Thursday, April 23, 2009

I Heart New York

Well the long awaited trip review...

The trip was great, we saw friends and family and really made the most of our journey. The kids did remarkably well (thank you DVD player).

The trip also gave Mr F and I a lot of time to talk. When else do you get 12 straights hours of undivided attention and adult conversation (minus the times I had to hurl myself over the front seat and dangle my body down like a contortionist to reach the missing... markers, pacies, snacks, water, etc... while instructing Mr F to please not hit anything)?!? We were able to talk about where we want to be and how we think we can get there... our 5 year plan if you will. As much as moving to Asheville has been harder (more disappointing really) than we expected it has also given us a lot of valuable insight into what we are looking for as a family.

While I would like very much to move back to NY... more now that we've been back (Mr F too although with more reservations)... that is my dream (although it did look like it was quickly becoming Kid's dream) and not my families best chance at a successful, thriving, life... so.... with a big ol' gulp I guess I'm swallowing that one for now.

I was wondering (and nervous) if NY would still live up to my idealized rememberances. It did. I was worried that things would have changed too much and I wouldn't feel that I belonged. They hadn't. I felt completely at home and at peace with myself walking down the busy streets of Manhattan. If you haven't had the experience of living in different places it's hard to describe... but some places feel better than others. Since moving out of the city I often feel like I am an impostor... in small towns, on vacation, at the store, in the country, in the mountains... like I just don't know exactly how to *be* where I am... NY, for whatever reason, is the only place I've ever been where I don't feel that way.

However... there is the financial reality. And it doesn't allow for us to live that life. Not now anyway.

Our trip brought up lots of other things too (stay tuned for that) one of them was unexpected...
Somewhat of an appreciation for Asheville...

Emphasis on somewhat.

Oh and Mr F decided to drive the kids up and visit his parents. Let that sink in.


Jen said...

Some of us would be very excited if you moved to New York :) Boy do I hear you on the "financial reality" though. We recently found out we'll be staying in NY for at least a few more years for job reasons, which means no possibility at all of me staying at home when we someday have kids. One income just won't cut it. That has been a real adjustment for me - in part to the idea of being a working mom, but mostly to the idea of being a working mom HERE. People are very workworkwork, and a "normal" schedule would have me missing dinner and bedtime every night. I wasn't planning on having to be a trailblazer.

julie said...

I can not wait to watch the video. I have the kids home for school vacation and they are totally off the wall so I can't right now.

I so can relate to the feeling of belonging in some places more than others. I feel the same way where I live right now. But we are stuck here for a while since the whole world broke down financially.

Kiki said...

I breathe better in NY, feel more at home there and I'm always sad to leave. Thank goodness I live at the beach, it's what makes living here okay.

Haley said...

Well, as nice as it would be to have Furious neighbors, I totally get why NY doesn't make much sense. If family proximity weren't an issue I think Adam I would be out of here as fast as possible -- it's just too damned expensive to live anywhere NEAR new york. What I wouldn't give to just pick up and move to the middle of nowhere and have a more fulfilling lifestyle (or at least closer to my friends).

julie said...

um, okay, Mr F brought the kids to see his parents...are you at all able to talk about that?!

Heather said...

Agreed about the lack of materialism and keeping up with the Joneses -- its one of the things I love most about California. I felt a little whiff of that stuff in Charlotte and got the willies, but was willing to look past it and just find hippie friends. :)

sara said...

Mrs. Furious!!

You were in the suburbs of Philly and didn't stop to say hello??? I'm so disappointed I missed you, but I think I'll get over it :) If you ever make your way over here again, I expect a visit!! I can babysit your girls and let you and Mr. F have a night out on the town--there's good food to be had in the Philly area.. yum yum yum.


Mrs Furious said...

Sorry that I've been having a hard time commenting back the last two days. Mr F has been on photo shoots on location and I have just not had anytime to myself! I'm going to kill the kids ... or like I said to Mr F when he finally came home yesterday "I'm not going to be in a good mood."
I need a fence... like... yesterday!

And... is it possible that I just agreed to be class parent for 1st grade?!! What have I done?!

Oh and the baby I'll be sitting was just born... 6 weeks early... hopefully that won't mean any negative ramifications.

And YES Mr F went to see his parents for the day. Honestly if I hadn't blogged about it the other week I don't think it would have occurred to him on his own. I think my doing that motivated to prove that it isn't his fault that they don't have contact. You know? Of course since I wasn't there I have very little feedback for you. Nothing was said, nothing happened... they all kind of pretended it was normal. There was no talk of coming to see us though ;) And Mr F said that for him seeing them for one afternoon every year is fine... it was the same take away experience as seeing them a couple of days a couple times a year with none of the negatives... and it's easy to fit an afternoon in when we are visiting my family in the East without my having to go to. I'll be VERY interested how they proceed though... will they call now or not?

Oh I'm sorry we missed you! My family is in Newtown Sq & West Chester areas. My dad is up in Easton.
Next time!!

Elizabeth said...

I think it's great Matt took the kids to see thier grandparents. This sounds like an excellent 'solution'. From what you've said it sounds like they're they type who just want to wallpaper over things and pretend it's ok. BUT! it's probably really good for the girls to see them nontheless.

And NC taxes WTF? Sales tax on food? Who thought that was a good idea?
(I love Chapel Hill btw)

julie said...

I just agreed to be class parent for 1st grade?!! That should give you some good blogging material;)

I do think doing it will give you some more connection to your surroundings. I have done this for years with my kids' classes and it helps me feel more connected to the school and community. I do usually regret doing it every year as I do it, though. But that's just me and my need to complain. I'm a freaking martyr.

Mrs Furious said...

"But that's just me and my need to complain."Yeah. I can't relate to that at all. ;)

Mrs Furious said...

"This sounds like an excellent 'solution'."
I agree.

I think we'd like Chapel Hill... a little more education can make a big difference ;)

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