But I was crouched down on our front porch.
Moments earlier, while Mr F was walking Canine, I saw him signal me with his flashlight.
I did what anyone would do and started waving back like I was flagging a plane in for landing.
I ran to the kitchen (where the door window looks directly over the garbage can... in which Mr F would soon be depositing Canine's "deposit") and made a crazy monster face. Since it was pitch black out and the lights in the kitchen were on that meant it was an awesome spectacle for our neighbors. And I stood there frozen for minutes. No Mr F. Then I started to feel self conscious. That's when my genius struck.
I flipped off all the interior lights and then propelled myself like a ninja (depite my pink bathrobe) to the front porch. When Mr F approached the front porch from the garbage he'd do it from the side. If I was quick and stayed low the porch railing and the shrubs would obscure me from vision until he was AT the steps. At which point there I'd be pretty much eye to eye with him.
Mr F was having a fantasy of his own.
When he went to drop off Canine's shit sack I was already gone from the kitchen window. And the lights were off. His flashlight bounced off the double layer of door windows and shone back at him. For a brief moment he thought (and I am not making this up... this is verbatim reporting) "Oh Rachel went and found a flashlight to flash back at me... because she loves me".
Yes my husband's fantasy is straight out of the mind of an 8 year old boy on his first campout with his buddy in the backyard.
Then he realized he'd been duped by his own flashlight. Crestfallen he proceeded to the porch...
Completely unaware that I was about to display my love in a very different way.