Wishing my gag order was lifted and with it my creative brain block? Me too.
Things I can tell you...
Last night I made Mr F spew chewed pretzels and water all over himself and the couch.
How?
Well, we were watching The Biggest Loser.
During the weigh-in Sherry (the pink team mom) starts toward the scale and Mr F says "She's the one I'm nervous for."
"Yeah, plus I like her." I say.
Then add...
"Cause I'd look like her if I was fat."
Right then the camera scanned her body.
And Mr F started laughing so hard he actually started throwing up.
Which was disgusting... but... also hilarious. And in part to get out of the range of fire but also because my body had gone limp with laughter I fell to the ground and lay there convulsing. Which only made his condition worsen. And I turned to look just as I saw another round of pretzel and water come propelling out of his mouth.
Of course what was so funny about this was that his immediate free flowing laugh attack was an undeniable open acknowlegement that YES that is what I would look like.
Which was kind of an insult.
But I had hit the nail so firmly on the head that any normal husband to wife filter was trumped and the truth came out... along with the pretzels.
And it couldn't have been funnier.
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9 comments:
Dear Mrs. Furious,
You are awesome.
-SawSaw
I like her too except her eyes they freak me out a bit. and lol yall are so funny. I am now wondering who my body type is like on the BL.
She looks like a troll doll. I can barely wait for makeover day.
"If you blow chunks and she comes back, she's yours. But if you spew and she bolts, then it was never meant to be."
Were truer words ever spoken?
Haley,
LOL
Deb,
Oh God that is so funny...she totally has a troll head. It's too bad cause it is kind of hard to make that over. But maybe with non bleached out long hair she could be alright.
SawSaw,
Thanks :)
Andrea,
It's funny because her daughter has a gorgeous face and you wonder how that came to be.
At least you don't have a grandmother EVERYONE *insists* you look identical to (when she was young) who now looks like she is melting, who your husband is utterly repulsed by. LOL..
I have had one of those moments too.. they are funny, then as the laughter dies down, you kind of get a pang, then it is still funny. :)
This afternoon, while I was putting C to bed, it occurred to me that my comment about her looking like a troll might not be received well, since you had JUST gotten done comparing her to you. YOIKS! I, of course, was talking about her fried blonde hair. And you still look like Rachel Weisz to me anyway. :)
Deb,
No worries. I do not think I look like her... especially in the face (thankfully... no offense Sherry!). But if I were to be obese I think that's my obese body type. Mr F thinks he has Lance's body type. I think that is wishful thinking. Rachel Weisz I'll take.
the thing is, husbands can make fat jokes and usually off-limits fat remarks when you're thin....and is that okay? like i've lost a crapload of weight since i had nicole and my husband would NEVER even remotely make a comment about my weight until now when i'm thin. I asked for a box of Almond Roca for Valentine's and with a sort of funny little smirk on his face, he said "nah, that stuff'll just go right to your ass!" and then he laughed like he had made an incredibly huge joke. it was funny but what's more funny is his rather sudden liberation of fat remarks in my direction - like now it's okay. Do I get offended or just laugh it off like the joke it's intended to be. Guess I'll be a grown up about it and laugh it off.
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