Sure My Office Still Looks Like Shit

But behold this seasonal transformation:


We all know how important my mantel display is!

First impressions, people. If this looks good who is going to judge the fact that my floors are covered in a sea of toys, shoes, and strange outdoor debris?

The correct answer is... NO ONE.

It's too bad the lighting in my house always sucks and you can't behold it's true magnificence. Trust me.. it's lush and seasonally appropriate. It says "winter" without saying "HO HO HO".

P.S. Did you notice the cardinals? I am loving the glittery cardinals. I just can't help myself.

Short Lived

Well that break didn't turn out exactly as I had planned it.

Kid's got the stomach flu (let's hope that is what it is... she's got her party in 3 days... so...).

AND I'm babysitting (joy).

Today is going to be awesome.

Please Excuse Me

But do you see this...


This makes me feel bad. And crazy. And overwhelmed ON A DAILY BASIS (no not Baby... the room!).

Since babysitting this fall I do have a handle on EVERY other room in the house. (For real)

But this desk just does not work. AT ALL.
Even when the papers are not piled up in teetering towers.

As hard as it may be to believe we can actually clean this space up. BUT it will return to this within a few hours or days. This space has just always been the family dumping grounds. In part because this one room has 5 doors leading in and out of it. Partly because it is on the way out (or in) our back door. Partly because it is next to the laundry room (note clothes all over floor and spilling out of closets). Partly because it is Mr F's "dressing room". Partly because it is my "craft room". But mostly because it is apparently a war zone of paper, trash, and junk.

This office has just never worked for us in this house. It does not have adequate storage for the things we actually need to store in here. It doesn't have appropriate furniture that defines the space.

Since the moment we moved in this space has floundered about undefined. This is the room we never really unpacked. This is the room where all those bizarre odds and ends got placed while they awaited their final resting spot (only to remain here FOREVER). This room didn't have to be *presentable* and so it never has been.

One reason I was excited about the prospect of moving was that we could move away from it.

Now we're staying and I need this space to feel less like a large trash can and more like an extension of our house.

And it needs to be my priority.

I need to fix it.

I'll see you all when I have done that (it could be hours... or days... it could be YEARS).



If you want to play along put a link in the comments. I will check them out (on my sanctioned breaks of course)

Mr F On Hooters...

"Family friendly if you want your sons to be dicks and your daughters to be completely fucked up."


Word to that Mr F. Word to that.

All Over The Place... Updates Of All Kinds

This is shaping up to be a good week (as long as we don't catch H1N1). I don't have too much on my plate for a change and I'm hoping to pull down and store the Halloween decorations today and clean the house. I'm not babysitting until Thursday & Friday... which happen to be off for school conferences... so I'll need to hammer out anything I was hoping to get done BEFORE then. Kid's party is on Sunday, and while I debated that (Sunday that is vs Saturday), I'm really glad I chose that day... it gives me a whole day to make cupcakes and gather stuff without juggling babysitting on top of it all. I would have been a real bitch if I had had to do all that on Friday!


This weekend was fantastic. We drove about 6 hours to Myrtle Beach, SC. Mr F had two nights at a hotel there and we really made the best of it. Fellow blogger Kiki lives there so it was a good opportunity for us to hang out with her again. While it was not exactly beach weather (oh boo... you mean I don 't have to wear a bathing suit?) there were tons of fun things for us to do with the kids. They really enjoyed it and want to go back... and they LOVE Kiki (who doesn't?). When I can get Mr F to stop correcting his photos maybe I'll get a chance to put some up?!


For those of you wondering about Kid's shared birthday party... we are doing it. They came over for a playdate to hammer the details out and while it wasn't... hmm... how do I say this?... NORMAL... we do have it down to low key (I hope). Again let me say there is nothing about this woman that is evil she's just living in a slightly different reality. I'm really just going to show up with my plates & cupcakes & maybe a bunch of balloons. I'm letting everything else go. She can decorate as she sees fit. We did do an evite which I highly recommend (even though in some ways I'm anti) because you have an update tallying of who has seen the invite & who is coming (and how many uninvited siblings they're bringing... not that that is happening in this situation). She's bringing juice boxes which I find hilarious seeing as they are NOT low waste in any way. We are having presents... and after an hour's discourse on the topic she finally agreed to just NOT MENTION any part of it on the invitation. You know? People will either bring them or not... they really don't need a whole bunch of rules about the gifts. She wanted (and, boy, this is starting to get more involved then I intended) to have people RSVP and then she would call them and tell them which girl they would bring a gift for. Okay. I don't need Kid to get 20 presents but I'm pretty sure that step is completely unnecessary and only serves to complicate the party for the parents attending (which negates the whole point of doing a joint party). I will update you as things progress. I think I'm doing really well with this whole thing and am not feeling pressure to do more than I was.


Other updates... In Laws... they did call on her birthday. Now, I will have you know that they haven't called our house in close to 4 or 5 months. I suspect (and have... which is partly why I do it) that some people ARE reading the blog. When I mention how their actions/inactions make Kid feel things seem to happen. But I'm not expecting any kind of additional follow through from them at this point. They might call Mr F on Christmas.


Oh and Disney! I booked our hotel. This is our first time staying off site at Disney. I'm more than a little nervous about some of that (I realize it will be fine... but we are used to the WDW system) but our room is twice the size and has a separate living room and with two kids underfoot that could be the best mental health decision we've ever made. Plus it's about 40% cheaper... which means we can stay 40% longer. We're taking the full week of Thanksgiving off and heading down on the 21st. I'm hoping that will allow us a couple of days before the Thanksgiving crowds come. Oh and added bonus our hotel has a Thanksgiving buffet... which.... means I don't have to stress about the fact that all the Disney venues have been booked for the last year. And we're driving... which means... packing just got a LOT easier.

That's all I've got for now.

On The Plus Side She's Artistic

Minus Side?... She's kind of obsessed with male anatomy.

Bitch Fest Friday

You know what to do.

I Don't Know What It Is (scratch that... I do know exactly what it is)

I'm feeling a bit lackluster and tired.

The time change is kicking my ass for one thing.

And we're coming off of a week of guests. Which was great.... but... meant a lack of personal downtime and that starts to add up and ramp up the exhaustion factor.

Especially since there was the all night babysitting gig thrown in there. I haven't recovered. And it isn't that I'm not used to being woken in the night. I haven't had more than a 3 or 4 hour stretch of sleep in 7 years (LITERALLY PEOPLE). It had more to do with my nervousness about it not being my baby. In the end I just couldn't sleep because I was waiting to be woken up. (Oh and I did not get paid extra by the way!)

So it is with great pleasure that I announce that we are driving to the beach TONIGHT. We've got a comp hotel for two nights and Kid happens to have tomorrow off. So we're hitting the road after I'm done babysitting tonight and meeting up with Kiki and her family tomorrow! We're all very excited to have a little mini vacation and to take a breather... reorganize our minds... and brainstorm some life solutions on our drive down and back. (It is REALLY nice to have a dvd in the car... it allows for HOURS of adult conversation up in the front seats!)



P.S. Have no fear Bitch Fest Friday will go up as scheduled!

P.P.S. I'm leaving my computer AT HOME.

I Could Try And Come Up With Something To Say...

but I'll spare you.


I'm pricing Disney trips... for real this time... not just for therapy.

More on that later.


P.S. No we haven't lost our minds (or won the lottery)... it's a *sponsored* trip. My mom is trying to ensure I don't kill myself before Christmas.

It's Amazing How Much Weight You Can Gain In One Week

To put things in perspective I'm still full... from yesterday.

I blame the candy corn.

And the pumpkin bread.

And the family in town who took us out to eat... EVERY DAY.

And the not working out due to said family.

Unfortunately, history tells me, it will take at least 3 weeks to reverse the process.

Never before have I wanted to do one of those fasting cleanses. NEVER!

But, today, waking up full... the very site of food disgusting me... I'd almost do it.

Instead I'll just drink a couple of cups of coffee.

Maybe it will have the same results.

#1 Person On My Hit List...

The Teacher


Oh this post could be filled with nothing but sailor talk but I will try and restrain myself.
People! People! I can hardly sit still enough to type this.

ARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH!


Okay.

Today is Monday. Today was supposed to be Kid's birthday day at school since her birthday was on Saturday.

Fine.

At school last year this consisted of the birthday child's parents coming in the morning and taking part in circle time which centered around the birthday kid. Sharing wishes for the upcoming year and baby pictures. You also send in a *special* snack for their snack time.

This year the teacher gave us no idea what was included or when the birthday *time* would be.


Last night we ended up having to drop my car off at the repair shop. So I don't have a car. I also have 3 kids who need carseats. And NO car.

Three kids.... no car.

Okay.

I call the teacher and leave a message explaining the situation and asking if we could bump her fake birthday to Tuesday (also still fake).

I also sent her an email restating the situation and asking if we could celebrate on Tuesday.

I am sure that this effects the lesson plan (a bit) for the morning and knew (from experience) that this teacher needs LOTS of time to process new information... but.... come on! ... I don't have the means to get there.

No response.

Matt assures me NO ONE would make us do this... there is no reason that she wouldn't bump the celebration. If Kid had been sick they would have bumped it.

Okay.

7:59 AM THIS MORNING she sends an email...

"I'm sorry I could not return your call last night. It was my father's
birthday so I was at a family dinner. We have our centering
time blocked off today for Ruby's celebration but we can certainly postpone
the special snack until Tuesday. She can have a two-day extended
celebration :-)"

Um... how is that helpful?

So... I don't have a car... but I need to come into school TWO DAYS IN A ROW?!

And now it was 8:00 and I had to scramble to pull everything together. I don't even know if I'll have the car back on Tuesday (I just won't be babysitting as well... yes.... I have to bring the baby to this). I don't want Kid to go to school and have no one present at her centering so I make it work. I also pull the snack together... because... there is no way in Hell I'm doing this twice. Mr F's car can't actually fit us all. And we can't get Baby's carseat in there safely.

My mom is in town visiting and she (assuming she could eat breakfast at a normal pace) then had to drop everything and rush across town to try and get to our house to help transport all the kids to school. Even with her car we only just fit everyone in. And it was stressful. And unnecessary.

Then I call the teacher. I want to make sure she knows that if we're coming for centering I'm also sending in the snack. (seriously what was the point of that?).

"I just wanted to let you know that we're doing the snack today too."

"Oh? I don't understand."

"It wasn't the snack that was difficult... I don't have a car... it was the getting there that was going to be hard."

"Oh. Well we can certainly do the whole thing on Tuesday." (WTF?!!!!)

"We have it all set now. We'll just come today."

I wanted to kill her. I had just spent a crazed 45 minutes trying to prepare baby pictures, snacks & install carseats. I had to get Baby & the baby ready. I had to make lunch for Kid. And now, NOW, it would be okay to postpone it?!! The fact that I called the night before and said I didn't have a car wasn't reason enough? What the hell is going on with this woman?!

My mom, her husband, Matt & I all had visions of pitchforks in our heads as we sped off (late) for school this morning.

And the birthday centering was nice... but... it was TEN MINUTES. It could have easily been ANY day. And half the class (literally) was absent and missed her special day anyway.

Then (with the baby starting to fuss) the centering circle was over and lessons began. No excusing us. No telling us what happens next... just a lesson. There are 6 of us standing there (fussing) wondering what we should do. I started packing the baby up. Still no acknoweledgement. So I said "Should we go now?". The teacher looked up and said that they do this lesson and then math and then have the *special* snack at 10. But she didn't say what that even meant. Do we need to hand it out? That would be 45 minutes away. Are we supposed to mill around (fussing) for 45 minutes just to stand around while they eat pineapple? Last year the teachers served it, and since there had been no discussing of what we should expect... I did not expect that the morning would last for an hour and a half. I highly doubt many other parents will be able to spend that kind of time in the classroom. What was even the point? To watch the lessons? Or serve the snack? If the snack is so important than why don't we bump it up to follow centering... or move the birthday centering to snack time?

Mr F needed to go to work... but... he can't because he needs to drive half of us back home.

Kid seemed happy with her centering. I said "Well... I think it will be hard for us to make it that long. I think we need to leave but enjoy your snack."

That's when the assistant teacher (whom I've always liked) smirked and mumbled "Yeah I don't know why that would be hard for you with two babies."

Now That Was Interesting

On top of everything else... birthday... family staying over... Halloween...

last night I agreed to babysit the little baby so his mother could go out.

He came over at 9 PM and was supposed to stay until 12 AM. I know a lot of you would not do that... but... what the heck I knew I'd be up anyway. Well, she called at 12 and asked if he could stay the night and if she could get him in the morning. I agreed to that too. If you are calling to ask that... I figure that is what is best for the baby. I don't want her driving, driving with him, or even taking care of him if she's wasted.

Well... long story short I got NO sleep. I slept on the couch with him in and out of his carseat trying to rock it with one hand like a cradle and wishing there was a way I could sleep while doing so.

There wasn't.

I'm freaking exhausted.

She better pay me extra.

You Say It's Your Birthday

Happy Birthday To You!

more to come... Kid's still nude...

Bitch Fest Friday

You know what time it is...

Let it out.

Let it all out.

(It seems to me that doing this every week makes the week go faster.... no?)

Thank You

Just want to quickly say that we have really appreciated all the comments in the last couple of days.  I'm sorry that I can't return them all personally, but want you to know that (as usual) this community of readers has been a great support to us.  Thanks so much for listening and actually caring about our life. It really does mean a lot and has gotten us (both of us) through some times that would have been really difficult if we felt alone in them (I don't know who checks my comments more... me or Mr F).  It is still amazing to us that there are people out there... people who know more and care more about our actual life than many of the people who are in our life (or are supposed to be). Really it's amazing and we never stop appreciating it.  

Love,

Mrs F

Licking Our Wounds

It isn't until I lay down at night and try to still my mind that the grief washes over me.

The disappointment.

I feel like I am being swept up in a strong tide only to realize in a moment of panic that it is a whirlpool.

And I don't have the strength or energy left to pull myself out.

To fight.

Yet I'm terrified of being pulled under.

To give in.

Isn't that natural?

What's down there?

Maybe it's peaceful, I wonder while trying to drift to sleep.

Maybe it's quiet and calm.

Maybe I should just let go.

What happens when you stop having dreams?

Maybe you stop getting hurt.

I don't know that I'll ever find out.

And The Answer Is....

NO







hmm... do we have a Plan C ?

Looks like we need to come up with one.




fuck it




you can start crying now Mom

Oh You Know You Can't Get Enough

With Kid's birthday right around the corner the in law situation (or complete lack there of) is on my mind.

I can tell you this... if they don't man up and call her on her birthday... I pretty much think that's inexcusable. They are fast approaching "dead to me" status.

The Other White Meat

"Are you eating your boogs?" I ask Baby.

"Es my dinnah." Baby replies.

Yum.

Oh What? You Thought I'd Have An Answer By Now?

I'm not sure what is going to happen first...

Getting an answer...

or...

My mind imploding from the constant stress/pressure/excitement of waiting for an answer.


I am remaining grounded (ish). I am trying to think of all the negatives of even the most positive outcome (the only defensive mechanism I have left). There can always be a downside if you need there to be one.

More money?... we've grown so much from our financial struggles!

Full benefits?... who needs that!

You see? See how many downsides there are if you look hard enough.


No, seriously, there will be very real stress either way. Just new stress... which... might be somewhat lessened by being able to afford takeout again.


In other news I have NOT gotten all badass on myself. Yesterday, when I put on my jeans, Mr F actually said "Those look a little tight." Isn't it against the law for husbands to reveal that kind of honesty?! (It should be.) I blame the candy corn, Halloween M&Ms, fun size Twix, & peanut butter cups (WHAT?!!! there was a freaky sale). Well I'm over the candy. I had enough and I'm going on a candy free binge until ACTUAL Halloween. I pinkie swear.

I finished Kid's costume. And, ladies & gentlemen, it is all kinds of impressive. I have skipped the beading... since... Kid didn't notice there wasn't any... and who am I to remind her? That cut out HOURS of labor. I might even make Baby a matching costume with the extra ultra suede... or new couch pillows... it's kind of tough call.

And my Dad & his wife arrive on Thursday. And my Mom & her husband arrive on Saturday. I actually think that's a good arrangement. We just need to find appropriate beds for everyone. And try not to spend a gazillion dollars on food. I'll be putting on my thinking cap in regard to that today.

Oh and Kid's birthday is on Saturday and I need to start putting some kind of thought into that as well.