Monday, August 10, 2009

Don't Rain On My Parade

I've been trying to make a video for you all addressing our new life plans... but... I keep going over my alloted 10 minutes. And a nude keeps entering the shot making me have to start over.

Unfortunately I don't have the 4 hours it would take for me to formulate a clear, concise, write up either.

I thought I'd start with my whole thought process but I'm over it. Here is the long and the short of it...

In Spring '10 we are going to put our house up on the market.

Should someone be interested in paying us what we paid then we will sell. We are not in this to make any money... we just don't want to lose any either. At this point because we don't have to move we can take our time. I think even in this market that we should be able to recoup our costs on this house. It's a very nice house with a very nice yard (now fenced) in what is still a very desirable neighborhood (just not to me).

We are then going to RENT a farmhouse with acreage. Or a farmhouse with a little land surrounded by someone else's acreage. We are looking at areas a fair ways out from the Asheville area. Mr F has agreed to commute up to an hour each way (hey we were NYers so really that's nothin'). That distance allows us to get to some pretty beautiful areas which would allow us to draw on the city services (library, park, etc) of another city (Brevard, Waynesville, who knows??) which I may find to be more family oriented. I have always wanted to try living in a more rural setting ever since we left NYC and now is the perfect time to try it. I also look forward to the girls having a lifestyle that allows for more freedom and exploration of nature... and hey being able to see more than 10 stars a night would be good too.

We are also going to homeschool Kid next year. We're finishing out this year (probably) as we've already signed our contracts (and you are legally bound to a full year's tuition) and because Kid is, at this point, expecting it. Homeschooling is something that has been of interest to me (on many fronts) for the last 4 years. I have researched it, thought about it, what if'd it, gone to curriculums... and well... I have never stopped wanting to try it. When I imagine my *perfect* ideal life I always imagine that I'd be homeschooling. I think it will be a better fit for our family and I am very excited to move forward and finally do it.

Both of these changes take us from netting about $50 a month after our living/schooling expenses to being able to save close to TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS A YEAR. Seriously folks it's a no brainer. Even if it turns out we don't like rural life (rental remember) or that homeschooling isn't a good fit we can always put Kid back in her current school... and that one year off will have given us a decent savings fund.

I'm incredibly excited and nervous about the year to come. And that is a GOOD thing. That means I'm taking chances and risking failure in the pursuit of happiness. That means I'm challenging myself and listening to myself and believing in myself.

I don't want to live my life with these dreams and what ifs floating around only to miss my opportunity at being fulfilled in my everyday life.

And that's not even counting the financial turn around. I can't even begin to imagine what it will be like not to have to worry so much about our grocery bill, gas, utilities, mortgage... not to have everything be so down to the wire.

So that's it in a nutshell.

Oh and I also want to adopt... but... we'll need that 20 grand first.


BsOnlyToots said...

WOW! That sounds completely AWESOME! Perfect, fun, exciting ... and all those other great words!! I would LOVE too move out of the city and be alone, but still close enough to use the city! hehe

Torey said...

I'm so happy for you!
Do you want me to ask the in-laws about areas down there?

They also own some rentals in Celo NC which is about 1,5 hours outside of Ashville in the mountains. It's amazingly beautiful, and super rural. Think, no cell service rural. Could Mr. F work from home for a portion of the time?

Kelly said...

I used to live in the Bryson City/Cherokee, NC area and the rural aspect is so wonderful. That's why I hate where I live now, it used to be very rural here, but now developers seem to think that if there is one acre with one tree, they must cut it down and build something. I think you are really going to be happy and at peace once you jump into your decision. Rural living is different, but it is a good different.
PS Let me know what you think about the homeschooling. I have always wanted to do it but i am a little scared to find out if it will work.
Good Luck!

Supermom said...

Awesome Mrs F!!!

This new venture sounds exciting!! I wish you the best!!!!


Staci said...

LOVE THIS! I love the excitement in your words.

I myself am a rural girl. I hope you & the whole family love it. And DAMN on that savings! I would try anything for a year for that much of a savings! :)

GOOD LUCK & I can't wait to follow along on your adventure. :)

PS~Lovin' the blogs new look...& your profile picture. :)

Enjoy your evening!

katieo said...

Sounds like a great plan! I wonder where we'll see the Furious Four in the next two years. Sometimes following your dreams can take you further than you even could imagine and make you happier than you thought possible. EVEN when the dreams don't turn out the way you thought they would. (you = me, of course) But plotting the course is the first step! Way to go Mrs F. It's all very exciting!

"And a nude keeps entering the shot making me have to start over."


Heather said...

Awesome -- Live It, dream it, do it, as I said in my email to you. It may not be MY plan, but it's yours and you're the only one that matters (well and Mr. F, Kid and Baby).

HaleyBird said...

That sounds idyllic! I'm a total country girl. Being able to go to my parents' farm on a regular basis keeps me sane. I see a very rural retirement down the line for me and adam...

The first step in making anything happen is having a clear vision, so you're on your way.

Oh, btw, I got the job!! :)

Elizabeth said...

wow. That's pretty radical. But if not now, when?

It sounds like you've got this pretty well figured out as well.

And hey, my parents tried moving to San Francisco from MI when I was 3-4, I thought it was nifty!

I hope it all works perfectly!

P/F said...

Love it. Love the idea of homeschooling - esp. when it means saving all of that tuition. My son's gifted program ended this year (a year early) and I'm looking at the next year to decide whether or not traditional school or homeschool is a better match for his needs.

Also, we're looking at 2010 as the year of change in our home too. I'm looking more towards (small) city cottage - and major downsizing. If I can't walk there, I don't want to go there, and I can't wait to not have to drive my kids 30 mi. round trip to school.

Jaime (Embracing Balance) said...

Now THERE is the Mrs Furious I remembered reading about a year or so ago! Welcome back. :)

Mrs Furious said...

Thanks. I'm hoping it works out!

No cell might be a bit too far ;)

I might have to check out Cherokee. And agreed I absolutely don't want to be in place that's being developed. I grew up in a rural location that became throughout my childhood just the most developed suburban area you can imagine.


" And DAMN on that savings! "
Word. When I figured that out it's all I can do to just sit still until the spring. But this time I really want to take our time and find the *right* place.

"Sometimes following your dreams can take you further than you even could imagine and make you happier than you thought possible."
That's what I'm hoping for. And I agree... this will just be the beginning and the ending could very well be something I can't even envision now. I'm excited. Who knows maybe I can find a house next door to the Amish (a girl can dream) ;)


Awesome! Congrats!

Ah yes I forgot about your parents sojourn in SF.

I also want to downsize. Our house isn't big but I realize how much time is wasted trying to clean (or being pissed that they're not) rooms we don't fully need/utilize.
" If I can't walk there, I don't want to go there,"
I would love to have a completely walkable lifestyle. That's what I miss most about NY. We tried that here but there just aren't enough services to make it work out. Plus I hate what I have to look at while I'm getting there ;) I hope you find the perfect little cottage!

LOL... yeah... hating your situation can really suck the life force out of ya! But I'm turning it around. Feeling much better and more in control.

inkelywinkely said...

It sounds great! I am so excited for you!!

It is my dream, also, to be out in a rural area, able to connect with whatever creator we believe and to homeschool. I have most of it down....we are still trying to talk the evil ex into homeschooling, but hey, punk is 6, so pretty soon, he can decide what he wants.

It really is nice being on your own schedule and not having to push yourself so hard to match up to others so that you or your child doesnt feel left out like in life with school and everything.

You really can't imagine how free we are here without clocks running our lives, being able to just send punky man out to run over the acreage, going wherever he wants, doing whatever he wants. He doesn't need our constant supervision, he is learning to be more independent...and honestly, if you keep Ruby at home for a bit,you could atleast slow down the growing up process a tad. :D

Think about it, others will be having sassy kids thinking they are grown and you will have a respectful country kid who still likes dress up. LOL

I really think I am just as excited over this as you you know what kind of homeschooling you want to do? Would kid be best at being "instructed" like in regular school, or do yuo think she would learn better in a more laid back setting- or even an unschooling setting? I really would like to see where you go with this, and I just KNOW you will be successful.

julie said...

That is a great plan. Kind of similar to what we have been trying to do here with a move to Vermont. That's on hold because we just remembered that one of us has to work and a 3 hour commute one way is just a bit much;) But Tom did say he'd commute 2 hours one way so we'll see. We are always plotting our move to the mountains.

Homeschooling is a good choice when you go rural. The schools are not going to be on par with what you are used to in a lot of areas. There just is not the money. That is what we struggle with our move. The places we can afford comfortably don't have schools as well rated as the more expensive areas. I will not homeschool. It is not for me. Doing homework with Murphy is not an easy or enjoyable task. I'd homeschool someone else's children before I would my own. I'm just sayin.

Totally go for it with your plans! Things are so much easier when the kids are young. It gets more complicated as they get older. That is another thing we struggle with. I am so afraid I will totally mess up my kids' lives if we end up living in a van down by the Vermont though;)

Also try not to romanticize the move too much in your head. I speak from experience. Actually, I am probably speaking to myself. You know--when things don't seem to work out or be like what it was like in your head. Also, things like 'where is the closest supermarket?' is really important. Believe me, having to drive a half hour to an hour back roads to go to the supermarket gets old really fast. You can order anything else online.

I live in a semi-rural place and am trying to move to the mountains in Vermont so I have put a lot of thought into what I know I need to be happy when I am trying to simplify. There are some things I am not willing to give up.

Also, just a heads up...not sure if it makes a difference for you or not, but just be aware that rural in some parts of the country also means not very liberal socially and politically. Then again, I am from Massachusetts so anything outside of my enclave is not liberal enough for me;)

With the exception of Vermont of course.

Just come on up here and move into a big old farmhouse in Vermont with us:) You can homeschool my kids.

btw our vacation was fantastic...except for a few moments. The ride up or rather all of the moments up until we left was pretty ridiculous. At some point I will blog about it. I am just too busy staying up way too late so I am absolutely exhausted in the morning when the kids start fighting/playing at the crack of I haven't had time to blog. Plus I will officially stop eating like I am on vacation still tomorrow morning. I ate all of the leftover snacks.

PS the blog looks great! Love the updated look.

julie said...

oh shit, I think I just posted my blog entry into your comments. Sorry to bore anyone!

inkelywinkely said...

I just thought of you this morning, girl. :)

I was watching our realestate channel- it's a habit- and I saw houses that were out of our price range, but waaaay below the price of that cabin..One cam up that was REALLY nice, had pictures of it now and back right after civil war days which was cool. It had 9.5 acres with fruit orchards on the land and a big old barn and a new metal workshop and all kinds of mess..and when I saw the price, I said, "I HAVE to tell Mrs F!"...It was newly listed at , get this, 140,000.LOL.

I said, she is gonna shit bricks. :)

Oh, and out here there are no "rural" schools..LOL..There are very few schools, and kids have long bus rides. :)

inkelywinkely said...

oh...just to make you see just how low price of living and such is around here...look at this one and tell me if you have seen anyhting like this in the cities you have lived in. :)

inkelywinkely said...

Here... I want you to drool.

log cabin..4 bed, 3 bath... 13 acres..2800 sq feet of living space..fireplaces...two story...with pond on the land...

That is about 7-8 minutes out of town...that means, you are really rural, but far enough out that it is not a huge trip to go into town for the evening. :)

Wishing you could find prices like that there?

Mr Furious said...

Schooling -- Since the chances of Kid ever getting into the charter school we like are slim-to-none, homeschooling seems like our best option.

It's not just a disparity between rich/poor communities with public schools either. There's plenty of money in Asheville, it's just skewed towards older people who seem to have control and no interest in providing services for families and kids—schools, pools and parks are not even good or nice by North Carolina standards. And I'll be honest here, folks, as snobby as it might sound—I'm not sure we'll find a public school down here ANYWHERE we really like. Mrs F spent many years in private school and I had the good fortune to attend public schools in two of the very best districts in the country. That sets a high bar.

Even in "good" schools these days, I don't think it's the way it was when I was a kid. Overcrowded classes, weird FEMA trailer rooms, slashed funding, too much teaching to the tests, to much pressure on educators to push kids through and maintain statistics and standards. "No Child Left Behind" is the biggest scam ever.

I have two sisters who are/were public elementary school teachers—one was in the elementary school I attended—and I'm not sure I like what I here about schools now from that side either.

North Carolina laid off 6,000 teachers statewide this year. Asheville stopped hiring and fired all first-year teachers from last year, PLUS slashed funding. I'm supposed to get motivated to send my kids into that?

Fuck that.

(NOTE: Don't try to convince Mrs F and I otherwise on that front—it won't work)

City vs. Rural-- Mrs F has the rural/farm dream waaay more than I do. But she has ever since I've known her. This is not a reaction to Asheville. This happening now is just a moment of opportunity.

Do I enjoy being able to be at my office (and back home) in under ten minutes by car and 15-20 by bike? Yes. And I suspect Mrs F will miss that more than she realizes, too. I like our house more, and dislike Asheville less than Mrs F, and could stay, but I have something extra-family making me happy and fulfilled every day (my job) and Mrs F doesn't. We're here because of my job and the opportunity to try something new.

It isn't working.

While I love my job, the company has been unable to live up to its commitments to me. I will leave if that doesn't change, if the right opportunity came. But the realistic part of me knows that could be YEARS.

That's too much / too long to ask Mrs F to suffer in a place that genuinely gets her down.

Torey said...

Mr. F rocks for supporting Mrs. F the way she needs! Way to go!

julie said...

Mr F, agreed on the school front.

That really is a shame that the older affluent in your area do not support the younger generation.

I really wanted this move to work out for you guys. It was such a big move and held such promise. It inspired me to start planning our move (which of course is on hold since the whole financial picture plummeted last fall.)

Life is too short to feel stuck. I hate that feeling.

Karen said...

That sounds really good Mrs. F. Renting has taken alot of stress off of us. And I love living in the country. I am so jealous of you homeschooling. I wish I could stay home and do that.

Sounds like things are really going to be exciting for the Furious household in this coming year.

Mrs Furious said...

and that's just it. I can't go on feeling the way I do for a couple of YEARS. It makes me less able to be there completely for the kids. At this point even if this new plan sucks... it's a new kind of suck ;)
The rural areas we're looking at are all within 10 minutes of major shopping, town, etc. I still need to be close to a hospital or emergency clinic no matter where we go. But, here, once you get out a bit (even a tiny bit) it is rural really fast.

UM... yeah... I can't find anythig that cheap that isn't a straight up trailer in a trailer park. Totally jealous.
re: homeschooling. I'm not sure just yet. I do think that if you have the time to stick it out unschooling can work... but... if it's not going to work then we'd be setting her up to be too far behind the school system. I'm going to start out with a curriculum and see how it goes to work from that in our own time frame. I'm really excited to be able to go very in depth on things and to take small trips to actually see stuff.

Andrea said...

wow awesome plan, I can feel your excitement in your words. btw adoption v.v. cool since I hate being prego Ive been thinking this might be the way to go in a few years.

Missives From Suburbia said...

I read something recently about playing it safe being the equivalent of death. I like what you're doing, and I can't wait to see it unfold.

Mr Furious said...

The other thing is this...we are living like we're broke. Literally.

The fact that Asheville is so freaking expensive and my income is not what we anticipated is a HUGE factor.

I (and Mrs F somewhat) could tolerate a little blight, etc. if the cost of living was cheap. The fact that shitiness comes at a premium here is a serious problem.

Mrs Furious said...

Mr F,
"The fact that shitiness comes at a premium here is a serious problem."

I'm really looking forward to renting. It has been probably the most difficult thing to let go off (homeownership) although I know that's just social pressure and bad judgement. I've done all the figures and we will be WAY better off renting here than owning. And then in a few years, who knows, we might actually be able to buy house outright. A small house. A very small house ;)

Yeah Mr F could be worse ;)

"I read something recently about playing it safe being the equivalent of death. "
Perfectly put. It is. It kills your damn spirit.

I would really like to adopt. It would take us a couple years to save up the money for it but I'm looking in to it. I'd love to have another kid in between Kid & Baby. They'd love it too.

Amy said...

That is inspiring, really! I've enjoyed your posts lately especially the ones about making the changes in your life that will truly make you happy. I envy the changes you'll be making in the coming year, specifically the moving one. I too have longed for the country - to get out of the 'burbs. And it's a great opportunity right now but for some reason my husband is stagnated. I can't figure it out. I know it's what he wants too. As always, thanks for your inspiring words. And good luck with your plans. They sound well thought out...and responsible.

Dinah Soar said...

Great plan!! It is very freeing to have extra money..even if you don't need it and don't spend's always there. And with the uncertainty about the future U.S. economy--this health care reform is going to affect everything--a cash stash is important. I just read via a woman's magazine that Suzie Orman is saying to stash cash--to have a 2 year emergency fund... in the event you lose your job in this market it will on average take 8 months to find a new job. Since my husband lost his job to downsizing we are well aware of the validity of her advice. Also,...we recently moved back to east TN from middle TN and I now live not far from Asheville! When we moved from east TN to middle, you lived in Michigan and I remember thinking how lucky you were to get to move to the Appalachain mountains...and now, here we (husband and I) are.

Also, you'll do great homeschooling. Homeschooled kids excel--in every stadardized test they perform better. A few have some socialization issues, but that is easily 'fixed'..there are usually groups of homeschoolers that meet monthly to engage in activities tog. You are such an engaged mom that you will make sure your girls are well rounded.

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