Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Taking The Day

Things seem to be sorting themselves out. I now have 4 kids that I am officially watching. 2 infants and 2 two year olds. Somedays (like Friday) I'll be working from 8 AM until 9 PM (I'm trying not to think about that too much). The good news is that it appears that I'll actually end up having Wednesdays free (mostly)... which is a huge mental health saver. Not just the break itself... but the knowing that I'll have a break. It's making me feel like I can make it through. I can handle anything for 2 days in a row (6 kids?!! hopefully I really can handle it!).

So, today, I really focused on Baby and took her to the library story time, and had a living room tea party, and read books, and played doctor, and snuggled. It made me feel better.

I really need to make sure I'm meeting my own personal goals... of being present for my kids, working out, and enjoying the small moments of my life... if the sitting gets in the way of those goals then I don't think it is worth the financial gain. You know? It only negates the financial stress if it doesn't cause even more stress in more life areas. So I'm going to take this one day at a time and reevaluate in January.

On other fronts I've become increasingly aware that Kid has some new issues (or progressed issues) and that we need to start getting her some help. This is another reason I wish we were not here but in a place with better pediatric specialists... and that we had better insurance. It's not something I'm totally ready to talk about but it's stressful and disappointing (not the exact right word but close) and I'm sad. Maybe that's the right word. I'm sad that she has not been able to have a *normal* life and that she might not ever have a *normal* life. And I'm sorry that she just got a bad deal when it came to genetics and brain development. I'm trying to focus on the fact that she is doing well and is happy. But I also know that it's my responsibility to get her the treatment she needs and that ignoring her symptoms doesn't make them go away.

So that's all. I'm not sure what's going to happen with the blog. We'll see.

Tomorrow I've got two babies coming... that should be interesting.


Robin said...

Yikes! 6 kids?

I emailed you.

inkelywinkely said...

I am sorry for everything coming at you at once. You deserve so much better than this.

I *will* be praying for you, pushing aside my petty "problems" and focusing on praying for you some kind of guidance and strength...some kind of relief. It shouldn't be this hard- not for the good ones- like you, like kid.

Email me if you need to vent. ((hugs))

trifitmom said...

i am curious what kids issues are now, as you know my sass has spd and i have put off some things and it scares me that things come up later....this is feener, i am now at free to email me feener44atgmaildotcom

julie said...

Mrs F, I wish I was independently wealthy and could move your family back up to AA. Or at least cover what you are making taking care of all of the babies along with Baby. Hang in there. Something good has got to come along.

I emailed you, too.

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