Friday, August 7, 2009

The Preface

Here is a little detail that might help to start to frame my current mindset.

That baby.

The one I was supposed to watch 40 hours a week.

The measly pay that I wanted to scoff at but NEEDED in order to pay Kid's tuition.

Yeah that one.

They don't need me. The father couldn't get a job in his field (big surprise) and is working nights at Sam's Club.

And that changes everything.

I'm not trying to be coy these days ... with my declaration of life altering plans and my promise to share them... which I then fail to follow through on.

I am pretty much trying to keep my head above water. Formulate a plan for bailing us out (again) and getting us to a place, in a place, where this will stop happening.

There is a lot about my life that is PERFECT. Exactly what I had hoped for, dreamed of. I failed to dream with enough color to envision the rest of it though. The financial stress and disappointments. The wasted energy and time that goes into things that don't actually matter or improve our life. The LOCATION.

People, some of it is sucking my soul out.

So when I say I have a plan... I do. But these recent events, and the return from the great North and my adjustment back to Asheville, are conspiring to send me into a bit of a funk. And I'm trying not to just lie down and give in.

The plan will come. But for now I kind of need to revel in it a moment and not let the magnitude of our saving overwhelm me.

Plans and dreams are fun until you realize how quickly you might need them.

Then they're scary as hell.


Me, Myself and I said...

Always reach for your dreams, Mrs. F. No matter how high and far off they be! (did that help?)

You can do it! I know you can! (how about that?)

Always shoot for the moon...(something about) so you can at least land on some stars. (idk..whatev)


HaleyBird said...

Aw man, I'm sorry you're in a difficult place again. I completely understand what you mean about the fragility and intimacy of our deepest dreams. Whether you share your plan or not with us, you know we're all behind you!

And good for you for not letting it affect your weightloss motivation -- that is no easy feat!

Torey said...

I'm sorry you're going through this. The good news is that you are a strong woman and you have a good strong support system (Mr. F, your blogging community) and we're all going to support you whatever you decide.

I hope that all is well! Remember, this too shall pass!

Danielle said...

Hi Mrs. F...

Mother Jones just had an article today on mercury and HFCS, and I immediately thought of you. Here's the link:

Mrs Furious said...

Thanks for the link. Interesting stuff... and frightening. Do you notice the special shout out to the Amish a few comments down?! ;)

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