Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Thank You, Thank You

I've got all my belated thank you notes weighing (heavily) on my mind these days.

I'd like to know if you write them and what rules you follow if you do. Do you send them to everyone? Do you send them out within two weeks? Do you even bother at all?

23 comments:

Julie said...

I used to write really long,detailed thank you notes to everyone. Hard to believe, huh? The kind in which I talked about each and every item the person might have given me or the kids and have something lovely to say about it. Real pain in the ass when one person would give the kids like 20 different gifts at Christmas. I still send them out, but I keep it real simple these days.

Plus I do send them out to people even if they are there when they give it to me or the kids for birthdays. Just this year I stopped doing that for Christmas though.

Gigs said...

We just went through a conversation about this with one of my sister in laws. Here are our rules: With birthday parties with school friends, or gifts from local friends etc., we always write a note. With family we employ the "in person" rule. (If a gift is received in person and the giver can watch the givee open and appreciate the gift, an oral thank you suffices.) This cuts down on note writing for all us when we have our large Christmas/birthday gatherings. If we get gifts in the mail, we always write notes. We try to do that within a month of getting something. I used to be VERY punctual and detailed with thank you notes, but sadly it is something that has gotten a bit more lax over the years, mainly because I realized no one else in our family was writing them at all, so I wasn't sure why I was putting in so much effort... Just the way I was raised I guess!

michelline said...

We never send them. If the present is received in person, a verbal thanks suffices. If it's received in the mail or otherwise opened away from the giver, then a telephone call or an email is good.

Andrea said...

If its recieved in person a thank you should suffice, in the mail we always send a thank you note, or email (really only for my mother and father in law I love them so they make it so easy on me).

Mrs Furious said...

Baby is not cooperating...

I will be back. I really will!

moi.bloggirl said...

We never send them. I typically call the gift giver (or email the gift giver) within a week after gift is received (either in person or via mail). So my thank-yous are via phone or via email.

emmyjw said...

I send thank yous to my hubbys grandma because I know she loves them, and I send them to friends who do something unexpected and great, and the rest of the time I am very hit and miss because let's face it,4 kids at home seriously derails my ability to think clearly.

Suzy said...

I used to make them for fun before I went back to work FT. Now I buy packs of them at the dollar store and stash them in my purse, at my office, and a few places at home to write something off quickly before I forget. I'm lucky if I don't. But I love getting them and sending them. I hope this isn't a dying tradition.

Sandcastle Momma said...

I used to send them but with 3 kids that's just one of the many things that got away from me. If a gift we receive is not given in person I call or send an email within the next few days. I do, however, still send them to some of my older relatives. They are from such a different time and thank you notes are expected - and if my 80 year old aunt can make it to the store to buy something for the kids then she gets a handwritten note and she gets it pretty quick LOL Anybody 60 or younger just gets a call or an email.

Mrs Furious said...

Well I thought I'd have time to write something in the post... ah well... not yet.

I was really good with thank yous for a while there. I did fine all through our pre/post wedding time and after Kid. But now... I feel really badly about it but I just can't get it together after Baby. I think I got all of Kid's b'day ones out and I tried to get her to send out one's for xmas... but I didn't do any for us and I didn't get Baby's xmas or b'day one out. I decided to scrap xmas and just move on to her b'day but now it has been a couple months and I can't remember what was a xmas gift and what was a b'day gift. (yes it is written down somewhere but who knows where I put that list!?!). They get so much stuff in such a small window of time that it is really overwhelming and I can't keep it all straight!
I think for the future I am getting those really simple fill in the blank kid's thank you's and just immediately filling in the line when they open gifts instead of making a separate list. For mine and Mr f's gifts?... who knows? Like Gigs said often times I'm the only one who is writing them. I do want to send them to my g'parents and My Dad's wife (because she seems to get really mad if you don't...) but other than that I think an email should suffice.

Mrs Furious said...

Sandcastle Momma,
I like the over 60/under 60 rule. I'm adopting that one immediately!

Jennifer said...

Don't do them. Usually if he is getting a gift it is in person and he says thank you to them in person. If he gets one in the mail a phone call is made.

I even stopped sending Christmas cards. lol.

P.O.M. said...

I kinda do the same thing that SandCastle Mama does. I always send thank you cards to my grandparents or older folks (boyfriends parents, etc.) For everything, even if it's just a nice visit.

But friends... we'll they get e-cards or a nice email. If it was for something official(Graduation, Wedding, etc.) then I would send a thank you card within the month.

Then again, i don't have many gifts coming in right now...

So anyone out there who wants to send me a gift - I will promise to write you a thank you note!

Cara said...

I am terrible at the kind of stuff. although after interviews I always send a thank you note, but thats because I want them to pay me eventually. haha.

Shirls said...

I only have one friend who sends thank you notes, everytime I receive one I think "how wonderful" and I truly appreciate it, I also think I should get my butt in gear and follow suit but somehow that part never quite happens.. I hope she never stops

Mrs Furious said...

Well I'm somewhat relieved to hear that many of you don't do them or do them with my same level of infrequency!
Maybe I'll do some tonight....

Nutmeg said...

Emily Post says that if the gift was opened in front of the giver no thank you note is necessary.

I follow that rule.

Also, for gifts received for Eli's christening, I put my husband in charge of that. I am not religious and it was a sacrifice on my part to have him Christened.

People were kind and generous. Unfortunately, despite me buying the notes for him, and making a list of the gifts and givers, he never sent a single one.

Other than that, we've followed the thank yous for gifts not opened in person (except shower gifts, which was easy because I didn't have a kid)

Deb said...

I'm staring at a list of thank-you's that have to be written, too. It's pretty short, though, so my angst is only at wrist-slitting levels.

I have a trick: most of the time, people just bring gifts for The Ambassador. So I sit him in the highchair before breakfast with a crayon and paper and let him go to town. Then I write a big (with a Sharpie), short thank-you note to the person and put that beauty in the mail. People are THRILLED to get his artwork (saps) and I rarely have to write more than 10 words.

I do the big, formal monogrammed stationery thing if someone gives us something, but I don't think that's happened in... ohh... about 20 months or so. ;)

Heather said...

Woman, you are suffering from perfectionism again! The thank you notes you showed look funny. FWIW, as soon as I get a thank you note, I throw it away. It's the GESTURE of saying I got your gift and appreciate it. That's all. Just use those funny ones and get over it.

Sorry to be blunt, I'm super tired. :)

Marie said...

I also do the kids art for thank you's. My girls are 4,3, and 9months. When they recieve a gift I have them draw a picture and I write "Thank you for my gift. Love (insert name).", fold it up, and mail it off. (and if they aren't in the mood to do said art, I take an old one and throw a "thank you" on it...shhhh!!). I also only do it for things they get in the mail or delivered by someone other than the gift giver. Otherwise they usually open things in front of the gift giver and say thank you on the spot.

I TRIED the whole formal "thank you's" for every gift, but frankly they just get too much stuff and I am too tired/old/no desire/(beaten down and defeated...jk) to do them. So this is our solution.

MizFit said...

Im so neurotic with these Id almost rather not get the gifts :)

obsess about em until they are OFF MY PLATE.

ahh jewish guilt.

MizFit

Mrs Furious said...

I like the kid art idea. I always think I'll do that... but with Kid's it is just too much... it is hard enough to get her to sign all the cards. Dammit my kids are too loved!

I think maybe my new thing will be postcards with just a "Thanks" written on the back. I also need to put our addresses into my computer so I can print labels. Addressing everything takes me a whole day.

Mrs Furious said...

Also sadly the MAJORITY of our gifts are mailed to us.

I tried emailing pics of the girls playing with their gifts and still that wasn't enough for some recipients.

Okay here is what I'm really going to do:
under 60: email w picture of kids playing w/toys and big "Thanks".
over 60: nice written note.

the only thing outside of this rule will be b'day party gifts which Kid & I will write and she will sign.


Now I think I'm scrapping all the one's I haven't done from Xmas... moving on!

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