Thursday, January 29, 2009

If You're Already Depressed Don't Watch This Video

It might not even be a good idea to put this up. But seeing as I'm always trying to keep things real around here I will. Long story short it's just another day wherein I wake up to find out we owe even more unexpected money to more people. It never ends. It just never freaking ends.

Oh... and... right after I shot that our brand new washing machine broke (I'm sure it's covered under warrenty... but still). It's like the Twilight Zone over here.


TUWABVB said...

I can't recall if I've commented here before, but I've been a long time lurker. I just felt compelled to show you some support after that video. You broke my heart (although I don't think that sad music in the background helped either. But I really liked it whatever it was). Anyway, I just want to say that it's okay to be frustrated - especially when you feel like you are doing everything to get ahead. Sometimes it feels like you just can't catch a break. And it sucks that its like this for a lot of people - regardless of their financial responsibility in the past. So, I'm sending ((hugs)), but also a few ideas?

1. Tell the school that you simply can't afford the deposit and that you will have an answer for them in April. Ask them to hold her spot in case..but that it's most likely she won't be going there.

2. Call the other school and tell them you NEED an answer.

3. Call the hospitals/doctors and explain the battle you are having with the insurance company. Explain that you cannot pay them while this is pending and see what arrangements can be made.

4. Share the burden - you can't do this all yourself and you need to talk to someone - ideally, Mr. F. I'm sure he feels it, and he may even feel somewhat responsible for all of this, but you can't shoulder the worries alone. And just remember, THANK god he loves his job, right?

Good luck honey. I'm thinking of you.

Mrs Furious said...

Thank you.

the music is Allison Krauss "Forget About It"... it is totally my depression music of choice ;)

good ideas. My mom is now going to front the school deposit. (phew) I will call the hospital tomorrow. I never thought of that but I'm sure they have a way to do a payment plan. I was really worried about these stupid bills bringing down my credit score if I couldn't pay them in time! And if we need the loan I'll need our FICO score to stay high!!

katieo said...

I totally know the "throw in the towel" feeling, crappy insurance, medical bills, high taxes for self employment, one income, well-meaning husband that doesn't quite get the entirety of the situation.

Really, I'm sorry. I've had plenty of teary days exactly like that and it sucks. Hopefully tomorrow will feel a little better.

I agree with tuwabvb. You never know what can get waived and worked out until you ask. Which is fairly annoying, but it better than trying to work out an impossible alternative in your head.

Robin said...

My mom went through some really hard times with medical bills. (husband with severe diabetes, daughter with severe diabetes, breast cancer...) She has told me that as long as you write a letter to the hospital stating, "I can only pay you x, and I will pay you x every month," and include a check (for whatever amount you can afford.) They cannot claim that you aren't paying your bills. She paid her medical bills down $10 a month. Seriously. Call them.

I'm so sorry that this whole situation hasn't worked out the way you had hoped it would. Hopefully things will turn around.

TUWABVB said...

Good luck sweetie - we are all pulling for you! And thanks for the music - I'm definitely going to add it to my Itunes.

Marie said...

(((((hugs)))) I know the feelings/emotions/brink of sucks. Especially when you've cut and cut and it still isn't enough.

I'd call the school..see if you could even pay the deposit over three months if thats what you want to do. Or think about what your going to do if she doesn't get into a school..if the tuition just isn't in the budget no matter what then forget a deposit. Definitely call the hospital billing department. They will make arrangements with you. And call the insurance company and find out what the FREAK their problem is...get a date for when it should be cleared up and follow up by calling the hospital and seeing if they were paid and then recalling the insurance company to find out why they weren't. Its a major PITA but at least you'll know whats going on and where its at.

There's always the call and see if you can lower your cable bill or see if you can get cheaper insurance through another company...hey, if it frees up $20/month, then "pay" yourself that and go out once a month or'll feel better just getting out.

And do you guys have a Redbox nearby? Check out their website ( and register your cell phone. Every monday they text you a code for a free nights rental. And its only $1 a night every other day... Makes for some free/cheap entertainment!!!

Jennifer said...

Ugh. Times are very tough. I know it too. Just to give you an idea .. I just got an 813.00 propane bill, a 320.00 dentist bill, a 340.00 plowing bill, a 107.00 eye dr bill for small boy, on top of all my regular bills. Just for this month. Yay me! It sucks ass.

Plus, you need to remember that you are paying almost a college level tuition for kid! People save years to pay this! Not that it changes anything, but you shouldn't feel bad about not being able to continue that!

You could homeschool kid until she gets into a charter if worse comes to worse.


BsOnlyToots said...

I've never commented before, but I feel so bad for you today I just had to send some hugs your way! Times are tough for everyone right now and it does suck. You are an amazing woman for just picking up and leaving everything behind for Mt.F's new job, don't forget that! It really sucks that it all didn't work out they way you had planned, and I hope you get a turn of good luck soon! Try kicking the broken washer, if it doesn't make it work, at least you let out some frustration! ;) Hope you feel better real soon!

gooddog said...

Mrs. F-
I am thinking about you.
Not much else to say except that. Hang in there girly.

Haley said...

Oh dude, feeling dumb for sending you some silly email about the Snuggie after seeing what a day you're having!

I'm not sure of Mr. F's company has someone in HR who deals with insurance, but when I had ridiculous medical bills that I couldn't pay I discovered this wonderful bulldog of a woman at my grad school who's sole job was to deal with the insurance company on your behalf. His company might not have someone specifically for that, but the HR peeps might be helpful. Just a thought.

Here's hoping you wake up tomorrow morning and feel a little better (and that nothing else happens!!).


Me, Myself and I said...

Oh honey. I am so sorry for all that you are going through. I totally teared up right along with you. Everyone has those "I gave up everything..." moments. And it sucks ass. Just know we are all here for you, and love you, and keep venting away!

<<<***Hugs and kisses***>>>

inkelywinkely said...

I just wanted to comment on the issue of school you raised momentarily. I know you wanted to homeschool. Maybe this is God leading you down that path with all this craziness.

Take solace in knowing that even if we don't see it or understand, EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

Hell, maybe this crazy move, and the finance issues, and the loneliness was all just to FINALLY push you to do what you have felt in your heart this whole time... You know?

I will be praying for your family, and sending you good energy.

Think of us, we are "this" close to getting out of the inlaws finally and back into out house. Maybe by next month?!!!

Tracey said...

FRack. You wrote a warning and everything and I still watched it.

Sadly, I could probably put my face in your spot and say the same things (except for breaking my butt. Haven't done that yet. Though I AM anticipating that I will need a surgery... JOY!)

Misery really doesn't love company, does it? I'm sorry you're having the same problems as I...

Mrs Furious said...

"we are "this" close to getting out of the inlaws finally and back into out house."
And I agree about the homeschooling. I've been thinking that as of late. Interesting.

it never occurred to me to ask for help from the HR lady... good one. Plus that lets me delegate this issue to Mr F! bonus!

thanks for delurking :)
"Try kicking the broken washer, if it doesn't make it work, at least you let out some frustration! ;)"
I just might!

I was worried that this video might be too much for you!

Awesome. I'm calling them tomorrow.

I think there is a redbox at the grocery store. I never knew what it was.

Thank God we don't need plowing... good grief that would be too much to bear! Keep your head up!


Me, Myself & I,
"and keep venting away!"
I hate to do it to you all... but if I don't I'll explode ;)

Thanks again everyone for all your support. It really makes a difference in my life. REALLY.

Mrs Furious said...

Oh me too. I'd be happier to be the only one feeling like this.

chocolate... must... get... more...

julie said...

Oh, Mrs F, I just got a chance to watch the video. You broke my heart. I cried along with you.

It's insane about the medical bills. Look into all of the got some good ones.

You are doing everything right. It does feel like you just can't get a break. The school issue is also so frustrating. Argh. I wish I could make it all better.

We are here for you. We love you.

northerngurl said...

I really feel for you Mrs. F. You are doing a great job though, and I admire your honesty on the blog. Hang in.

Claire said...

My heart goes out to you - my husband had the IRS come after us and it was brutal - and I think of the new Secy. of the Treasury - what - owing $35,000 to the IRS - and getting away with it until his new job came up - where is the help for the little people??? Sorry - didn't mean to go into a political rant! There are a lot of good ideas put out there in the comments - with all the resources available now if I could do it all over again I would homeschool my children. Take care of yourself.

Lori said...

Oh Mrs. F, I so feel you! We are also having some tough times here and I too don't want to screw up my credit, etc... Things looming that "we" can't control.
You are so brave for putting it out there. Know that we are rootin' for you and keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. I keep hearing "This too shall pass..." --- whatever that means ;-/

Kiki said...

First of all, look at all the people who have come out of the woodwork to shower some love on Mrs.F, that just warms my heart.

Second, I totally teared up with you, I have been there....and its sucks....big time suckage! {{hugs}}

Thirdly, We love you...I'm sure we all wish there was some way we could shoulder part of the burden for least I do.

Mr Furious said...

I'm not betting on any satisfaction from the financial/h.r. person at work. It's not that big a company, so there is no one who can be tasked with that. Anybody dealing with insurance is swamped with the company's attempts to switch to cheaper (read: worse) insurance for most employees, and higher deductibles or HSAs as an alternative.

Thank God I'm not in the same boat as many other people at work who are getting screwed with a worse insurance plan than us, but they're young, healthy and single. We are a family that actually needs and uses the insurance. There's only one other person on the magazine with kids and they are keeping both families in the current plan and covering us fully. The plan sucks complete ass, and I'm not even gonna say "it could be worse"...this situation is bullshit.

Don't worry, Mrs F and everyone...I'm not (totally) deluded. I'm just totally repressed.

Mr Furious said...

Can we get some fucking universal healthcare in this country now, or what? This crap is pushing us to the brink, and I make a decent the hell do people with less money or more expenses manage?

Medical costs are the number one cause of personal bankruptcies. It's now crystal clear to me how and why.

julie said...

Can we get some fucking universal healthcare in this country now, or what?


Renee said...

Oh, Mrs. F...I'm in tears right now after watching your video (the sound was distorted last night so I couldn't watch it)...and I LOVE Allison've gotten some great advice in comments but I did want to put my 2 cents in regarding the medical bills as I have LOTS of experience w/ this over the past 3 years (and well over $100,000.00 in medical bills from husband's traumatic brain injury)...even with good insurance, we still had to fight over getting things paid, etc. and bills came in literally for a year...there were many days when I just wanted to run was so confusing and I had no idea what was covered, what wasn't and IS completely is so hard to understand and I felt like I needed to go to school to interpret and understand all of the payouts, etc. and I have never sat down to even figure out how much the insurance company paid vs. what we paid because I just threw in the towel on trying to figure it all out. It literally took well over a year before it was all settled and now the process is being repeated somewhat with the seizure two months ago and new bills rolling in that I'm not even sure what they are for. The good news I have (and that Robin commented on as well) long as you are communicating with the doctors regarding payments and paying something in good faith (whatever it is you can afford-even if it is only $10) you will be fine. There were some payments that we made very late and/or waited on paying until insurance paid their part and I couldn't believe how long this took at times..but our credit report does not show anything negative in regards to this....just try not to let this medical stuff burden you (as hard as I know it is to have an overwhelming amount of bills) the ones that have to be paid first-taxes, etc. and don't stress about the medical bills.

On the school front-I can't believe they are already expecting a deposit but it sounds like you have that covered for now. Will you be able to get the deposit back if Kid doesn't go back? I am stressing about this school choice thing here as well and think I finally have my choices narrowed down....I have learned that contrary to what they said at the magnet forum, it is based on when you get your application in and if you are among the 1st you are pretty much guaranteed your 1st choice...I plan on being at the central office Tuesday morning after I drop the kid's off at preschool to hand deliver mine so if you'd like I'd be happy to swing by and pick you up and we can ride over together.

Hang in there Mrs. F...I know there are days when it feels like you just want to hide under the covers but just keep repeating this mantra-'this too, shall pass'!!!

HUGS, HUGS, HUGS and hope it helps a little to know that you have many thinking about you and sending good vibes your way.

Teresa said...

I just came across your blog this past week. Your video really struck a cord as it brings back many memories of my past is regards to finances, schools, kids etc. Most commentors have covered all the bases with suggestions, so I just want wish you all the best and do take care. ((hugs))

angie said...

Mrs. F, I have said what needs being said on the phone earlier. Where is that magic wand when you need it. It seems so unfair and I wish it would go away.

Mr. F, check out Krugman's column today...just think of all these jobs that are being lost and the all those people are losing their insurance. What a nightmare. We need universal health care last week.

Anonymous said...

I am just now catching up on your blog...

I truly feel for you. We have been living in a terrible limbo the past year because of my husband's company change (a change that was supposed to be for the better--and might still eventually BE for the better, we'll see), but for some reason, has had strings attached and disappointing "bad timing", etc.), and I have felt everything that you voiced in your video.

I am wondering...why not forgo the school deposit? Kid's school/education is one thing that you definitely can control, and a lot of money can be saved from just that one change... If she does not get in to the magnet school, you have the option of homeschooling, even if it's for only one year...

I am keeping you all in my prayers!

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