Moving is stressful. More stressful than I had remembered. Made all the worse by the fact that I have no local support system. Yes I know in time that will change... but that is "in time" as in not any help to me NOW when I am in fact in need of support.
Add to all that that the house is chaotic and in various states of unpacked/packed/and just plain filthy since who's going to bother cleaning a toilet when you haven't even found a place to store your toilet paper?!
On top of all that is the fact that Mr F's job is a bit more time consuming than I had thought it would be. At his old job he would actually call me... to chat no less... he was a constant presence on the blog. In many ways our marriage was better than ever lately because he was able to stay up to date on all my homebound on goings. Now he's got a glass office... and... um... he can't exactly hang out on the wife's blog all day. Fine I get that. I do. The problem with all this is that we went from best friends to mere acquaintances practically over night... and during the time when I need a friend most. He's the only person I know and he doesn't have time to talk to me. See? Well Mr F didn't... and that's creating some extra tension on the home front ;) He wasn't really getting that while he got a new job with fun people and locations to scout... I lost my whole social network... and with his busier hours I felt like he wasn't being my friend anymore either.
I realize a lot of families live a life like this. One where one parent comes home in time to tuck their kids in bed and then works some more. I get that not everyone has time to "chat" at work... but this is like a 180 out of nowhere for us. And I was feeling very isolated before Mr F decided to go all antisocial on me. It's made me really regret moving here and I'm not sure the job is worth the loss of family time. I'm not sure Mr F would have thought so either if he'd had time to process everything before we just up and came down here. I'm regretting enrolling Kid in the private school and wishing I'd invested the same amount in a camper so I could travel with the kids instead of being stuck here... alone.
Things will change. I know. But that isn't immediate. It takes a long time to establish roots somewhere. I've been out exploring and doing the things "you're supposed to do" around here... and it's something to do... but it isn't fulfilling. I'm still alone. I still have no one to talk to. I might as well be in a foreign land where I don't speak the language. And I'm not just saying that... I really feel out of my element here. It is the weirdest feeling.