Thursday, April 3, 2008

Bait and Switch

Can you tell I'm really tired these days? Well I am. I'm here... but it is taking almost every bit of mental energy I have left to type these three sentences.

So what topic should I throw out today? Hmmm... let me think.

In-laws!

Tell me are your in-laws everything you hoped for and more? Or do you dodge their phone calls like you might an unsolicited telemarketer's?

I think it is no secret that my relationship with my in-laws is... well... strained. That isn't what I wanted. I had always hoped to marry into a *normal* family. The kind with big family reunions and Christmas parties. The kind with a funny loving mom and dad that always had a pitcher full of Margaritas at the ready.

I married into a family of repressed Catholics.

32 comments:

Robin said...

My husband doesn't really speak to his family, so I don't really have in-laws. That suits me just fine. We don't have to split our time on holidays! My husband is the one from the super crazy family who married into a normal family. (Well, as normal as any family is.) I always joke that I can't divorce him because if I do, I would lose my family in the settlement. They love him.

Re: Irish Catholics. Hmmm, maybe they are different in MI than they are in TX. We are Irish Catholic (I guess, I know we are Catholic, and I know we are Irish, but I never really thought of myself as Irish Catholic.) Anyway, we love our margaritas and there is booze at every family function. ;) We have a good time.

Sorry you are so tired. I hope it gets better soon.

Mrs Furious said...

Oh Irish Catholics from MA/CT. You know Boston Catholics. They drink (a little) but they are RESERVED emotionally... not exactly "good times" style.

Mrs Furious said...

Okay I edited that. It was too confusing. They are repressed.... guilt ridden style.

Robin said...

Ah. We don't have a ton of that going on. :) Guilt, sure. Not so much repressed. LOL

Shirls said...

I'm not ukranian, I'm not a religous freak and I wasn't grateful for the bible hand highlighted, in 5 colours as a wedding gift...

does any of that give you a clue as to how much my MIL loves me??

I think my favorite line from her was "your the devils spawn"

oh, feel the love baby!

Julie said...

I am laughing so hard about the Boston Irish Catholic thing!! Because that is my family including the Boston part! My dad had 13 kids in his family and mom had 9. It is all about the one-liners and it is like being at a "roast" at all get togethers. It's all about lamenting about people's bad times and going to wakes all the time and "celebrating" the death of family members, friends, strangers every year with a mass and then donuts and coffee afterward.

I have to say that with the crazies from my generation of cousins and kids, it is not nearly as repressed in our extended family. Still, I would not really want to talk "feelings" with my dad (or any of his family.) My mom's family has the Irish alcoholism "gene" unfortunately...too many feelings get discussed when the booze is flowing. But not in a constructive way. Thankfully, neither of my parents drink.

Guilt...oh yeah, that is the Irish Catholic way...especially for our parents' generation.

I actually have really great in-laws. I have not always felt that way though. There is no drama in his family. I used to think they just did not talk about it and felt they were repressed. Now, frankly, I don't care if it is repressed as it sure makes for nice get-togethers without the drama that I am used to with my immediate family.

Mrs Furious said...

Shirls,
That is hilarious. I guess I should count my blessings ;)


Julie,
"Now, frankly, I don't care if it is repressed as it sure makes for nice get-togethers without the drama that I am used to with my immediate family."
Yeah... I'm trying to get to that point.

Erin said...

My in-laws are in my driveway right now in their MOTORHOME on their way back from Florida. I hear ya!

Jennifer said...

Inlaws .. lol. Well you see how well my actual MARRIAGE turned out .. bet you can't guess how absolutely GREAT my mother-in-law is.

coughPSYCHOcough, Excuse me, must have had a hairball.

Southern Fried Girl said...

Oh I adored my FIL. LOVED HIM. He was this tiny Filipino man who cracked my shit up on the regular. I mean, he was just kayuuuuute. Now, I never met my hubs mama as she passed in 1992. But. Cute as pie FIL remarried. To an absolute wretched woman. She is just lovely. Once my FIL passed away, we ceased any and all contact with her because why bother? We made nice for him for several years and she proceeded to continue to shit on us and try to take advantage. It was big fun.

Dude, repressed Catholics are no bueno. I'm Catholic but I promise I'd give you a 'rita. A big one. I heart them. :)

P.O.M. said...

Don't have any yet. But in my head, they are like the family from the movie "The Family Stone." And they are all fun and we drink wine together. The sister becomes my new best friend. We go shopping with the MIL every other weekend and end it with big fat martinis. We usually get tipsy so the men have to come pick us up and we all laugh about it. And they are wealthy and love to buy me presents.

Am I shooting too high here?

Mrs Furious said...

P.O.M,
Oh LOL... let me know if that works out, I might be willing to leave Mr F for one of the brothers!

Chrissy said...

My in-laws are great! They live in South Australia so I never have to worry about anyone showing up in my drive way. No one can just drop in and I have a 500 mile rule for relatives anyway (if you knew my family you would understand. Of course, when they do come for a visit it's a long ass visit! 3 months last summer - I never wished for a summer to end so quickly in my life!

They're Australian so they like a drop - we're good there! My MIL is a very emotional person - good emotional, bad emotional, crazy as a loon half the time and can completely get on your nerves but I always know her heart is in the right place. She cares too much, has too much time on her hands to analyze a situation...but, compared to my family....she's pretty good. And his Dad! Love him to death!

My family sucks.

Chrissy

Mrs Furious said...

Erin,
Motorhome in your driveway?!... OH good God I feel for you!


Jennifer,
"Well you see how well my actual MARRIAGE turned out"
hahaha! Good point ;)



SFG,
Something about a tiny Filipino man, cracking your shit up on the regular, brings a big old smile to my face. Sorry about the bitch though.

Preppy Mama said...

I only have a mother-in-law and she makes up for two people. She hung up on me the other day (day before my sister's brain surgery mind you) because, "she didn't think I was into talking to her". She never said good luck or how are you...she reminded me that she was going to Florida. Screen calls...I'm with you sister!

John Howard said...

My in-laws are great. Sometimes, my wife doesn't really agree, but they've always been good to me.

angie said...

I don't hate my in-laws, but don't love them either. My husband was born in Tawain and came over when he was 8. So he's pretty American. But his parents are old school chinese. They talk in chinese 75% of the time when i am around, which is annoying--especially when I know they are talking about me or my son. His mom is very opinionated and judgmental which is hard to deal with. When my son was 1 week old she kept trying to make me give him water rather than breast milk and tried to convince me to give him a pacifier. She has many criticisms of my parenting.

My favorite though is the day after we got engaged she took me into a Chinese dress shop to look at Chinese wedding dresses. She asked for their largest size (i was an 8 then). Nice.

Mr Furious said...

She asked for their largest size

Ouch!

Mr Furious said...

Mrs F's parents and family is high-drama, high-maintenance with multiple divorces and marriages and kids all over the map. My family is the textbook no-divorce, no drama, no emotion, totally repressed family, that I always thought was "normal."

I now know better...neither are "normal."

Hopefully, Mrs F and I are a healthy combination of the two.

Deb said...

My MIL is the kind of person who doesn't reach you on your home phone, so she calls your mobile phone. Then she calls the house. Then your mobile phone. Then... yeah, she's annoying. She's divorced from my FIL, which is fortunate, because I told my FIL that he was dead to me about two years ago, and I haven't spoken with him since.

Long story short, I refer to mine as my "Out Laws". One is a nutcase, the other is pure evil. What're ya gonna do?

Mrs Furious said...

Mr F,
oh you know you love the drama.


Deb,
Outlaws.... love it!


John,
that is pretty much how Mr F feels about my family... he enjoys it (drama and all) and the only fallout is on my end with my family.


Chrissy,
Wow. Even if I *loved* my in-laws I don't if I could do 3 months. I don't think I could do three months with very many people... even Mr F is pushing it ;)

Mrs Furious said...

Preppy Mama,
Oh we are huge screeners ;)
And I am sorry to hear about your sister... but happy that her surgery went well. I hope her recovery goes smoothly and is less painful.

Anonymous said...

Don't even get me started - especially on the heels of a visit where I, the pregnant woman, was cooking and serving them as they sat on the sofa. I could start a blog on the topic. Yeah, I'm trying not to leave any evidence hence the anonymous. Paranoid - maybe, maybe not!
Heather

Mrs Furious said...

Heather,
Oh God that was me last year but sub out pregnant for newborn. Argh.
I do love the anon posting ;)

Andrea said...

I love my in laws they are the family I wish I had when I was younger even though they live 500 miles away they would be more than welcome to stop in anytime if they were nearby, before hubby and I were married and lived nearby we ate dinner at their house 4 or 5 times a week. man I miss them.

Amy said...

I could go on forever about my ILs.

Like the time my MIL said to me "why can't you just get fat again so you'd be happy?". Right. It was the weight loss, not the problems her son & I were having, that was making me not-so-happy.

Or the time, right after the wedding, that some family property was being transferred to hubby, only the ILs would only give it to him if I signed a waiver to have absolutely no interest in said property. "But we love you and you are family, we just want it to stay 'in the family'." Right. I am going to put my money into the house we will build, as a married couple, on land that I have no interest in. Please. If 'something' should happen to us, I am not going to take away your family's property. Thank goodness hubby put a stop to that, and that he believes once we're we married everything is joint.

I could go on and on about how MIL wants me to be the daughter she never had (but seriously should have had). It was like I said "I do" and she expected our relationship to change overnight. We are so not the same person, and so do not share the same interests yet she wants us to be BFF's.

Dude...I could write a novel's worth.

Amy said...

Oh, yeah...and

they became 'born again' a few years ago and are always trying to "spread the seed". I hate when she says that...it sounds so incestual. Even after we express that while, yes, everyone in their church is friendly...it's just not our style and we really don't want them to keep asking us to go to church with them.

michelline said...

Mrs F's parents and family is high-drama, high-maintenance with multiple divorces and marriages and kids all over the map

That describes my family. Almost exactly. Scarily so. Are we related?

My in-laws are AWESOME. I am so lucky. We actually live down the street from them (on purpose as we bought after they did) and I wouldn't have it any other way. They are unobtrusive, yet there for us when we need them. My MIL is the nicest person I know and my FIL is someone I greatly respect and like. And to think I still feel this way after almost 20 years! :) Chris and John have no idea how lucky they are to have such wonderful parents.

Mrs Furious said...

Michelline & Andrea,
I am jealous. That is what I always hoped to have myself.


Amy,
"spread the seed"
Yikes! That does sound dirty.

and don't forget about the turkey! ;)

eurydice said...

Well I don't have in-laws... yet. But I am under the impression that my *future* mother in law (maybe...) likes to be the boss of everything, including her sons. So she'll have to step-off and realize that I'm the boss. ME!

Mrs Furious said...

eurydice,
uh oh that's not a good sign ;)

Dinah Soar said...

I've learned that there are no "normal" families....just try to accept your in-laws as best you can...if they are intrusive, set boundaries...aside from that, just do a lot of editing.

My husband was estranged from his mother, and his dad was 60 when he was born, so died when hubby and I were in our 20's, so I never dealt with in-laws...but now I am an in-law twice...so I'm on the receiving end...I do my best not to be intrusive but show my love for my children.

My daughter-in-law tells her friends, in front of me, that I am a wonderful mother in law so I guess I am doing something right.

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