Monday, May 18, 2009


Do you ever feel like you are on the verge of success... but... you just can't see it yet?
That's kind of how I feel these days.

Overall I've been sticking within a pretty good calorie range and working out consistently. Sure I've had a few bad days... but my approach to this (this time) is that I need to approach my exercise and eating with more reasonable expectations for LIFE. I can't control everything as I could when my days were much more predictable and I could count on a certain amount of exercise time everyday. That just isn't my life anymore and I need to adjust the way I had done things in order to allow for me to be more consistently successful... instead of in fits and spurts followed by long periods of FAILURE.

Let's face it the fits and spurts just haven't gotten me very far this year. I have gone in one year from being my thinnest and fittest to just kind of feeling ho hum (okay sure I had a legitimate injury). I've gained 5% body fat, and while I'm only a pound or two over my maintenance range... everything I own is too tight and I feel badly about myself. With some reflection I feel like it is time to realize that what had worked for me before isn't working and I need a new plan that can give me results (albeit more slowly) and allow me to maintain once I get back in my goal range without taking away from my responsibilities on the home front. I just don't have an hour every night to devote to exercise... and if that is my plan... and I don't have a back up plan I will fail to meet my goals.

I'm fortunate in that I have figured out exactly what input and output I need to lose weight and to maintain weight. Unfortunately I am very much an all or nothing personality and so I either meet all those requirements or I don't. And with a new schedule and crazier kids I just can't put out the output necessary to offset my input. What does this mean? Well, that the equation, do to current life circumstances, is off. I need a new equation. I need to ALLOW myself to more consistently perform at a lesser level rather than giving 100% less frequently. That is very difficult for me to do. It is very hard for me to walk away from a routine that works and try starting over with a whole new routine. I like my old routine, it works, it's my friend... but it just doesn't work for my life anymore. Make sense? It's been a hard pill to swallow... obviously... and it has taken me an entire year to accept it.

So I've altered my workouts a bit... to a level I think I can stick to. The problem is that (as would be expected) I just am not losing at the level I have come to expect from myself. I feel like I am being challenged and the typical response to this type of challenge is to give in and sabotage instead of sticking the course. I mean I'm at the point where I am starting to question if there is something else going on (early menopause? thyroid? tumor?) You know what I mean. You get so frustrated you start grasping at straws to explain why things just don't seem to be coming together the way you wanted them to. But I also know from experience that those feelings always come before the results. So, with that in mind, I feel like the results I want are just around the corner and I need to toe the line even if I'm frustrated... and hope my commitment can stay the course just a little bit longer.


Staci said...


I think you'll be amazed at the changes your body will make once you start doing strength training (30 day shred).

Also, muscle helps rev up the metabolism...which is always a good thing.

GOOD LUCK! I can't wait to hear your thoughts on the workouts & to see your transformation. :)


Mrs Furious said...

Thanks... I been really struggling to just stick to it these days. I'm trying to do shorter (30-40 min) intese hills on the treadmill instead of 60 mins (I still get one or two long workout in when I can). And today (finally... it's been A YEAR) Mr F set up my pilates reformer so I can start doing that again. I think that's going to be huge. Then I'm going to do the 30 day Shred when I'm Up North... and think that will be a good challenge and fit into my day (I won't have any co-parent so kids with me 24/7). I think it is a good plan. Than when I come back and settle back into the fall routine I am going to put a lot of thought into a good doable routine for maintenance.

Deb said...

You're still a badass in my book.

If it's any consolation at all, I struggle with this mindset, too. I went from racing triathlons at a fairly competitive old lady level, and now I... what? Power walk the lake four times a week? Do yoga? Yeah... I'm not sure I'll ever mentally get over the hump of knowing I could do more physically, even though there simply isn't room for that in my life right now. For now, I tell myself "someday", and that's how I get through life at much slower (and less fit) pace.

2kidsandtired said...

I just bought the 30 day shred on ebay. Use this coupon code for 15% off by 5/26. CMD78PW226BF (I did a buy it for now for $8.49 plus $3 s/h). They had 25 available.

I get the time thing, too. Between everything else that gets done why is it me who cannot take care of myself? I will try and will pray you get your motivation back too. I am thinking between age 35 and 36everything seemed to slow WAY down, metabolism wise. Or maybe I sat down that year...

My son used to take 27 pills, drops, and meds a day when a baby. Never missed one. I cant even remember to take a vitamin! Husband set my phone to an alarm saying, "your family loves you. take your vitamin." Last week I ignored it. Last night, I even cursed at it but still didnt get off the couch.

katieo said...

But I also know from experience that those feelings always come before the results. So, with that in mind, I fell like the results I want are just around the corner and I need to toe the line even if I'm frustratedwise words!! I think the key to maintenance is always changing it up, re-evaluating what works, what doesn't and changing up your game to fit life.

(but who am I to talk? I haven't worked out in 8 months. Right now I'm trying to tell myself I'd rather lose 30 pounds this pregnancy than 60...)

Marie said...

Here's my general feeling on life (well, for us anyways). We will work and work to figure out something that fits us and works for us (like work schedules, jobs, etc..). And finally we will figure out what it is that will work for us at that time. All goes well...for a bit. Then life changes and we're working to figure out what will work for us now. I think its just the natural ebb and flow...things fit for a bit, then life changes (new jobs, moving, kids get older and have new demands...). And I think its emphasized by having kids. They change so quickly and with that their demands change so much. The difference in demand between my 2yo, 4yo, and 5yo are huge..even just between the 4 and 5yo.

You've done AMAZING with your routine...but life's changed. So you'll find a new routine that works for you now...and in 5 years I bet you'll have a totally different one for that stage of your life/family.

(and have you ever googled a thyroid quiz to see if you have a problem? all the questions are "are you tired? low energy? sluggish?", yeah!! i can pretty much convince myself that I'm a goner and then dh is like "well, you DO have 3 kids...maybe thats why your tired". Well, DUH! But it would be "nice" if I just needed a pill to bring back the energy!!)

Kiki said...

YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN DO THIS!!! I'll be thinking of you and hoping you can find a spare minute to get on your treadmill or reformer and get some quality workout time in!

So excited to see how it goes for you with the reformer hooked back up, I know you'll find your groove...we are all wishing you only the best!!!

Mrs Furious said...

I haven't been a badass in quite sometime. I'm bringing it back... if only to prove that it's possible.

36 eh?... yeah I have actually been feeling like for whatever reason I have hit another metabolism slow down.

30 pounds rather than 60.. what does that mean? You only gained 30 (I'll kill you) ?!!

"They change so quickly and with that their demands change so much. The difference in demand between my 2yo, 4yo, and 5yo are huge..even just between the 4 and 5yo.
exactly... I would have thought that as Baby got older things would get easier but I forgot that that really doesn't come into play until after age 4... they actually get needier until then.

I'm really hoping that the reformed is the key thing for me... we'll see!

Haley said...

Oh, I feel ya. I think I may finally be ready to start moving back in the direction I was headed a year ago -- towards being really comfortable in my body. I don't know why I sabotaged myself the way I did in the last few months, but it's resulted in a 10 pound gain that I think I'm finally ready to address and remedy. But then, haven't I said that before...? Sigh. Just gotta keep chugging along.

I think the notion of finding a new plan every time your life shifts and evolves is a really good way to think about it. Unfortunatly, the solution at one point, is not the solution at another -- maybe some people are lucky enough to find some permanent answer, but I think most of us need to keep hustling and trying new things.

Mrs Furious said...

We are going to turn the beat around.

Haley said...

And drop it likes its hot, sister.

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