Friday, September 5, 2008

Don't Worry Honey I'll Keep That Pizza HOT For You

Friday is typically pizza night around here. There's a local gourmet organic pizza place just up the street and the kids and I walked up to get ours last night (um... ever try to walk a large pizza and 2 kids home 3 blocks... Mrs F didn't really think that through). Mr F was working late doing a photo shoot and I decided we could wait no more and broke into that beautiful basil covered baby. I didn't want to ruin his dinner though... and decided it was my *wifely* duty to keep it warm in the oven.

The problem is I decided to use the small oven (what?! It had been a long walk and I wasn't functioning at 100%)
After a couple of minutes I could smell *something*. Something that made me nervous and when I bounded up from the table not wanting to have burned the $20 pizza I saw smoke coming out the vent. SMOKE! That made me really nervous and I was prepared for the something terrible inside. However I was still a little in denial and thought... "Hey maybe that box is REALLY hot and charred and smoking"... yeah maybe Mrs F.

As it turns out the box was actually touching the heating element and it was ON FIRE. Not a little bit of fire. Added bonus the FRONT of the box was in flames. Ever tried to take out a burning box... heavy "full-of-pizza" box... by the flaming front part of the box? Ever tried to do that calmly in front of your terrified Kid? Well I decided to whap it with a pot holder. That didn't help AT ALL (it did manage to knock the cardboard ash all over the pizza... shh... it won't kill anyone if they don't know). Now the fire is bigger and I'm frantically thinking "Oh SHIT this is actually getting worse and it is a LONG walk to get this outside!" Then I thought "Hold up Mrs F this is NOT a grease fire you can put water on that baby." And I did. I opened the firey top and doused it... sure the pizza was a little damp after that but it was salvageable. After I stopped shaking you better believe I went ahead and ate that ashy pizza!

P.S. These pictures do not do this justice. I'm still using the broken camera and couldn't close in on the damage. That burn hole is really the size of a salad plate. It was scary!!!


Haley said...

Oh my! Glad it wasn't worse!

I like the fact that you track down organic produce, but happily eat burnt cardboard. My kinda lady. :)

Mrs Furious said...

Oh I was scared and I assure you Kid (recent Safety Town graduate that she is) was scared out of her mind... but my primary concern the whole time was "do not lose that pizza!" Sometimes $20 feels like $200 ;)


I had an incident in my kitchen with just plain ole mac and cheese---now my boys say evertime I go near the stove-"are you going to press the right button-Mommy?" They are very fearful that I am going to start another small fire. I had left a potholder on one burner and the pot on another....I turned on the burner and walked back to the bedroom for a minute...the smoke alarm started going off-I apparently started the wrong burner..the potholder was ablaze-...I grabbed it and threw it into the sink and turned on the water(and it wasn't a normal was one of those silicone thingees from pampered chef...I prob gave everyone cancer setting it on was so smokey -we had to open all the windows and go down to the neighbors-there were ashes all over the counters and stove...what a mess!Might I was winter and it snowed the next day...we had every window open..My kids aren't very confident of me in the kitchen and neither is my husband.

By the way...I couldn't get the smoke alarm to stay off...I was holding my youngest which was only a couple of months while waving a towel to get the smoke away from the detector...while the other 2 were nervous that something real bad was going to happen-the smoke detector is ear piercing-every time I would stop waving the towel-it would start back up.

it was quite the show.

Julie said...

Sometimes $20 feels like $200 ;) That's funny because it's so true.

Mrs Furious said...

Sunshine Mom,
Oh jeez! That's bad. Whenever I'd roast chicken at our old house the smoke detector would go off (speaking of which I'm wondering if we don't have any here... must go check on that!) and I'd have to stand on a chair and bash it (away from chandelier!) with a wooden spoon until the battery would fall out. It would never stop on it's own.

Mr Furious said...

Obviously you need some practice on your *wifely* duties...

Dinah Soar said...

Baby's response-"uh oh"-- is hilarious.....too funny..out of the mouths of babes.

I caught a steak in the broiler on fire one time..panicked and called the fire dept. It made the front page of our tiny town newspaper. So embarrassing....

Elizabeth said...

The dachshunds are afraid of the smell of smoke, especially cooking smoke.

They know it signals the Evil Beeping Noise of Doom. Which they hate. neurotic little beasts.

A few winters ago I worked in Virginia. They housed us and we had communal kitchens. My kitchenmate was making wings, she went to open the oven, I guess her gloves were pretty saturated with wing making grease because they caught fire.

I was trying to be calm and talk in a not-panic-y voice. So I'm saying "you-you're on fire." She manages to look IN the oven, but not at her gloves, doesn't see her gloves are on fire as I continue to try to explain this (I think I must have JUST woken up or something, so I wasn't particularly articulate) "No, your (here I loose all the words for gloves or hands, or anything, but still have this totally flat tone of voice) "You're on fire, not the oven..."
Finally she sees her gloves and starts swearing, throws them in the sink.
Good times!

Mrs Furious said...

Dinah Soar,
Late last night Baby said "cook cook.... hot", I guess she's still processing it ;)

Mame tells me you've arrived in NC. Email me your new contact info.

Missives From Suburbia said...

I like that you've already impressed upon Baby the dangers of fire in a very dramatic and clearly memorable way. Now that's good parenting!

I was cooking something last week that required some very hot grease. My husband was concerned when he walked into the kitchen and spied the fire extinguisher on the floor next to the stove. I was just trying to be prepared!

Elizabeth said...

Ah yes, I'm here, however I have no permanent home as of yet.

I'll let you know when I have a home and therefore an address.

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