Thursday, January 24, 2008

Come One...Come All

Mrs Furious is at the ready....

Now is your chance to get all your questions answered.... So fire away!

Let the Q & A begin. I'll see you in the comments.

125 comments:

Mrs. Furious said...

I wasn't going to put this up until tomorrow... but you are all up before me so I thought I'd give you the chance to get your questions up.
I'll answer them as soon as I can.
If I think your question deserves a really thoughtful longer response it might get answered after shorter ones... just FYI.

emmyjw said...

OK,I'm going to be lame and ask how did you and Mr F. meet? Nolan and I met our senior year of highschool,I moved to a new town for my senior year,we were 16...gag me;)

Amy said...

Oooh. I was almost first. That was going to be my question too.

What was Mrs. F like before kids? What did you do for fun/in your spare time/etc.

What brought you to Ann Arbor, and, where would you live if you could live anywhere?

Mrs. Furious said...

Emmy,
We met in dog training class in Park Slope (Brooklyn). He thought I was 17 and training the family dog, I thought he was 25 and might have been an architect. We were both wrong. I kind of had a crush on him right away... but I was rebounding so he need not get a big head about it. We started dating about 41 days (okay not about... exactly) later and have been together since.

Mrs. Furious said...

Amy,
drink.
just kidding.... kind of... although I did drink upon occasion and I am a hilarious drunk.

This is really sad but this is what I did before kids....I'D GO TO TARGET. For Real. We lived in NYC and a great treat would be to pick up my best friend and drive out to Queens where there was a Target and an Old Navy and buy TONS of crap.

Before kids we lived in the city and we went out a lot. Saw bands, went to cool bars... the city usual stuff. I'd go see plays and comedy stuff my friends were in.

I've always loved reading cookbooks and baking and being a Martha Stewart nerd.

Good God I'm not really any different... either that is massively pathetic or totally cool.

Amy said...

Yeah. Fun drunk. I could see that!

Mrs. Furious said...

Amy,
I completely forgot your other questions.

We moved to AA on a whim. We were both burned out with the city and my brother lived here and I wanted to be near my nieces... we thought it would be cheaper and we'd be "living like kings!"... We came for Thanksgiving and bought a house and moved in the following July.

If I could live anywhere it would probably be Park Slope (kind of sad huh?). I haven't found another place so well suited to me. I also love Traverse City, MI and could live there if it weren't for the winters.

Mr Furious said...

I am a hilarious drunk

Um, yeah. There exists somewhere video footage of Ms. F wearing my wastepaper basket over her head like a knight and wielding something (don't recall) as a sword.

God knows if I can get my hands on that tape it will go online.

Other antics? Foot race challenges, laying on the sidewalk, licking a parked car, general mischief I am forgetting at the moment...

Mrs. Furious said...

Mr F,
close... I put all of your clothes on top of my clothes and a Clemson tiger tail on and wrapped a long lead leash around my waist and then put the trash can on my head and told you I was heading up to the roof.

Mr Furious said...

"living like kings!"

LOL! Yeah, right. I think we were going to have an Audi TT and a BMW X5 if I recall...

Instead it was my bashed-up 86 Saab and your concrete-covered Jetta until we bought a minivan.

Missives said...

Now that my dreams have come true, I have performance anxiety and can't think of a single question. I'll work on them tonight.

Amy said...

How did your decision to be a stay-at-home mom vs. work in your career, come about? That's a tough decision that a lot of women have to make and I'm curious about your thought process.

Mary said...

Mrs. F -- Do you think you'll go back to work once the girls are in school? Do you get lonely at home all day? (I stayed home with 3 little ones, so I remember how hard it can be!)

(By the way, I made your sweet potato stew last night and it was delicious! Definitely a keeper. Thanks!)

Shirls said...

did you always want to be a mom?

Heather said...

What's the deal with co-sleeping?

I'll try to check back later tonight, got a crazy day and a sore throat. Check check, as you would say.

Danielle said...

Will the Furious Family stay in Michigan forever? Or do you have a "wanderlust"? I'm curious because I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE living in California, but somedays...I just want to be "home".

Anonymous said...

What do you eat when you have your "take-out" nights? Just curious.

eurydice said...

What does Mr. F do for a living and what did you do, in New York and in AA before you had children? For some reason I think Mr. F works in graphic design, although I don't know where that thought is coming from?

Mrs. Furious said...

easy first:

Shirls,
I've always wanted to be a mom... came out of the womb that way.


Danielle,
I have no idea where we'll be. We both suffer from serious wanderlust. We can't go on vacation without looking at houses before we leave. Last year we thought for sure we would move... You never know. If Mr F got offered a job we would move for it... anywhere. At the same time we are feeling settled and Ann Arbor is a great town.



Anon,
We often get Middle Eastern for take out.

Mrs. Furious said...

eurydice,
Mr F is a graphic designer. And art director to be specific. He does the covers and layouts of several magazines (his freelance business). If you went to a bookstore I guarantee you'd see at least 4 magazines that he did there. He also works for a local college doing there design work for our benefits. He might start trying to sell is photos now too.
I am a clinical social worker. I worked as a therapist before kids. Once we moved here I was offered a job to be the social work director of a nursing home... but turned it down and got pregs. Haven't worked a day since (out of the house).



Amy (Utah),
I always wanted to stay at home. We would be willing to go without or go broke even to make that happen. I don't have a really great answer for this other than to say I NEED to stay home with them. My career doesn't make a whole lot of money so it is not like working and paying for childcare would be brining us much anyway. But that isn't the reason... although it is a reason I give if I think people are judging me. If we needed money I would take other kids in and run a home based daycare before I'd go to work. I don't know if that answers your question. It is important to me to be here and Mr F agreed to do whatever it took to insure that happened when we got married.

Mrs. Furious said...

Mary,
I will go back to work. I'm not too lonely. Especially now that I've got all of you guys. Before I had Baby I left the house more and had lots of classes and playdates with Kid. She only just started preschool last fall (at 4) a few months before I had Baby.
I am not sure in what capacity I'll return to work. I was a therapist and before I stopped I thought I would want to ideal have a private practice (still might pursue that). But I also really want to start a non-profit community center for mothers with young children that would serve as a preventative service and offer programs (play classes, nutrition classes, etc) as well as a safe place to play and interact. With the bonus of having social workers and early education specialists staffing it and being able to get referrals and help for mom's who need it. When I worked in NY a lot of the situations that ended going badly were because the moms I worked with lacked the things I can afford to provide for myself... baby classes, socialization, meetings, library story times, etc. I want to bring these things in to more disadvantaged neighborhoods without them being associated with the "social service" system. Many of these young mom's don't get this kind of intervention until it is too late. I want to create a stigma free place, maybe by an elementary school that would draw them in with activities for kids but then when they felt it was a safe place they could take advantage of the other services. Also see it having healthy snacks, clothing and toy exchange. Educated workers who can model appropriate play and discipline with the kids. Dreams.....

michelline said...

If Mr F got offered a job we would move for it... anywhere.

Except for Florida! :)

michelline said...

When did you get interested in cooking? What made you decide to go to school for it?

Mrs. Furious said...

Heather,
co-sleeping.... it just happened. We had a nursery for Kid but she never used it. I had a c-section and a lot of pain with her birth and I couldn't get in and out of bed easily. I had a bassinet by the bed but I'd keep wanting to get up and see if she was still alive... so I moved her in the bed. Then she never left. It was easier to nurse lying down and one day follows the next and that just continued. Plus I like to think about things from the "we are animals" point of view... seems perfectly natural that a baby would want to sleep next to its mother and vice versa. There have been MANY many nights when the kids have gotten sick or whatever that I have been so thankful that I was RIGHT there. Sure I don't get a lot of sleep... but I'm also unwilling to let my kids cry... I'm crazy empathetic like that and I don't think it is wrong for them to want to be with me and kind of see that as their right... it isn't their fault they were born into "western culture". Ya know?

Mrs. Furious said...

Michelline,
for the right $$ we'd move ANYWHERE.

Mrs. Furious said...

Michelline,
I've always loved cooking. I can remember going to my Dad's for vacations and baking every day (at age 12). I think it is part of my way of trying to have a more "donna reed-ish" homey life than what I really had. I watched the food shows on PBS when I was little with my mom. I love reading cookbooks and am self taught that way. I debated going to the CIA instead of college but figured it is something you can always go back and do and I might not be quite as motivated in the opposite direction. I'd love to have a bakery or something. I went to the local culinary school to work toward my pastry chef certification once we moved here and I chose not to work while I was pregs. I didn't finish since I had Kid and the classes are 5 hours long. Maybe I will someday maybe I won't. It isn't necessary unless you want a restaurant job. I'd work for myself if I did it... it is very stressful though.

Haley said...

Hmmmm....how about, if you had another baby, what would name him/her?

Gigs said...

Would you guys ever move back to NYC?

Do your kids really eat whatever you put on the table? No picky eaters at your house? (I think I missed the window of opportunity on this somehow. The idea of my kids eating middle eastern is actually comical...)

Mrs. Furious said...

Haley,
no more kids for us (biological anyway)
But our favored boy names were Noah/Owen for Kid and I'm not sure we ever settled on one for Baby (we knew she was a girl) but Elliot/Sam were contenders.
Secretly I really like the name Mabel for a girl but it made Mr F gag and everyone else in the world but I love Old names and it sounds like "may" and "bell" so I don't know why it is so hideous. Better than Hazel in my book.



Gigs,
I don't really do the "kid" food thing. Kid is a good eater and naturally don't like kid food... so she was easy that way. Her favorite restaurant foods are sushi rolls and "steak meat". She is more of a savory kid so that helps I think ... she'd eat a piece of meat over a piece of cake any day of the week. She loves vegetables actually over fruit. She had a lot of food sensitivities as a young child so her early taste buds developed around not having Dairy, Soy, Wheat & Eggs. I have to say outside of eggs which she loves she never really developed a taste for the others. Well except wheat... she loves pasta. But as for dinners I don't cook a separate one. I do not make things she doesn't like... but those are pretty few. Since she loves protein of all kind and rice and pasta and vegetables... dinner isn't really hard for me. She won't eat bread right now so sandwiches are out and I make her pasta with some kind of vegetable mixed in EVERYDAY for lunch. Breakfast she eats an egg or sausage or both (she LOVES meat did I mention that!!!) and berries or kiwi or if I'm lazy nothing else. Not a big snacker either. She has a choc milk on the way home from school and she eats dessert every night... newman's o's and milk or something.
She is possibly the easiest kid in the world to take to a restaurant... but she is not a cheap kid to take to a restaurant she won't eat off the kid's menu and will likely want the prime rib or salmon.

Mrs. Furious said...

Gigs,
Oh... yes we'd move back. If Mr F could make enough money $$$. I'd didn't want to be there with babies but were getting past that. I think I'd feel like we would need to do private schools though and I couldn't even earn enough to pay for those. He'd have to stumble into the highest paying job of all time! I do have more career opportunities in NY though and have maintained my license all this time (that probably says something!)

Torey said...

This is so fun. I'm just getting home so I can play too!!

Can I come work in your center when you open it?!?!

Do you and Mr. F have a lot of friends in the area? We never hear you say that you had friends over or you were at a friends' or something. Are you very social or are you a homebody?

Mrs. Furious said...

Torey,
hmm that is a tough question. We were more social before Baby. Most everyone we know has kids and is on their second and schedules and whatnot conflict a lot more. I have to say much like a lot of other things we just haven't made it a priority. We were obviously much more social in NY... but when we moved here we didn't know anyone other than my brother and I wasn't working and Mr F worked from home... so it took us a while to make friends. We are very friendly with all our neighbors and get together with them every so often. After Kid I made big efforts to have a "mom's night out" every week and play dates and the dads all got along and we'd have dinner and holiday parties. But now with bigger families and people moving that has gone a way. We are kind of homebody-ish I guess. We enjoy going out but it has been hard with the Baby to make getting together a priority.
And the blog does help me feel "social" without having to make the effort to go somewhere!

Gigs said...

Okay, I'm just really jealous on the food thing. I also don't make separate meals ever, but that means we all eat a lot of "basic" foods - grilled chicken, stuff made from hamburger. Nothing too exotic. Truthfully my youngest is very good about trying new stuff, but my oldest has a wicked gag reflux and new tastes and textures are tough for him. I love your easy recipes, so keep 'em coming.

Torey said...

How did you get the blog started? And how did it get so popular??

I'm thinking of starting one to help with motivating myself to clean, but I want to have readers etc.

Mrs. Furious said...

Gigs,
I had the gag reflex as a kid... terrible... and my parents were not understand about it. I can remember my dad force feeding me spinach (still texture of cooked spinach is disgusting to me... wonder why?!) in the bathroom while I gagged. They were young and dumb sometimes he though I was doing it on purpose. But fear not I eat almost everything now. My youngest cousin was really food phobic (or whatever is PC for picky) and only at pb&j, and pea pods... pretty much. He is now in college and eats everything. So I say it is best just to respect where they are at and know that it will change. I do think eating stuff you like in front of them is important even just when you go out and can. Mr F was NOT exposed to a lot of foods and it took a while for him to believe he might like something (salmon for example) because he had never had it or seen normal people eat it. You know what I'm saying. Food exposure, whether they eat it or not, does still open their eyes and nose to new smells and foods.

Mrs. Furious said...

Torey,
I started it this summer on a whim mostly because I thought it would be funny it Mr F stumbled upon it. He had told me to do one before and I think he didn't think I could figure it out myself so I kind of did it to spite him!
The readers is trickier to answer. I don't know where everyone comes from. I have gotten a lot of press on other people's blogs (Mr F & Sister Skinny) to start and they and so their readers came over. But that has happened for me quite a bit. I was also a Weblog Award finalist and that got me more exposure (although I'm unsure of how much of that stuck). It is networking really. And lord knows I put a lot of time into keeping this thing up and current on a daily basis so people are entertained. Also I comment back and most bloggers don't. A lot of blogs probably have more readers but I have super loyal readers who comment back and forth.

Mrs. Furious said...

Gigs,
I will note that I almost never make Mexican since Kid doesn't do spicy. She is actually getting more and more picky about spicy it didn't used to be a problem.

I'll let you know what happens with Baby. I may very well have just lucked into the Kid situation. Although she is a chow hound and she just started saying her first word "more" in regards to food... that's my girl ;)

Torey said...

What is your vice/weakness? I cannot drive past a Starbucks or the like (Bearclaw for you Ann Arbor-ites. . .it rocks the house) without wanting to swing in. I'm getting better at not doing it, but it's a struggle. Do you have something like this?

Mrs. Furious said...

Torey,
McDonalds. I have a really hard time not wanting to get a double hamburger and a Dr Pepper. Soda is my biggest vice/weakness. I also must get a big muffin when I grocery shop at Hillers and a mocha if I go to the Target w/ the Starbucks in it. I've got a bit of a sweet tooth.

katieo said...

Ooo, this is fun.
(Mrs. F, can I just say, we are on the same page with names. I (still) love the name Owen. And Elliot. We have a Sam. I think Mabel is adorable. I'm very much a fan of the "older" names...AND...I lived in Traverse City for a year! At Interlochen, have you guys every been there?)

Also,

1) Where do Mr. F and Kid go on their dates? Is Mr. F currently looking for a job out of state?

2) Are you close to your brother?

3) Are you still thinking about homeschooling kid?

4) Is baby still crying/waking all through the night?

Preppy Mama said...

I am totally impressed with your weight loss and your will power/ motivation.
I love your dinner menus, however I am always so curious what you eat for breakfast and lunch.
And do you snack?

Torey said...

Do you feel any disappointment that you don't have a son? What about Mr. F?

Are you close with your mom? We haven't heard about her.

Mr Furious said...

"...She won't eat bread right now so sandwiches are out..."

Hilarious. If Kid's "hungry" before bed, I make her a PB&J and she eats it every time!

But if you offer it for lunch..."no thanks."

--

Katieo-

Kid and I usually go to Noodles & Co. or occasionally Olive Garden. We also do Chinese.

emmyjw said...

I love Traverse City too, we lived in Petoskey when I was going into junior high through the end of my junior year,I like it up north.Do you guys ever go to the U.P., or any other vacation spots aside from Disney?

Mr Furious said...

Mrs F's family has a cottage in Empire. This was the first summer we didn't go Up North, because the drive is too long for the baby, and the cottage is too far from the hospital if Kid has a seizure.

It's fantastic up there...

Mr Furious said...

Do you feel any disappointment that you don't have a son? What about Mr. F?

In theory, I would have like one of each, but I really feel like I'm a good "girl's dad" so I have no regrets.

I'm "fixed" so we won't be having any more kids of our own. If we were ever to adopt (a potential scenario one day) I would lobby for a boy.

Amy said...

i have a similar husband who would work 9 jobs if needs be just to have me home. i work 1 day/week because i love my career as well as my own personal sanity. it's a fair trade i think. however, i think women, like us, who have husbands who will make such sacrifices to have us home with the children are truly amazing men. amazing.

Mrs. Furious said...

Isn't this always the way?!
I was home with Baby sleeping and Kid at school from 1-3... NO QUESTIONS... then I go get Kid and boom everyone is here at once!
I see Mr F is having a slow day on his blog and his taken my place though ;)



Katieo,
#1 Mr F & Kid go to Noodles & Co and Olive Garden mostly. I won't take Kid to N&C since I refuse to pay for buttered noodles when she eats them for lunch everyday... so of course it is the desired forbidden fruit for her!

#2 The Bro Question.... VERY complicated. Literally yes we live a mile away. We look very much a like too. Almost like twins. Except he is 6 feet and 200 lbs ;) My brother and I were treated very differently during our growing up. You may recall those were not good times and I didn't really even come close to getting into it. We reacted to that in opposite ways. That can make our relationship turbulent. We both very much wish for closeness but have hurt each other in the process. I think I understand this more than he does... but I don't know. I don't think he'll ever really get that I was mistreated because he was not (in as obvious of a way). But we love each other and care deeply about our children and would both do anything for the other or their kids. You've got to run to the ER w/the kids you call him.. he'll beat you there.

#3 I will probably always think about homeschooling. I kind of like the romantic notion of packing up the kids and living in Tuscany for a year (doesn't every associate that with homeschooling?!). At this point I think we'll start with the public Kindergarten and see if we like it before we make a different choice. I was always going to different schools and stuff and would like for my kids to have a strong social network... I'm not so worried that they won't be smart ;)

#4 YES. ALL THE TIME. I'm pretty sure it is just constant teething. She's one year next week and she still only has the 2 teeth.

Julie said...

Where did you grow up? I remember something about being born in Vermont, but then where?

This by the way is cracking me up. You and Mr F are like celebrities and we want to know everything about you:)

Mrs. Furious said...

Preppy Mama,
Thank you. I'm a pretty extreme all or nothing personality so I guess once I got going that really helped me sustain it. Getting started may have been what always stymied me in the past.

Food.
I eat like crap.

b'fast (virtually every day) 2 Van's Hearty Oat Maple Fusion waffles w/ a very little butter
coffee w/ cream & sugar
total 300 calories

lunch (typical) 1/2 a turkey or ham sandwich.
185-200 calories
on Tuesday's I go grocery shopping and I have a big bakery muffin for lunch instead ;)

snack 4pm
coffee w/ cream & sugar 65 calories
and some kind of something in the 200 calorie range (usually not good for me... sometimes a yogurt or whatever)

dinner you know what I make 400 calories

dessert
hot cocoa 115
brownie or sugar cereal 200 calorie range

I also drink water through out the day... sparkling mineral water.
My dinners are really healthy and well balanced but I often eat on the run and I don't take time to sit down and eat fruits or vegtables (even though I serve them to the kids!!... I know it is crazy) in the day.

Julie said...

Any other siblings? I remember you mentioned a younger sister. What are your relationships with any other siblings?

linds said...

funny thing is - on ANY given "normal" day i have a million random questions to ask, now when question day comes along i can't think of a single question!!

Mrs. Furious said...

Torey,
boys?
Not so much of a disappointment. I needed to have a least one girl. The second could have been a boy and we would have been happy... knowing it would be our last and all. But if we had to have 2 of one sex girls is good for me and Mr F is a great girl dad.

Mom?
More complicated.... but yes we are close. I was trying to find the meme I did way back... It explains it better in the comments. It wasn't good time for me growing up.

Mrs. Furious said...

Emmy,
yes Disney has just been a more recent and frequent vacation spot.
As Mr F said my family has a cottage on Lake Michigan right by the Sleeping Bear Dunes. We typically go up 2 or 3 times in the summer. Last year we did not. It's a drive and I didn't want to do it with the baby... and there are the medical issues. Disney is just a safe place for us to go.
Before Kid's seizures she and I travelled quite a bit. I would drive to the East Coast and visit all our relatives from CT, NY, NJ, PA pretty often. We had great times stopping in Canada and through out NY at all the children's museums and stuff. She was a great co-pilot. Twice a year she and I (occasionally Mr F) would go stay at a house in the PA mountains with my extended family. She and I went to Savannah, GA w/my mom. I love to travel about. We'd usually be off visiting... but we are kind of grounded now since many places on our drive east I have to go too far between hospitals and/or might not have cell service.

Mrs. Furious said...

Amy (Utah),
Yes. He is a good man (makes me crazy ... but good).


Julie,
I was born in VT. My parents went to Bennington College. They were High school sweet hearts and grew up in MI. So after me they came back for financial reasons. I grew up in the suburbs of Detroit about an hour from where we live now.



Concur with Mr F ... if we adopt we could shoot for a boy. But we'd do it through the foster system and so we would be open to whatever.

Robin said...

This is too much fun!

What made you decide to stop at two babies?

Mrs. Furious said...

Julie,
Oh and when I was 12 my Dad moved to South Jersey (NJ for all you non east coasters) and so I spent lots of time there too. Summers on the Jersey shore and whatnot.


I have an older brother (35)
Then from my father I have a younger half-bro (23)
and half-sis (20)
Then from my mom I have a younger half-sis (23).

The sibs I have from my Dad I have much better, easier, less complicated relationships with then the sibs from my mom. My mom did a bad job of creating a lot of competition and jealousy between us.

Mrs. Furious said...

linds,
that's alright. You can always ask unrelated questions in any post.



Robin,
I have very difficult pregnancies.
got to go put Baby down... be back to finish this one...

Mr Furious said...

What made you decide to stop at two babies?

We actually had decided to stop with one. But relented. Then knowing in a few years we might trick ourselves into doing it again, we decided that I would have a vasectomy.

I think the way that we have chosen to parent has been very demanding, and frankly (speaking for myself here) I would want to reset the clock and do it again.

I love Baby more than anything, and seeing pics of her yesterday in the dress-over-pants, made me wish I could just run home and gobble her up... So, we have no regrets about having number two, but Mrs F suffered through her pregnancy and many times she wished we hadn't done it.

Most of all, we both feel totally fulfilled and happy with our family the way it is. Now, if we could get some sleep.............

zzzzzzzz............

..
.

Mr Furious said...

I would want to reset the clock and do it again.

Oops! I would NOT want to reset the clock and do it again.

Nutmeg said...

so... someone here lives in South Jersey..


I ain't namin' names or nothing.

but it might be me.

Mrs. Furious said...

Robin,
okay.
I suffer with PNV during pregs (persistent nausea and vomiting). During preg with Kid I didn't know what to think about it. I was very sick (no vomit though) and it was depressing. I felt at times like I can't do it. I am too sick. But at 12 weeks it went away and I realized that I just couldn't handle the hormone load of early pregs and once the placenta takes over the production I was fine. Still I don't love being pregs I'm small and putting on the weight I do makes things hard.
I always intended to have my kids 4 years apart. Psychologically speaking this is an ideal age separation (and I can attest that it really is) the older child is naturally starting to pull away etc. But in between we debated not having more. Our parenting choices are exhausting but we believe in them and we were finally done with all the co-sleeping, nursing, etc. Kid was easy. I was totally fulfilled and satisfied... if we moved back to the city 1 would be easier. Well I was always second guessing since everyone here is having like 4 kids and I felt a lot of social pressure and I just was never sure. So I got pregs.
Well I was about 100x sicker. PNV is rough. I liken it to what I have read and witnessed in cancer patients who go through chemo. It is ruthless and you feel like you have a poison in you. I prayed to miscarry. We had to seriously debate ending the pregnancy (and that is something we would NOT just do... it was BAD) but at some point it becomes about your health and people I did not think I could go 12 weeks in that kind of a living hell. I did. And it continued until I was 6 months. And this time I got to vomit too. Terrible. So the lesson learned is that much like PPD... PNV can get worse with each pregnancy. I can't do it again. I was not able to parent the way I want while pregs and I certain couldn't do it with 2 kids. So Mr F got fixed while I was pregnant so there was no chance of it happening by accident or hormonal urge.

Mrs. Furious said...

Mr F,
Thank God you corrected this...
"frankly (speaking for myself here) I would want to reset the clock and do it again."
My eyes had just popped out of my head!!!
I had already copied it to say "NOT ME" before I saw your retraction!

Mrs. Furious said...

Nutmeg,
My Dad lived in Medford until recently. He works for NFL Films and that is in Mount Laurel. We head out that way every so often... I'll have to let you know next time we are heading out.

Robin said...

I'm sorry the pregnancies were so hard on you.

I, too, feel social pressure to have more kids. People think that because I'm a SAHM, that I should have tons of kids. But I don't think I would be able to give the emotional attention I want to give to more kids, not to mention the financial aspect of being able to give the kids the opportunities I want to.

I have easy pregnancies, and ridiculously easy births, so that for me isn't an incentive not to have more. I do sometimes feel the urge. I'm not quite ready for hubby to get a vasectomy.

Sorry, this is a q & a about you. It is just nice to see another SAHM with only two kiddos.

Julie said...

Mrs F,
I was very sick with vomiting my entire 2nd pregnancy. I actually was in the hospital with it and had to take some medication that they give chemo patients...at a cost of $1,000 for a 10 day supply. I took that for the WHOLE pregnancy. Thankfully, we have great health insurance and I only paid like $10 each time the RX was filled.

I truly know how you felt. I was so sick and caring for a robust 1 year old. I do remember at low points thinking that a miscarriage would be a blessing. The day after I gave birth to my little guy, I was all better. I really thought that throwing up constantly and/or being nauseaus was just going to be my existence from then on. I did get sick with my first pregnancy, but it was done by the 2nd trimester.

And boy do I have delivery stories...can you say emergency c-section 6 weeks early after 36 hours of triple dose pitocin-induced labor...I had all the fun of labor with the recovery of a c-section. Then after attempting VBAC with my second, after 15 hours of labor, I was rushed in for another c-section...good thing as my uterus was about to burst. Good times...Yup, I got a little postpartum depressed after all that shit...

I decided to stop at the 2 wonderfully, crazy boys I have. I am not even sure if I can carry another child...

Torey said...

I'm making tuna noodle casserole right now. I was going to make the chicken salad as discussed, but alas, we are out of chicken. Another day . . .


What things as a parent (Mr. F, you too!) do you do that you said "When I have kids I will NEVER. . .?"

And I had PNV too. The whole 9 months. They actually gave me Zofran which is for cancer patients. I thought I might die. But Zofran every morning solved the problem. If I didn't take it, WOAH! but as long as I took it every morning I was fine. Almost like I'd never been sick.

Nutmeg said...

Wow, Mrs. F I grew up about 20 minutes from Medford and live not much further now. So cool.

This all so interesting to read. I had the persistent nausea with E. I seriously ate nothing but cheese for 4 months straight. Then I ended up with pre-e (unrelated to the cheese, I"m sure). Now you've given me a second reason to not have a second kid! Oy.

If I weren't so tired I'm sure I'd come up with something to ask... as it is I'm having fun reading. thanks for indulging everyone.

Mrs. Furious said...

Julie & Torey,
I had Zofran (chemo drug)... not one bit of difference for me :( So I didn't keep taking it.
I'll be back I've got to go film a food segment.

Justin said...

Hey there Mrs. F. It's Justin your overly friendly server from Kruse & Muer! Just thought I'd check out your wondrous blog and see how you're doing. Work is going great but how are you? I'm looking forward to seeing you again soon. You should stop on by!

Mrs. Furious said...

Julie,
yeah I had bad time in labor with Kid. 2 weeks overdue then I got kidney stones WHILE I was in labor. Then I labored for 30 hours until my cervix started closing back up on Kid. Turned out she was over 9 lbs and had a huge head and was turned sideways and was never coming out. Of course... we had done Bradley and had a crazy birth plan and thought we were having a natural childbirth... that did not happen. I was on morphine for the kidney stones ASAP I thought I was going to die.
Baby I was going to VBAC if she came before her due date. She didn't. The planned was actually kind of terrifying since I knew what I was going in for... hard to explain. Turned out my uterus was fused to my abdomen and if I had labored it could have been a terrible emergency.
my theory is short people weren't meant to have kids ;)

Torey said...

Um. . .hello! Your waiter just showed up!!

How awesome is that????


Sorry about your birth experiences. U of M or St. J?

Mrs. Furious said...

Justin,
I love you. H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S. I checked out your movie. You had a disappointingly small roll.... I was really hoping for more of a "starring" roll to tell you the truth.
I'll have to come in with the kids sometime. Lord knows Kid loves the bread.
I'm hoping you have NOT taken anymore late night phone calls from the ex. Trust me on that one.

Mrs. Furious said...

Torey,
See he really is friendly... I didn't make it up!

St Joes. I used the midwives that practice there.

Heather said...

I can't stop laughing about Justin posting. My stomach hurts from laughing. Seriously, hilarious!

Hi Justin!

moley said...

Hi Mrs F,

It's 11.30 pm over here and I've just finished one set of accounts. Let's say major procrastination and every year the same thing!

What an interesting post! Way to go on breast feeding after a c-section. I worked in a maternity unit for a couple of years and I know how hard that is!

I had a failed ventouse and then forceps delivery in theatre with Hetty which was absolutely horrendous, but I was so thankful that I didn't have a section. Still I had my planned home water birth with Mr Bumble. Absolutely, bloody wonderful!!!

Anyway enough of me, my question is: did you and Mr F ever do any adventure sports?

Mrs. Furious said...

Heather,
I know. I can't believe it. I'm going to have to go back now and take a video of him.

Mrs. Furious said...

Moley,
Adventure sports? Like what?

Mr F went sky diving once.
I ran from an armed gunman.... but that's it for serious adventure.

Mrs. Furious said...

Torey,
forgot your other question.

I have to say there is nothing negative that I've done that I thought I wouldn't. I'm crazy convicted style so I don't go back on much once I commit to it.
I did not however go into parenting thinking I would breastfeed Kid for 3.5 years or co-sleep. But they were natural things for me to do so I did.

moley said...

I dunno - skiing, mountain climbing or some such? Mr Mole and I met at the scuba diving club at uni. We were both instructors and used to have a dream of running our own diving centre somewhere hot.

Anonymous said...

Will you ever post a fried bagels recipe?

P.O.M. said...

Crap, I don't really have a question. Just wanted to say hi. This is some interesting stuff and you must get a video of Justin.

By the way, yes, the Captain is a real Captain and brings home fresh fish alot :) It's cool. He even cleans them - very sexy with a knife.

Mrs. Furious said...

Alexis,
laugh out loud (spelled out). I should I totally should. I'll have to go stock up on the Lender's first.



Moley,
no I'm actually somewhat afraid of large bodies of water and sharks so no scuba diving... plus I'm claustrophobic so I get really panic stricken when things cover my nose and mouth.
Mr F did the sky diving and that's about it. He used to ski. I have only been cross country skiing.
Mr F and I dream of sitting on our front porch eating baked goods and listening to a police scanner.

Mrs. Furious said...

P.O.M.,
Hey.
I don't really know what I thought "captain" meant or why it would be a nickname but I assure you the thought that he might actually be a captain NEVER crossed my mind!

Mrs. Furious said...

okay I'm running out ... be back in a bit.

moley said...

Mr F and I dream of sitting on our front porch eating baked goods and listening to a police scanner. LOL

I must admit it would be nice to have a front porch, but you're on your own with the police scanner :-)

As you mentioned your encounter with the armed gunman (scary!) I've got a really political question, but feel free to ignore if you want: what do you think can be done about America's gun problem? Would you want them banned?

Perhaps this is more Mr F's field? Talking of Mr F do you read or comment on his blog?

Kid Art said...

Hi Justin!

OK Mrs F, my question is about NY - did you live in Park Slope the entire time you were there?

I also lived in NY - West Village and Carroll Gardens (Brooklyn).

Do you miss it? For some time after we left I felt compelled to keep our possessions/furniture to "NY apartment" scale. Just in case. : )

Emily

michelline said...

This is really a great idea, Mrs F.
It's fun to read all the comments.

And I had PNV too. The whole 9 months.

I was sick the whole 9 months for Daughter 1 as well. I think I threw up in EVERY parking lot in Jacksonville. And in every single bathroom in the malls. Even those not available for public usage :) Whoever called that particular disability morning sickness should be shot. Then I was diagnosed with insulin dependent gestational diabetes. ugh. That was NO fun. I ended up losing a lot of weight during that pregnancy. The week before I delivered, I was actually 7 pounds under the weight for my first ob visit. I remember they served mimosas and a wonderful cake at my baby shower and I couldn't have any of it! And then Daughter 1 had hiccups for the last 2 months... If I wasn't throwing up, I was peeing because her head kept hitting my bladder. I had to give up and just wear pads. ugh again :)

I went into labor with Daughter 1 at 2:22AM. Delivered at 7:24AM. (evidently I'm built for birthing babies). By 7:45 my aunt had Dunkin Donuts delivered to my room as a treat for me and my deliver team because I was dying for a chocolate donut and the doctors and nurses had been wonderful at putting up with me. I have a wonderful family, LOL.

Mrs. Furious said...

Emily,
When I was at NYU undergrad I lived in a couple parts of the village. East village, sketchy soho area, etc. And I lived in Carroll Gardens on 2nd Place for a year and then Park Slope.


be back

Shirls said...

I find it very interesting that you felt (feel) some social pressure to have more children. Try being married for 15 years and not having kids, the things you hear about that choice!

My hubby and I have made a very thought-out choice not to have children, we were talking about it the other day, how I get comments all the time about being "selfish" and he never does, for some reason other "ladies" find it perfectly alright to bash me and our choice but he doesn't hear it...

can you believe that I get "selfish"? I think its more selfish to have a child and not spend the time you should on being a parent because it was not your choice in the first place instead society's pressure on you to have the child.. that is selfish, having a child because some 'society' deems you should and then not raising that child with your all

I think if you step up and choose to be a parent, you are a parent for life, there are no breaks, no time outs, you choose it, now you need to do it with everything you've got, I don't have that in me (trust me I know I was a full time nanny for over 5 years, 80+ hours a week, I think I knew more about kids than any first time mom, I love them, love being around them, I just can't be a parent) but you both obviously do, which is why couples like you should have kids :0) anyway just my little rant about the matter..

Mrs. Furious said...

Emily,
I absolutely miss it. I think I was never more comfortable in my own skin as I was in NY. Totally my style ... brooklyn more so. LOVED IT. But it is draining after awhile... my career choice didn't help in that department. We'd go back.



Moley,
I read Mr F's blog when I get a chance. Not everyday! Hey I'm busy over here. I comment when he says something funny enough to deserve a little nod from the Mrs.

re: Politics
I do have strong political beliefs. But I won't ever go into on the blog (I think). Mr F and I agree on most things.... but I am a different person and I don't usually participate in political discussion other than with Mr F or my mom. I am a good social worker because I get it... I get the other side. I get that your upbringing and life experience and social influences and economic status and education dictate your political beliefs. I don't need to agree with someone and I don't need for them to agree with me. I also don't assume everyone who doesn't see "the truth" (my way) is an idiot (although some are). Because I don't know all my readers I try to shy away from conflict laden topics... this is especially hard for me when addressing my parenting choices but I try. I don't ever want to offend anyone. Politics is personal. Believe me I have my opinions and can have a strong persuasive power over Mr F even at times (and by at times I mean at ALL times). But I don't talk politics. It annoys me. I get agitated with people who are so fiercely passionate about wanting change, needing change, and all they do is gab at the mouth. If you aren't out there actually making change I don't really want to hear about it (and by this I mean more than voting). Mr F knows where I stand. He is also secretly trying to groom me for political office ;)

Mrs. Furious said...

Shirls,
I'm with you. I love to hear people don't want kids. I think more people SHOULDN'T. I just think it is bad ass when someone knows themselves and is fulfilled by their life choices. Having children does not define the human experience. It is hard freaking work and if I couldn't commit to doing it with every fiber of myself 24/7 I wouldn't do it. #2 reason we aren't having more.

Mrs. Furious said...

Michelline,
oh lord Baby's head was on my bladder the whole time... I had to wear pads too. I was terrified she might have caused permanent damage!... thankfully not!!!

megO said...

TARGET IS COMING TO ALASKA.

I REPEAT: TARGET IS COMING TO ALASKA.

I know that's not a question, but it's the best thing that's happened since they built the pipeline & we all started getting oil checks...

Okay here is a question:

What was the best thing that ever happened at DCDS?

Target Forever!
~m

Deb said...

I had performance anxiety!! I said that!! (Wait... did you not recognize me, because I wasn't logged in as Deb? Noo.. you're smarter than that.)

Okay, if I got Mr. F a really kickass job at Fallon or someplace equally cool like that, could I convince you guys to move to the Twin Cities? For the past two years, I have been mulling over an idea for a mom center that would provide lactation consulting, massage, childcare, early childhood education from social workers, psychologists who specialize in life transitions, etc. That first year KICKED MY ASS, and I needed help. Just a thought. You could stay in my decrepit mansion until you found a place.

Okay, okay...

How has your childhood affected your parenting? Have you made conscious decisions to go against your natural grain (i.e., "not like my parents did)? If so, what kind of things are you doing differently and do you sometimes find yourself slipping into family habits? What about Mr. F?

Is there anything from your childhoods that you would duplicate for your kids if you could (or that you try to duplicate)?

Pregnancy issues aside, do you think having two kids is better for the kids? Or would Kid been just as happy as an only?

I have not seen evidence of Canine's existence recently. Did you send him to a "farm"? When we will get his full history?

Kiki said...

What occupation,other than SAHM and Social Worker, would you like to attempt??? If you could live anywhere...where?

Amy said...

Go to bed! You've had a busy blogging day!

Mr Furious said...

Okay, if I got Mr. F a really kickass job at Fallon or someplace equally cool like that, could I convince you guys to move to the Twin Cities?

Nah, prefer non-agency*. just get me the job I interviewed for two years ago...Art Director for METRO: Twin Cities Metropolitan magazine...

We did a home search and everything. If I recall, we liked St Paul, specifically Saint Anthony Park.

*Like I can be picky! If the $$$ is right, we're there! Yes, Mish, maybe even FLA.

Gigs said...

Sorry, just need to add my PNV experience too! I have horrible memories of laying on the couch for five months, with a home nurse stopping by to change my IVs and several ER visits - one on Valentine's day. Constant vomiting. I lost 26 pounds during my first trimester. SO scary during your first pregnancy. I remember crying and telling my husband, "I just can't do this". Awful. I think during the second pregnancy I somehow knew I'd get through it because I got through it the first time. But the worst part of my pregnancy was all the normal testing they do - all of mine came back with things skewed toward the baby having some type of birth defect. However, both of my children are perfectly fine and healthy, so that was a lot of unnecessary worry added into the equation. They also were both over month premature. Good thing those boys are worth it!

Oh, and I wanted to say something on the "two kids the same sex" thing. I thought both of my children would be girls when I was pregnant, and I was wrong both times - so much for intuition! I think you always think you want one of each, but I was always happy that my first son got a brother - that's a great relationship. I wouldn't trade my guys for anything, ever.

eurydice said...

100th comment! LOL

Mrs. Furious said...

Meg O,
I am so excited for you I can't even stand it! That will surely be one of the greatest days of your life!!!

best DCDS moment? I think the Yellowstone trip.
thing I think about most? (with regret) Tripping Steve.




Deb,
Oh I knew it was you.
When Mr F interviewed there before we were really excited about moving to the Twin Cities. #1 we are city people #2 decrepit mansions #3 waldorf schools.

Okay the meaty stuff:
How has your childhood affected your parenting? Have you made conscious decisions to go against your natural grain (i.e., "not like my parents did)? If so, what kind of things are you doing differently and do you sometimes find yourself slipping into family habits? What about Mr. F?
YES. I don't spank my kids. I don't have affairs. I don't do drugs and/or have drug parties where weirdos show up with guns and your children have to hide. I have stayed married. Most everything is different ;) I don't emotionally ignore or abuse my kids. I respect their feelings. I don't project my own issues onto them (too much). I put my kids happiness FIRST.
Things I do that are bad family habits... threaten to divorce Mr F when he pisses me off (not in front of the kids). I am controlling too independent (helps if you might have to divorce your husband when you get mad).

Is there anything from your childhoods that you would duplicate for your kids if you could (or that you try to duplicate)?
Making stockings. gingerbread houses and other crafty traditions. Going to amusement parks and letting the kids get all the expensive food they want.

Pregnancy issues aside, do you think having two kids is better for the kids? Or would Kid been just as happy as an only?
This is a toughie. I don't in anyway want to influence other people's choice. Kid is happier. She was happy before but she modeled her behavior on adults and she had nearly as much power. Now she is more childlike and enjoys (thoroughly) the adoration on Baby. The power dynamic as also shifted and she isn't a mini-adult as much. For us this was a good balancing choice. But having said that I think our age difference is key in Kid's happiness and acceptance of Baby without feeling trumped.

I have not seen evidence of Canine's existence recently. Did you send him to a "farm"? When we will get his full history?
sweet jesus I wish he was at a "farm"! I got him as a puppy in Brooklyn about 4 months before I met Mr F. We met through our dogs. Canine was practically famous on the streets of our old hood cause he is so freaking attractive. But he is not well trained... I'm not sure any of his breed are!

Mrs. Furious said...

Kiki,
I have wanted to go back to school to get my doctorate in education and be a principal. I also of course think I would be a great CIA operative.
Of course now that I'm doing my food segments I think I should get my own show!

Deb said...

Good for you for saving the divorce threats for nap time! I try to keep those until after dark, as well.

The single versus multiple kids thing is something I survey everyone about. I promise you won't exercise undue influence on my decision. :)

I'm not sure I have any sway on the city magazines, but I'll see what I can do. SAP is a lovely area, but given that you've lived in cities before and you'd be transplants (from what I've seen, heard and experienced, transplants don't do so well in St. Paul), I suspect Minneapolis is more your speed. Plus, there's a Trader Joe's AND a Whole Foods.

Thanks for being such a good sport about all the nosey questions!

Mrs. Furious said...

Deb,
I debated the more kids thing for a long time. It became consuming and at a certain point just having another was easier than second guessing myself 24/7. I just didn't have a model of single kid family and really REALLY everyone here is popping 'em out like it is nobodies business. I don't get it. More than two and someone would end up dead (Mr F) so we're stopping there for that reason as well.

P.O.M. said...

Hi again.
After reading about your childhood, just wanted to let you know that it sounds like we went through some similar experiences. Hence the reason I don't really talk about my mother online.

Mrs. Furious said...

P.O.M.,
yeah that is hard for me too since she does read it. Not that any of this is news to her but I don't really want to upset her she didn't do it all intentionally, and we do deal with it face to face. I think she doesn't know how to read the comments... so I usually feel more comfortable letting lose over here... but I don't know that for sure. ;)
And I'm sorry for you too... childhood should be less stressful.

Mrs. Furious said...

P.O.M.
I should note the drug party w/ gun was my dad and not my mom.... not that her choices were much better! But hey he let us have sugar cereal so it was all okay in the end... right?!?

moley said...

no I'm actually somewhat afraid of sharks so no scuba diving... plus I'm claustrophobic so I get really panic stricken when things cover my nose and mouth

Sharks! Oh god Jaws has got a lot to answer for. Biggest shark I've ever seen was a 2ft long dog fish. I'm also claustrophobic but strangely scuba gear has never bothered me. My mum won't have a mask on her face either and thinks we are completely mad.

But I don't talk politics. Fair enough!

I also don't assume everyone who doesn't see "the truth" (my way) is an idiot (although some are). LOL

And finally, I know it's a day late, but is this the largest number of comments you've got for a post?

Mrs. Furious said...

moley,
still terrified of sharks even if it is irrational... and rats!

yes this is the largest number of comments. Interestingly I didn't have anymore hits than usual though.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I know I'm late but I was wondering if you and Mr. F ever call each other by your "internet hanldes" IRL?

By accident OR on purpose?

Caren

Mrs. Furious said...

Caren,
no actually we haven't done that yet. I do sometimes slip after blogging all day and refer to the kids as "kid" and "baby" when talking to him or friends. It is hard for me not to refer to him as "Mr F" to friends in that same way... but not to his face... not yet anyway! ;) I"m always waiting for someone to meet me and ask me my name and slip and say "Mrs F". I feel like we are them more than we are our real selves anymore!

moley said...

still terrified of sharks even if it is irrational... and rats!

Really - I love rats. Well the fancy pet ones anyway They make lovely companions - sitting on your shoulder eating chocolate. If the dog wasn't such a demon chaser I'd get one like a shot. For now she has to content herself with chasing the chickens.

yes this is the largest number of comments. Interestingly I didn't have anymore hits than usual though.

That is interesting - so you must normally have lots of lurkers.

I do sometimes slip after blogging all day and refer to the kids as "kid" and "baby"

I get told off for calling my son Mr Bumble, although it's been his nickname since he was about 2. He's too big now he says!

Mrs. Furious said...

Moley,
Oh Jesus... I have a severe rodent phobia... seriously debilitating.. I is actually hard for me to even read what you wrote about it. That was the number one problem for me when I lived in NYC.

I have no way to know how many lurkers I have. I guess I have my regular commenters and it seems once people out themselves they are fairly regular and comment frequently but I have no way to know if I have 100 readers that come 10 times a day or more that come fewer. I have a stat counter but it turns over faster than that so I can't really track it more than that nor do I want to get to obsessed trying to figure it all out! But yes either way I must have a fair amount of lurkers.

moley said...

Okay sorry, I didn't realise you were that bad. I won't mention them again. It's slugs with me - yuck!

How are you with chickens?

Mrs. Furious said...

Moley,
rodents are pretty much my one serious issue. Obviously sharks.. but I don't have to come in contact so that's not a big deal.
Bugs, spiders, no problem.
I don't LOVE birds but I'm not afraid of them. We raised animals growing up and had chickens. My mom has chickens now too

moley said...

I don't LOVE birds but I'm not afraid of them.

No I'm never been a huge bird fan, but we got some chickens last October for the kids and I'm quite entranced with them. We've got 2 cream legbars and 3 bantams and they are so endearing. The bantams in particular are very friendly and have got such huge personalities.

Mrs. Furious said...

Moley,
I enjoy Bantams myself.

Deb said...

Birds... icky. Their scaly little feet give me the creeps. Put some lotion on those things already!!

Nutmeg said...

I'm an entomologist, so I'm okay with bugs (the crunchy variety, I hate the squishy types)... but birds (really just song birds) freak me out also.

michelline said...

I"m always waiting for someone to meet me and ask me my name and slip and say "Mrs F". I feel like we are them more than we are our real selves anymore!

We've met them in RL and we still call then Mr. and Mrs. F, although we have an easier time with Mr. F's name :)

Your online names are just so cool, Mrs. F.

Mrs. Furious said...

nutmeg,
you would love our dining room... vintage bug prints and I have bugs on our fancy fancy china.



Michelline,
Well that makes perfect sense. It's like growing up with a Bobby next door and then having him come back from college a Robert... he'll always be Bobby to you.

Mary said...

OK -- one last question (from me, anyway) -- do you find yourself censoring your thoughts/writing since you know that your mom and other people are reading your blog? Do you ever worry that you're revealing too much? I'm a pretty private person, so I'm not sure I could be as open as you are. (Don't get me wrong -- I admire your openness and am a big fan!)

Mrs. Furious said...

Mary,
good questions.

yes I censor myself (as surprising as that might seem to people). My family reads it, my neighbors, Mr F and his family too. I once wrote about my in-laws and that caused some problems with my sister-in-laws so I haven't written about them again. I try to still be as open as possible and I will be more open in the comments it seems less aggressive in a way.
But for example there are two things going on in my extended family that I am NOT writing about as fascinating as they might be.

As for being open. I'm this open. If you met me in the grocery store I would share this much detail if the conversation deemed it appropriate. I have private stuff but not much. I believe in being open and to me the point of "life" is to make relationships and I find it difficult to do that on a superficial level (almost to a fault actually). I think also due to my childhood I crave closeness and have always found being open has drawn people to me. Now having said all that Mr F can attest I am in some ways pretty emotionally closed to those who are closest to me. I'm very emotionally empathetic (hence my career choice) and have an easy time relating to someone's personal hardships but because I didn't feel safe as a kid I don't allow myself to get as vulnerable as I think other people feel comfortable being around me. Make any sense? I'm still very protective of my emotional involvement with people... being open about the "facts" of your life isn't the same as being emotionally available. But I'm open about that too I guess....

Mary said...

Thanks, Mrs. F. Yes, that makes perfect sense. Well said, and thanks for your honesty!

Mrs. Furious said...

Mary,
no problem :)

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