I'm having one of those days that feels like I've already lived a whole day by 9 AM.
This week was a lot to chew and I'm happy to find it's Thursday and I only have two more days until we load up in the car and head south for Disney. I'm really excited, and grateful, and not filled with the usual pre-trip anxiety I would normally feel with 2 days to pack and load. I just don't care... I just know that having 9 days of NO work, NO chores, NO babysitting, NO school is going to be great. I'm so glad we are doing this.
Blogger is being slow and annoying for me this morning... so I'm moving on to the the 100 things I'm trying to juggle.
Now for the giveaway. Today I'm doing it a little differently. Today I'm asking that you go back in time... and make me laugh... or cringe... or really, REALLY, be glad I was not in your shoes.
Today I want you to share with me your most embarrassing or awkward family holiday moment (um did I ever tell you that my mom and I accidentally left a casserole on the roof of the car on our way to Thanksgiving... and that it fell off into the road... and that we scooped it back up... AND SERVED IT?... It turns out that (unbeknownst to us I swear!!!) it was full of broken glass.... Did I mention we SERVED IT?!)
So go ahead and share your stories. I will choose a commenter at random and send them a $10 iTunes card. (You thought I forgot about my Your LIfe Sucks Here's Ten Bucks giveaways?... I didn't I just had to postpone this one a little bit... plus I wanted to change it up a bit)
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I can't believe I'm admitting this.
Back in 1994 I was dating this guy who was older than me, but still lived with his parents. (I know, that should have been a clue right there). We went out one night and started getting a little amourous. We couldn't go to my place as I lived with my dad (I had just gotten divorced), nor his place so we decided to park.
Needless to say the mood was instantly killed when a police officer banged on the window while we were in the midst of um, well you get it.
The only thing that made it worse is that the guy made no effort to cover himself while talking to the officer through the window.
*Scurries off to hide head in shame*
Okay, I've got one toooo. ~hanging head~
I was recently divorced and trying out Match.com. I started talking to an attractive man in emails. Which led to phone calls. Late one night I mentioned something going on in my life.
That's when HE realized HE KNEW ME. The older handsome man I was dying to meet was my DADS FIRST COUSIN!!!!!! The one I haven't seen since I was a CHILD!!!!
So, I guess there went that relationship!
Okay, MATCH you SUCK!
Ah... the captain and I did the same thing last new years. He made this big casserole thing. I had set a martini glass (typical me)on the fridge. He opened the fridge and the glass fell, broke and landed IN the casserole. We served it anyway.
I do so many stupid things, it's hard to pick just one.
At my old job, we used AOL Instant Message all the time. My boss was a total bitch and one day she made me super mad. SO I meant to IM to my friend BUT I sent "She is such a a fucking bitch" to my boss instead. Right when I hit "Send" i knew I screwed up. I tried to run to her desk to delete it but it was too late. She saw it and said "if you have a problem with me we need to discuss it privately."
MORTIFIED.
This is going to be the most fun giveaway yet!
Smoochie,
mortifying
Supermom,
That is hilarious
P.O.M.,
Oh God. Everyone's worst fear. I cannot tell you how many times I've sent a gossipy email and then had to double check my sent mail to make sure I hadn't inadvertently sent it to the wrong person!
This is sort of secret family embarrassment because no one noticed.
The thanksgiving turkey was sitting on the counter, warming up before it was tossed in the oven. We were running around doing other things when we turned around and our cat was on the counter eating the turkey. He had gotten through a good quarter of a cup size chunk before we came back in the room. My mom sewed up the skin over the would, and put it in the oven. It was gloriously beautiful when it came out and those in the know gave wary glances to eachother as everyone passed the plate of turkey. Or the christmas cookies that had no flour in them. Or the pie that had cigarette ashes fall into it.
The funniest story (one that captures just how ornery my grandmother was) involved Christmas dinner, what was to be my grandmother's last. We all mostly knew it and so she had indicated she wanted to celebrate christmas with lobster. So my brother buys some really amazing lobster tails from the insanely fancy restaurant he worked at. Brought them home we broiled them, had drawn butter, presented them how the chef had shown him how to do. It was delicious and we sat around after dinner talking and we said.. "How did you like the lobster granma, you said you wanted lobster so we got you some for your christmas dinner." She replied, "Well it was really delicious and really nice... but I kind of wanted a whole lobster! I wanted to rip the legs off the suckers"
Most awkward, was when my grandmother didn't make it to the next christmas, but she made it long enough to tell my grandfather what to buy for everyone (probably in september) and then on christmas day he handed out the gifts and they all said, "From grandma and grandpa" And we all were all made uncomfortable by the ghost who suddenly showed up.
But at least no one ate any GLASS!!!
Well - this is kind of long but...
Last Christmas at our Neighborhood Wine Bar Christmas Celebration - we are very good friends with owner-manager-wait staff: My husband's b-day was a few weeks prior and one of his clients (he has an IT Consulting Co) met him for a game of tennis and to pay his invoice - yes, very professional way to run a business - anyhoo, the client hands my husband the check / invoice and then says "here's a little something for your birthday" and gives him a bag of marijuana (hidden under the check). Husband was like okay...and then proceeds to go pick up child and neighbor child from school and drive around town doing other things with a bag of refer in the car with the kiddies. Nice...
Let me point out - we're drinkers not smokers so this weed was really not something that we were interested in - especially since it's illegal - I told the hubby we only accept CASH for IT services rendered! What to do with the weed? Which one of our smoker friends to give it to? Of course, our wine bar waiter friend - he'll enjoy it. We were told it was some good sh*t and it had buds in it. Not being a smoker - not sure what that was all about.
On to the Wine Bar Christmas Celebration thing...the place is packed and you can barely hear yourself talk. I notice my old neighborhood nemisis has showed up and walks straight up to waiter friend and gives him a big hug and friendly kiss. Eeowww! Blech! I know he hates this chick but he's a waiter and needs the tips so he has to be nice to everyone.
So, the next time he passes by my table I yell out to him ***just as the loud music and conversation come to a complete deafening silence **** "after hugging and kissing on that tramp, don't even think there's any more weed where that came from!!"
Pin.Drop.Silence. Said in front of owner and manager of bar.
Brilliant! Quite embarrassing because it was supposed to just be a joke and it turned out horribly wrong. I had to apologize to the friend and tell the owner and manager I was just joking....Merry Christmas!! hahahahaha
I don't know if I was three or four years old when this happened, but it's one of my earliest memories and the embarrassment is seared into my brain:
My Grandmother was in the hospital over the holidays, and since I was too small to visit her hospital room, her doctor arranged so that we could visit in one of the hospital gathering rooms. I was particularly proud of a new dress that I was wearing, and loved showing it off to everyone I met. It was a green dress with a tiny floral pattern and a white pinafore attached to the front. On the pinafore was a picture of *my favorite* Raggedy Ann. If you lifted the pinafore, there was a picture of Raggedy Ann in her bloomers.
After visiting with Grandma for a while, her doctor came in to say 'hi' to everyone. I jumped in front of the group and said, "Look at this!" as I pulled up the pinafore on my dress. Only, I pulled up the whole dress by accident, giving the doctor a full view of *my* bloomers. There was a chorus of disapproval by the grown-ups letting me know that it wasn't nice to show the Doctor my underwear. Duh! I was so embarrassed that I hid behind the Christmas tree until the doctor left the room.
I was going to enter the ground glass casserole story...not that someone with a story like that wouldn't have another one
Nutmeg,
All I can say is your mom was a genius for thinking of sewing up the whole... I wouldn't have thought of that. I would have served it anyway though ;)
P/F,
yes that is just the kind of childhood trauma to embed itself into your psyche forever.
Something similar happened to me when I kicked my Dad's friend...
I'll be back. Mr F's home and I'm boiling over and I bought to kick some serious ass.
hrm....
Lemme see..
I have the one time that we were at my maw maw's for easter when I was VERY young- maybe four.. anyway, we had this REALLY good fried chicken.
After eating and hunting eggs, I told my maw maw, "That was some really good chicken!" She, being completely honest says, " That was rabbit, baby"
I bawled my eyes out..I was completely convinced that my mean old paw paw had killed the easter bunny and that we were eating him on his birthday. LOL
Or...the family get- together thingy where Punk decided to pull down his pants and show people the red bugs on his balls. LOL
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