Daily Doings

Yesterday it was foggy, which always makes me think about how we live on a PLANET... I've been known to ponder that from time to time.  You know, gravity, gases, the whole nine yards. It's a lot to wrap your mind around.  Or sometimes when I'm driving down the road I'll see a tree and realize... dude, that is just a BIG plant... you know?  I mean, yes, obviously, but sometimes I'll see a leafless oak and just be struck at how similar it is to say a dead woody mum. Like a gigantic dead mum.  And it is kind of amazing.  I think a lot about the whole living on a planet thing.  Do you think about that?  It is full on CRAZY.

This week is overwhelming.  Baby turns six tomorrow! (shh... she doesn't like to talk about it... although yesterday she said maybe this year she wouldn't cry on her birthday eve but she is still sad about growing up.... which is a significant improvement over the last two years where she cried herself to sleep.)  To cheer herself she has designed her birthday cake.  Three tiers, orange, with rainbows, unicorns and blue cats... that shouldn't be too hard to pull off on a school night!

Fear not, she's thought of that and has given me detailed decorating instructions.  Check out all those piping bags of different icing colors! I only have to mix 8 custom colors! (at least she knows what she is doing)  I hope she isn't disappointed when her cake is 2 tiers with blue and white icing.  I will make an m&m rainbow but the 3 D cats and large unicorn.... not so sure.

Also, Kid's friend's last day of school is tomorrow.  So that should be awesome.  They have been skyping all the time, which has been great... but unfortunately once she goes back to Korea the time change is about as bad as it can be (14 hours) and that will be very hard for them to keep up with school and bedtimes.  We are going to try on weekend nights to Skype at 8-9 which will be 10-11 in the morning for her friend.  We'll try!! Of course, we can only control half of the equation.  I made a picture frame and printed a picture for her friend to take home.  They also got their Best Friends necklaces yesterday and her friend gave her a barrette her mother gave her before she passed away.  She has a matching one.  (truthfully that was hard!)  She hadn't told Kid that her mother was dead (their teacher told me 2 weeks ago) and she finally emailed Kid and told her about it and said she is always afraid to say it, and she was sorry she hadn't ever told her.  Kid and I cried ALL NIGHT.  That was a very hard email to receive and respond to as a 10 year old.  I know tonight and tomorrow night are going to be VERY hard for Kid and I really wish someone so sweet and kind didn't have to suffer through another hardship.  She is truly such a wonderful person.  So sweet and thoughtful and generous.  Her friend wrote her a letter thanking her for her kindness and telling her she was the nicest friend she'd ever had and her friends in Korea are mean (also made Kid & I cry all night).  I just want to help her with this transition and do everything I can to honor this friendship and keep it going.

(P.S. look at how old Kid looks now!)

Of course, we have to deal with this on Baby's birthday and birthday eve (with elaborate cake decorating!, class cupcake making, etc) and a huge Science test, memory test, & spelling.  Kid's stomach has been hurting so much it is hard for her to do anything when she gets home from school.  I told Kid... fuck it.... I don't even care about her grades this week... just try and enjoy being with her friend and let it go.  It doesn't matter.  We are also letting her Skype all evening and past bedtime while she can.

(Skyping while doing homework together!  Her friend plans to attend Oxford... so... she's a pretty good homework influence!)

The Order Of The Day

This morning I packed up my first attempt at a bento style lunch:

Not featured is the cute bear shaped hard boiled egg that I forgot about and had to put in a separate container.  I'm not going to lie... yesterday evening as I mixed up the sushi rice I said to the girls "I can't make fancy lunches and dinner" then I called Mr F and told him to bring home pizza.  It took SEVERAL hours to do this and I know it doesn't look like all that much... but... it is.  Just trust.  I'm experimenting to see how long I can keep the rice shapes in the fridge and have them still be edible.  If they can stay for a day or two then this whole thing is a lot more doable.  Of course the point was to entice Baby to eat more... and... she doesn't like sushi rice (she's nuts).  

(Baby with snowman outside of Tsai Grocery)

FYI, for any local person who is interested in going crazy and spending all night hand crafting their children's lunches, Tsai Grocery has a random and ever changing selection of bento things.  I got my hardboiled egg molds there last year (not there now), the rice molds and little picks I got yesterday.   Their prices are pretty comparable to what you'll find online, and of course you won't have to pay shipping.  They also have bento boxes, but since this is an experiment, I didn't get any of those yet. It is also a good place to pick up sushi rice, nori, sushi seasoning, and cute little panda cookies ;)  

In other news, I put together a pretty nice goodbye card for the Koreans.  I'm hoping and praying I get it delivered before their last day!  (It is going to be CLOSE)  Mr. F had spend every morning at school trying to take a good class photo but there was always someone sick.  Finally, I just took a couple with my phone with what we had.  Thank God, because I had no idea how long shipping and processing was going to take.  I got one of them smiling-ish (see last post) for the cover, one of them waving on the inside with a goodbye message and all of their names, and then a goofy shot for the back of the card with their school, class, and year on it.  I ordered enough to give the kids that are leaving next week, and have the others waiting for when the other two kids go back later in the year.  I think it will be a great momento for the kids to take home with them.  I also ordered little South Korean and US toothpick flags (from toothpickflag.com) and I got those in a couple of days... no expedited shipping... fyi, in case you ever need little flags!  I'm going to bring in rice krispie treats with the flags stuck in them on their last day (or cupcakes.... but the icing will ruin the flags).  I also ordered best friend necklaces for Ruby to give her Korean friends, and hopefully Mr F is taking a picture of her little friend group which we will frame and give them to take home as well.  And, YAY!, we did figure out email and skype with her friend that is leaving next week... and we have a couple of months to figure it out with her other friend.  So that is a load off.  I feel pretty good about it all.  I think we've done everything we can to make this a meaningful goodbye for the Koreans and for Kid.  

 (Kid wearing her rearview spy glasses.... 

proof that sometimes our life isn't overwhelming stress and sadness)

It's hard to tell in this picture (because capturing actual snow fall is not easy) but the snow is really coming down this morning...

(Looks like my snow tires will finally get put to the test!)

Goodbye Card

Picture In Landscape 5x7 folded card

Turn family photos into photo Christmas cards.

View the entire collection of cards.

Baby, It's Cold Outside

It's freezing this morning.  In fact it is a good 35 degrees BELOW freezing.  This is the first time I've had to have the girls wear their full on snow pants for driving to school IN THE CAR:

(she's always zesty)

It is so cold out that the snow was squeaky, if you know what I mean.  I'm contemplating shoveling, since it is pure powder and the easiest possible shoveling conditions... but... I'm afraid my heart might stop beating.  The girls sat around the table moaning about how cold they were at breakfast; I had to keep reminding them that it was FACTUALLY the same temperature inside as it always is.  ;)  

This weekend we drove back out to Philly to visit with my Nana.  She turned 100 on January, 9th. 

She is doing extremely well.  She is handling the death of my grandfather in a zen like manner.  She is not in denial, nor is she in mourning.  She is moving forward, quick to share a remembrance, often acknowledging his absence, but not in a sad or depressed way.  Maybe you need to be 100 in order to put everything in perspective so well, to really except the cycle of life.  She is very much determined to keep on living.  And is quite disgruntled that she can no longer dine with their male friends because it would seem improper.  I told her I thought 100 was beyond reproach... but she assured me that under the watchful eye of the retirement village gossip and politics no one was beyond reproach.

My grandmother received these kitchen shears as a wedding gift from her mother.  She has had them for 72 years and they've never been sharpened!  I figured there was no better endorsement than that!

They are Wiss brand 1KS kitchen shears.  They still make them!  They are about $25 now, and clearly worth the money.  They are still made from the finest quality cutlery steel and made in the USA.  

 We stopped in here again (twice).  Check it out next time you are rolling through Clearfield, PA!

 This will be more meaningful to our FB friends... but... suffice it to say this place has proven to be the most quotable travel center in the Universe. And while the bathrooms are very clean, the other occupants... well, they are prone to shout out loud, bizarre, disconcerting statements.  You kind of want to go there just to hear what is going to be said... and.... then again, you kind of don't.  It's exciting!

We got our new fridge right (and I mean minutes) before we left for our trip on Friday.  There were only 3 different models (seriously) that we could chose from that would fit in our built in cabinets.  It was a nightmare and our fridge is even smaller than our old one (!).  I can't wait to start having to wipe off fingerprints again...

How long do you think our old fridge will stay in the middle of the room?  Keep in mind it has all of our food still in it, and is still plugged in? (I'm thinking in terms of weeks).

On the upside, look at how efficient my work triangle is!  

As soon as we got home, guess who's tummy started hurting again?  She was fine the entire time we were away.  It is really sad and disconcerting, she is in tremendous pain and can't eat she feels so sick.

I'm trying to figure out if this is because of school work stress, or her friend leaving.  Her friend has her last day of school next Thursday.  (I've done everything I can think of on that front... we've got her email and mailing addresses, we ordered best friend necklaces, Mr F is going in to school to shoot a class photo we can give her friend to take home, we are bringing in cupcakes with little US and S.Korean flags on them on her last day, etc.)  I just don't think we can live through this level of upset very much longer, to be honest.  She has so much work to do, and she can't do it when she is this sick.  If she isn't better this afternoon, I'm going to take her to her pediatrician just to rule out a physical cause we might be overlooking (doubt it).  If there is no physical cause we are going to try and make it through next Thursday, then see if it gets better after her friend goes back to Korea.  If it doesn't, then we are going to take her out of school for a week and do her assignments from home, and see if that makes it better.  Then we'll know if it is something at school that is stressing her out, or the work itself.  I'd take her out now, but she doesn't want to miss her friend's last few days at school.  I don't know, people, it's hard to verbalize how badly she is doing all of a sudden.  She has had issues before (obviously) but they haven't manifested themselves in such a debilitating physical sickness before.  She really wants to stay in school (not just now but always... and she will cry when she feels like she can't handle it, for whatever reason because all she wants to is to just go to school like a *normal* kid)  So, we need to figure out how to make that doable, if we can.  If we can't figure out what is at the root of this (I really suspect it is the friend, and am hopeful she'll feel better once her friend has moved) we'll have to think about homeschooling again, and maybe trying school again in the Fall.  Maybe this school is just too much pressure.  Although we have gone through this more or less at every school and we have tried every type of school out there!  It is a complicated decision.  She will tell you that she knows she felt better homeschooling, but that she does like school and being at school and being around all the kids.  We have to figure out how we can manage it, and ultimately what is a healthy choice.  I know most people cannot wrap their minds around school being a toxic choice for their child... and most people are very uncomfortable with homeschooling... but if your kid was allergic to peanuts you wouldn't enroll them in a school that had no peanut allergy protocol.  If your child hated carseats... you'd still make them ride in one... because it is dangerous not to.  I live in a weird vortex, where the thing my child wants and likes is a normal part of life but it makes her sick and it is hard to say "You can't go to school because it is not healthy for you."and get anyone to understand.  It's hard. And I don't know what to do.  No ten year old should suffer this much, just to get through the day.  (Yes, we are open to medication... but, you all know, that is a bit of nerve-wrenching decision making process and she is going through puberty and it makes it harder to get doses right and makes me more concerned... plus eliminating the stressor by homeschooling also eliminated the need to medicate her (which kind of seems important to keep in mind)  we will be trying to find a new in-network psychiatrist, since we switched healthcare companies, to work with us, now.)  There is more to it, obviously, then I can get into.  She has self soothing compulsions she will develop and some of them are harmful to her body (picking skin off her finger, etc.)... nothing crazy right now but it does concern me and I don't want it to be something that escalates... AND she didn't do any of them when she homeschooled... but... she has always had some kind of physical soothing compulsion (I'll call it a tick) when she is in school.  Always.  I just think it is too much stress for her.  It's confounding because she does so well academically.

How is that for an uplifting last thought?!  Enjoy!  

Things That Have Conspired Against Me

(I am trying to type this up on my iPad... Whoa annoying... fortunately I have a good two hours to kill at the damn auto glass repair shop)

#1 Unbelievably (or believably) Kid came home from school on Friday with a sprained ankle! Gah!! She is obviously trying to bankrupt us. At least she didn't break it, like she did last year... Or like her arm 3 freaking months ago! I never would have guessed that Kid would be our injury kid... Hopefully this is just per-adolescent clumsy & not lifetime clumsy. Or weird brittle bone disease or something.


#2 I noticed what I really hoped was a bug on my windshield on Friday (yes, I realize that would have been unlikely in winter in Michigan... I was feeling optimistic). Well the cold snap this weekend cracked it all to hell and now I get to spend the next two hours here with you.


#3 Kid had her play date with her Korean friend this weekend. It went well but also made her friend's eminent return to South Korea very real & very sad. Oh man, this is not what we had in mind when decided to send Kid to this school... The point was to be able to foster ongoing friendships not set her up for more loss and grief. The fact that we just discovered her friend's mother had passed away last year, which prompted her coming to the US for school, makes it so much harder. We can no longer believe that she is going back to her family and while it is sad for Kid it is better for her friend. Now there is another much more complicated and devastating reason for her time here and it is overwhelming for Kid. Yes, we will do Skype and email, but the real sorrow is coming more from an overwhelming empathy for her friend's loss. Kid is very depressed and is having a hard time this week. At the playdate her friend told her it was the best day of her life... And Kid is taking that as her truth and it has thrown her off the deep end of despair feeling some responsibility or longing to be able to make this girl's life happier. God, it could make me cry (it does!).

It told her how proud I was of her for befriending the Korean girls and making them a part of her group. She is the first (& only) to do that, and she has made their time here so much better than it would have been. She has given them real friendship & fun in a time that can be very lonely and challenging.


#4 I woke up Saturday with one of the worst sore throats I've ever had. I was choking it was so swollen. Poor little Baby had had it earlier but, since she didn't have a fever and it wasn't strep I did not really take it all that seriously. I apologized profusely. She said "I just tried not to swallow." So, anyway, my workouts have been derailed since then. I'll get back on it tomorrow... Finally feeling better.


#5. Mr. F got stuck in an obsessive cycle about our new appliances and ended up cancelling our dishwasher. Unfortunately that effectively cancelled our installation appointment... For our fridge as well. Unbeknownst to us. So Saturday came and no freaking fridge. Now we have already disconnected our ice maker and pulled our fridge into the middle of the room... Where it has to stay for the time being. We then spent the entire weekend figuring out the mess and ultimately returning and repurchasing our fridge at another Best Buy so we could get a new delivery date. I'm over Best Buy... This whole thing has been a major 3 week debacle... If I'm forking over this kind of money I want real appliance specialists!


#6. Kid's teacher decided to do another one of her schedule every conceivable test in one week ordeals. That is (as always) on top of any regular homework. Weeks like this are on the verge of undoable. And torture. She has a history test on the War of 1812 which includes having to write (on the spot with no reference material) a 5 paragraph essay covering the who, what, where, when, and why of the conflict. I'm sorry... I thought they were in 4th grade.... What kind of alternate universe did we stumble into?!

Ok, car is fixed. I've got to run.

So Much For Last Week!

Today sucked.

This Week... The Update

So, I've made it through a full school week and my new workout plan is actually working time wise.  Even on my busy multi-appointment mornings I'm able to squeeze it in.  FYI I'm stepping (believe it) while watching West Wing episodes (I never watched it the first time around) on Netflix.  I'm digging it.

I looked for my scale but I think it is too far into the mouse zone (basement) so I had to bail out on the mission.  I've been doing this for 9 days and I had started to wonder if maybe I should weigh myself so I can monitor my progress.  But maybe it is for the best.  Maybe I'll be in a healthier mental place and less likely to end up sabotaging myself if I really don't know how successful I am/or am not.  You know?  So far, I'm pretty successful and it really hasn't become a stress or an issue and maybe it is best to stick with what is working.  Maybe weighing myself gets my extremist juices flowing which also gets my inner saboteur going.  Okay, I've just said the same thing 7 times.  We all get it.  I'm going to not weigh in.  Wouldn't it be awesome if I never did & when I go for my physical in the summer it's a big reveal?  Yes.  That sounds good.

This week I also stepped up lots of the good stuff:  I made homemade chocolate chip cookies, brownies, and cloverleaf rolls.  I'm calorie counting everyday and emailing it out for accountability.  I threw Baby a fairly elaborate tea party on the spot when she asked for it (without putting it off, or saying I was too busy)...

 

I changed out all the bed linens (I hate doing this!).  I've been doing a pretty excellent job of adding in small cleaning tasks every weekday (laundry room baseboards, wiping down the handprints & paw prints on the walls, dusting the dining room ceiling... thanks to the fly lady cozi app).  I went to the used clothing store and snagged a couple pairs of snowpants, snow gloves, & boots for the Korean students that don't have any.  I even scheduled a weekend play date with one of Kid's favorite Korean friends... which I had been putting off since the logistics were complicated (and I have social anxiety... what can I say?!).  I also asked the other mom at Baby's dance if they'd like to have play dates (another big social anxiety breakthrough!).  On top of the usual... breakfast, lunch & dinner prep x 7, dance, gymnastics, homework, library, appointments, cleaning, shopping, bill paying, driving 90 miles a day, etc, of my daily grind.  AND I'm super close to organizing my craft closet and clearing off my bedroom chair... so close... really.

So all in all I'm telling you I'm getting my groove back and am feeling much more in control of my life and not just treading water.  Woah... 2012 was a tough year and it was really wearing me down and dragging down my quality of life.


Dinners:
Sunday: Pan seared Chicken breasts (used this same seasoning... so good), rice pilaf, peas

Monday: Tomato & Meatball Soup (oh yeah, we still have this all the time)

Tuesday: Weird impulse buy: Whole Foods frozen take out style Chinese
(cheaper & healthier than take out... way too much trouble heating up so many things... it took forever)

Wednesday: Tortellini bake (we have this once a week, Mr F says "Oh I love this dinner!" every single time like it's the first time he's ever had it... maybe if I get really organized I'll post the recipe), broccoli

Thursday: Chicken noodle soup, cloverleaf rolls, salad

Friday: Lentil soup, pita, salad

Saturday: Pizza

You Know What Time It Is

That's right, time for a list of our random (boring or not, you decide... probably boring) daily doings!

#1 Today is my grandmother's 100th birthday.  Happy Birthday, Nana!  You mean the world to me, and I am SO happy that you are in my life. Your constant love and support has been a blessing to me.  (I wish I could know all your life secrets.  How do you maintain so many friendships?  When did you have your first Pepperidge Farm cookie?)


#2  Kid had me laughing so hard last night, when I was showering her.  I had a good couple of minutes of hunched over silent hysterical laughter.  That is one step before EXTREME laughter which passes by silent mode and enters into crying and making a weird Roger Rabbit throat closing up squeal sound (I get it from my mother) and falling to the ground.  Does anyone else just go limp and fall when they laugh?  It is so fun... try it.  Anyway, Kid is hilarious... really.... I don't have the time to document it enough.  But her humor is so sophisticated and she is so quick witted that she often surprises me with it.  God, it is such a gift to be that unassumingly funny.  She is going to be a very popular adult.  (If she isn't living on her secret location historically accurate pioneer farm, as she plans)

#3  I am taking better care of myself.  I am back to food journaling and calorie counting (around 1300 calories), and so far so good. I had really eaten all the cookies, etc., I could ever need and so it doesn't even feel horribly restrictive either.  I am also trying to workout while I watch something on Netflix every school morning for 30 minutes.  So far so good on that front as well.  All in all, this is a sane and much less extreme approach than I usually take... and that is probably a good thing.  I didn't even weigh myself before I started.  I don't even care anymore.... I just would like to not hate myself so much for letting myself go... and I'd like to feel better physically and mentally and sabotaging myself does not accomplish that.  The realities of my current life and schedule are that I can do this and I need to start where I am at and not set myself up for an ultimate perfect program I cannot maintain now.  Hopefully, soon, strangers will stop asking me if I am pregnant (Yes, that happened!).

#4  We de-Christmased on Sunday.  It felt so good.  I did an especially anal repacking and labeling of bins... so they are all ready to go next year... and, damn, that was satisfying.

(I re-did our piano *mantle* with some things I say can go all the way until March... so it wasn't so stark up.  Mr F cried out "ooh!" when he saw it.  He'll be happy I let you all know that.)

#5  School started.  It has been ROUGH.  I truthfully hate almost everything about the whole getting them up and to school, the commuting (really hate that) and the homework.  It is just so exhausting and time consuming and I feel like our whole lives are spent just hurrying from one thing to the next in a manic state because THERE IS NO TIME.  It kind of sucks.

(Kid was Baby's Kindergarten class' Library Mystery Reader this week.  She was the first sibling to do it and we had to get special permission.  She knocked it out of the park.  I was so proud of her!  She was having a lot of anxiety about it but she worked through it and did an amazing job.)

#6  I signed up for a FlyLady Cozi calendar app on my phone/iPad/computer.  It is awesome.  I'm into it.  I love/hate FlyLady and definitely hate/hate all the emails and this allows me to get the cleaning missions on my daily calendar without the junk mail pile up... so far it's been good.  Plus I really enjoy using this calendar.  I've got a lot of things to schedule and I like that all my peeps can be color coded and I can tell at a glance who's got what... which is a step up from the iCal.  It is free for what it is worth.

#7  I've got a ton of big organizing projects I'd like to hit.  That is some of the other stuff I have let pile up (literally) and bring me down this past year.  It is so hard to find the time, and our evenings are just off the table as an option with homework management, dinner, showers, bedtime.  But, I'm feeling more hopeful that I can find a way to get them taken care of and stop using not taking care of it as a way to punish myself.  You know what I'm saying.  This has been a bad year.  The commute is taking up every spare moment I might use for stuff like that... I need to figure this out, though.  I'm ready to feel more in control of my life again.

#8  We ordered a new fridge.  This is big time.  We have a 20 year old fridge that makes poisonous ice (for real... the ice maker coating chips into it) and we've been picking out the *good* ice (we hope) for 2.5 years.  The gig is up.

#9  You can thank me for the sudden winter warm up, around here. We just spent roughly 1K on new snow tires and wheels for my 10.5 year old smelly mini-van because of our fears that we'd all die on our winter highway commute.  The weather instantly turned practically balmy.  Awesome.  I guess it was worth it.

#10  White vinegar as your rinse agent in your dishwasher... holy crap... it's a miracle.  For the love of God... use it.


I think that's it.

P.S. I don't think this shot shows it clearly enough... but Baby's backside (which is well endowed... as in she has to wear 2 sizes bigger in underwear than in her clothes... for real) looks like she has butt cheek implants when she wears her new gymnastics leotard!  I love it :)

It Happened

My grandfather, Grandad, passed away this evening.  It was so peaceful that my uncle, who had been sitting with him, did not even know he had passed on.  I'm grateful for that.

(This was just taken on Saturday.  I wish I could find a better picture of him as I remember him... this is not how he looked before his health started failing. )

My grandmother called me and said "We have to be philosophical about it... We had 72 years together and what is better than that?"  She's trying to stay upbeat, but I worry about her once the shock wears off.

There isn't going to be a funeral, there will be a memorial later in the year... I am both sad that there won't be that family gathering time we had for my grandmother here last month, and relieved since I am pretty much emotionally spent.

My grandmother and grandfather will be buried together, their ashes mixed, after she passes away.

That is just about the sweetest thing I have ever heard.  I love that they are doing that.

Still it's been a rough month; losing two of my grandparents just 26 days apart.

Compounding the grief.

Oh, sad.  And I worry tremendously for my grandmother (whose 100th birthday is in 6 days!).

For What It Is Worth

I did a pretty terrible job on Christmas gifts for Mr F this year.  My one success was the new Of Monsters And Men cd My Head Is An Animal.  We listened to this about 100 times on our trip to PA.  It never gets old.  And SERIOUSLY every track is fantastic.  This is one of those albums where the radio single is the weakest link.  We are ALL pretty much listening to it 24/7... I don't think that has happened since The White Stripes Get Behind Me Satan.  


Track 1 - Dirty Paws - Mr F's & Kid's favorite

Track 5 - From Finner - My favorite

All Tracks - Baby's favorite (she won't admit it but it is clearly Track 4 - Slow & Steady)

Adventures (both happy & sad)

Things I've failed to mention...

On the day of my maternal grandmother's funeral I found out my paternal grandfather was starting hospice.

This was also the day of the Newtown shooting and it was a very overwhelmingly sad day with too much death... past, present, and future.

This Christmas has been the most depressed we have experienced yet (and hopefully forever more).

2 days after Christmas we loaded up to make the drive out to Philly and see my grandfather one last time.


He is 97 and has had a full and interesting life with my grandmother by his side for the past 72 years.

His death is, of course, not unexpected but coming on the heals of my maternal grandmother's swift decline I found my visit painfully sad and reminiscent of her last few weeks.  His decline in the past few months has greatly altered him and it is just a sad thing to see.  He is staying in the nursing care part of their retirement village and the strain of his separation from my Nana is hard on them both.

My paternal grandmother (Nana) is turning 100 in one week!  Remember back when we lived in Asheville and we thought she wasn't going to make it?  Well, we were all wrong!!  She is a wonder physically and mentally.  A real celebrity in the retirement village, let me tell you!

(She'd like you to know she does not like the way her stomach looks in this picture.  Nana, I hear you, that's why I'm not in it!)

She still lives on her own (drives in her retirement village... only right turns... she swears!) and walks unassisted.  She dropped the little paper flag out of a Hershey's Kiss while we were there and bent down (at the waist!) and picked it up off the floor.  She gets up and in and out of the car on her own and insists she must if she is going to be able to keep getting up.  And, people, she sews my girls dresses (with french seams!) every year.  She also sends them mail every week.

She is the most dear person to me.  She took special care of me when I was growing up and a lot of my parenting has been greatly influenced by her.

Also my hoarding.

She is amazing.  She graduated high school at 16 and college 3 years later.  She wanted to be a lawyer, but her father didn't think there would be much point.  She is still miffed at this, seeing as he had his own law firm.  She ended up teaching high school English and attending graduate school for English... she didn't finish... she left when she found out her fiance had married another girl!

I guess that worked out in the end, for the rest of us ;)

I'm very worried about how she'll fair after my grandfather passes and worry that, like many couples, she might follow.

I wish I lived closer... I'd visit everyday.

Thankfully, she still has her hearing and spunky spirit and I can have long phone conversations with her.  I'd be so devastated if I didn't have that.

Here I am saying goodbye.  We had just been regaled with a tale of a 7 week camping trip across the US that she took in 1961 with 3 kids (2 of them teenage girls, no less). Changing camp sites and driving every single day.  Sleeping in a tent with 3 kids every night?  I don't know if I could do it.  She doesn't know why she did... except my grandfather had plotted it all out and she just went with it.

As sad as this month has been, I am so thankful that I had two sets of loving, involved grandparents while I was growing up.  They were all such a blessing to me.

Some back in the day photos.  

The first is a picture I took of my grandparents 24 years ago while on a vacation to 

The Grand Hotel on Mackinaw Island.  

 This one is a picture from a LONG time ago with all of the family cousins.  

I'm the girl up front and center, of course ;)

Merry Christmas! Love, The Furious Family

This has been a CRAZY week for us trying to cram all of our holiday prep into such a short period of time!  

Let's start at the beginning:

Here are the Christmas goodie bags we put together for all of the girls' classmates... 

(a chocolate Santa, a pencil, a puzzle eraser, and a candy cane.)  

(I personally felt REALLY good about this!  I put together over 30 of these for about $16.)  

Not pictured: Personalized religious teacher's ornaments.  Thank you Bronner's for having an entire section of these!

Charley Bell putting together a pan of Rolo Turtles:

(Don't mind that foot!)

(Sadly, I didn't have time to make any of my traditional Christmas cookies this year.  

Trying not to beat myself up too much over that.)

Decorating our WAY too short tree:

(It looked much taller at the lot!) 

(Don't mind Kid's hair wrap + antlers... 

we had to try and squeeze this in on a school night after her shower.)

(We could only fit about1/2 our ornaments.... Oh well, clean up will be a breeze.)

Last minute attempt at a Christmas Card photo...

(Still haven't gotten around to that... maybe New Year's cards this year)

Santa lists:

 (Good luck trying to find a Chinese doll made of china 2 days before Christmas!)  

(Note to self:  next year demand they write to Santa sooner.)

(Turns out only having two things is harder...)

(thankfully Santa was a good guesser)

Christmas Eve eve I finally got the house cleaned up and fulfilled Baby's wish to string up Popcorn & Cranberry garland...

(I attempted this one year before kids when I still lived in NYC... 

and I remember that it was actually an EXTREMELY frustrating process.)

(P.S. I didn't have high hopes going into this one)

 (Turns out Kid LOVED it.)

(She made them for 2 straight days and proclaimed it her new personal Christmas tradition)

Failed attempt to show you that on Christmas Eve afternoon it started SNOWING!!!! ...

 (We were all so excited that we ended up with a White Christmas!)

The girls after the Children's service on Christmas Eve...

 (Baby was in a Mexican Dance celebrating Christmas traditions from around the world.)  

(She did great! So proud of her for her performance abilities.)

After the service we got to enjoy the luminaries lining every street in our little village... 

 (Such a beautiful tradition, made all the better with the addition of a snowy backdrop!)

Unfortunately all that snow made for a treacherous and long drive out for our Christmas eve dinner!  We finally made it home right before Santa hit our house...

(Phew!  That was a close one!  Got them in their beds at midnight.) 

(Kid was FREAKING OUT that he wouldn't come if they were still up.)

Turns out that tracker isn't totally accurate, by my clock Santa wasn't done at our house 

until 2:30 AM...

  (Santa may have been whimpering in my bed at 12:30 desperately wanting a nap 

while waiting for the kids to be sound asleep)

Proof that Santa was here...

(Apparently the reindeer don't like the carrot tops.)

Might have been the happiest Christmas Morning to date...

 (Possibly our last with 100% believing children and I am grateful for it!)

(Although I will be happy for the extra sleep non-believing children allow)

Adorable Nativity that Kid made me for Christmas...

Mr F modeling his men's nightgown...

(Believe it or not Mr F wore a nightshirt just like this when we were first dating.)

(Yep, I've never let him live that one down.)

(But look at his blurry face... he LOVES it.)  

(And now we have daily fodder for mocking him.  It's a Win-Win!)

Mr. F ended up giving me the best gift he's ever given me.  I actually cried.  After the year when he gave me a giant blue zip up fleece bag robe thing with foot holes (monogrammed, no less), I've REALLY lowered my expectations.  This year, seeing how hard it was for me to find something nice to wear to all of Baby's performances and Christmas parties (especially since I won't buy myself anything over $10... and I haven't worked out in 6 months so nothing fits) he gave me a black velvet dress, a sparkly cardigan, a dressy scarf, and an evening purse.... so that I'd always have something I could throw together. I was very surprised!  

That's all folks! 

We wish you a Very Merry Christmas from our house to yours!

With Love, 

The Furious Family

It's So Hard For Me To Say Anything

People, I am just devastated by the Newtown School Shooting.

It's hard for me to feel that anything else is worth mentioning, right now.  I am so heartbroken for those parents.  I am deeply saddened that anyone would ever have to contemplate such a horrific, terrifying, death.  I am so overwhelmed by it myself. My heart is wrenched by the thought of their terror filled last moments.  It's breaking me down.  It is the worst thing I can imagine.

My girls are a constant reminder.  My own Charlotte, barely a few months younger.

Everything I do, as a parent, all day, reminds me of how profound their loss is.

Doing laundry... and I stop and think how they will do their laundry and find some of their precious child's clothes in the pile.

Put my girls to bed... and know that their child's bed remains empty.

It's such a horrible grief... and I feel that I need to honor it by not forgetting.

By not putting small things above the weight of their lost lives.

This Is Important

read here


*I do want to amend this to be clear that I don't know anything about the author or the validity of her post... but I do think her overall point is important.  Any attention we can draw to our current mental health system and it's (very real) deficits is more than called for after a tragedy like this one.  I hope her post will make you think and investigate, and that is always a good thing.