Saturday, March 1, 2014

Try And You Shall Succeed (because the real success is learning to let yourself try in the first place)

Yesterday, a friend told me about a free basketball clinic for 4th & 5th grade girls.

I wasn't sure if that is something Kid would be up for... I mean, it is the weekend when she typically reads for 48 straight hours... but she surprised me and good naturally agreed.

She has the courage to try a lot more things lately.  More often than not, these days, her desire to do things overrules her worrying nature.

But she still struggles with anxiety. (who doesn't?!) So, I wasn't surprised when the reality of what she'd committed to washed over her later last night.

I'd been waiting for it.

I said:

"I get it, I'm the same way.  You want to do something, but you get so worried about all the things you don't know about the situation, and you get nervous and wish you'd never agreed to it (um... hello... bread baking... I mean I GET IT).  But, just like me, I know you'll... "

and before I could finish...

Kid said:

"Freak out and eat bread products all day."

(Then we laughed hysterically)

And I finished:

"Well, yes, that... but I meant that I know you'll do it and be glad you did."

It was tough going, I'm not going to lie.  The first 15 minutes had no structure (which = hell) and she didn't know anyone and wanted to leave and was kind of shutting down...  just wandering around the court not really doing anything. (except occasionally shooting death rays at me from across the court)

And while, I know, some of you can't relate... I also know that the vast majority of you CAN.

How many times do you voluntarily agree to attend a function on your own, knowing no one, and then top it off by openly demonstrating your physical vulnerability in front of spectators?  I sure as hell don't.

I think, a lot of times, people forget that kids aren't any different.  They really aren't immune to social anxiety, even if our culture seems to think that they should be. (Plus, they can't self medicate with a beer while they do it)

So, I was incredibly proud of her for taking the step to even show up.

And I knew that as soon as there was an organized program she'd do fine. And every time we can show up and push through the hard start she gains confidence that she can do it.  She can do things she wants even if they scare her.  She can surprise herself.

She's learning that there's a reward for sticking through the awkward beginnings and self doubt. (which, frankly, I'm still trying to learn myself)

And she did:

 She even won the dribbling contest.

 And there were moments when she was LOVING it:

She even agreed she'd go back if they hosted another.  And that is success.  
(Because I forced myself to attend a Pampered Chef party once and I swore I'd never go back)

Plus, dude, check out Kid's legs:
They kind of counterbalance the genetic anxiety genes.  Right?


Kellie said...

Way to go Kid! I don't even think Lindalou could find a criticism in that post…well, maybe she could. ;)

Torey said...

Good for Kid! She looks like a natural!

Mrs Furious said...

Ha! I'm sure she could ;)

She just struggles with the confidence part.

julie said...

Awesome Kid!
Really big deal to take that step out of her comfort zone. You know I understand.

She has the longest legs. She has really grown up…beautiful, witty girl.

Brenda said...

Great post. Maybe some day I will learn and embrace this lesson...

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