Things seem to be sorting themselves out. I now have 4 kids that I am officially watching. 2 infants and 2 two year olds. Somedays (like Friday) I'll be working from 8 AM until 9 PM (I'm trying not to think about that too much). The good news is that it appears that I'll actually end up having Wednesdays free (mostly)... which is a huge mental health saver. Not just the break itself... but the knowing that I'll have a break. It's making me feel like I can make it through. I can handle anything for 2 days in a row (6 kids?!! hopefully I really can handle it!).
So, today, I really focused on Baby and took her to the library story time, and had a living room tea party, and read books, and played doctor, and snuggled. It made me feel better.
I really need to make sure I'm meeting my own personal goals... of being present for my kids, working out, and enjoying the small moments of my life... if the sitting gets in the way of those goals then I don't think it is worth the financial gain. You know? It only negates the financial stress if it doesn't cause even more stress in more life areas. So I'm going to take this one day at a time and reevaluate in January.
On other fronts I've become increasingly aware that Kid has some new issues (or progressed issues) and that we need to start getting her some help. This is another reason I wish we were not here but in a place with better pediatric specialists... and that we had better insurance. It's not something I'm totally ready to talk about but it's stressful and disappointing (not the exact right word but close) and I'm sad. Maybe that's the right word. I'm sad that she has not been able to have a *normal* life and that she might not ever have a *normal* life. And I'm sorry that she just got a bad deal when it came to genetics and brain development. I'm trying to focus on the fact that she is doing well and is happy. But I also know that it's my responsibility to get her the treatment she needs and that ignoring her symptoms doesn't make them go away.
So that's all. I'm not sure what's going to happen with the blog. We'll see.
Tomorrow I've got two babies coming... that should be interesting.