Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Maybe She's Born With It, Maybe It's Maybelline

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sure you can pick up on it by now (If not then I'm must be much funnier than even I give myself credit for... and that is saying something).
It's not just the exhaustion which has reached all new super human levels. I feel like I'm walking around in a cloud. A dark rolling storm cloud.
It's dampening in the way that... er... depression is.
I haven't felt like this since I was pregnant. And no I'm not. It isn't humanly possible on several fronts... not just the sterilization.

To Be Continued....


AT22 said...

You are not alone. I'm having the same problem - no motivation, I want to stay in bed, I don't want to do ANYTHING. It might be the world in general right now. Things are...depressing.

And I have to find a new job pronto. Not so easy when every day companies are laying off thousands of workers.

This may be a "ride it out" kind of time.

lucinda said...

Remember: they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture. You can't think your way to feeling better. Maybe when you're at Mame's we can work something out that would help you in the night.

Haley said...

I just sat here in front of my computer for about 10 minutes trying to think of what to say, but the right words aren't there. I've struggled through this before on my own, and I've also struggled through the depression of someone very close to me. There are no words. But the fact that you keep reaching out is a very, very good thing. Here's hoping that things begin to brighten a bit, slowly but surely. And thank goodness for your holiday trip!

julie said...

I agree with your mom. Sleep deprivation really beats the hell out of you.

Plus, you just made a major move. I have friends who still haven't fully adjusted to cross country moves and it's been a couple of years.

I think I have a bit of a seasonal affective thing going on over here. I am unusually tired at night.

Well, I have a bit of time between all of the glamorous housekeeping duties so I am totally going to plop my big fat Newman-O ass in front of the Biggest Loser.

Again, what the hell? I have more to say in the comments section of your blog than I do on my own new blog.

julie said...

I should just cut and paste what I wrote here and put in my blog for an entry:)

Robin said...

I feel ya, Mrs. F. I have been walking around in that same cloud for a while myself. I wish I had advice. Just know we are here for you.

Julie said...

I just want to give you a hug. I know exactly how you feel...and I know how bad the "pregnant" feeling is...I had never ever had any kind of depression issues until I got pregnant with my first. I hope you can get some rest on your trip and come home refreshed.

megO said...

i third the sleep deprivation thing. it is brutal on many levels.

Mrs Furious said...

Good luck on the job front! I hope you get something.

and Yes I hear you on the "ride it out" ...

Thanks for all your support everyone :)
Definitely sleep deprivation is a factor... but I'm wondering if there isn't something medically wrong like an infection or something.

If I don't feel better when we get back from our trip I think I'll see a doctor just to rule it out.

Torey said...

I feel you. I'm in that preggo fog right now, and while mine is not as bad as yours sounds, it's still really hard. And I'm pretty sure it sucks to be N and Gup right now. So we're NEVER. DOING. THIS. AGAIN. EVER. Let me repeat: EVER!

I'm wondering too if you're having a bit of reverse-season affect disorder. You know, because your seasons aren't in sync with the seasons your body is accustomed to. Your body associates the end of Daylight Savings Time with cold, snow, ice, snowdays, salty roads, etc. and you're just not getting that. Maybe the trip up here will help.

I can't believe that you'll be here, and we'll be in Charlotte NC! That's so not fair!

Have you tried the Unisom recently? Seriously, that is the stuff heaven is made of.

Remember, this too shall pass.

Anonymous said...

I would almost say to get tested for Lymes Disease..or like you said Thyroid. I say if you have a doctor go. Then you can stop worrying about what it might be. I would also mention the body symptoms of anxiety...flu like with out the fevers etc...hang in there and as claire says just do THE next things...have a good trip.

Mrs Furious said...

Out of Hand,
You know I did have a tick on me this summer...
I'm going to go to my MI rheumatologist while I'm there and have them run my levels and whatnot. Could be I'm having an RA flare up.

There is only one way to make sure it doesn't happen again... snip snip ;)
Oh that sucks that you won't be there!
I saw you were rocking the AAParents the other day ;)

Torey said...

I'm always rocking the aaparents. Often I'm late for something and have to apologize and say "Sorry, someone on the internet was wrong"

So true. . .

Mrs Furious said...

That is fucking hilarious! I love reading all that bullshit and getting myself totally pissed off... I just cannot freaking help myself!

Kiki said...

There is no way to ever say I know how you feel and I have no words that can wrap themselves around you and comfort you, but I know we are all listening, whatever you need to say...we hear you.

I think going to the doctor is a great idea (despite my own resistance to go), rule out things one by one...eventually you'll feel better or figure out what it is.

I do feel, however, like I could fall asleep standing up and its only 8:51 gets dark too damn early...its starting to bug me!!!

Mrs Furious said...

Thanks Kiki,
I agree, the time change combined with the seasonal lack of evening sunlight is definitely messing with my mind!

Mr Furious said...

Here's what I think:

1. Sleep Deprivation. Seriously. I think you are through the looking glass here—a ten minute video, and I don't think it even occurred to you to mention that? You're so tired, you forgot you are tired.

2. Winter. It's not cold and gray every day like the miserable hell that is Michigan, but it's dark at 5:20 now, and that messes with you EVERY year.

3. Going back. The first thing I thought of is after going to Charleston for two nights—you and Kid were totally messed up when we got back to Asheville. This time it will be longer, and you will have gone to Ann Arbor. That is definitely weighing on you, even though you haven't mentioned it (until now). As the guy who made you move here and is relieved to see you happy finally? This scares the shit out of me.

4. Holiday Pressure. Also a big deal for you, perhaps compounded by financial stress. I think not going anywhere for Christmas, plus the compact are good moves, and will pay dividends next month.

5. You'll feel so much better when you return to your freshly painted bedroom and fully-operational ice maker!

Mr Furious said...

6. I love you.

Mr Furious said...

7. Now I will walk across the room and personally interact with you.

Torey said...

I love the blogging back and forth. I find it adorable.

I have to say that I feel a little bit for Mr. F. because I see what N is going through with all my craziness. . . but I also feel for Mrs. F obviously!!!

Kiki said...

Oh Mr.F...I'm swooning...that was so sweet....

Mrs Furious said...

Torey & Kiki,
after reading his comment I said to Mr F "of course you are going to make everyone in love with you again... too bad in real life living with you is like living with an Alzheimer's patient"

he did humor me by watching 17&Counting with me ;)

julie said...

7. Now I will walk across the room and personally interact with you. Mr F, that was funny. I am still chuckling.

Oh, wow, I feel stressed for you, Mrs F, thinking about being away with the kids for 9 days. All the change beats the hell out of the schedule.

I feel so affected by this time change this year. It's fucking with me and I don't like it.

And on a last note...OBAMA, OBAMA, OBAMA
Sorry, it just brings my spirits up when I remember he's the president-elect.

Elizabeth said...

Awww, Mr F. Being cute!

I agree with everyone saying you should get tested for everything! Especially since you HAVE a condition that causes you to feel this way, it would make sense for it to be acting up.

Also, both mom and C have almost no thyroid function, these things might be hereditary? (I've had mine tested... it works, I kind of wanted it NOT to so I could be on medicine that would 'fix' me.)
So, yeah, that might be worth checking out.

I too was totally depressed when I moved here. It centered more around the job, but I cried because I missed (one of) my old job(s). Oh, Also the apartment when it was all empty and I wasa sleeping on an air mattress. I HATE the first few nights alone in a new empty place.

Anyway, I'm always terrible at finding the right words for people. I wish you weren't unhappy! I hope it passes. Hang in there? Yeah awkward. Sorry.

Mrs Furious said...

Thank you.
And OH GOD the air mattresses! That was the worst part of the move!

I'm definitely going to get everything checked. Better to be on the proactive side.

Sorry you don't have thyroid issues ;)

LOL on the OBAMA... it does kind of make me feel better.

Heather said...

I agree with Mr F's diagnosis, but the possibility of Lyme disease is intriguing, especially if you know you were bitten by a tick. I'm hoping you feel better soon, regardless. I've learned the sleep deprivation = quickest route to Hopeless USA.

Although I also agree with Julie, everytime I think about Obama I feel better.

P/F said...

I hope that everything is okay, Mrs. F. As I'm prone to my own ups and downs - I can really feel for you.

And I couldn't help but mention that Vicky (Biggest Loser) looked like the Cowardly Lion with the ringlets that she was rocking last night ;)

AT22 said...

Did not have the benefit of the video when I first posted - or all these comments. Mr. F seems to have nailed it (and he is in a good position for that!), but RA could defintely be a culprit. Did not know you dealt with that. With Lyme you usually get that pretty pronounced red ring rash - I certainly hope that is not the cause of your "stuff." But really, the season is huge - holidays, finances, sleep deprivation (don't we all lack sleep these days??). Hang in there!

I know a couple that interacts on facebook - actually two - when they are in the same house. It's pretty funny :) Just think, our parents actually had to talk...or not.

Kiki said...

Heehee...Alzhiemers patient...still, you're right I'm still loving Mr.F...that was too cute, in fact reading it all over again made me smile!!!

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