Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Proof Of Life
Today was a big day... well I guess I should say this morning was a big morning. Weeks ago I had signed Baby up for a toddler class run through the public school system here. I had been looking forward to getting her out and about and a bit more social during our long days without Kid. Of course I had assumed I'd be fully upright and functional when I did that. Anyone who has attended anything like this knows that circle time involves a lot of sitting and up and downs and hookieing and pookieing. So I was a bit apprehensive to go today but I had also committed to our spot and didn't want to miss out on introductions and whatnot. In retrospect I needn't have bothered... as there weren't any introductions and no one even acknowledged my existence... but hey hindsight is 20/20.
I could barely sleep last night I was so worried about a lot of what was going to go into getting out of the house: getting Baby dressed, putting on her shoes, going down the front steps, driving, wearing something other than old yoga pants.... but most of all getting Baby in and out of her carseat. As any parent knows that can break your back... even when you're... you know... not broken. Baby fought me on most of the steps involved having gotten quite used to her new routine of getting up and staying in her PJs all day while she watches TV and eats cookies. But once out the door her attitude improved. When I opened the van door I said "Can you get all the way in your seat by yourself?" hopefully. "Yes I Do!" came Baby's enthusiastic response. And she did! She even took the time to pull all of her buckles out of the way before turning around and sitting down. Phew! That was way easier than I feared.
Even driving was better than I had anticipated. With the help of a cushy pillow I was virtually pain free. Then the parking lot happened. It was covered in ice... which I didn't notice until I had gotten us out of the car... or I assure you I wouldn't have gotten out. I was filled with real terror still able to vividly remember the pain of my first fall. To avoid it I had to tromp all over an uneven hillside which was not much better... especially since I had to carry Baby to do it.
We made it though. I proved that I can leave the house, that Baby can get in and out of the car... should some type of emergency arise. And that is important to know since feeling dependent all the time is not good for one's psyche. But the whole event ... which was less than an hour start to finish... wore me out. I mean I feel like I just ran a marathon and then was put through the "spank machine". I'm couch bound for the rest of the day. It was too early and I won't be making that mistake again.