P.O.M,
What do I not know about the Amish?!?

A request has been made that we act out the jingle and post the video... I am thinking about honoring that request...

but no you haven't missed it... stay tuned!

Chris Howard said...

Mrs F fled an armed robbery last year when she was 8 months pregnant... you've never seen a pegnant woman move so fast! Thank god I had been watching "The Nine" so I was able to think on my toes and make for a quick escape!

Wow, no shit? You should blog the story, if it's not too traumatic or anything. And good thing you caught The Nine before it got canceled.

Mrs F yearns for some kind of religious or cultural connection.... which probably explains her obsession with the Amish... and the Swedes (kind of)... and is why she keeps trying churches despite not really being a "believer".

Well that clears up one of my questions about you.

Mrs. Furious said...

Chris,

I thought you knew about the robbery.. I think Mr F might have posted about it last year.

Was your question why I sometimes go to church... or why I love the swedes?

Church is complex I guess... I mean I don't believe in "God" so that can be a bit over a problem with the whole church thing...I also think I have really positive nostalgic images of church from the few times I went as a kid, but never find the same feeling I'm looking for when I go now. I don't really have a problem with sermons and whatnot as I kind of view it as a lecture and I can become kind of fascinated in a "course of study" sort of way. I think because I had a pretty hard childhood and a lot of loneliness growing up I have always wished for a deep sense of community... if you are religious it seems easier to find that and establish it wherever you are. So far it has not worked... but I have not tried the Quaker Meeting house yet and that is still on my list...
Mostly I have stuck with protestant churches since I have at least a little familiarity with them. But I am completely the type of person who had I married a Jewish (or Amish for that matter!) man would have happily converted in order to be able to participate in a larger cultural experience.

katieo said...

It's probably for the best that you are several states away. We would have waaaay too much fun if you lived in my neighborhood.

(I am fighting the urge to respond to every number...)
But, a pioneer? I can understand the whole "Little House on the Prairie" appeal, but how bout that pesky infant death mortality rate? I only bring it up because I spend too much time thinking about the pioneers and that whole lack of modern medicine thing.

As long as it was brought up, I'm not actually a fan of the swearing. That's just me though. It obviously hasn't kept me from reading or being a huge fan ;) Who knows, maybe if you took it away you'd shrivel up and become someone else.

(btw, I bundled up all three boys the other night and trekked over to the library. THe first Beverly Lewis book in the "Abraham's Daughter" (is that right?) series was checked out. Fiasco for nothing. I hate when that happens )

(and Angie, you left your front door open when you went to Europe? HA!)

Mr Furious said...

I could swear I told the story about the robbery last year, but it seems to not be in the archives... Dunno what happened to it.

Chris Howard said...

I wasn't a reader last year. I just wandered over after Mr F started posting regularly at TwoGlasses.

And yeah, my question was about church, because I was sure you had said you weren't a believer.

Mrs. Furious said...

katieo,
I spend too much time thinking about the pioneers

lol.. I couldn't get past that part of the sentence!

and fortunately for you I only swear in like 65% of my posts!

Mrs. Furious said...

Chris,

the word I was looking for is Fellowship.... I'm looking for fellowship.

also of course I am only attending churches that are politically and socially liberal so that I don't have to swallow a bunch of stuff I don't believe...

Mrs. Furious said...

Katieo,

of course last night I was like.. hmmm... infant death... not good. So we wouldn't load up the wagon until say Baby was 3 years old then we'd ship out and kick ass!


Did you by the way watch the "Into The West" series a few years back.. Mr F & I were just talking about it last night it was fantastic and they have it at our library.


Yes Abram's daughters... I also had a hard time getting these at the library they are very popular!

michelline said...

also of course I am only attending churches that are politically and socially liberal

You can tell you live up North with a comment like that!

Mrs. Furious said...

michelline...

yeah I thought I needed to make that clear for you Southerner's.
at my mom's church the minister's wife left him for a woman in the choir... and they all still attend the church... so when I say liberal... I really mean it!

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