Mr F agreed to do a video with me about our new plan. That should be good quality entertainment!
Kid had her bi-annual neurology check-up. He's really the greatest peds doctor of any kind we've ever seen. Such amazing bedside manner. Since Kid has gone about 9 months without any neuro symptom (no more cyclical vomiting... remember that from last year?!!)... she is now discharged.
It's kind of amazing. This has been a really long, stressful experience.
And it is the small things... like... I don't have to list this, or her neuro contact on her medical forms anymore.
Every single time I did, it brought it all back, and the worry that... shit... something still might happen. (It still might... just really unlikely now)
After everything she has gone through, she really is one of the lucky kids that seems to have outgrown it.
On the other side of things... he is referring her to the OCD/Anxiety specialist clinic at U of M.
I almost forgot to mention all of that stuff and those symptoms to him, but then it came to me. I'm glad I had that traveling thought at the right time... "oh you know brains... listen to this!"
All of this stuff is so interrelated and overlapping, he wasn't surprised in the least.
Not even that we took her out of school... or that she's thriving at home... that's all supportive evidence in a way.
But he did think it was enough of an issue that she needs to start working with an OCD specialist.
I also said... "and this behavior (nodding to her protective cocooned up body position which she maintained the entire visit)... " "Is not just for the doctor's visit?" He added. "Right." I said.
"They also have Anxiety specialists." He said and handed me a referral.
And, that, didn't even feel bad. These days, every time someone acknowledges and validates my experience with this stuff... I don't feel overwhelmed with "why did this have to happen?" type thoughts. Taking her out of school has really alleviated a lot of my worry. She's smart, capable, and funny as hell. She'll make her way. Maybe not following a traditional path, but she'll have a purposeful, happy, productive life. I mean... hasn't every genius had some sort of mental disorder? Exactly. Let's focus on that.
Now let me speak generally for a minute... because I can... and I think it's important...
A lot of time people, well meaning but grossly misinformed people, send the very strong message that "they'll figure it out on their own" or "let them do it" or "they need to learn to stand up for themselves"... messages that what ails Kid (or similar kids) is overprotective parents. That ALL kids are capable of being at a certain level at a certain age... and, it just isn't true. Some children (some adults) just can't (nor do they want, nor is it even beneficial) to have that level of independence and responsibility. It's just too stressful. Not everyone grows out of it, or into it. And if they do... it might not be at the age that is "acceptable" to others. So my message is... please... when you see a child (or an adult) that doesn't act the way you think is appropriate, or a parent you think is being overprotective or overly permissive... take a moment to remove your judgments. Not every child that is acting out (be it externally or internally.... if you've seen my child at a social function you may know what I'm talking about) is doing so because they are spoiled brats and their parents let them run all over them. They may be doing what is right for them at that time. They may be doing all that they can, just to be there. They might be working on it.
And if you are thinking... and I know some people are... it just can't be that there are this many more kids with *issues*. Well, you are factually wrong. There are. We may not know the reasons, but it is a fact. The other thing is that in generations past, children with issues weren't mainstreamed the way they are (thankfully) now. And that medical knowledge and treatment methods are different (thankfully) and parents are more informed. These children are more visible, and their behaviors are more tolerated... because the alternative isn't *growing out of it* or *shaping up* it's long term, detrimental, negative self-beliefs. And those children turn into angry and or depressed adults. And that is a very real outcome. Very real. We're not all created equal... some of us a smarter, some more insightful, some are more sensitive, some are more afraid. There is room for everyone. Lets not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Lots of *special needs* kids have extraordinary intellectual gifts. So what if they can't sit at the Thanksgiving dinner table? Or preform in a recital? What if they're going to win a Nobel Prize one day... if... they are allowed to thrive in a world that can make some allowance for difference. IF their parents are allowed a little more breathing room and support for caring for their child in the best way they can.
Because one day... it might be your kid, or grandkid, or nephew... and all those preconceived notions you had, will wash away. And you'll just want everyone to be a bit more patient, a bit more understanding, a bit more generous.
Later last night I said to Kid...
"Are you mad that I told him all those things?" (talking about her compulsions)
"Yes. I do them because I want to." Kid said.
"I know, but that's kind of the point." I said.
"Oh." Kid said and started laughing.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Updates
Yesterday is what Mr F calls "The Greatest Day of The Year"... and he's not talking about Christ rising from the dead.
He's talking about my family's annual Easter Dinner at my grandmother's club.
It features an amazing dessert buffet of miniatures...which reminds him of the time we went to that big Italian wedding and they had a Venetian hour. Have you ever been to one of those?! It's insane. That was about 12 years ago and we're still talking about it.
The Easter Bunny left candy I don't like... (I'm not a complete saint though since I bought a bag of Robin's Eggs when I was grocery shopping... and then ate them all in a 72 hour time span). I'm a little worried about this week's weigh-in but hoping I can manage a loss considering the bag of candy & the dessert buffet.
We're starting our 3rd week of swim team. Uh... it's an intense time commitment (for me). Especially since she still has Brownies, horseback riding, and hasn't given up her twice weekly swim lessons (she loves her teacher). All in all we have at least one evening pre-dinner activity but most often have two. Baby has been doing great (playdough was a genius idea! I also have several color wonder sets we use only at lessons)... I, on the other hand... feel a bit time stressed trying to juggle everything and make healthy dinners every night. On the upside, I get a nice bit of social time with the swim moms... on the downside... one of them is full on crazy. (a woman I refer to as "Competo"). The swim team is just having a short Spring season and ends the end of May. I think we'll mull it over and think about re-joining in the Fall. I need my summer freedom. We'll keep up with her 2x weekly lessons in the meantime and think about it more for Fall/Winter exercise.
We also have to do a bit more research on the horse issue... it looks like $136 a month for 2x a week lessons. Horse people, what do you think? Good price? Too cheap?.... I don't really know too much about what we should be expecting. All of the parents and kids milling about have stayed at this stable for years and love it. It just doesn't seem very organized (she's had a different teacher every week).
In the course of my genealogy research I've discovered I'm related to Abraham Lincoln (for real... and not really that distantly). That's pretty much the holy grail (unless you are a Confederate). The kids are extremely excited about this. Mr F said "That's where you got your brows." Word. Take out a penny, cover up the beard...
Also, Mr F and I may have stumbled on (read: I have meticulously developed) the answer to all (okay most of) our marital woes. After implementing one simple small thing... I think it's safe to say we've had a 80-90% improvement in all areas. No joke. We're on week three. Maybe Mr F will have the guts to back me up. It's kind of the food journalling equivalent to marital bliss. I developed this plan based on our ADD issues (this is not a joke... anyone who is living with a partner with ADD knows... and it really does correlate with a very high divorce rate. It takes the same amount of patience, understanding, work, and planning that you imagine goes into a child with the disorder... but it goes on FOREVER). So, while I actually think every marriage could improve... I'll maybe write more about it (I should probably give it a longer test period!)... I think that it's particularly helpful for people with ADD. I will say, to toot my own horn (someone's got to) that I have worked very hard over the last couple of years to understand and acknowledge the roll the ADD plays in our marriage... and not experience it as intentional behavior. My psychologist is amazed at where I am now with it, versus where I was when we moved to North Carolina three years ago. I haven't put up a Ways In Which I've Been Wronged post in awhile... which doesn't mean I don't get pissed off... but I'm working on letting things go (key word: working). It takes work, it takes getting over yourself (even if your partner will never understand how much), and it takes work... did I already say that? It also takes a spouse who is willing to work towards acknowledging their disorder (which might be the biggest and most challenging component). So that's my spiel on that, for the day.
That's it.
And that's enough.
He's talking about my family's annual Easter Dinner at my grandmother's club.
It features an amazing dessert buffet of miniatures...which reminds him of the time we went to that big Italian wedding and they had a Venetian hour. Have you ever been to one of those?! It's insane. That was about 12 years ago and we're still talking about it.
The Easter Bunny left candy I don't like... (I'm not a complete saint though since I bought a bag of Robin's Eggs when I was grocery shopping... and then ate them all in a 72 hour time span). I'm a little worried about this week's weigh-in but hoping I can manage a loss considering the bag of candy & the dessert buffet.
We're starting our 3rd week of swim team. Uh... it's an intense time commitment (for me). Especially since she still has Brownies, horseback riding, and hasn't given up her twice weekly swim lessons (she loves her teacher). All in all we have at least one evening pre-dinner activity but most often have two. Baby has been doing great (playdough was a genius idea! I also have several color wonder sets we use only at lessons)... I, on the other hand... feel a bit time stressed trying to juggle everything and make healthy dinners every night. On the upside, I get a nice bit of social time with the swim moms... on the downside... one of them is full on crazy. (a woman I refer to as "Competo"). The swim team is just having a short Spring season and ends the end of May. I think we'll mull it over and think about re-joining in the Fall. I need my summer freedom. We'll keep up with her 2x weekly lessons in the meantime and think about it more for Fall/Winter exercise.
We also have to do a bit more research on the horse issue... it looks like $136 a month for 2x a week lessons. Horse people, what do you think? Good price? Too cheap?.... I don't really know too much about what we should be expecting. All of the parents and kids milling about have stayed at this stable for years and love it. It just doesn't seem very organized (she's had a different teacher every week).
In the course of my genealogy research I've discovered I'm related to Abraham Lincoln (for real... and not really that distantly). That's pretty much the holy grail (unless you are a Confederate). The kids are extremely excited about this. Mr F said "That's where you got your brows." Word. Take out a penny, cover up the beard...
Also, Mr F and I may have stumbled on (read: I have meticulously developed) the answer to all (okay most of) our marital woes. After implementing one simple small thing... I think it's safe to say we've had a 80-90% improvement in all areas. No joke. We're on week three. Maybe Mr F will have the guts to back me up. It's kind of the food journalling equivalent to marital bliss. I developed this plan based on our ADD issues (this is not a joke... anyone who is living with a partner with ADD knows... and it really does correlate with a very high divorce rate. It takes the same amount of patience, understanding, work, and planning that you imagine goes into a child with the disorder... but it goes on FOREVER). So, while I actually think every marriage could improve... I'll maybe write more about it (I should probably give it a longer test period!)... I think that it's particularly helpful for people with ADD. I will say, to toot my own horn (someone's got to) that I have worked very hard over the last couple of years to understand and acknowledge the roll the ADD plays in our marriage... and not experience it as intentional behavior. My psychologist is amazed at where I am now with it, versus where I was when we moved to North Carolina three years ago. I haven't put up a Ways In Which I've Been Wronged post in awhile... which doesn't mean I don't get pissed off... but I'm working on letting things go (key word: working). It takes work, it takes getting over yourself (even if your partner will never understand how much), and it takes work... did I already say that? It also takes a spouse who is willing to work towards acknowledging their disorder (which might be the biggest and most challenging component). So that's my spiel on that, for the day.
That's it.
And that's enough.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
For Shame
Welp, I'm up a half pound from last week.
Disappointing... for sure... but honestly, I'm not too discouraged and am just continuing on as if nothing happened.
#1 I have been very sick since Saturday and I just haven't had the energy to get as many workouts in. So I only worked out 4 times instead of 6.
#2 My usually dead, dead, dead social life was in an upswing last weekend. I had a party (one of those product ones... but still... I'm desperate for any kind of social life, so it counts), a crazy full day of shopping out with the family (and 2 restaurant meals), and Mr F and I finally had a babysitter and really lived it up on one of our only dates out in the last 8.5 years (seriously people... I think we've had a babysitter less than 8 times the entire time we've had kids). So that ended up being 3 nights I went over my calorie limit.
Lesson learned... 6 days of cardio and sticking to my 1450 limit worked... working out 4 times and overeating (within reason... but ... still a couple hundred over several times)... does not.
I'm human.
Forgive me.
The good news is outside of Easter dinner, I really have no more social events (or chances for sabotage) in the near future. Also, after our date we decided we'd much rather use that time to go out to a movie next time than eat anyway.
And, despite my hiccup, I'm still down 2.5 in 2 weeks... which is still good! My goal is 10 pounds in 10 weeks (4/6-6/15) and in the big picture I'm right on track.
And, yes, if I can gather the courage I will take progress photos.
Disappointing... for sure... but honestly, I'm not too discouraged and am just continuing on as if nothing happened.
#1 I have been very sick since Saturday and I just haven't had the energy to get as many workouts in. So I only worked out 4 times instead of 6.
#2 My usually dead, dead, dead social life was in an upswing last weekend. I had a party (one of those product ones... but still... I'm desperate for any kind of social life, so it counts), a crazy full day of shopping out with the family (and 2 restaurant meals), and Mr F and I finally had a babysitter and really lived it up on one of our only dates out in the last 8.5 years (seriously people... I think we've had a babysitter less than 8 times the entire time we've had kids). So that ended up being 3 nights I went over my calorie limit.
Lesson learned... 6 days of cardio and sticking to my 1450 limit worked... working out 4 times and overeating (within reason... but ... still a couple hundred over several times)... does not.
I'm human.
Forgive me.
The good news is outside of Easter dinner, I really have no more social events (or chances for sabotage) in the near future. Also, after our date we decided we'd much rather use that time to go out to a movie next time than eat anyway.
And, despite my hiccup, I'm still down 2.5 in 2 weeks... which is still good! My goal is 10 pounds in 10 weeks (4/6-6/15) and in the big picture I'm right on track.
And, yes, if I can gather the courage I will take progress photos.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
007
In an effort to make up for all of our recent pet loss, I let the kids bring home a pair of goldfish the other day.
(And, yes, I know what you are thinking... are goldfish... a pet with a 10 day warranty... really the best pet for grief stricken children? I know. But our last set of goldfish I kept alive for over 3 years, so I was maybe misguidedly hopeful. And having spent close to $1000 on pets, pet medical treatment, cremation, pet adoption, pet return... fish are cheap)
4 weeks later...
Thankfully, this time it was Baby's pet that bit the dust.
She has a much rosier outlook on death...
"It's great when your fish dies! When it is Your... Own... Fish.... you can dig the hole!" Baby shouts jubilantly.
(And, yes, I know what you are thinking... are goldfish... a pet with a 10 day warranty... really the best pet for grief stricken children? I know. But our last set of goldfish I kept alive for over 3 years, so I was maybe misguidedly hopeful. And having spent close to $1000 on pets, pet medical treatment, cremation, pet adoption, pet return... fish are cheap)
4 weeks later...
Thankfully, this time it was Baby's pet that bit the dust.
She has a much rosier outlook on death...
"It's great when your fish dies! When it is Your... Own... Fish.... you can dig the hole!" Baby shouts jubilantly.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
I Say This... Only Because I Wish Someone Had Said This To Me
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They Work
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Get Some
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
I'm Bringing Sexy Back (if you don't count the abdomen... and people, I don't)
I've been meaning to mention... but not wanting to jinx... my recent efforts & success.
After returning from Chicago last week I set to getting serious about getting back in shape.
I've lost 3 pounds this week.
I have gotten back in the groove of my evening 60 min treadmill workouts (which no matter what works for you... just is... the ONLY thing that works for me).
The thing for me is, as hard as it is to say I want to commit that time allotment everyday... the reality is shorter workouts just don't do it for me. I only like working out if I can get an endorphin rush and I don't get that until I've crossed the 45 min mark. It makes all the difference for me in terms of my ability to stick to it. So, I am making it work. If you don't enjoy it, you just aren't going to stick to it. So, it doesn't really matter if there are shorter workouts out there... I've tried 'em... I just don't get the feeling I need to get from them in order to want to do it again. And all this time, really pretty much an entire year since Mr F first moved to MI, I haven't been able to figure out how to workout in the basement, removed from the kids, for an hour... without having them watch TV during that time. It took some time, to work around all of our scheduling issues.. but I think I've got it, now. We've pushed our entire schedule back (which thanks to homeschooling can work) and that gives me 2 hours between dinner & the girls bedtime. Because it's later, Mr F is generally home... and if not I don't feel guilty about TV for the kids, I finish my workout by 9:30 and then run up to put Kid to bed. It took Spring Break for me to try this, and seeing that I really could fit it in with a little wiggling... that's what we'll do. Also, just emotionally... evening workouts have always been a major stress reliever for me. I can really let all of my stress & anger (or whatever) go and then enjoy my evening with Mr F.
As for the food, I am diligently weighing, measuring & counting everything. Instead of using a site to input (which is just more work for me) I'm writing it on a "note" on my iPhone. When I'm done for the day I record my totals (calories, exercise, weight on weigh in day) on my phone's calendar. It's been a really easy (always available) way to track everything and be able to look back, without amassing any clutter. I've settled on 1450-1500 cal a day. With a 3 pound loss (I've also done 6 - 60 min workouts) it's obviously a good target. I'm not hungry... but I do have to be diligent and extremely conscientious to keep in that limit. I could probably raise my calorie limit up a bit... but, hell... if I'm not dying of hunger, I'd really rather get through this weight loss phase as quickly as possible.
So that's that. I am not surprisingly finding success doing it that exact same way I did 4 years ago. Sometimes it takes awhile to say "oh you know that thing that worked... why don't you try doing that?", I guess. In seriousness, I just haven't been in a place to put myself first in this past year. With selling the house and being separated for 4 months during the move, then buying a house & unpacking, getting Kid in school & then taking her out, adjusting to Mr F's work hours and to the added responsibility of homeschooling... it was just a lot for me to juggle. So, I'm here, now. I'm trying to keep present and aware of how easy it is to do, and how much better I feel when I'm doing it... so I can move forward and not sabotage myself. The truth is, it just takes so much less energy to do it, than it does to think about doing it. Which is crazy.
After returning from Chicago last week I set to getting serious about getting back in shape.
I've lost 3 pounds this week.
I have gotten back in the groove of my evening 60 min treadmill workouts (which no matter what works for you... just is... the ONLY thing that works for me).
The thing for me is, as hard as it is to say I want to commit that time allotment everyday... the reality is shorter workouts just don't do it for me. I only like working out if I can get an endorphin rush and I don't get that until I've crossed the 45 min mark. It makes all the difference for me in terms of my ability to stick to it. So, I am making it work. If you don't enjoy it, you just aren't going to stick to it. So, it doesn't really matter if there are shorter workouts out there... I've tried 'em... I just don't get the feeling I need to get from them in order to want to do it again. And all this time, really pretty much an entire year since Mr F first moved to MI, I haven't been able to figure out how to workout in the basement, removed from the kids, for an hour... without having them watch TV during that time. It took some time, to work around all of our scheduling issues.. but I think I've got it, now. We've pushed our entire schedule back (which thanks to homeschooling can work) and that gives me 2 hours between dinner & the girls bedtime. Because it's later, Mr F is generally home... and if not I don't feel guilty about TV for the kids, I finish my workout by 9:30 and then run up to put Kid to bed. It took Spring Break for me to try this, and seeing that I really could fit it in with a little wiggling... that's what we'll do. Also, just emotionally... evening workouts have always been a major stress reliever for me. I can really let all of my stress & anger (or whatever) go and then enjoy my evening with Mr F.
As for the food, I am diligently weighing, measuring & counting everything. Instead of using a site to input (which is just more work for me) I'm writing it on a "note" on my iPhone. When I'm done for the day I record my totals (calories, exercise, weight on weigh in day) on my phone's calendar. It's been a really easy (always available) way to track everything and be able to look back, without amassing any clutter. I've settled on 1450-1500 cal a day. With a 3 pound loss (I've also done 6 - 60 min workouts) it's obviously a good target. I'm not hungry... but I do have to be diligent and extremely conscientious to keep in that limit. I could probably raise my calorie limit up a bit... but, hell... if I'm not dying of hunger, I'd really rather get through this weight loss phase as quickly as possible.
So that's that. I am not surprisingly finding success doing it that exact same way I did 4 years ago. Sometimes it takes awhile to say "oh you know that thing that worked... why don't you try doing that?", I guess. In seriousness, I just haven't been in a place to put myself first in this past year. With selling the house and being separated for 4 months during the move, then buying a house & unpacking, getting Kid in school & then taking her out, adjusting to Mr F's work hours and to the added responsibility of homeschooling... it was just a lot for me to juggle. So, I'm here, now. I'm trying to keep present and aware of how easy it is to do, and how much better I feel when I'm doing it... so I can move forward and not sabotage myself. The truth is, it just takes so much less energy to do it, than it does to think about doing it. Which is crazy.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
It's Really Hard For Me That I Didn't Think Of Doing This Myself
I've never, in my life, been more jealous of someone else's genius...
Here is their YouTube page... definitely check out more of their videos. I am beyond amazed by this project and these teachers. Scroll through their uploads (52 of them), at the top right hand corner of their YouTube page, by clicking See All.
I was up until 3 AM bearing witness to their awesomeness.
This just added a whole new layer of cool to the homeschooling curriculum.
Here is their YouTube page... definitely check out more of their videos. I am beyond amazed by this project and these teachers. Scroll through their uploads (52 of them), at the top right hand corner of their YouTube page, by clicking See All.
I was up until 3 AM bearing witness to their awesomeness.
This just added a whole new layer of cool to the homeschooling curriculum.
Friday, April 8, 2011
I don't know if she's ever been happier...
Then she was on her ride home after her 1st horseback riding lesson.
She gushed and gushed about it. I thought her grin was going to split her face in half. I had to make her take her riding pants off (the very same pants that had been uncomfortable before the lesson... we're now "So Comfortable!").
A good hour later she wanders up to me at the stove and says as nonchalantly as she could muster...
"Horseback riding was very interesting."
Indeed.
She gushed and gushed about it. I thought her grin was going to split her face in half. I had to make her take her riding pants off (the very same pants that had been uncomfortable before the lesson... we're now "So Comfortable!").
A good hour later she wanders up to me at the stove and says as nonchalantly as she could muster...
"Horseback riding was very interesting."
Indeed.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
And Another One Bites The Dust
Sometime, the end of last week, I realized that this was "Spring Break". And considering the amount of stress that went into last week's tax fiasco, and the fact that we haven't had a vacation... and kind of desperately needed one... I took matters into my own hands. I snagged an amazing deal (traveling mid-week will do that) on The Palmer House Hotel, right off Michigan Ave in Chicago. It was the perfect location for walking... and the beds were the best hotel beds ever (except maybe the W beds... but on par) The weather didn't exactly cooperate... but it could have been worse. Since Mr F's car and gas are all covered by his job... Chicago has become our perfect short trip from home mini-vacation destination. The drive is (for our kids) a breeze, and you can pack in a lot of activity in two days. It was a good break from our routine. And, again, Chicago is hands down the cleanest city we've ever been in.
Also, there is an Amercian Girl Doll store there. If you hadn't noticed. This doll has been purchased on loan, to be paid back with chores. I have a feeling the lender will lose on this arrangement... but it was all I could come up with to not just buy her such a special doll for no occasion. Still kept the doll value at a premium, in her mind. The truth is, that as a lover of history, it's really hard for me to not buy these dolls (obviously).
We'd been planning on going on a bigger Disney vacation, but, we missed the deal season of the Fall, and I just can't do Disney once it's hot... or full price. We've got a decent amount stashed away now that our mortgage isn't like 90% of our take home pay... but full price Disney is hard to swallow, even if I think a good vacation is important for your mental health. Any way... despite promising the kids we'd go back in November... we're going to skip it. It was a tough call... the last year was a hard one and we never really have had that chance to recover as a family. But, every month we put Disney off the easier it is to just move forward. I mean the weather is almost nice, here... right??!
As much as we love Disney (we do) we really have been there and done that (and only that). We kind of want a change, but it's hard to find a place that is cheaper and still offers legitimate fun for kids of all ages. That is where Disney kicks it. And there is something to be said for that. What Mr F and I really REALLY want to do is take the family on an extended European trip (like rent a house for a month) in about 4 years, when the kids are heartier (8 &12... yikes! time flies) ... so... with that goal in mind it's easier to pass on a 3-4K trip to Disney. It's the damn airfare that kills it now that we need 4 full price seats. If we can diligently bankroll that vacation fund we'll be set.
Lately, Mr F and I have been known to watch 5-6 episodes of House Hunters International every Friday... and truth be told... I might beg him to try and get a job at a European car magazine on a fairly routine basis. So, you just never know where you are going to find us in two years (not really... but... maybe???). I just miss living in a city. I've convinced myself that if I can't live in a city I should try living in the Slovenian countryside with all the British ex-pats... it's gorgeous... and dirt cheap. Those Brits are on to something.
I've been scouring the closing Borders for their deeply discounted Rosetta Stone just in case.
Well, anyway, this is where the big European trip comes in. Trying to keep my wanderlust in check. Although, I don't know if that is possible.
Plus, it's one of the awesome benefits of homeschooling. One year's private school tuition would cover an amazing trip. I could rent a house and Mr F could fly out for his vacation allotment. Oh, to live the dream...
Maybe we will. Wouldn't that be awesome?
Something to keep the weekly grocery trips to Meijer less soul-sucking, at least.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Hey Ho
Kid just got bumped up from her swimming lessons to a competitive swim team.
We're really proud of her and excited that she has found a sport (a lifetime one at that) that she really enjoys.
BUT I'm interested in hearing from any swim team parents about what this time commitment, etc., is like.
She's starting out with training 4 times a week.
Which, again, if she likes it... is just amazing year round exercise.
And while there are certainly costs, it seems that swimming is one of the cheaper sports (I may be grossly misinformed... let me know).
The good news for us, is that as homeschoolers, we can actually fit in the training without it being a stress time-wise.
The bad news is that this means four days a week of trying to find a way to entertain Baby while we wait out her lessons (which is a definite concern... that's a lot to ask out of a 4 year old).
Any swim team experience or insights would be greatly appreciated.
She won't start doing meets until the Fall... so I don't have to worry about that right now. But, I'd love to know what that will entail. Especially since parents are required to volunteer at a couple meets every year.
Also, price wise... we're looking at $50 a month for 4 times a week training. That seems really good to me... but are there costs that are going to come up once they are attending meets?
Okay... over and out.
We're really proud of her and excited that she has found a sport (a lifetime one at that) that she really enjoys.
BUT I'm interested in hearing from any swim team parents about what this time commitment, etc., is like.
She's starting out with training 4 times a week.
Which, again, if she likes it... is just amazing year round exercise.
And while there are certainly costs, it seems that swimming is one of the cheaper sports (I may be grossly misinformed... let me know).
The good news for us, is that as homeschoolers, we can actually fit in the training without it being a stress time-wise.
The bad news is that this means four days a week of trying to find a way to entertain Baby while we wait out her lessons (which is a definite concern... that's a lot to ask out of a 4 year old).
Any swim team experience or insights would be greatly appreciated.
She won't start doing meets until the Fall... so I don't have to worry about that right now. But, I'd love to know what that will entail. Especially since parents are required to volunteer at a couple meets every year.
Also, price wise... we're looking at $50 a month for 4 times a week training. That seems really good to me... but are there costs that are going to come up once they are attending meets?
Okay... over and out.
Another Tax Season... Another Potential Trip To A Divorce Lawyer
People.
People!
Not only did I file our goddamn taxes last week...
Including various assorted complications with ...
a) having partial year residencies in two different states
b) Mr F having his own freelance business
and
c) Mr F being the one of the most disorganized, forgetful, fiscally irresponsible humans on the face of the Earth
I, also, got the pleasure of redoing all of them TODAY.
Filing amended returns to the Feds, Michigan, and North Carolina.
See various complications a-c with a heavy focus on c.
Doing the taxes the first fucking time was not fun.
Doing it all over again... is cause for some serious payback.
People!
Not only did I file our goddamn taxes last week...
Including various assorted complications with ...
a) having partial year residencies in two different states
b) Mr F having his own freelance business
and
c) Mr F being the one of the most disorganized, forgetful, fiscally irresponsible humans on the face of the Earth
I, also, got the pleasure of redoing all of them TODAY.
Filing amended returns to the Feds, Michigan, and North Carolina.
See various complications a-c with a heavy focus on c.
Doing the taxes the first fucking time was not fun.
Doing it all over again... is cause for some serious payback.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Okay
I'm sick of feeling like shit about myself.
I'm hoping I finally mean that.
I feel like I do... but... the motivation to actually stick with something beyond a handful of days has been elusive up to this point.
It turns out having your kids with you 24 hours a day, makes it even harder to put your needs first.
I'd really like to replace the amount of time I feel shame about my lack of effort...
with... pride at actually making a fucking effort.
So I'm just going to say I'm now trying to get into a 12 week challenge with myself.
To actually do what I know I should do.
And stop making nutella paninis (damn you Mario Batali!).
I started today.
I think I have to stick under 1400 calories now that I'm a) not breastfeeding and b)comprised of much more fat than I used to be.
I'm also going to do my "I think I might be having a heart attack" Cathe Fredrick step aerobics DVD (for real peeps... it's insane) 5 times a week.
One down.
Stay tuned.
I think I mean it this time.
12 weeks... 15 pounds... back to my glory
I'm hoping I finally mean that.
I feel like I do... but... the motivation to actually stick with something beyond a handful of days has been elusive up to this point.
It turns out having your kids with you 24 hours a day, makes it even harder to put your needs first.
I'd really like to replace the amount of time I feel shame about my lack of effort...
with... pride at actually making a fucking effort.
So I'm just going to say I'm now trying to get into a 12 week challenge with myself.
To actually do what I know I should do.
And stop making nutella paninis (damn you Mario Batali!).
I started today.
I think I have to stick under 1400 calories now that I'm a) not breastfeeding and b)comprised of much more fat than I used to be.
I'm also going to do my "I think I might be having a heart attack" Cathe Fredrick step aerobics DVD (for real peeps... it's insane) 5 times a week.
One down.
Stay tuned.
I think I mean it this time.
12 weeks... 15 pounds... back to my glory
Monday, March 28, 2011
More Homeschooling Insights
"MOM! I need a permanent marker and your calendar! I have to cross out August and write "I HATE YOU, ROME!" Kid yells emphatically from the other room.
"I hate him for making Cleopatra kill herself!" Kid explains.
The kids also have our famous pink pony piled high with bean bags to represent Hannibal's war elephants crossing the Alps.
Then I remembered we had Gladiator and I was able to cue up a scene of the gladiator fight with Tigers (Don't worry! We stopped it before there was bloodshed!), so that she could get a better idea of what the gladiator fights were like.
She wasn't as impressed as she had been about the Assyrians fighting lions for sport... using humans to form the ring (okay they had shields... but still... crazy).
We're up to 14 AD.
"I hate him for making Cleopatra kill herself!" Kid explains.
The kids also have our famous pink pony piled high with bean bags to represent Hannibal's war elephants crossing the Alps.
Then I remembered we had Gladiator and I was able to cue up a scene of the gladiator fight with Tigers (Don't worry! We stopped it before there was bloodshed!), so that she could get a better idea of what the gladiator fights were like.
She wasn't as impressed as she had been about the Assyrians fighting lions for sport... using humans to form the ring (okay they had shields... but still... crazy).
We're up to 14 AD.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Proof
I am so excited... I can hardly contain myself!
I'm also so proud of Kid I am kind of crying.
So this is a good thing to read if you are contemplating homeschooling. (or if you're a skeptic)
Especially, if you are contemplating it because your child isn't "doing well" in a school setting.
Okay... I can't even take the time to write this out... you'll have to watch this: (It's straight up amazing!)
(I don't know why it is out of focus!...)
Synopsis:
Public school had her in remedial reading. Although she demonstrated reading comprehension above her grade level (3rd grade)... because she missed a 1st grade word during testing she was put into the lowest level she had completed successfully (Kindergarten).
Public school also had her placed in remedial math. Not because she had ever done ONE SINGLE math problem incorrectly... no... because she didn't take her timed math test quickly enough. A kid who up until that point has never taken a test, let alone a timed test, information they had been made well aware of.
So how is a kid placed in kindergarten level math and reading ever able to demonstrate their true abilities when they are only ever given remedial work to do?
Why would it be surprising that this same child sat at her desk bored and distracted by classmates rather than doing her work... which was... not challenging and therefore NOT engaging?
By the time we were made privy of the full extent of her learning deficits it was 3 months into the school year (which highlights another problem... doesn't it?).
This teacher flat out didn't believe Kid was capable of being in a higher level of academics and implied she was... well... not mentally capable of performing on par with her peers.
OKAY.
I'm not going to lie... that shook us up quite a bit.
Maybe she is behind? Maybe she has some kind of learning disability?
I was worried. Really.
When I took her out to homeschool I didn't even know where to start.
I put her in 1st grade math. And in 14 weeks she has finished over 144 lessons. She's finished all of the 1st grade books in a little over 3 months.
I was proud of that... and happy that we'll be starting with 2nd grade now and maybe... maybe... we'll catch up to grade level!
Then I got next year's curriculum in the mail and saw the AWESOME 3rd grade math program. I actually stayed up late one night doing the sample assignments. I was disappointed that Kid is behind in math and when we start 3rd grade we'd have to use something else until she caught up. I was really upset because I knew this computer game style of learning would really engage her. I wanted her to see it, to see if I was right about her liking it, and to give her something to work towards.
And PEOPLE she completed Lesson 51 (so a good 3 months into 3rd grade curriculum) with no problem. And loved it. And begged me to order it right away.
But she had never had any 2nd grade level math instruction. I was worried it might be a fluke and there might be more challenging topics that would frustrate her. But she loved it so much, so we took the placement test just to see. She slammed it.
I was so beaten down that even though we plowed through with the 1st grade math, I never sat down to think... hmm... maybe we're plowing through because it's too easy.
So this girl, who had been placed in remedial math in 2nd grade, after 14 weeks at home... and NO 2nd grade math instruction... is more than capable of doing 3rd grade math. Never had seen fractions or multiplication... and was able to do it on the spot. What?!!!
Oh, but that is not all.
When we started this curriculum we did a reading placement test. I was worried because she had been a delayed reader and because her teacher had her at a competent Kindergarten level reader. We took the placement test and it gave us Level 2 intermediate. I was thrilled! She wasn't delayed she was a competent 2nd grade reader.
I don't know why I never thought anything of the fact that in 14 weeks of doing our homeschool curriculum she has done the entire years worth of reading.
My one complaint about our curriculum is that they didn't give us enough reading.
I'm sure you're catching on to where this is going.
But I had had it beaten into me that she was DELAYED.
Then the new catalogue came out and they have re-labeled everything, because they found parents confused and assuming level 2 = 2nd grade. It doesn't. She had been reading 3rd grade intermediate readers this whole time! And flying through them.
So, with the math success under our belt, I thought... hmm... maybe she's flying through the readers because they aren't challenging?
We took the reading placement again this morning.
Care to guess what grade reading level she is at now, after 14 weeks of homeschooling?
SEVENTH FUCKING GRADE.
SEVENTH GRADE!
So, there you have it.
If children aren't given the opportunity to demonstrate their academic abilities... how can they?
And also... speed... is NOT the sole judge of mastery.
If it were...
Mr F...
would be living on the streets.
And, so, I think it is important for people to know this.
That some kids (smart kids, even) are getting left behind in the mainstream school system.
I'm also so proud of Kid I am kind of crying.
So this is a good thing to read if you are contemplating homeschooling. (or if you're a skeptic)
Especially, if you are contemplating it because your child isn't "doing well" in a school setting.
Okay... I can't even take the time to write this out... you'll have to watch this: (It's straight up amazing!)
(I don't know why it is out of focus!...)
Synopsis:
Public school had her in remedial reading. Although she demonstrated reading comprehension above her grade level (3rd grade)... because she missed a 1st grade word during testing she was put into the lowest level she had completed successfully (Kindergarten).
Public school also had her placed in remedial math. Not because she had ever done ONE SINGLE math problem incorrectly... no... because she didn't take her timed math test quickly enough. A kid who up until that point has never taken a test, let alone a timed test, information they had been made well aware of.
So how is a kid placed in kindergarten level math and reading ever able to demonstrate their true abilities when they are only ever given remedial work to do?
Why would it be surprising that this same child sat at her desk bored and distracted by classmates rather than doing her work... which was... not challenging and therefore NOT engaging?
By the time we were made privy of the full extent of her learning deficits it was 3 months into the school year (which highlights another problem... doesn't it?).
This teacher flat out didn't believe Kid was capable of being in a higher level of academics and implied she was... well... not mentally capable of performing on par with her peers.
OKAY.
I'm not going to lie... that shook us up quite a bit.
Maybe she is behind? Maybe she has some kind of learning disability?
I was worried. Really.
When I took her out to homeschool I didn't even know where to start.
I put her in 1st grade math. And in 14 weeks she has finished over 144 lessons. She's finished all of the 1st grade books in a little over 3 months.
I was proud of that... and happy that we'll be starting with 2nd grade now and maybe... maybe... we'll catch up to grade level!
Then I got next year's curriculum in the mail and saw the AWESOME 3rd grade math program. I actually stayed up late one night doing the sample assignments. I was disappointed that Kid is behind in math and when we start 3rd grade we'd have to use something else until she caught up. I was really upset because I knew this computer game style of learning would really engage her. I wanted her to see it, to see if I was right about her liking it, and to give her something to work towards.
And PEOPLE she completed Lesson 51 (so a good 3 months into 3rd grade curriculum) with no problem. And loved it. And begged me to order it right away.
But she had never had any 2nd grade level math instruction. I was worried it might be a fluke and there might be more challenging topics that would frustrate her. But she loved it so much, so we took the placement test just to see. She slammed it.
I was so beaten down that even though we plowed through with the 1st grade math, I never sat down to think... hmm... maybe we're plowing through because it's too easy.
So this girl, who had been placed in remedial math in 2nd grade, after 14 weeks at home... and NO 2nd grade math instruction... is more than capable of doing 3rd grade math. Never had seen fractions or multiplication... and was able to do it on the spot. What?!!!
Oh, but that is not all.
When we started this curriculum we did a reading placement test. I was worried because she had been a delayed reader and because her teacher had her at a competent Kindergarten level reader. We took the placement test and it gave us Level 2 intermediate. I was thrilled! She wasn't delayed she was a competent 2nd grade reader.
I don't know why I never thought anything of the fact that in 14 weeks of doing our homeschool curriculum she has done the entire years worth of reading.
My one complaint about our curriculum is that they didn't give us enough reading.
I'm sure you're catching on to where this is going.
But I had had it beaten into me that she was DELAYED.
Then the new catalogue came out and they have re-labeled everything, because they found parents confused and assuming level 2 = 2nd grade. It doesn't. She had been reading 3rd grade intermediate readers this whole time! And flying through them.
So, with the math success under our belt, I thought... hmm... maybe she's flying through the readers because they aren't challenging?
We took the reading placement again this morning.
Care to guess what grade reading level she is at now, after 14 weeks of homeschooling?
SEVENTH FUCKING GRADE.
SEVENTH GRADE!
So, there you have it.
If children aren't given the opportunity to demonstrate their academic abilities... how can they?
And also... speed... is NOT the sole judge of mastery.
If it were...
Mr F...
would be living on the streets.
And, so, I think it is important for people to know this.
That some kids (smart kids, even) are getting left behind in the mainstream school system.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Done Deed
I don't know how all of this has come across... but I want to be clear that this has been a HEARTBREAKING decision for us (for me in particular).
After last night's incident we felt we needed to proceed with haste.
The Humane Society had space and Mr F called to tell me that we needed to rush her over there before they closed.
Kid and I sobbed the entire way there.
And all through the intake process.
Then we went to see the cats.
Kid stopped crying.
I looked like I had just buried one of my children.
Or like I had the most raging case of double conjunctivitis ever seen in a human.
Then I proceeded to sob the entire way home.
And then some more when I came in to all of her things strewn about where she left them.
I feel compelled to go there every day and walk her... but I don't know if that's actually good for her... or me.
Plus, we'd probably come home with a cat a day.
I'm really hoping she gets a good loving home this weekend.
After last night's incident we felt we needed to proceed with haste.
The Humane Society had space and Mr F called to tell me that we needed to rush her over there before they closed.
Kid and I sobbed the entire way there.
And all through the intake process.
Then we went to see the cats.
Kid stopped crying.
I looked like I had just buried one of my children.
Or like I had the most raging case of double conjunctivitis ever seen in a human.
Then I proceeded to sob the entire way home.
And then some more when I came in to all of her things strewn about where she left them.
I feel compelled to go there every day and walk her... but I don't know if that's actually good for her... or me.
Plus, we'd probably come home with a cat a day.
I'm really hoping she gets a good loving home this weekend.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
That's It
The damn cat just opened the door to the living room (dog's domain). The door has a wonky latch and it must not have been pulled tightly. I came in to find the cat pinned to the ground with the dog biting his neck.
I'm shaking with adrenaline.
And I'm over it.
No question the cat is in danger.
Maybe this is the sign I needed.
They better have an opening tomorrow!
I'm shaking with adrenaline.
And I'm over it.
No question the cat is in danger.
Maybe this is the sign I needed.
They better have an opening tomorrow!
Monday, March 21, 2011
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