Friday, March 7, 2014

Constructive Criticism

I've been trying to flush out our travel wardrobes for our trip to Mexico at the end of the month.

My bathing suit is old, so I had ordered this one on sale:
not sure... but it was $20 total...so cheapness for the win... 
plus the white makes me look less white in comparison... win-win...
and the flying child distracts you from my mid-section... win-win-win

But anyway,

I was at Cost Plus World Market exchanging curtains when I found what I believed would be the perfect beach cover-up:

(pull out the magnifying glass, peeps)

And I was like... how can that not be fabulous?
It made me feel like I was going to Mexico.
(and I am)  
So, I bought it and brought it home.
I put it on and walked right out into my living room full of critics 
(not having seen myself first)
I was pretty confident that it looked as good as it felt.

Mr F immediately shouted out "Negatory!"
Which was a little harsh, and I was kind of in disbelief.
I mean, it is a cover-up, not an Oscar's dress.
"It feels like I'm light & breezy & drinking a Margarita." I countered, 
hoping if they could understand the motivations of my beach character they'd see the positives.
"No, it feels like you are some strange bird in a weird play."
Kid clarified.
"It is some kind of special horrible, I can't even describe."  Mr F added.
"It is like you are a flying squirrel.
It doesn't even say 'clothes'."  He continued.

At that point I decided to look for myself:
And it was everything they said.  

I couldn't even believe something that felt so 100% awesome on
could be so outrageously unflattering.
I might as well be 8 months pregnant in that.
What the HECK?!

"What if I wore it as a shirt without the bathing suit underneath?"
I asked, 
desperate to keep the Mexican beach dream alive.

"No!"  They shouted in unison.

3 comments:

Brenda said...

"No, it feels like you are some strange bird in a weird play."

Bwahahaha!

Peta Mayer said...

lol.. & lol the thumbnail.

but i think it's very becoming on the legs

Mrs Furious said...

I'm still shocked at how terrible it looks. It looks great NOT on.

Peta,
Ha! yes, the legs are the ONLY thing it isn't adding 50 pounds to.

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