Mr F and I were talking about our sledding ramp, and the dangers potentially associated with it, at the back door then we went to the basement where Mr F sat down to do some work and I was yapping about something when I heard the sound of running water. Now I had been doing laundry all night so at first I thought it was the sound of the washing machine loading with water. Then I looked over and I realized with HORROR and DISBELIEF that Canine was peeing a HUGE, LONG, HORSE PISS right on the laundry. What The Fuck?!? Canine has got to be losing his mind! We were all just at the back door moments before this... he gave absolutely no indication that he needed to go out. And throughout the duration of the world's longest dog piss he was acting like this is where he is supposed to relieve himself. I was yelling his name and he didn't even flinch.. just proceeded to let it all out. Canine I hate you.
26 comments:
I paid him to do it—to bump me down on the shit list!
Maybe Santa will leave canine some tinkle trousers.
Good work Mr F!
Seriously, maybe he has a plumbing issue?
amy,
shit that is funny... I hope it doesn't come to that... of course we could always strap one of Baby's diapers on him in the meantime.
Heather,
Canine is a prick. Of course I'll see what is up with him tomorrow... but he does weird shit like this... not usually pee (that is weird) but he is getting older and more and more issue-y and mental.
Excellent strategy, Mr. F.
Oooh... laundry is MUCH worse than the stack of boxes I had laid out for recycling that Phantom Shitter peed on this week. Although, in my defense, I went ballistic because he peed, pooped AND barfed while my back was turned.
Deb,
somehow I knew you'd be able to relate to this post!
my number one problem with Canine (outside of his general disobediance) is that he is a small dog and therefore is really, at 9, only at his halfway point... and yet that doesn't mean they don't start to lose their minds (and apparently their bladder control) you just have to live with it for 9 more freaking years!
Uh...do you secretly love this dog because that would be it for me...
Kiki,
(heather close your eyes!)
to be honest I'm kind of over Canine. He is a dick. And a lot of that is our fault... but seriously this shit is getting OLD!
believe me i feel your pain. Kirby did that way too often. wanted to kick his ass. may he rest in peace.
ang,
that made me LOL!
happy birthday by the way :)
Just to be clear—
Mrs F spent much of the day doing about fourteen loads of laundry for her and the girls. Often, that means a fourteen foot high pile of laundry, but tonight she was adamant about sorting, folding and transporting it out of the laundry area.
She had finished doing this probably 15 minutes before Putty let it fly...so what did he pee on?
MY laundry.
After my initial outrage, I realized that, though disgusting, peeing on my clothes right in front of the washer actually made clean up about as easy as possible...just toss em righ back in the machine. The pee never even made it to the floor!
Better than lifting his leg on the fucking bookcase like our other dog used to do. But Putty better watch his ass—that dog's ashes sit on a shelf with plenty of room.
Following up. If Putty had actually peed on Mrs. F's laundry after her day today, I don't think I could have stopped her from killing him then and there.
I had a friend in college who once peed in someone's laundry basket of clean clothes, but he had no memory of it as he had had far too many drinks that night.
The girl who owned the laundry was appalled. I of course could not stop laughing. It was not my laundry.
Bad dog, canine.
I have a cat who does that. About three times a day. And yes, he is neutered. Maybe that's why..he's still pissed off about it.
Damn pets! That's pretty gross.
I am completely over my cats, too! I have enough poop and puke to clean up after the kids, I don't need more. Yesterday I was looking in the sofa cushions for the drumsticks to the electronic drum machine (that my husband's boss gave our son for Christmas......umm, thanks.) and guess what I found. A cat turd. Under the sofa cushion. How the hell did that happen? Shitting on the floor wasn't pissing me off enough, now he has to shit in the sofa? Damn cats.
Julie,
I don't even know what to say about that...lol
although I confess that when I was really mad at a roommate I was dared to pee in her shampoo and I DID.. ahh to be 18 again...
Deborah,
three times a day?!? That cat would have a new home by now if he was ours!
Robin,
in the couch? Once Canine pooped in Mr F's shoe... what are the chances of pooping right into the shoe?! It always seemed so deliberate!
I should say that it was really a friend of a friend. Not someone I really hung out with!
Now peeing in a roommate's shampoo! That is too funny...uh, I mean gross:) (you KNOW i think that is wicked funny...)
I'll be using YOUR shampoo from now on.
Mr F,
what I never told you that?!?
you should know I'll do just about anything on a dare!
Robin,
I was able to rationalize that the shampoo was already cleaning the pee... but I assure you when she used it my other roommates and I got a pretty big kick out of it! Lets just say she was not well liked by us!
yea but he is cute huh ?
Feener,
tell me about it... he could be a part-time model! ;)
no seriously he is VERY attractive... we can't walk down the street without people practically crashing their cars. People have driven around the block to be able to pull over and ask what kind of dog he is. To which I should reply "mixed-breed prick!"
Oh, no he di-in't! I swear, that dog is just begging to become a cozy pair of slippers!
and a warm and fluffy pair he'd make! ;)
i love your labels.
Amy,
oh thanks... yeah I stole that shtick from Mr Furious!
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