Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Big One

After a short hypothesis that Canine should get married and have puppies because he came back from his new groomer looking like a "girl poodle"...

Kid went on to ask this terrifying question:

"Mom why do you have to be married to have kids?"

Ever truthful and concise (as is my parenting style) I responded "You don't" hoping that that surprising revelation would keep her from asking the REALLY BIG QUESTION.

"You don't have to be married to have kids... lets see... who do we know that has kids but isn't married?" I continued.

Surprisingly we don't really know anyone so that didn't pan out quite like I would have liked.

"Helena" Kid offered.

Helena is 5... "no Helena doesn't have kids... and her mom is married... remember her dad is David?" I remind her.

"Well maybe that's her stepdad." Kid offered... slightly more worldly since starting Kindergarten.

"No that's her regular dad. Well, either way, you don't have to be married but only mom's can grow babies in their tummies... men tummies can't grow a baby, they are made differently" I clarify hoping that she doesn't ask me how they got in there in the first place.

"Well... except God. He made the first people remember? Adam & Eve? He made them out of dirt." Kid interrupts.

"Oh... yeah... except for God."


Haley said...

Now, I'm trying for the life of me to remember when I discovered the existance of penises...? Huh. No clue.

Julie said...

She really has the whole religion thing down. It is so funny especially since I know you are not particularly religious. I love it.

Mrs Furious said...

it's funny because when she started with the "well" I had no idea where she was going with it then I was like "oh... here we go again". She just learned that whole Adam & Eve stuff from obsessively watching the trailer for that Sight & Sound stage show.

well Kid has long been a little too aware of penises. She's big on the trying to spy on Mr F while he pees and saying something like "I can see your penis lump"... so I'm particularly not looking forward to telling her what it's for!
My dad was kind of a nighttime nudist ... so I'd seen me plenty of penis before I knew what it was for. Thanks for that Dad...

Torey said...

Nightime nudist. . teehee!

Well. . .We weren't married when we got pregnant with Guppy. Does that help your scenario out?

I have no idea how I found out about penises. I had a lot of male friends when I was little, and I remember knowing that they didn't have to wipe after they peed. I was aware of that when I was very young. . .hm. . .interesting.

Penis lump, eh? Mr. F, I never noticed! ; )

Mary Poppins said...

Tell her that the bible says that Eve was made out of one of Adam's ribs. She'll love that.
Maybe Kid should be the one to receive the mormons when they arrive.

michelline said...

Libby discovered the existence of penises very early on. When she was 4, she said "Mommy, do you know my fondest dream?" Me: No. Libby: To have a penis. Will you call me Jacob. Me: GAH!!! No, I will NOT call you Jacob. Elizabeth is a beautiful name for a beautiful little girl.

This continued until she was 8 1/2. Sob. However, she is now happy to be a girl again :)

Andrea said...

Im am laughing so hard my two year is concerned standing here asking me whats wrong, and here I thought I was the only one to teach my child correct anatomy of course she still says enis and gina but hell shes 2.

Preppy Mama said...

Oh that is just too precious!! I can't wait to see what the questions are like in a year or two!!
BTW, just got back from Target and bought two pairs of those loafers...they feel like Butter!!!!
Thanks for the fashion tip!!

Missives From Suburbia said...

It's things like this that remind me I lived in San Francisco for SO long that it has tainted my entire world view. My first instinct when I put myself in your shoes a few years from now? To point out same-sex couples that I know who are raising kids.

Congratulations on avoiding the penis discussion for a bit longer.

Mrs Furious said...

Oh we covered gay relationships a long time ago. But I still referred to it as "women can marry women and men can marry men".... so she still associates having kids with marriage. I was kind of hoping by the time she was getting married same sex marriage would really be legal everywhere when I said that.
While there are lots of lesbian couples here... there were more with kids in AA... we don't know any gay couples here with kids plus I think for a 5 year old understanding "marriage" vs commitment is too complicated. What she meant was why do you need to be in a relationship to have a baby.
Oh it's tricky stuff when you're trying to avoid discussing sex...

Kiki said...

Since my mom comments here, I'm not saying anything...but penis talk might make her nervous (even though she's way open minded)and maybe she'll avoid commenting at all. It's a toss up....

Mrs Furious said...

Yeah let's just say seeing a naked man was not a shock ;)

the missionaries are not as "go get 'em" as I had hoped...

I just can't get past:
""Mommy, do you know my fondest dream?" "

we use the right terms & also "g" for vagina... who knows why... but we've been known to say "geez put on your underwear people are over and they don't need to see your g!" ;)

Preppy Mama,
You are welcome! :)

lol... I'm with your mom

Gigs said...

Interesting discussion to me because my husband's cousin (42 and single) is due with her first baby this December. Kevin asked "I thought you had to be married..." (and he's almost 10!). Factual answers always seem best. No, you don't have to be married, but you do have to be ready to parent a child etc., etc. We've already had conversations about the mechanics of sex... and same sex relationships. He saw the People cover with "the pregnant man", so we talked about what that really was too. It can get complicated, but being open seems to be the key. And I know you are!

michelline said...

""Mommy, do you know my fondest dream?" "

Her words! I swear! That's why I remember them exactly. You can't make this stuff up, LOL.

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