It is official... I now start my week on Tuesday... no more apologizing for running late. There is no late in a continuum of time and space.
This past week actually turned out pretty good. I failed less and achieved more. I lowered my standards and actually met most of my goals.
Meal Planning: I did follow my plans but had to throw out the 2 lbs of tilapia.. since I kept forgetting that I had no cornflakes and then it went bad. Ooops. I also didn't make pork sandwiches, we had leftover pizza... hey sometimes I have a life! Back off!
Exercise: For awhile there I thought I had pretty much shot my goals straight into the crapper but miraculously I actually decided that I was going to suck it up and stop sabotaging. I ended up EXCEEDING my cardio goals and I did do one pilates workout. I have finally figured out why I have trouble with the pilates... for 3.5 years I went to a trainer 2x a week... and so even though I loved it (and do love it!) there is a mental component to doing it on my own...of having to be constantly *present* and think "what's next" the whole time. Jeesh no wonder I always put it off.. the treadmill is automatic.. the pilates couldn't be more opposite of that. And seriously by the end of the day I just don't have any mental energy left to expend. But I'm trying... and I'm going to stick with one pilates workout a week until I think I have mastered this goal before I move on.
Cleaning: I vacuumed. This week I will do laundry on Tuesday & Wednesday and vacuum on Thursday.
This Week's Menu:
Monday: Chicken Pie and Chicken Soup (yeah I know it was redundant)
Tuesday: Pork Tenderloin, green beans & rice
Wednesday: Kid F & Mr F date night
Thursday: Meatballs, spaghetti & broccoli
Friday: Pizza Night
Saturday: Chicken Chili & cornbread
Sunday: Meatball Subs & salad
Monday, October 15, 2007
Mrs Furious Has Lived A Life Of Great Intrigue
Last night I made a FANTASTIC Chicken Pot Pie.
Although after doing a little research I guess technically I made a Chicken Pie, since I used a double crust. All of you who are already rolling your eyes because you don't know what the hell "double crust" means... don't skip this post... intriguing insights into Mrs Furious past are about to be revealed...
Okay back to the Chicken Pie.
When I was thinking about writing this post and about pot pies I was forced to bring up from my subconscious the childhood memory of eating Rabbit Pot Pie. MMMM... bunny. No seriously, for a while my mother and her 2nd husband went through a little "let's live off the land" phase which involved raising rabbits for food. They also raised pigs and chickens. I can still remember hiding by the side of the house not wanting to watch the chickens running around with their heads cut off... and yet being drawn to it like a bad accident. So why didn't we have Chicken Pot Pie I wonder? During this strange, albeit fascinating, time my stepfather shot a squirrel and we HAD to eat it for dinner. I am currently almost crippled with a fear of squirrels... coincidence?... I think not. I also have a pretty strong "memory" of seeing a UFO under our mulberry tree at about this same time... so I might not be an accurate reporter ;)
No seriously the eating of bunnies and squirrel did happen.
Anyhoo my Pot Pie is not made of rodent... so enjoy!
Chicken Pie
I made a double crust using a basic pie crust recipe, except I tried out some new White Wheat Flour (not worth the extra $.. still tastes like regular wheat, and isn't exactly white anyway)
I roasted a pack of chicken legs (400 degrees for about 35 minutes)
I melted 3 T butter in the bottom of a saucepan then added 3 T flour and stirred this over a low flame for about 2 minutes then slowly added 1 & 1/3 cups of Chicken Stock to this. I seasoned this with salt, pepper, ground sage, ground thyme & a little onion powder and simmered this. (I didn't measure but not a lot 1/4t each maybe.. salt to taste)
I pulled the meat off the roasted Chicken Legs and added it to the "gravy".
To this I added one bag of Trader Joe's Vegetable Melange (this stuff is fantastic and I use it in Shepard's Pie as well). If you don't have a Trader Joe's this is a mixed vegetable with a seasoned butter (5 servings 70 cal each... if you need a butter sauce factor to keep in mind while you look at other brands).
Anyway I added the veggies to the chicken and gravy and poured it into my pie crust and then covered it with my top crust.
I baked that at 375 for 40 minutes.
Oh yeah brush the crust with some egg that has been beaten with a little milk or cream.
This makes 8 servings at 375 calories a piece
*************************************************************
UPDATE:
Mr F thinks I need to explain what double crust does mean.
A double crust is simply enough crust for the bottom and top crusts of a pie. A typical "pot pie" has no bottom crust and is really filling inside of a casserole dish with a top crust. Homey don't play that way. I want my filling encased in crust.
basic recipe:
2 c flour
1/2 t salt
2/3 c shortening (FYI shortening makes for a flakier crust!)
6-7 T ice cold water
Blend the flour and salt together with a fork in a large bowl. Use two knives to cut the shortening into the flour until it is in pea sized bits (this is really easy.. but of course you can use a food processor... personally I don't think it is worth the clean up). Sprinkle the mixture with the water a Tablespoonful at a time while using a fork to press & mash it into a dough. It should still be a little crumbly when you are done. Divide the dough into two circles. Roll one out on a floured surface (you'll need more for rolling) and place in the pie plate. Trim edges to a little past your plate. Roll out top crust. I roll the edges off my bottom crust and crimp. Then for a pot pie I place the plate on top of the top crust and use a pizza cutter to cut around the bottom of the plate. This makes a circle slightly smaller than the pot pie. Place this top crust on top... it will not meet the edge just center it in the middle of your pie... this looks great when you are done. I also roll out the scraps and cut out some decorative leaf shapes with a cookie cutter (what.. just because we eat pretty food doesn't mean we aren't furious!). Beat an egg with a splash of milk and brush your top crust and the edges of your bottom crust. This also acts as glue for your decorative pieces... brush the tops of those too! The egg wash gives your crust that shiny golden color.
Although after doing a little research I guess technically I made a Chicken Pie, since I used a double crust. All of you who are already rolling your eyes because you don't know what the hell "double crust" means... don't skip this post... intriguing insights into Mrs Furious past are about to be revealed...
Okay back to the Chicken Pie.
When I was thinking about writing this post and about pot pies I was forced to bring up from my subconscious the childhood memory of eating Rabbit Pot Pie. MMMM... bunny. No seriously, for a while my mother and her 2nd husband went through a little "let's live off the land" phase which involved raising rabbits for food. They also raised pigs and chickens. I can still remember hiding by the side of the house not wanting to watch the chickens running around with their heads cut off... and yet being drawn to it like a bad accident. So why didn't we have Chicken Pot Pie I wonder? During this strange, albeit fascinating, time my stepfather shot a squirrel and we HAD to eat it for dinner. I am currently almost crippled with a fear of squirrels... coincidence?... I think not. I also have a pretty strong "memory" of seeing a UFO under our mulberry tree at about this same time... so I might not be an accurate reporter ;)
No seriously the eating of bunnies and squirrel did happen.
Anyhoo my Pot Pie is not made of rodent... so enjoy!
Chicken Pie
I made a double crust using a basic pie crust recipe, except I tried out some new White Wheat Flour (not worth the extra $.. still tastes like regular wheat, and isn't exactly white anyway)
I roasted a pack of chicken legs (400 degrees for about 35 minutes)
I melted 3 T butter in the bottom of a saucepan then added 3 T flour and stirred this over a low flame for about 2 minutes then slowly added 1 & 1/3 cups of Chicken Stock to this. I seasoned this with salt, pepper, ground sage, ground thyme & a little onion powder and simmered this. (I didn't measure but not a lot 1/4t each maybe.. salt to taste)
I pulled the meat off the roasted Chicken Legs and added it to the "gravy".
To this I added one bag of Trader Joe's Vegetable Melange (this stuff is fantastic and I use it in Shepard's Pie as well). If you don't have a Trader Joe's this is a mixed vegetable with a seasoned butter (5 servings 70 cal each... if you need a butter sauce factor to keep in mind while you look at other brands).
Anyway I added the veggies to the chicken and gravy and poured it into my pie crust and then covered it with my top crust.
I baked that at 375 for 40 minutes.
Oh yeah brush the crust with some egg that has been beaten with a little milk or cream.
This makes 8 servings at 375 calories a piece
*************************************************************
UPDATE:
Mr F thinks I need to explain what double crust does mean.
A double crust is simply enough crust for the bottom and top crusts of a pie. A typical "pot pie" has no bottom crust and is really filling inside of a casserole dish with a top crust. Homey don't play that way. I want my filling encased in crust.
basic recipe:
2 c flour
1/2 t salt
2/3 c shortening (FYI shortening makes for a flakier crust!)
6-7 T ice cold water
Blend the flour and salt together with a fork in a large bowl. Use two knives to cut the shortening into the flour until it is in pea sized bits (this is really easy.. but of course you can use a food processor... personally I don't think it is worth the clean up). Sprinkle the mixture with the water a Tablespoonful at a time while using a fork to press & mash it into a dough. It should still be a little crumbly when you are done. Divide the dough into two circles. Roll one out on a floured surface (you'll need more for rolling) and place in the pie plate. Trim edges to a little past your plate. Roll out top crust. I roll the edges off my bottom crust and crimp. Then for a pot pie I place the plate on top of the top crust and use a pizza cutter to cut around the bottom of the plate. This makes a circle slightly smaller than the pot pie. Place this top crust on top... it will not meet the edge just center it in the middle of your pie... this looks great when you are done. I also roll out the scraps and cut out some decorative leaf shapes with a cookie cutter (what.. just because we eat pretty food doesn't mean we aren't furious!). Beat an egg with a splash of milk and brush your top crust and the edges of your bottom crust. This also acts as glue for your decorative pieces... brush the tops of those too! The egg wash gives your crust that shiny golden color.
Hey What's That Smell?!?
It sure ain't the smell of freshly baked cookies!
I'm in the kitchen making some soup while the Baby is crawling around sucking on dangerous chokables. While peeling some carrots I notice a slight off-scent but can't tell where it is coming from so I carry on with my wifely duties. Then I find the baby sucking on the recycling (no sharp metal cans... no worries). She crawls over to me and I realize... with a fair amount of horror... that her entire pant leg is soaked with liquid poo. Now Baby F is a baby so she is wearing a lot of cloth between her butt and the outside world... and if poo is now outside of her clothes we have got a mega disaster on our hands. Oh did I ever mention that Canine Furious is like a poop hound? Yeah.. double disaster! So I go into lock down mode... nobody move!.... "Okay Kid get Canine in the basement and bring me the wipes!!! Now!!! NO the wipes! The Wipes! No Kid THE WIPES! NO I need the wipes.. in here.. faster..fast, fast, fast! "(yeah that's how 5 year olds play it) Okay 15 minutes later ... as I precariously balance the baby in such a way as to minimize contact with the deadly ooze I finally get the damn wipes. Now I begin mission poop removal. I should note that Baby's poop causes an immediate and permanent stain... and I am not just saying that to be cute.. I mean for real. So off come the poop covered socks, then the overalls... Sweet Jesus they are filled with poop!!! I approach mission poop removal like Baby is a bomb that might detonate at any second... it has been known to happen people! You need to be speedy but careful to contain all the damage in one location. And let me tell you nothing is harder than trying to remove a poop covered onesie without spreading the nastiness all over the baby's head.. or even worse yourself.
And that my friends is what we call a Pooptastrophy!
I'm in the kitchen making some soup while the Baby is crawling around sucking on dangerous chokables. While peeling some carrots I notice a slight off-scent but can't tell where it is coming from so I carry on with my wifely duties. Then I find the baby sucking on the recycling (no sharp metal cans... no worries). She crawls over to me and I realize... with a fair amount of horror... that her entire pant leg is soaked with liquid poo. Now Baby F is a baby so she is wearing a lot of cloth between her butt and the outside world... and if poo is now outside of her clothes we have got a mega disaster on our hands. Oh did I ever mention that Canine Furious is like a poop hound? Yeah.. double disaster! So I go into lock down mode... nobody move!.... "Okay Kid get Canine in the basement and bring me the wipes!!! Now!!! NO the wipes! The Wipes! No Kid THE WIPES! NO I need the wipes.. in here.. faster..fast, fast, fast! "(yeah that's how 5 year olds play it) Okay 15 minutes later ... as I precariously balance the baby in such a way as to minimize contact with the deadly ooze I finally get the damn wipes. Now I begin mission poop removal. I should note that Baby's poop causes an immediate and permanent stain... and I am not just saying that to be cute.. I mean for real. So off come the poop covered socks, then the overalls... Sweet Jesus they are filled with poop!!! I approach mission poop removal like Baby is a bomb that might detonate at any second... it has been known to happen people! You need to be speedy but careful to contain all the damage in one location. And let me tell you nothing is harder than trying to remove a poop covered onesie without spreading the nastiness all over the baby's head.. or even worse yourself.
And that my friends is what we call a Pooptastrophy!
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Momma's Got A Brand New Bag
...of frozen cookie dough that is!
Sweet Jesus these are so goddamn good I can't even control myself! And that is saying something.. The Magic Cookie Dough is fantastic and a fabulous frozen nugget of goodness but these are unbelievable baked... irresistible really. Perfect amount of sweet, spice and salt. Make 'em when you know you'll be able to give most of them away ;)
The Essential Chewy Oatmeal Cookie (Taken From The King Arthur Flour Cookie Companion)
preheat oven to 375
1/2 c unsalted butter
1/2 c vegetable shortening
1/2 c granulated sugar
1 c brown sugar (I used light)
2 t vanilla extract
1/4 t almond extract
3/4 t cinnamon
1/8 t ground cloves
1/4 t nutmeg
1 t salt
1 t baking soda
1 large egg
6 T light corn syrup (I used dark)
2 T milk (not non-fat)
3 c quick-cooking oats (or pulse old fashioned oats in a food processor or blender to break into smaller pieces)
1 & 1/2 c all purpose flour
1 c raisins
1 c chopped pecans or walnuts (I omitted due to picky husband)
Lightly grease (or line with parchment or silpats) two baking sheets.
In a large bowl, cream together butter and shortening, sugars, extracts, spices, salt, and baking soda, beating until fairly smooth. Beat in the egg, scraping down the bowl, then beat in corn syrup and milk. Stir in oats, flour, raisins, and nuts.
Drop the dough by the tablespoonful onto the prepared baking sheets. Bake the cookies for 11 minutes, until they are light golden brown. Remove them from the oven and transfer to a rack to cool.
makes 45 cookies at 156 calories a piece.
* I omitted the nuts and scooped out level tablespoonfuls of dough and yielded 67 cookies at 100 calories a piece.
A little cookie primer:
Baking cookies with all butter makes for a softer cookie, using all shortening (or margarine) makes for a crisp and crunchy cookie. This cookie calls for half of each yielding a delightfully crisp crust. All butter is great for sugar cookies while all shortening is prefered for molasses cookies and ginger snaps. But if you have a strong preference for one quality over the other you can adjust most recipes to the texture of your choice by replacing butter with shortening (or margarine) and vice versa. Happy baking people!
Sweet Jesus these are so goddamn good I can't even control myself! And that is saying something.. The Magic Cookie Dough is fantastic and a fabulous frozen nugget of goodness but these are unbelievable baked... irresistible really. Perfect amount of sweet, spice and salt. Make 'em when you know you'll be able to give most of them away ;)
The Essential Chewy Oatmeal Cookie (Taken From The King Arthur Flour Cookie Companion)
preheat oven to 375
1/2 c unsalted butter
1/2 c vegetable shortening
1/2 c granulated sugar
1 c brown sugar (I used light)
2 t vanilla extract
1/4 t almond extract
3/4 t cinnamon
1/8 t ground cloves
1/4 t nutmeg
1 t salt
1 t baking soda
1 large egg
6 T light corn syrup (I used dark)
2 T milk (not non-fat)
3 c quick-cooking oats (or pulse old fashioned oats in a food processor or blender to break into smaller pieces)
1 & 1/2 c all purpose flour
1 c raisins
1 c chopped pecans or walnuts (I omitted due to picky husband)
Lightly grease (or line with parchment or silpats) two baking sheets.
In a large bowl, cream together butter and shortening, sugars, extracts, spices, salt, and baking soda, beating until fairly smooth. Beat in the egg, scraping down the bowl, then beat in corn syrup and milk. Stir in oats, flour, raisins, and nuts.
Drop the dough by the tablespoonful onto the prepared baking sheets. Bake the cookies for 11 minutes, until they are light golden brown. Remove them from the oven and transfer to a rack to cool.
makes 45 cookies at 156 calories a piece.
* I omitted the nuts and scooped out level tablespoonfuls of dough and yielded 67 cookies at 100 calories a piece.
A little cookie primer:
Baking cookies with all butter makes for a softer cookie, using all shortening (or margarine) makes for a crisp and crunchy cookie. This cookie calls for half of each yielding a delightfully crisp crust. All butter is great for sugar cookies while all shortening is prefered for molasses cookies and ginger snaps. But if you have a strong preference for one quality over the other you can adjust most recipes to the texture of your choice by replacing butter with shortening (or margarine) and vice versa. Happy baking people!
Saturday, October 13, 2007
The Cycle Repeats Itself
So I'm down in the dumps. I haven't worked out for 3 days. This is a problem since it not only means I am letting myself down but that I am further from reaching my fitness goals and possibly going to have a harder time with this than I thought. I'm not actually worried about gaining weight. Outside of a few pounds plus or minus, not accounting for pregnancy gain, I have not been someone with a hugely fluctuating weight. And I have the eating down. I rarely go over my calories and calorie counting is something I could easily do for the rest of my life. Seriously. I know this drives many of you crazy but it doesn't bother me, and knowing that I can eat whatever I want and not have to have that sabotagey diet mentality of "off limit" foods is great. But here is the deal. I REALLY REALLY want to be a fit person. And for me, being the extremist personality that I am, that means really fit... athlete fit... fittest possible version of myself.
This seems doable and reasonable when I'm in an upswing... when all the factors in the goddamn universe collide to make for a perfect evening... I still have energy (un-fucking-likely), Mr F is home on time, dinner is light so I can get right on the treadmill without crippling stomach pains, something engrossing is on Tivo, the Baby times her naps perfectly so that she can stay up until I am done. As you can imagine A LOT of things can mess this up... and then I am put in the position where just a little bit of sabotaging can go a long way and before you know it I decide that taking a bath is perfectly reasonable!
And of course it is perfectly reasonable.. I mean I almost never do anything for myself or by myself in a 24 hour period. Sleep...not by myself, nursing Baby all mother fucking night long. Shower... door open kids asking incessant questions "what? WHAT? I can't hear you the water is running!... My Little Ponies? What?! In a minute! I'll do it in a minute!". Insert cooking, dressing, cleaning, driving, shopping and you pretty much get an accurate picture. Oh all that and I'm lazy and a whiner and a sabotager.
So if I take one day... I mean one measly day off... I can't get back into the working out. This is so frustrating and really makes me mad at myself. If I had a way to work exercise in to my day that would be great but really I don't and the end of the day is the only time I can do it... and by then it is very easy for things to have conspired against me.... or just for my brain to have conspired against me. Last night, for example, I really needed to work out. I took Wednesday off since I took the baby to a Mommy & Me class after dinner, and that is important, and it means I won't be able to exercise... fine that really needs to be my only weekday off and I know that. Well Thursday I had the great shopping expedition and after being at the mall for 4 hours I was exhausted and through a communication snafu, Mr F didn't get my messages, we all got home late and had dinner late and then I just didn't have the energy for exercising. Okay... but I only have 2 days off to take and I just took them back to back! Well lets just throw in the towel now.. because if I allow myself more than 1 day off in a row I just can't bring myself to get back on the treadmill... it is a quickly escalating downward spiral. Friday... I have no excuse.. even worse I spent a full 2 hours battling it out in my head (which required so much more energy than the workout itself!) back and forth.. "you're tired".. "you are just sabotaging.. sure you're tired but you'll feel so much better once you start".. "yeah that's true but you had a long week... it is possible that you could push out 3 workouts on the weekend".. "lies all lies.. you'll never do that and then you'll hate yourself again" .. "what does it matter I need a tummy tuck... boo hoo hoo" .."how do you know.. remember that guy on Biggest Loser his stomach looked fine, get on the treadmill".. "take a bath you deserve a bath!"
Well I took the damn bath even though I knew what I was doing to myself and I still couldn't stop it. You see if I workout I feel good (triumphant even), in control, positive (and the endorphins don't hurt) and when I don't I feel crabby and lazy and bad about myself (and the goddamn dressing room mirrors didn't help). And so as odd as it is... if I'm having a bad day I'm unlikely to workout even though that is when it would be most beneficial.. when I could feel so proud of myself for rising to the challenge and then.. then... change things around and get things back on track. But when I feel badly about myself... what do I want to do?... make myself feel worse by living up to all my negative self talk.
Maybe I'll go workout now... Got to stop the madness...
******************************************************************************************************
UPDATE
Good Triumphs Over Evil
I sucked it up... I pumped out a 70 minute treadmill workout!
And as soon as I put my workout clothes on (you know them all too well) I morphed into a giant ass willing to post my Muscle Man impersonation photos for all the world to see. Enjoy!
This seems doable and reasonable when I'm in an upswing... when all the factors in the goddamn universe collide to make for a perfect evening... I still have energy (un-fucking-likely), Mr F is home on time, dinner is light so I can get right on the treadmill without crippling stomach pains, something engrossing is on Tivo, the Baby times her naps perfectly so that she can stay up until I am done. As you can imagine A LOT of things can mess this up... and then I am put in the position where just a little bit of sabotaging can go a long way and before you know it I decide that taking a bath is perfectly reasonable!
And of course it is perfectly reasonable.. I mean I almost never do anything for myself or by myself in a 24 hour period. Sleep...not by myself, nursing Baby all mother fucking night long. Shower... door open kids asking incessant questions "what? WHAT? I can't hear you the water is running!... My Little Ponies? What?! In a minute! I'll do it in a minute!". Insert cooking, dressing, cleaning, driving, shopping and you pretty much get an accurate picture. Oh all that and I'm lazy and a whiner and a sabotager.
So if I take one day... I mean one measly day off... I can't get back into the working out. This is so frustrating and really makes me mad at myself. If I had a way to work exercise in to my day that would be great but really I don't and the end of the day is the only time I can do it... and by then it is very easy for things to have conspired against me.... or just for my brain to have conspired against me. Last night, for example, I really needed to work out. I took Wednesday off since I took the baby to a Mommy & Me class after dinner, and that is important, and it means I won't be able to exercise... fine that really needs to be my only weekday off and I know that. Well Thursday I had the great shopping expedition and after being at the mall for 4 hours I was exhausted and through a communication snafu, Mr F didn't get my messages, we all got home late and had dinner late and then I just didn't have the energy for exercising. Okay... but I only have 2 days off to take and I just took them back to back! Well lets just throw in the towel now.. because if I allow myself more than 1 day off in a row I just can't bring myself to get back on the treadmill... it is a quickly escalating downward spiral. Friday... I have no excuse.. even worse I spent a full 2 hours battling it out in my head (which required so much more energy than the workout itself!) back and forth.. "you're tired".. "you are just sabotaging.. sure you're tired but you'll feel so much better once you start".. "yeah that's true but you had a long week... it is possible that you could push out 3 workouts on the weekend".. "lies all lies.. you'll never do that and then you'll hate yourself again" .. "what does it matter I need a tummy tuck... boo hoo hoo" .."how do you know.. remember that guy on Biggest Loser his stomach looked fine, get on the treadmill".. "take a bath you deserve a bath!"
Well I took the damn bath even though I knew what I was doing to myself and I still couldn't stop it. You see if I workout I feel good (triumphant even), in control, positive (and the endorphins don't hurt) and when I don't I feel crabby and lazy and bad about myself (and the goddamn dressing room mirrors didn't help). And so as odd as it is... if I'm having a bad day I'm unlikely to workout even though that is when it would be most beneficial.. when I could feel so proud of myself for rising to the challenge and then.. then... change things around and get things back on track. But when I feel badly about myself... what do I want to do?... make myself feel worse by living up to all my negative self talk.
Maybe I'll go workout now... Got to stop the madness...
******************************************************************************************************
UPDATE
Good Triumphs Over Evil
I sucked it up... I pumped out a 70 minute treadmill workout!
And as soon as I put my workout clothes on (you know them all too well) I morphed into a giant ass willing to post my Muscle Man impersonation photos for all the world to see. Enjoy!
Friday, October 12, 2007
Mrs F's Shopping Expedition
So yesterday as promised I packed up the baby and headed to the mall... hot little Gap gift card in hand.
First things first it bears repeating that I hate to shop.
Secondly I hate to try things on.. with LARGE mirrors and florescent lighting which combine to act like a giant magnifying glass on my unclothed hideousness!
Like everyone else in the world I am hard to fit. Yes I realize you think you are hard to fit and might even believe you are harder to fit...but lets just say the feelings are mutual and call it a tie. I am short and kind of zucchini shaped... you know like a cylinder... so I have very narrow hips but a short and wide-ish waist. Oh pears I know you think the gaping waist is a problem, but waists you can have taken in... they cannot "let out" waists or "take in" the hip, butt & legs of pants. You don't really know Hell until you try on pants as a squash with a squishy hangy baby momma tummy no less!
Now I had heard rumors that the low rise pants were on the outs so I was hopeful that I might find some pants which could act as reinforcement around the aforementioned lower abdomen. I went to the Gap wearing my old jeans (size 6) which truthfully aren't too too big in the waist but after wearing them for an hour start to fall off my ass and look like Hell. I wrote a similar post about my other jeans (incidentally same size and cut just different wash) a few weeks ago. (oh yeah in the link the darker good fitting pair are the ones that are now in need of a replacement) These jeans are slightly lower rise than a mid rise... perfect ...not so low as to let my empty flap of a stomach spill out over top but not too high as to be too tight on my wide waist. Well guess what they don't fucking make them anymore. So I tried on every goddamn pair of pants in the place and typically ran into one of two problems... Low cut size fours looked HOT on me if my torso was cut off at the top of the pants... not so much with jelly belly spill over... The "mid rise" are okay but a little high on me (short waisted remember?) which is somewhat uncomfortable when you sit since the waist band then touches your ribcage. Yes in retrospect I realize I needed to have headed to a place that sells actual petite clothes and not just "ankle" length.
So mostly it was a bust. I bought a pair of the closest jeans I could find but despite being "ankle" length they are seriously 3" longer than my old jeans and although the waist is smaller upon returning home I see that that is only because the rise is higher and in actuallity these size 4 jeans are slightly bigger than the 6s I had worn for 4 days and in theory "stretched out"! So I'm returning them. I bought some other pants I'm no longer pleased with... and writing all this does make realize that the main problem is that I need my pants in a petite cut throughout not just in length. Those of you who don't know petite sizes run about 1/2 size smaller, so if you are under 5'4" this could be your answer once your old size is too big but the next size down in bafflingly too small still.
(missing picture of bogus size 4 ankle length jeans)
Because I got suckered into getting a Gap card I then had to buy $50 worth of socks for the kids and head over to Banana to see what they had to offer (15% off the whole day!). Boy Banana is in one of their fancy modes so there wasn't a whole lot for me to even consider... but let me tell you they are filled with jewel toned wrap style dresses and shirts. If you have been following my fashion quest (and how could you not?) then you know this is exactly what I have been looking for.
So I bought this little beauty...
(sure technically not a good picture of the dress.. or in general... and yes Mr F only took it cause he was looking at my boobs... but I do look hot people!)
I'm having great difficulty uploading my pictures. Check back over the weekend and I will add some more to this post when I get it all worked out.
First things first it bears repeating that I hate to shop.
Secondly I hate to try things on.. with LARGE mirrors and florescent lighting which combine to act like a giant magnifying glass on my unclothed hideousness!
Like everyone else in the world I am hard to fit. Yes I realize you think you are hard to fit and might even believe you are harder to fit...but lets just say the feelings are mutual and call it a tie. I am short and kind of zucchini shaped... you know like a cylinder... so I have very narrow hips but a short and wide-ish waist. Oh pears I know you think the gaping waist is a problem, but waists you can have taken in... they cannot "let out" waists or "take in" the hip, butt & legs of pants. You don't really know Hell until you try on pants as a squash with a squishy hangy baby momma tummy no less!
Now I had heard rumors that the low rise pants were on the outs so I was hopeful that I might find some pants which could act as reinforcement around the aforementioned lower abdomen. I went to the Gap wearing my old jeans (size 6) which truthfully aren't too too big in the waist but after wearing them for an hour start to fall off my ass and look like Hell. I wrote a similar post about my other jeans (incidentally same size and cut just different wash) a few weeks ago. (oh yeah in the link the darker good fitting pair are the ones that are now in need of a replacement) These jeans are slightly lower rise than a mid rise... perfect ...not so low as to let my empty flap of a stomach spill out over top but not too high as to be too tight on my wide waist. Well guess what they don't fucking make them anymore. So I tried on every goddamn pair of pants in the place and typically ran into one of two problems... Low cut size fours looked HOT on me if my torso was cut off at the top of the pants... not so much with jelly belly spill over... The "mid rise" are okay but a little high on me (short waisted remember?) which is somewhat uncomfortable when you sit since the waist band then touches your ribcage. Yes in retrospect I realize I needed to have headed to a place that sells actual petite clothes and not just "ankle" length.
So mostly it was a bust. I bought a pair of the closest jeans I could find but despite being "ankle" length they are seriously 3" longer than my old jeans and although the waist is smaller upon returning home I see that that is only because the rise is higher and in actuallity these size 4 jeans are slightly bigger than the 6s I had worn for 4 days and in theory "stretched out"! So I'm returning them. I bought some other pants I'm no longer pleased with... and writing all this does make realize that the main problem is that I need my pants in a petite cut throughout not just in length. Those of you who don't know petite sizes run about 1/2 size smaller, so if you are under 5'4" this could be your answer once your old size is too big but the next size down in bafflingly too small still.
(missing picture of bogus size 4 ankle length jeans)
Because I got suckered into getting a Gap card I then had to buy $50 worth of socks for the kids and head over to Banana to see what they had to offer (15% off the whole day!). Boy Banana is in one of their fancy modes so there wasn't a whole lot for me to even consider... but let me tell you they are filled with jewel toned wrap style dresses and shirts. If you have been following my fashion quest (and how could you not?) then you know this is exactly what I have been looking for.
So I bought this little beauty...
(sure technically not a good picture of the dress.. or in general... and yes Mr F only took it cause he was looking at my boobs... but I do look hot people!)I'm having great difficulty uploading my pictures. Check back over the weekend and I will add some more to this post when I get it all worked out.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Look Of The Day... Do Over
This is better.... no?
I forgot I had this purple cami in my closet... much better than the v-neck. I picked these leggings up at the mall... after asking the salesperson at the Gap about 10 times if these were really still stylish I went ahead and bought them. I have completed the "look" if you could call it that with the ballet flats I got at Target a couple weeks ago.
Here is a refresher of how I looked yesterday...
Stay tuned for my mall break down tomorrow...
I forgot I had this purple cami in my closet... much better than the v-neck. I picked these leggings up at the mall... after asking the salesperson at the Gap about 10 times if these were really still stylish I went ahead and bought them. I have completed the "look" if you could call it that with the ballet flats I got at Target a couple weeks ago.Here is a refresher of how I looked yesterday...
Stay tuned for my mall break down tomorrow...
Vanity Sizing... Mrs Furious Investigates
So I was over at Sister Skinny this morning and Katieo posted THIS about vanity sizing. I find this stuff fascinating since I just went through all my clothes and can testify that what year you bought your clothes and where you bought them definitely effects what size you bought. I can currently fit into clothes spanning 3 sizes!
My mom just took Kid F to school so I'm hoping to finally get a chance to hit the mall in search of better fitting pants.
Since this is how my jeans look on me now...
These are Gap size 6 slim fits circa 2003. I will be very interested to see what size pants I come home with.
The interesting thing about the clip Katieo links to is that they claim men's clothing is labeled true to size and not subject to vanity sizing. Hold up... that is some bad reporting... cause I just took the tape measure to two of Mr F's pants. Cover your eyes Mr F! I measured a pair of Old Navy Khakis I bought last year size 34"... true waist measurement... 38.5". Then the new pair of Levi's size 36"... true waist size.... 38.5"! If that isn't vanity sizing I don't know what is!
My mom just took Kid F to school so I'm hoping to finally get a chance to hit the mall in search of better fitting pants.
Since this is how my jeans look on me now...
These are Gap size 6 slim fits circa 2003. I will be very interested to see what size pants I come home with.The interesting thing about the clip Katieo links to is that they claim men's clothing is labeled true to size and not subject to vanity sizing. Hold up... that is some bad reporting... cause I just took the tape measure to two of Mr F's pants. Cover your eyes Mr F! I measured a pair of Old Navy Khakis I bought last year size 34"... true waist measurement... 38.5". Then the new pair of Levi's size 36"... true waist size.... 38.5"! If that isn't vanity sizing I don't know what is!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
The Look Of The Day
More Target Beauties (I Hope!) For You To Behold...
Okay it is kind of hard for me to capture this look in its entirety with my Photo Booth. This is a teal light weight sweater dress and a long crazy bejeweled necklace (which the baby loves by the way... resulting in near strangulation!). Mr F is not a fan of this dress and I was going to return it... but it is so soft and cozy I just had to keep it. I'm not totally sure how to wear it and this is what I had on hand... black slightly bootcut workout leggings and a purple tee (yes... I wish it wasn't a v-neck!). I actually feel reasonably cutting edge in a new "Hobo Chic" sort of way.
Okay it is kind of hard for me to capture this look in its entirety with my Photo Booth. This is a teal light weight sweater dress and a long crazy bejeweled necklace (which the baby loves by the way... resulting in near strangulation!). Mr F is not a fan of this dress and I was going to return it... but it is so soft and cozy I just had to keep it. I'm not totally sure how to wear it and this is what I had on hand... black slightly bootcut workout leggings and a purple tee (yes... I wish it wasn't a v-neck!). I actually feel reasonably cutting edge in a new "Hobo Chic" sort of way.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Consider This Your Warning Kid F!
"Hey! You are not doing a good job of listening!"
"And if you aren't doing a good job of listening you are not going to want to be around Mom... because Mom will be angry and angry moms are not nice moms... angry moms are mean."
"And if you aren't doing a good job of listening you are not going to want to be around Mom... because Mom will be angry and angry moms are not nice moms... angry moms are mean."
This Week The Plan
So I'm late as usual with "My Plan" what else is new?
I feel like I barely have my head above water... and really I don't have time to do this right now either... but if I postpone it much longer it will be next week the plan!
This is going to be pretty straight forward, bland, and most likely humorless... sorry!
Here's the Menu:
Monday- Meatball Soup (I'm been really milking this standby for all it's worth these days!) and Homemade Focaccia
Tuesday- Brown Sugar & Ginger Salmon w/ Rice & Broccoli
Wednesday- Kid F & Mr F date night (but I'm going to cook up 2 pounds of this for the freezer)
Thursday- Pork Tenderloin with Butternut Squash and Green Beans
Friday- pizza night
Saturday- Pork Tenderloin Sandwiches on Homemade Bread w/ Cranberry Horseradish Sauce & salad
Sunday- Chicken Potpie & salad
My cleaning goal is to vacuum tomorrow. That is it!
As for exercise I'm still desperately trying to fit more Pilates workouts in but I resist it every week (I don't know why)... so I'm scaling back my goals and just going to really try and establish one Pilates session a week until that becomes part of my routine. I'm also going to do 4 hours of cardio (1 down 3 to go!) That allows for 2 nights off which is much more doable right now.
Also I've been really tired and light headed for the last two weeks. Eating doesn't alleviate it, and it is not a hydration thing... so I'm going to really try and go to bed EARLY (and in the Furious house that means by 11).
Period. The End.
I feel like I barely have my head above water... and really I don't have time to do this right now either... but if I postpone it much longer it will be next week the plan!
This is going to be pretty straight forward, bland, and most likely humorless... sorry!
Here's the Menu:
Monday- Meatball Soup (I'm been really milking this standby for all it's worth these days!) and Homemade Focaccia
Tuesday- Brown Sugar & Ginger Salmon w/ Rice & Broccoli
Wednesday- Kid F & Mr F date night (but I'm going to cook up 2 pounds of this for the freezer)
Thursday- Pork Tenderloin with Butternut Squash and Green Beans
Friday- pizza night
Saturday- Pork Tenderloin Sandwiches on Homemade Bread w/ Cranberry Horseradish Sauce & salad
Sunday- Chicken Potpie & salad
My cleaning goal is to vacuum tomorrow. That is it!
As for exercise I'm still desperately trying to fit more Pilates workouts in but I resist it every week (I don't know why)... so I'm scaling back my goals and just going to really try and establish one Pilates session a week until that becomes part of my routine. I'm also going to do 4 hours of cardio (1 down 3 to go!) That allows for 2 nights off which is much more doable right now.
Also I've been really tired and light headed for the last two weeks. Eating doesn't alleviate it, and it is not a hydration thing... so I'm going to really try and go to bed EARLY (and in the Furious house that means by 11).
Period. The End.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Mrs Furious Shows Off Her Casual Sophistication
So this is a shirt I picked up while at Target the other day... what can I say.. I just can't resist the pull! I wasn't actually going to buy anymore Target clothes and then I happened to touch this shirt and it was so soft I actually thought it was cashmere... needless to say it is not. It is however a very finely knit cotton and it was on sale for $12. Oh did I mention that it is a heathered shade of oatmeal? ... which is kind of like Ivory... and Ivory is one of "my colors"... so how could I resist?
Special thanks go out to my niece Jasmine for picking out the earrings... you were right your skills did in fact live up to the hype!
And Jasmine I did throw out the magenta sweatshirt cardigan... how I ever could have thought that was cool I do not know... thank you for showing me the error of my ways!
Sunday, October 7, 2007
The Week... In Review
Okay I have failed miserably at most of my goals for this week.
Can you blame me? I mean my week didn't exactly get started on the right foot and it certainly didn't end on it either!
So here is how it broke down..
I pretty much stuck to the menu plan. I did bail on the chicken soup on Friday and we ordered Mexican... I needed that taco salad goddammit! Instead of going out on Saturday we ordered pizza and I did end up making the salmon noodle casserole tonight. I do have to throw out the chicken legs I bought for the soup and I do feel bad about that but at least it is only like $3 down the drain.
As for my lofty cleaning goals... lets just say I did do the laundry. Period.
As per the usual I set too high of a expectation and then instead of rising to meet it.. I wallowed around paralyzed by the enormity of it. Hopefully I will have learned my lesson (yet again) and will adjust my cleaning goals.. to... I don't know.. like one freaking goal and not a "daily" goal.
I stuck within my calorie range but I don't expect to see a loss since I upped it by 200 calories. I had been extremely light headed, starting last weekend, and by Wednesday I just couldn't take it and needed to figure out if it was calorie related. I now think it might have been related to Kid's illness on Monday and that we all had some kind of bug. The upside to all this is that I actually found it VERY difficult to go over my usual calorie intake and had to actually eat more at the end of the day to push my calories up over 1800. So I am feeling a little more confident that I will be able to maintain at this level.
As for this week's exercise... I am pretty disappointed in myself. I have a very hard time working out more than 4 times a week. I mean I usually do it but it is really tight squeezing it in. I think that when I set myself up with 6 workouts I sabotaged myself and by the weekend I was feeling pretty overwhelmed with how I could fit it all in and ended up taking the weekend off. Possibly a good thing considering how sore I am from Friday's big expedition! But I am disappointed. Mostly I am disappointed since I did have the opportunity to do it today but I chose not to... I mean consciously chose to disappoint myself... and I hate that about myself. I really am a huge sabotager and I have worked really hard and it is frustrating to see how easy it is (I mean I say this is some form every damn week) for me to give in. How my week begins really impacts how I am able to pull it together for the whole week and this Monday threw me a curve ball and then Mr F was home late one night and it just kind of snowballed...blah, blah, blah... I will do better this week and I will not over extend myself on the goals!
The good news is that I did accomplish a very BIG organizational task that has been looming over my head for months! I went through all my boxed up clothes (since I was pregnant last fall & winter) and my closet and filled one and a half 40 gallon bags with clothes and shoes. I really did a good job and I did think about my colors while I did it... Missus Smarty Pants would be so proud! I was pretty ruthless and really purged. And not just the vintage Target (gasp) but actual fancy designer clothes and shoes. The stuff I have kept can all be put away and I am giving myself until summer to wear it... as in if I don't wear them this fall and winter I'm getting rid of them... I don't care how much it cost or who gave it to me... GONE! On top of all that I got all of Kid's summer clothes put away and her fall clothes out... and boxed up all her outgrown stuff for the Baby. I also changed over all the Baby's clothes which have been spilling out of bins all over the guest room for months... this, my friends, is a huge accomplishment since I have baby clothes coming out of my ears!
So I may have failed to meet my cleaning goals and my exercise goals but I did put my time to good use. I actually hope that finally taking care of something that has been cluttering both my physical space and my mental space will free me up to be more productive in general... I hope!
Can you blame me? I mean my week didn't exactly get started on the right foot and it certainly didn't end on it either!
So here is how it broke down..
I pretty much stuck to the menu plan. I did bail on the chicken soup on Friday and we ordered Mexican... I needed that taco salad goddammit! Instead of going out on Saturday we ordered pizza and I did end up making the salmon noodle casserole tonight. I do have to throw out the chicken legs I bought for the soup and I do feel bad about that but at least it is only like $3 down the drain.
As for my lofty cleaning goals... lets just say I did do the laundry. Period.
As per the usual I set too high of a expectation and then instead of rising to meet it.. I wallowed around paralyzed by the enormity of it. Hopefully I will have learned my lesson (yet again) and will adjust my cleaning goals.. to... I don't know.. like one freaking goal and not a "daily" goal.
I stuck within my calorie range but I don't expect to see a loss since I upped it by 200 calories. I had been extremely light headed, starting last weekend, and by Wednesday I just couldn't take it and needed to figure out if it was calorie related. I now think it might have been related to Kid's illness on Monday and that we all had some kind of bug. The upside to all this is that I actually found it VERY difficult to go over my usual calorie intake and had to actually eat more at the end of the day to push my calories up over 1800. So I am feeling a little more confident that I will be able to maintain at this level.
As for this week's exercise... I am pretty disappointed in myself. I have a very hard time working out more than 4 times a week. I mean I usually do it but it is really tight squeezing it in. I think that when I set myself up with 6 workouts I sabotaged myself and by the weekend I was feeling pretty overwhelmed with how I could fit it all in and ended up taking the weekend off. Possibly a good thing considering how sore I am from Friday's big expedition! But I am disappointed. Mostly I am disappointed since I did have the opportunity to do it today but I chose not to... I mean consciously chose to disappoint myself... and I hate that about myself. I really am a huge sabotager and I have worked really hard and it is frustrating to see how easy it is (I mean I say this is some form every damn week) for me to give in. How my week begins really impacts how I am able to pull it together for the whole week and this Monday threw me a curve ball and then Mr F was home late one night and it just kind of snowballed...blah, blah, blah... I will do better this week and I will not over extend myself on the goals!
The good news is that I did accomplish a very BIG organizational task that has been looming over my head for months! I went through all my boxed up clothes (since I was pregnant last fall & winter) and my closet and filled one and a half 40 gallon bags with clothes and shoes. I really did a good job and I did think about my colors while I did it... Missus Smarty Pants would be so proud! I was pretty ruthless and really purged. And not just the vintage Target (gasp) but actual fancy designer clothes and shoes. The stuff I have kept can all be put away and I am giving myself until summer to wear it... as in if I don't wear them this fall and winter I'm getting rid of them... I don't care how much it cost or who gave it to me... GONE! On top of all that I got all of Kid's summer clothes put away and her fall clothes out... and boxed up all her outgrown stuff for the Baby. I also changed over all the Baby's clothes which have been spilling out of bins all over the guest room for months... this, my friends, is a huge accomplishment since I have baby clothes coming out of my ears!
So I may have failed to meet my cleaning goals and my exercise goals but I did put my time to good use. I actually hope that finally taking care of something that has been cluttering both my physical space and my mental space will free me up to be more productive in general... I hope!
Friday, October 5, 2007
Greetings From Hell
"You need to play quietly for a little bit... cause Mommy is really hot and really grumpy and she needs quiet so she doesn't freak out."
Let me first say this was all my fault... All. My. Fault. And I take complete responsibility for how badly the current circumstances have unfolded... But if there is a Hell I have just returned from it.... And if ever I came close to actually leaving my children (well..one anyway) behind today is that day.
You should know that typing is difficult as my hands are literally shaking from pure physical and emotional exhaustion. Excuse me while I get myself a chocolate and some sparkling water.... okay I'm back.
Okay yesterday hearkening back to the good old days... aka pre Baby F... when Kid F wasn't such a pain in the ass and we used to go on little lunch dates and whatnot downtown... I decided to walk to the library with the kids this morning and take them out to lunch. It was going to be hot today but we'd go early... it wouldn't be too bad. To get downtown is 1.5 miles and you have to venture over two hills. We live just on the other side of the crest of a big but slowly inclining hill so most of the walk downtown you are entering into a kind of valley. Then you reach a VERY steep incline that spans about 2 blocks until you reach downtown proper. I gave Kid the option of walking while I pushed the stroller or riding in the bike trailer (converted to a doubl-ish stroller) with the baby. She wisely chose to ride. This would be our first attempt at using this as a stroller.
After some finagling I manage to squish them in there. Kid was having some serious wedgie issues which forced her to elbow the baby as she tried to dislodge her underwear. Baby wasn't enjoying this... and didn't like the abrasive straps... but with some movement I got them all to settle in. The way there was great... hard work... but hey I'm counting this as my exercise... look at me I'm "fit mom". Some homeless guy outside of the library even said "You got guns Momma!" Well that is like the greatest fucking thing anyone has ever said to me. I was feeling great! Oh and Baby F actually fell asleep in the trailer... even better I can focus on Kid! So we read some books and then Baby wakes up and does a crazy twist in the straps getting herself entangled and scraping most of her dimpled fleshy goodness with those damn straps. But she recovers and we are all happily playing and having a great time. "Hey I AM every woman... check it out... I walked downtown... we are playing... Kid doesn't hate me for once!" An old acquaintance shows up and asks incredulously "Did you walk here?" "Why yes I did!" It takes a fellow mom to know exactly how hard it is to push a trailer with over 60 pounds of child in it up a San Francisco style hill.
After all our library joyousness we were off to Kid's favorite lunch place. But Uh oh... Baby doesn't want anything to do with the trailer... screaming ensues... and my silent swearing because this trailer was designed by a complete fucking jackass... and Kid has to keep flopping into Baby's side because that is just what she does to tick me off. Well never mind... I AM every woman... mission accomplished... off we go. We arrive at Kid's favorite restaurant to find it packed... there is one table in the middle of the room... and Kid is devastated. She just doesn't understand that I am pushing a stroller the size of a Yugo and I'm not even sure I can get it in the door let alone have a place to put it while we eat. She wants me to leave it outside... but after just having our car stolen I'm not keen on the idea. So we continue on... Kid mildly tantruming... and me starting to realize the potential for disaster. It is now 12:30 and it is getting HOT.. the sun is blazing and the whole way home it will be directly in our eyes... yikes... must find food. Plus I'm now starving and I know Kid is and that spells violent butting of heads if it isn't remedied ASAP! After about 15 minutes we settle on a little cafe with outdoor seating... that way I can leave the trailer outside.. and their tables are in the shade. No highchairs though... that's okay don't worry about me, I'll just hold the wriggling 8 month old in my LAP while I try to eat my salad... this will be fun! Not only does this turn out to have been a bad choice on a lot of levels but despite seemingly only having 5 other tables we of course had the slowest service imaginable.
Okay an hour later we are done with our lunch... and despite asking for a brownie Kid is suddenly full... and I don't know why but that kind of stuff always pisses me off. Okay it is now 2pm... the sun is blazing and I have a half hour walk uphill literally the whole way to go while walking directly into the sun the entire way. Oh yeah I'm pushing the goddamn trailer with 60+pounds of kid in it, our bag and 10 pounds of books... uphill and into the sun for half and hour and it is just under 90 mother fucking degrees out! So I'm already a little apprehensive and maybe testy and I just want to get this over with as soon as humanly possible. But first I must buckle the kids into the trailer. I try to get Kid in first... this stupid fucking thing requires them to share a fucking buckle... in -fucking- genius engineering you goddamn mother fuckers! Okay Kid starts in with her flailing antics... like it is completely impossible for her to sit on half the goddamn seat... and any type of direction for her to do so results in her throwing herself halfway out of the trailer. About 10 people are outside at the cafe watching me do this... so smile everyone.. you are being judged right now... no fucking pressure... I AM every goddamn woman.. look at me... I can do this without threatening Kid... watch! So After about 5 minutes of tantruming 5 year old and screaming Baby we are off... or are we? Dammit the sun is right in Baby's face and she is none to pleased. She is getting pissed in the escalating kind of fashion you know you can't calm down. Meanwhile Kid is writhing and dramatically picking at her wedgie. Oops she elbows Baby who is now hysterical. I want to throttle Kid, but know that this is my fault, she wants to get out. Likelihood of Kid F walking a mile and a half under these conditions?... NIL. But really what are my choices? SO I take the Baby out and now demand that Kid get out.. because you better believe that if I am having to carry my 19 pound baby all the way home while pushing the trailer... the trailer will NOT have a 45 pound 5 year old in it... not while her legs still work! So I limp along at an infuriatingly slow pace holding the baby and pushing the trailer while Kid picks up her drama level ten fold and begins intentionally tripping and falling to the ground. I loudly ask her to walk "like a NORMAL kid!" When we make it to the next light and she decides to trip and fall practically into traffic and I realize this isn't going to happen... and my only choice is to try and get them in the trailer and make a run for it.
Keep in mind it is HOT really HOT and we are all red in the face and sweaty... there is NO shade... and yes it has only been 5 minutes. I order Kid into the trailer.. she begins with her wedgie antics and flailing... I make it clear I am not messing around. Mommy is hot... and anyone who knows me knows heat is my Kryptonite! Kid is losing her mind in there so I tell her to stand up and take her underwear off.. she can't believe what she is hearing but complies... then I tell her I am serious she needs to sit up and stay on her side. I pry Baby in... she is NOT happy. I literally begin running. I am not a runner... I do not run. I make it about 2/3rds of the way (no not running all the time) when Baby is just not going to take it anymore. I am literally dripping with sweat and I just want to leave the trailer on the side of the road and have a cab take us home. I get Baby out and put her in the sling. Now I am pretty thin and the sling doesn't get tight enough for this to be a really safe carrying method... plus we are both already covered in sweat and being bound together with a few yards of fabric is not going to help matters. Oh did I mention I had two iced teas and I really need to pee? How about that I am wearing sports sandals instead of sneakers and have a wood chip lodged under my foot? Don't worry I only have 10 more minutes to go! We make it home... Baby sweaty but asleep, Kid grumbling that she is starving... and me with a shaky body and spirit and a sweat soaked shirt.
Oh yeah.. that Chicken Soup I was going to make with Kid tonight... I think not.
Let me first say this was all my fault... All. My. Fault. And I take complete responsibility for how badly the current circumstances have unfolded... But if there is a Hell I have just returned from it.... And if ever I came close to actually leaving my children (well..one anyway) behind today is that day.
You should know that typing is difficult as my hands are literally shaking from pure physical and emotional exhaustion. Excuse me while I get myself a chocolate and some sparkling water.... okay I'm back.
Okay yesterday hearkening back to the good old days... aka pre Baby F... when Kid F wasn't such a pain in the ass and we used to go on little lunch dates and whatnot downtown... I decided to walk to the library with the kids this morning and take them out to lunch. It was going to be hot today but we'd go early... it wouldn't be too bad. To get downtown is 1.5 miles and you have to venture over two hills. We live just on the other side of the crest of a big but slowly inclining hill so most of the walk downtown you are entering into a kind of valley. Then you reach a VERY steep incline that spans about 2 blocks until you reach downtown proper. I gave Kid the option of walking while I pushed the stroller or riding in the bike trailer (converted to a doubl-ish stroller) with the baby. She wisely chose to ride. This would be our first attempt at using this as a stroller.
After some finagling I manage to squish them in there. Kid was having some serious wedgie issues which forced her to elbow the baby as she tried to dislodge her underwear. Baby wasn't enjoying this... and didn't like the abrasive straps... but with some movement I got them all to settle in. The way there was great... hard work... but hey I'm counting this as my exercise... look at me I'm "fit mom". Some homeless guy outside of the library even said "You got guns Momma!" Well that is like the greatest fucking thing anyone has ever said to me. I was feeling great! Oh and Baby F actually fell asleep in the trailer... even better I can focus on Kid! So we read some books and then Baby wakes up and does a crazy twist in the straps getting herself entangled and scraping most of her dimpled fleshy goodness with those damn straps. But she recovers and we are all happily playing and having a great time. "Hey I AM every woman... check it out... I walked downtown... we are playing... Kid doesn't hate me for once!" An old acquaintance shows up and asks incredulously "Did you walk here?" "Why yes I did!" It takes a fellow mom to know exactly how hard it is to push a trailer with over 60 pounds of child in it up a San Francisco style hill.
After all our library joyousness we were off to Kid's favorite lunch place. But Uh oh... Baby doesn't want anything to do with the trailer... screaming ensues... and my silent swearing because this trailer was designed by a complete fucking jackass... and Kid has to keep flopping into Baby's side because that is just what she does to tick me off. Well never mind... I AM every woman... mission accomplished... off we go. We arrive at Kid's favorite restaurant to find it packed... there is one table in the middle of the room... and Kid is devastated. She just doesn't understand that I am pushing a stroller the size of a Yugo and I'm not even sure I can get it in the door let alone have a place to put it while we eat. She wants me to leave it outside... but after just having our car stolen I'm not keen on the idea. So we continue on... Kid mildly tantruming... and me starting to realize the potential for disaster. It is now 12:30 and it is getting HOT.. the sun is blazing and the whole way home it will be directly in our eyes... yikes... must find food. Plus I'm now starving and I know Kid is and that spells violent butting of heads if it isn't remedied ASAP! After about 15 minutes we settle on a little cafe with outdoor seating... that way I can leave the trailer outside.. and their tables are in the shade. No highchairs though... that's okay don't worry about me, I'll just hold the wriggling 8 month old in my LAP while I try to eat my salad... this will be fun! Not only does this turn out to have been a bad choice on a lot of levels but despite seemingly only having 5 other tables we of course had the slowest service imaginable.
Okay an hour later we are done with our lunch... and despite asking for a brownie Kid is suddenly full... and I don't know why but that kind of stuff always pisses me off. Okay it is now 2pm... the sun is blazing and I have a half hour walk uphill literally the whole way to go while walking directly into the sun the entire way. Oh yeah I'm pushing the goddamn trailer with 60+pounds of kid in it, our bag and 10 pounds of books... uphill and into the sun for half and hour and it is just under 90 mother fucking degrees out! So I'm already a little apprehensive and maybe testy and I just want to get this over with as soon as humanly possible. But first I must buckle the kids into the trailer. I try to get Kid in first... this stupid fucking thing requires them to share a fucking buckle... in -fucking- genius engineering you goddamn mother fuckers! Okay Kid starts in with her flailing antics... like it is completely impossible for her to sit on half the goddamn seat... and any type of direction for her to do so results in her throwing herself halfway out of the trailer. About 10 people are outside at the cafe watching me do this... so smile everyone.. you are being judged right now... no fucking pressure... I AM every goddamn woman.. look at me... I can do this without threatening Kid... watch! So After about 5 minutes of tantruming 5 year old and screaming Baby we are off... or are we? Dammit the sun is right in Baby's face and she is none to pleased. She is getting pissed in the escalating kind of fashion you know you can't calm down. Meanwhile Kid is writhing and dramatically picking at her wedgie. Oops she elbows Baby who is now hysterical. I want to throttle Kid, but know that this is my fault, she wants to get out. Likelihood of Kid F walking a mile and a half under these conditions?... NIL. But really what are my choices? SO I take the Baby out and now demand that Kid get out.. because you better believe that if I am having to carry my 19 pound baby all the way home while pushing the trailer... the trailer will NOT have a 45 pound 5 year old in it... not while her legs still work! So I limp along at an infuriatingly slow pace holding the baby and pushing the trailer while Kid picks up her drama level ten fold and begins intentionally tripping and falling to the ground. I loudly ask her to walk "like a NORMAL kid!" When we make it to the next light and she decides to trip and fall practically into traffic and I realize this isn't going to happen... and my only choice is to try and get them in the trailer and make a run for it.
Keep in mind it is HOT really HOT and we are all red in the face and sweaty... there is NO shade... and yes it has only been 5 minutes. I order Kid into the trailer.. she begins with her wedgie antics and flailing... I make it clear I am not messing around. Mommy is hot... and anyone who knows me knows heat is my Kryptonite! Kid is losing her mind in there so I tell her to stand up and take her underwear off.. she can't believe what she is hearing but complies... then I tell her I am serious she needs to sit up and stay on her side. I pry Baby in... she is NOT happy. I literally begin running. I am not a runner... I do not run. I make it about 2/3rds of the way (no not running all the time) when Baby is just not going to take it anymore. I am literally dripping with sweat and I just want to leave the trailer on the side of the road and have a cab take us home. I get Baby out and put her in the sling. Now I am pretty thin and the sling doesn't get tight enough for this to be a really safe carrying method... plus we are both already covered in sweat and being bound together with a few yards of fabric is not going to help matters. Oh did I mention I had two iced teas and I really need to pee? How about that I am wearing sports sandals instead of sneakers and have a wood chip lodged under my foot? Don't worry I only have 10 more minutes to go! We make it home... Baby sweaty but asleep, Kid grumbling that she is starving... and me with a shaky body and spirit and a sweat soaked shirt.
Oh yeah.. that Chicken Soup I was going to make with Kid tonight... I think not.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Calling All Weight Loss Veterans... Or Barring That... Weight Loss Wannabes
Alright I'm getting ready to switch from "weight loss" mode to "maintenance" mode... and frankly I'm scared out of my mind. I have a lot of thoughts... lots and lots of thoughts about this next step.
More on all of that later.
What I want now is to hear from you (YES YOU!).
Come out of your lurking status and let me know how you did it... or how you plan to do it.
How did you know when you were done losing weight?
What changes have you made to your lifestyle to keep the weight off?
Have you kept the weight off?
I think it would be so valuable to hear how your plans for maintenance panned out in reality.
What things were bigger hurdles than you expected?
Were you able to maintain at your lowest weight or did you have to find a more comfortable weight?
What dieting habits have you kept and which ones did you let go of?
And for all of you who haven't reached this point... you will... and when you do have you thought about how you plan to keep it off?
More on all of that later.
What I want now is to hear from you (YES YOU!).
Come out of your lurking status and let me know how you did it... or how you plan to do it.
How did you know when you were done losing weight?
What changes have you made to your lifestyle to keep the weight off?
Have you kept the weight off?
I think it would be so valuable to hear how your plans for maintenance panned out in reality.
What things were bigger hurdles than you expected?
Were you able to maintain at your lowest weight or did you have to find a more comfortable weight?
What dieting habits have you kept and which ones did you let go of?
And for all of you who haven't reached this point... you will... and when you do have you thought about how you plan to keep it off?
In The Kitchen With Kid.. Kid Proves Herself
Oh my god... Kid has turned out to be a culinary genius!
Last week while in CT visiting my in-laws we went to an Italian chain restaurant called Bertucci's. They hand out a portion of pizza dough to the kids... I'm not sure why.. anyway Kid didn't play with it or eat it (or whatever the intention was) so I put it in my bag and we took it home. When we got to my in-laws my Mother-in-law was making an apple pie. Kid took her pizza dough and put some cut up apple bits on it and cinnamon and covered it with pie crust scraps and grape halves. I know that doesn't sound great but it was actually not bad.
Fast forward... I'm making bread today so I saved her a dinner roll sized chunk of dough and let her go at it. Meanwhile I made a small portion of pie crust (1/4c flour, 1/8 t salt, 1 T shortening & 1/2 T of water). She rolled out her bread dough and put sliced banana, chocolate chips and cinnamon on it (Okay I did steer her in this direction... I do have to eat it when it is done!).
Then she rolled out a golf ball sized portion of pie crust and put it on top.
I brushed it with half & half and popped it in a 400 degree oven for 20 minutes.
While it was baking I had my doubts... but sweet fucking jesus this tastes exactly like chocolate babka... with only a fraction of the fat. Added bonus... you only need the cooking skills of a five year old to pull it off! I'm being completely serious...this is good!
This makes one wicked faux babka at 250 calories...or it share it with your mom for 125 calories a piece!
Last week while in CT visiting my in-laws we went to an Italian chain restaurant called Bertucci's. They hand out a portion of pizza dough to the kids... I'm not sure why.. anyway Kid didn't play with it or eat it (or whatever the intention was) so I put it in my bag and we took it home. When we got to my in-laws my Mother-in-law was making an apple pie. Kid took her pizza dough and put some cut up apple bits on it and cinnamon and covered it with pie crust scraps and grape halves. I know that doesn't sound great but it was actually not bad.
Fast forward... I'm making bread today so I saved her a dinner roll sized chunk of dough and let her go at it. Meanwhile I made a small portion of pie crust (1/4c flour, 1/8 t salt, 1 T shortening & 1/2 T of water). She rolled out her bread dough and put sliced banana, chocolate chips and cinnamon on it (Okay I did steer her in this direction... I do have to eat it when it is done!).
Then she rolled out a golf ball sized portion of pie crust and put it on top.
I brushed it with half & half and popped it in a 400 degree oven for 20 minutes. While it was baking I had my doubts... but sweet fucking jesus this tastes exactly like chocolate babka... with only a fraction of the fat. Added bonus... you only need the cooking skills of a five year old to pull it off! I'm being completely serious...this is good!
This makes one wicked faux babka at 250 calories...or it share it with your mom for 125 calories a piece!
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Yum in Your Tum
Don't doubt me... this will be the BEST cobbler you have ever had!
This is not crisp... this is cobbler. There are no oats or crunchy bits. There is the most amazing cakey goodness atop your fruit. Deliciousness. I got this recipe from my uncle's ex-wife. Most people thought she was crazy, but hey I am certainly not one to judge so we always got along fine ;) She was possibly the best home baker I have ever known. And that is saying something because, people, I take my baking real seriously!
Read the whole recipe first since I have broken the ingredients down within the instructions.
Fruit Cobbler
preheat your oven to 350 degrees
5 c (about) fruit, sliced or prepped (that's 5 med sized apples)
3 T - 4T brown sugar (depending on tartness of fruit)
3 T flour
6 -7 dashes cinnamon or about half as much nutmeg (or a mix of each)
combine the above ingredients in a 8" square glass dish (or similar) coating the fruit thoroughly.
in a separate bowl beat 1 egg
sift into the egg 1 c flour (and by sift I mean dump)
and 1 c white sugar
mix together with a fork until crumbly
pour egg mixture evenly on top of fruit mixture
melt 6 T butter and pour over the top of the cobbler. Do this slowly, you want to coat the entire surface with butter.
bake for 45 min in a hot 350 degree oven
makes 9 servings at 250 calories a piece (made with apples) .. that does not take into account the vanilla ice cream you will most certainly want with this!
*notes
This is unbelievably good made with plums (red plums being the best). I know that might seem unusual to some but it is fantastic... leave the plum skin on! But hey I got this out to you all a little late in the season for that.... go peel your apples!
Also as in all baked goods, unless otherwise specified, you should be using unsalted butter.
And yeah go ahead and click on that picture to see it in all its up close glory! :)
This is not crisp... this is cobbler. There are no oats or crunchy bits. There is the most amazing cakey goodness atop your fruit. Deliciousness. I got this recipe from my uncle's ex-wife. Most people thought she was crazy, but hey I am certainly not one to judge so we always got along fine ;) She was possibly the best home baker I have ever known. And that is saying something because, people, I take my baking real seriously!
Read the whole recipe first since I have broken the ingredients down within the instructions.
Fruit Cobbler
preheat your oven to 350 degrees
5 c (about) fruit, sliced or prepped (that's 5 med sized apples)
3 T - 4T brown sugar (depending on tartness of fruit)
3 T flour
6 -7 dashes cinnamon or about half as much nutmeg (or a mix of each)
combine the above ingredients in a 8" square glass dish (or similar) coating the fruit thoroughly.
in a separate bowl beat 1 egg
sift into the egg 1 c flour (and by sift I mean dump)
and 1 c white sugar
mix together with a fork until crumbly
pour egg mixture evenly on top of fruit mixture
melt 6 T butter and pour over the top of the cobbler. Do this slowly, you want to coat the entire surface with butter.
bake for 45 min in a hot 350 degree oven
makes 9 servings at 250 calories a piece (made with apples) .. that does not take into account the vanilla ice cream you will most certainly want with this!
*notes
This is unbelievably good made with plums (red plums being the best). I know that might seem unusual to some but it is fantastic... leave the plum skin on! But hey I got this out to you all a little late in the season for that.... go peel your apples!
Also as in all baked goods, unless otherwise specified, you should be using unsalted butter.
And yeah go ahead and click on that picture to see it in all its up close glory! :)
Oops He Did It Again
So last night Mr F touches my hair and says "The funny thing about all that is that I actually have been liking your hair lately."
"Now?" I reply somewhat incredulously
"Well... not now." He answers
Keep it up Mr Fat Pants!
"Now?" I reply somewhat incredulously
"Well... not now." He answers
Keep it up Mr Fat Pants!
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
For Your Viewing Pleasure
Here is a hoodie the girls wanted me to get. I know you might be thinking... what's the big deal with that? ... Oh nothing... unless you count the fact that it is an extra small! I didn't even realize that until I got home. It is kind of hard to tell what this looks like in the photos.. but I assure you it is kind of modern-y cute in a Target sort of way. The earrings I was a bit skeptical of... they seemed a little jewel-y gold-y for my taste but what the hell do I know... after wearing them all day I've decided I like them... so good job girls! The other things I got I think I'm going to return. Either Mr F thinks they look weird or as he so eloquently said "like a bathrobe" or I'm not sure they are completely flattering. I mean Target isn't exactly known for their well fitting clothes! I know, I know... maybe I should try shopping someplace that doesn't also sell toilet paper!
Monday, October 1, 2007
Back To The Usual Good Humored Fluff You've Come To Expect
Late last night after finally getting both girls to bed I turn to Mr F and say "God I need to do something about my hair... it looks terrible"
And Mr Furious replies "Not always" with a completely straight face.
If I had been eating I believe that I might have started choking.
Not fucking always!?!
Wrong goddamn answer Mr. F!
And Mr Furious replies "Not always" with a completely straight face.
If I had been eating I believe that I might have started choking.
Not fucking always!?!
Wrong goddamn answer Mr. F!
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