Progress?

Do you ever feel like you are on the verge of success... but... you just can't see it yet?
That's kind of how I feel these days.

Overall I've been sticking within a pretty good calorie range and working out consistently. Sure I've had a few bad days... but my approach to this (this time) is that I need to approach my exercise and eating with more reasonable expectations for LIFE. I can't control everything as I could when my days were much more predictable and I could count on a certain amount of exercise time everyday. That just isn't my life anymore and I need to adjust the way I had done things in order to allow for me to be more consistently successful... instead of in fits and spurts followed by long periods of FAILURE.

Let's face it the fits and spurts just haven't gotten me very far this year. I have gone in one year from being my thinnest and fittest to just kind of feeling ho hum (okay sure I had a legitimate injury). I've gained 5% body fat, and while I'm only a pound or two over my maintenance range... everything I own is too tight and I feel badly about myself. With some reflection I feel like it is time to realize that what had worked for me before isn't working and I need a new plan that can give me results (albeit more slowly) and allow me to maintain once I get back in my goal range without taking away from my responsibilities on the home front. I just don't have an hour every night to devote to exercise... and if that is my plan... and I don't have a back up plan I will fail to meet my goals.

I'm fortunate in that I have figured out exactly what input and output I need to lose weight and to maintain weight. Unfortunately I am very much an all or nothing personality and so I either meet all those requirements or I don't. And with a new schedule and crazier kids I just can't put out the output necessary to offset my input. What does this mean? Well, that the equation, do to current life circumstances, is off. I need a new equation. I need to ALLOW myself to more consistently perform at a lesser level rather than giving 100% less frequently. That is very difficult for me to do. It is very hard for me to walk away from a routine that works and try starting over with a whole new routine. I like my old routine, it works, it's my friend... but it just doesn't work for my life anymore. Make sense? It's been a hard pill to swallow... obviously... and it has taken me an entire year to accept it.

So I've altered my workouts a bit... to a level I think I can stick to. The problem is that (as would be expected) I just am not losing at the level I have come to expect from myself. I feel like I am being challenged and the typical response to this type of challenge is to give in and sabotage instead of sticking the course. I mean I'm at the point where I am starting to question if there is something else going on (early menopause? thyroid? tumor?) You know what I mean. You get so frustrated you start grasping at straws to explain why things just don't seem to be coming together the way you wanted them to. But I also know from experience that those feelings always come before the results. So, with that in mind, I feel like the results I want are just around the corner and I need to toe the line even if I'm frustrated... and hope my commitment can stay the course just a little bit longer.