So if you've been obsessively checking my sidebar stats (and why would you not?!) you know I have not been working out AT ALL this week. One thing has snowballed into another all week. We've had friends and family visiting.. canceling their visits.. rescheduling their visits.. and actually visiting. This has meant that even my best laid plans have been thrown out of whack. And yes I could have made more of an effort and admittedly I did not.
I kind of enjoyed all the time off and found myself once again slipping out of my routine and slipping further and further away from reaching my week's goals. This has been happening more and more these last few weeks. I'm not totally sure what to make of it. Partly I've just been tired and partly I've been overwhelmed by all the things I have needed to do between Kid's birthday and Christmas. There is also a part of me that isn't that motivated to get off my ass. I'm done losing and it doesn't seem to matter how many hours I put in on the treadmill I've enter a comfortable weight and I'm not gaining it back.
So that's the good news. I'm maintaining. I'm eating 2000 calories a day and I actually lost a little this week. The bad news is that I'm tired and busy and ovewhelmed and I'm just not feeling that motivated. I know on the one hand that putting in my workout does a lot more than just help me maintain my weight... it helps me feel more energetic, more pulled together and less stressed.
So why oh why is it always so hard for me to stick with it? Why is it so easy to give into my lazy impulses.. and will it ever get easier? When I've had a stretch like this each day it gets harder to get back into my routine... and each day I'm reminded of how easily this could all slip away from me. It was honestly easier when I still had weight loss to motivate me. That seemed a more manageable and quantifiable and necessary goal. Ultimate fitness seems a little bit of a stretch.. something I don't really know how to measure or define... and something so long term that it can be overwhelming if not paralyzing. How do I fit it all in?
These days off have been such a nice reprieve and instead of watching TV and feeling badly about not working out I've stepped it up and actually used my time to knock off stressors from my To-Do lists. And maybe that is justified and necessary and okay to do every now and then... but when you are me... and you are a sabotager... how do you balance a need for a break from the routine without setting yourself up for failure and disappointment?
Today still suffering from a turkey... okay pie.... hangover I sucked it up. I faced every impulse to "take a nap", "have a hot shower", "you're tired", "it feels like Sunday", "you can do it tomorrow" and I put on my shoes and got on the treadmill anyway. I knew I had to make an effort that after 4 days off I was really pushing it and I needed to recommit and show myself that I can do it. To stop the negative self-talk and turn this ship around before it was too late. So I did... let's hope I can keep it up for the rest of the weekend.
Showing posts with label I'm tired. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I'm tired. Show all posts
Friday, November 23, 2007
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Come On In
Here are the thoughts floating around my head...
#1 School starts in 2 days.... ugggh. I am not looking forward to this in the slightest. Kid Furious is not an early riser and so in order for us to make it to AFTERNOON preschool it takes a lot of effort and planning and we all know those are not strong Furious traits!
#2 I have been eating like complete shit lately, and surprise, surprise, feeling like it too. A few weeks back, okay I guess it was more than that, I had been having organic produce delivered. I decided to cancel this service since they weren't bringing me local produce and I was going to the same store it appeared they were... so why not pick out my own produce while I'm there, especially since half the stuff they dropped off was stuff we wouldn't normally eat? The thing is I did eat it... kind of felt obligated to do it... and now I've kind of gone off produce again. I need to really think about this and try and get myself to work it into my diet more than just at dinner. Plus, and I am ashamed it is true, I have totally dropped the ball in feeding Kid Furious a balanced diet either. Before the baby was born she wasn't served a single meal that didn't come with organic fruits and veggies now I'm much more likely to serve her buttered noodles and a chocolate milk. I could kill myself! I have got to pull it together!!
#3 I would really like to workout 2 hours a day. I'm completely serious. The problem is this: A) I can't workout during the day, since Baby Furious is a complete freaking maniac and of course she doesn't sleep on top of that! B) I need to workout on the treadmill which requires TV viewing on my part, or I feel like I will jump out of my skin, and I don't let the kids watch TV let alone "The Closer"(Okay sometimes Kid F can watch Noggin) so I can only workout at night C) I have to work out right... and I mean the minute I put my fork down... after dinner and then as soon as I am done I have to go directly upstairs and put Baby Furious to bed... this pretty much sucks and means we have no "family time" if I choose to exercise. So I'm kind of feeling overextended and guilty that I want to exercise, etc. So, as you may have noticed, the last two weeks I have not fully met my 6 hour workout goal since I have chosen to have a few more "family time" nights. I'm really struggling with this! I wish I didn't have to choose between these two things! I just feel like I do deserve to have 70 minutes to myself... seriously that's it in 24 hours!... and I feel a little more sane plus I am getting my workout in at the same time. But it is hard. I'm hoping when Kid F is at school if Baby F will cooperate I might be able to take her for stroller walks, but it is just flat out not as good of a workout! Plus I really need to start getting back on the pilates reformer and start my strength training back up too.
#4 Mr F and I are considering selling our house. It is of course a terrible market here right now so it would be a terrible decision. A house that is way too small but in the exact right location is on the market and they are asking more than we can even get for our house... and... well... we like to get ourselves all riled up and then not move. We do this about once a year. This time our rationale is that moving will help us declutter and get more organized since we'll have to purge most of our stuff (yeah it is that much smaller) and then we can *start fresh*. So even though in theory, and probably even in reality, we will never do it my stomach is all in knots and I'm stressed out... cause I know we are both crazy enough that we might do it so I have to get mentally prepared for it now!
#5 I did accomplish one longstanding organizational goal: putting together my wedding box (note I didn't say albums... those are a long ways off!). Mr.F got me a lovely leather wedding momento box for our anniversary a few years back, yes for our "leather anniversary". I of course got him a leather nail kit (yeah I'm serious) so I looked like a total jack ass by comparison that year! Well anyway, our anniversary was yesterday, I finally decide I could do this... I could go through my stuff and commit the important things to this box. I did it! And in so doing I finally purged all the magazine clippings and notes and overall shit I had been saving at the top of a closet for the past 6 years. I filled the box and then put all the misc stuff I thought might still be meaningful when discovered in an attic by my girls after my death in an archival box and tossed the rest. And yet I don't feel "mission accomplished" like I did with the pantry since I still need to do my albums. I wish I could.. but I can't. One of my biggest blunders was not paying the photographer to do our albums for us. I of course thought this was something I could do and apparently that is not the case!
#6 When Mr. F is home I feel more out of control and have a much harder time sticking to my meal plans, workout routines, cleaning missions, etc. This week I am probably going to skip meal planning until tomorrow and start on Tuesday when things get back to normal. Or start becoming normal... "back to school" time gives me such anxiety... it is some kind of weird flashback stress or something... I feel like I have to get Kid Furious off to college or something.
I need sleep! Good night!
#1 School starts in 2 days.... ugggh. I am not looking forward to this in the slightest. Kid Furious is not an early riser and so in order for us to make it to AFTERNOON preschool it takes a lot of effort and planning and we all know those are not strong Furious traits!
#2 I have been eating like complete shit lately, and surprise, surprise, feeling like it too. A few weeks back, okay I guess it was more than that, I had been having organic produce delivered. I decided to cancel this service since they weren't bringing me local produce and I was going to the same store it appeared they were... so why not pick out my own produce while I'm there, especially since half the stuff they dropped off was stuff we wouldn't normally eat? The thing is I did eat it... kind of felt obligated to do it... and now I've kind of gone off produce again. I need to really think about this and try and get myself to work it into my diet more than just at dinner. Plus, and I am ashamed it is true, I have totally dropped the ball in feeding Kid Furious a balanced diet either. Before the baby was born she wasn't served a single meal that didn't come with organic fruits and veggies now I'm much more likely to serve her buttered noodles and a chocolate milk. I could kill myself! I have got to pull it together!!
#3 I would really like to workout 2 hours a day. I'm completely serious. The problem is this: A) I can't workout during the day, since Baby Furious is a complete freaking maniac and of course she doesn't sleep on top of that! B) I need to workout on the treadmill which requires TV viewing on my part, or I feel like I will jump out of my skin, and I don't let the kids watch TV let alone "The Closer"(Okay sometimes Kid F can watch Noggin) so I can only workout at night C) I have to work out right... and I mean the minute I put my fork down... after dinner and then as soon as I am done I have to go directly upstairs and put Baby Furious to bed... this pretty much sucks and means we have no "family time" if I choose to exercise. So I'm kind of feeling overextended and guilty that I want to exercise, etc. So, as you may have noticed, the last two weeks I have not fully met my 6 hour workout goal since I have chosen to have a few more "family time" nights. I'm really struggling with this! I wish I didn't have to choose between these two things! I just feel like I do deserve to have 70 minutes to myself... seriously that's it in 24 hours!... and I feel a little more sane plus I am getting my workout in at the same time. But it is hard. I'm hoping when Kid F is at school if Baby F will cooperate I might be able to take her for stroller walks, but it is just flat out not as good of a workout! Plus I really need to start getting back on the pilates reformer and start my strength training back up too.
#4 Mr F and I are considering selling our house. It is of course a terrible market here right now so it would be a terrible decision. A house that is way too small but in the exact right location is on the market and they are asking more than we can even get for our house... and... well... we like to get ourselves all riled up and then not move. We do this about once a year. This time our rationale is that moving will help us declutter and get more organized since we'll have to purge most of our stuff (yeah it is that much smaller) and then we can *start fresh*. So even though in theory, and probably even in reality, we will never do it my stomach is all in knots and I'm stressed out... cause I know we are both crazy enough that we might do it so I have to get mentally prepared for it now!
#5 I did accomplish one longstanding organizational goal: putting together my wedding box (note I didn't say albums... those are a long ways off!). Mr.F got me a lovely leather wedding momento box for our anniversary a few years back, yes for our "leather anniversary". I of course got him a leather nail kit (yeah I'm serious) so I looked like a total jack ass by comparison that year! Well anyway, our anniversary was yesterday, I finally decide I could do this... I could go through my stuff and commit the important things to this box. I did it! And in so doing I finally purged all the magazine clippings and notes and overall shit I had been saving at the top of a closet for the past 6 years. I filled the box and then put all the misc stuff I thought might still be meaningful when discovered in an attic by my girls after my death in an archival box and tossed the rest. And yet I don't feel "mission accomplished" like I did with the pantry since I still need to do my albums. I wish I could.. but I can't. One of my biggest blunders was not paying the photographer to do our albums for us. I of course thought this was something I could do and apparently that is not the case!
#6 When Mr. F is home I feel more out of control and have a much harder time sticking to my meal plans, workout routines, cleaning missions, etc. This week I am probably going to skip meal planning until tomorrow and start on Tuesday when things get back to normal. Or start becoming normal... "back to school" time gives me such anxiety... it is some kind of weird flashback stress or something... I feel like I have to get Kid Furious off to college or something.
I need sleep! Good night!
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