Nom De Plume

Yesterday the kids sat down to write out some Christmas Thank You notes.

Baby was getting frustrated trying to write out her name (9 letters is a bit much), so I tried to suggest some shortened variations.

"Do you want to try to write your name "Cha Cha" instead?" I offered.

"No! I want to write my name "Peachy 'Panzee"!" Baby said emphatically.

"Okay... but that isn't going to be any easier." I cautioned.

I stand corrected.

Loot

On Thursdays Kid goes to her electives homeschool program. That leaves Baby and I some awkward time to fill in Ann Arbor. With the weather being what it is... we opted to head to the Mall (a newly discovered adventure to Baby after xmas shopping there). We got a smoothie and she played on the indoor play structure.

But the real lure was jewels...

I discovered this Christmas, while searching for gifts for my three teenaged nieces, that Forever 21 was a dress up loving three year old's Mecca. It took her breath away... all of those diamonds in one place. On hooks low enough to reach, no less.

Fabulous jewels, and bobbles, and hair accessories... for practically NO MONEY.

I mean, ridiculously cheap.

Cheaper than children's jewelry from Target.

And

These are REAL.

See...

Long And Short Of It

I'm having another migraine.

This is really starting to affect our quality of life.

The last two days (before the headache) are almost worse than the ensuing head pain (which is incredibly bad).

I just feel like complete shit, physically and emotionally.

Light headed, exhausted, irritable and depressed.

Then it magically lifts and in it's place is a searing, aching, compression in my brain.

Continuous.

And nearly unbearable nausea.

I actually find myself fantasizing about that scene in Grey's Anatomy when Izzy drills into a trapped guys head with a cordless drill.

Really.

And the head pain is actually better than the two days of aura.

So that's kind of saying something.

The headache will last anywhere from 24 to 72 hours.

And this has been happening to me EVERY OTHER WEEK.

Every other freaking week.

For the past 5 months.




The thing I'm thankful for?... that this shit didn't start happening until we moved from Asheville. If this had been going on down there... I'd probably have killed myself.

Or developed a really bad drinking habit.

One or the other.

The Sick Bed

"You do know you can use Kleenexes more than once?" Mrs F says after surveying the scene.

"Oh." replies Kid with a guilty laugh.


But why bother, really, when it makes such a nice fluffy background for this...

Highbrow Lowbrow

Mr F and I have been really enjoying the current Masterpiece Classic miniseries on PBS.

You can watch the first couple of episodes of Downton Abbey HERE.

It really is fantastic.

I mean it.




In other news, I made my first home shopping network purchase.

I never thought I'd see the day.

But due to an inappropriately sexual commercial I was forced to quickly change the channel.

Fate led me to view Debbie Meyer's Green Boxes on HSN.

I debated it for a few minutes, but when I saw the fruit & veggie side by side shot... well... I was sold.

I mean it was AMAZING.

Joy Giveaway Part 2

(lest you think we forgot)

Last Thursday was supposed to be our 2nd giveaway of the year. Unfortunately, I had a raging migraine... so this week we're doubling up.

Today I purchased 2 $5 giftcards to Target (I was there).

Then I immediately handed one over to our cashier. I just had the feeling she was the person.

In fact, I think she may have been the employee I had noticed the 1st week and debated giving it to.

Well, she was very grateful.

But not 30 seconds later I was approached by the floor manager saying that she couldn't except it.

And I could fill out an employee recognition form to send to corporate instead.

Hmm... not exactly what I had had in mind.

Of course I did.

While this is going on there is much hullaballo at the customer service desk about all of this.

It seems they all agree my cashier is VERY DESERVING. One of their best employees.

And so sweet.

The customer service manager said she wouldn't have taken it away.

They pointed out that that is just how great the cashier is... she is too nice to break the rules.

They all wished she just hadn't told anyone; then she could have kept it.

So I said "If I give this back to her, and you aren't looking, will that be alright."

They all agreed.

So I marched back over to her and put it on her register.

I'm not sure she knew what to make of it.

I do hope she keeps it.


(She's the cashier, with her back to us, all the way on the end)

Maybe my next mission will go better?

12:40 PM

Tiger quietly observing the birds (he's been at this all morning)...


Tea for me...
Baby playing in her bath...
Kid at work...

Sweet Pea actually chewing on something she's supposed to...

laundry...again; I had left it in there wet since Saturday. Maybe today I'll remember to put it in the dryer...
Workout shirt... I guess I'm feeling optimistic...

10:30 AM

This is one of the pillows Baby & I made last year in Asheville. This kill was actually devastating to her. She came running & screaming out of the playroom. (Why didn't she just take it away?!... we're still working on that with both girls). Making those pillows was a big deal for her. A very special memory. It made me realize that I need to carve out some more time to sew with her. Plus, now we need another pillow...

9:30 AM

This morning Baby climbed back in bed to play quietly, snuggled up to her sleeping big sister. And it was just about one of the cutest things I've stumbled upon.

It warms my heart to no end, to bear witness to their love and comfortability with each other.

This is why I do what I do.

I Really Am Sorry

It seems like I should have more time for blogging.

But I don't.

I'm having a kind of hard time theses days.

Trying to carve out any personal time... at all.

Everything has a price.

And the move, has been good on many fronts, but not on every front.

I am alone a lot. A LOT.

Mr F's hours are such that he is home MUCH less.

And, he can't really contact me in the day.

So, he can't read the blog, and catch up on what we're doing, as he used to.

It turns out that might have been more of my motivation than I realized.

He used to know, via my posts, some things.

He was still able to be "in on it".

Not so much anymore.

Plus, the homeschooling... which does, in fact, take some time.

And then.... you remember our driveway right?.... super long asphalt?

Well that doesn't shovel itself.

So that's another 2-3 hours a day (counts as exercise right?).

And that time comes out of any small window I had for myself (for blogging, for working out, for Oprah...).

And, yes, we could get it plowed.

But I'm not actually sure that is going to change very much.

(Plus I did ask Mr F to handle that 4 weeks ago.... he bought me a new shovel last weekend...)

Anyway.

On top of that I'm getting these migraines 2x a month.

So, that there, is another 6-7 days a month that I just can barely function.

It's been kinda rough.

So, long story short.

I miss you.

I have not forsaken you.

I'll be back, in whatever way I can, when I can.

I am trying the best I can to keep everything moving in the right direction.

(except maybe me).

And I am trying to figure out in what way(s) I can continue to blog regularly.

But, right now, I just have so many other pressing tasks, that I haven't been able to figure it out.

Hopefully soon, though.

Right after I get Sweet Pea to stop ripping up everything made of cloth and containing a stuffing.

Sometime after that.

Hostage

Baby has taken to wearing this ski scarf over her head when she's in the car... like this... for every trip (the whole way).
I could not stop laughing when I saw her in the rearview mirror the first time (heck... I can't stop laughing now). She looks like she's a POW and we're transporting her to an undisclosed location. Just imagine if you were driving next to us on the highway. Hilarious.




Not that I think real hostage taking is funny.. just my daughter. I'm not making light of war crimes. Just want to be sure that's clear.

Sweet Pea!

Guess who was waiting at the Humane Society after all?


This sweet Cajun girl came up from Baton Rouge on a rescue truck. She is everything we were looking for. Good with cats, good with kids, small, laid back. Only problem?... she's part Bassett Hound... so... she already ran away within 5 minutes of getting home! Caught the scent of a squirrel and took off. Gave us quite a little jolt! She's small... but very strong!... Kid cannot walk her on a leash. Lesson learned. Mr F is setting up a dog run right now, which we bought on our way home... we were prepared for this inevitability. She scored an "A" on all of her temperament test (except coming when called... which she got a "B" for... and again we expected as much). She was shy and scared at the shelter, but even so she never acted out. We took her for a walk and she warmed up quite a bit. Everyone there, and her former foster home in LA, all reported that she was an exceptional dog (and VERY well house broken!). She had passed the cat introduction test with flying colors and the shelter guy said he had 100% confidence that she would not show aggression towards our cat. So, how could we walk away?! I didn't want to risk losing her. Sure, there are more beautiful dogs out there (even at the shelter today) but... getting a laid back dog, that is house broken, good with kids and with cats?! Hello! She's ours. Once home, she is a different dog, tail waggin, toy playing, fun girl... who also likes to lie down in her new bed... a lot. She's very happy. The dog and cat have introduced themselves without so much as a bark (in fact she hasn't made any sounds at all since we met her). They smelled each other's butts and that's about it. We're keeping them separated for the next few days... just to keep everything on the safe side. The cat is sitting on his side of the door trying to open it and get in the dog's space as I write this. I think they'll be fine. Mr F is almost done setting up the run from our back door to a big tree in our yard... this girl will not ever be able to be out without being on a lead... so I'm happy to have this taken care of ASAP! It's actually kind of a good thing she took off like she did... Mr F got motivated to install it pronto... and without that nudge it might have taken a week or month or so.

Contenders

A whole bunch of new dogs are at the Humane Society. I've been waiting for some *smaller* non-puppies to show up.
I just found out that Wednesday is half-price adoption day.
So, check back Thursday to see what I've gotten myself into...

Kelvin
His nose reminds me of Putty's.... what can I say? He's cute. He looks like an old timer and that's endearing. He's only 1.

Sweeny
He is a surrendered family dog given up due to allergies. He is allegedly good with kids. I like his smiley face. He's 2. (P.S. Doesn't he look just like Bob, Mom?)

Sweetpea
She is not small... despite appearances... she's part Basset Hound. But, as her name suggests, she is supposed to be very laid back and sweet natured. She's 1.

The Deed Is Done

Well, we did it. I'd like to say it was completely fulfilling experience that filled us all with joy... but... alas that is not entirely the case. This whole idea, this giving to give (unexpected joy) and not giving to receive (acknowledgement, validation... big or small, thanks) is not necessarily easy. I entered this knowing that. Knowing that some people will be grateful later. Not everyone can process what is happening, and respond appropriately even if they can, in the seconds that our paths cross in the aisles of Target (or elsewhere). I knew that. I did. But, I'm big enough to admit that it was still really disappointing when it played out that way. This exercise might be less about receiving joy through spreading joy, as it is about being humble. Accepting the truth about giving to give and really not giving to receive.

So we started out our mission at our familiar stomping grounds... I knew there would be lots of different people to chose from, and that at Target $5 can be used in about a million ways, from frivolous to necessary.

We went in and got our gift card (and envelope... more on that later... it was a mistake). I had written this little note on a sticky pad to put on the gift card (hence the use of an envelope) to give a little explanation.

I had envisioned this as a hand off type deal. I didn't want to count on having the time or interest (on their part) of being able to explain myself. (I do think this was a good idea).

So, we started scanning our options. This immediately became trying on me. There is no way to do this without starting to fall back on *who is deserving* type categorization. And this is not supposed to be about that. Everyone is deserving of this. So the next shopper I saw was this man (this is taken, oddly, after the fact when he was running back from checkout to price check or exchange something). He had a cart FULL of bed linens. So, I thought... he's spending a lot on necessities he'll probably appreciate it.

When we were next to each other I just handed the envelope over and said "This is for you." He took it and said without pausing "Oh. Thanks." And kept going. I can't write out his tone, but it was surprising.... because... he wasn't surprised. He sounded both like this happened every day to him, and that he expected it.

Well, that was a HUGE bubble burster.

I walked away not knowing if he even realized it was a gift card, or knew to open it before he checked out. I think, he may have accepted it in the way a polite person accepts something they don't really want... strange coupon, religious pamphlet, etc.
And I think my presentation kind of lent toward that assumption. I do hope he eventually opened it, and realized what it was (it was a gift card envelope for crying out loud!... although who knows what I might have put in it).

Lessons learned:
#1 It might be best to present to someone who is actively shopping. Someone with a cart full of stuff on the way to checkout... is ready to go... maybe in a hurry... and more likely not to want to engage.

#2 NO ENVELOPES! Really, I do think that was a big mistake, because it just put that barrier up that made it impossible for someone to recognize what they're getting. These transactions can be very fast, and while I don't need an appropriate appreciative response... I do want to be sure they know it's money and not something to toss! Next time I'm just sticking my sticky on the back side of the actual gift card and handing it over gift card UP!

#3 Giving something unexpected... means you are surprising people... not everyone reacts appropriately when caught off guard. That is part of it.

#4 Wanting to give to give is not the same as wanting to give to get tons of adoration for what a selfless, thoughtful, giving person you are in return. Even if deep deep down in the pit of you... or who am I kidding? right there on the damn surface... that's what you'd really like... and what would make you feel a hell of a lot more joyful. The truth is a hard pill to swallow, my friends.

#5 Next time choose a teenage girl... they are WAY more chatty!

Of Course...

I do have a crap load of stuff to report.

#1 I've been using my SparkPeople app on my iphone for the last week. I'm pretty happy with it. I like that I can journal my food intake on the spot, including looking things up if necessary. It's convenient, it's free, and it keeps my desktop and my actual desk top cleared off... so win win win. I'm trying to lose about 10-12 pounds, and so they have me at 1500-1800 calories, and working off a 150 calorie burn everyday. Sticking to that calorie limit is absolutely doable and no big deal, I am not actually hungry for more than that, and tracking just keeps me from doing something stupid that would push me over that amount. I actually worried I couldn't lose on that amount... but... they were right. I'm down one pound in one week, without stressing or even trying. And I've finally found the time that will work for my day for me to workout, and I am back to my 60 minute treadmill sessions, which is what I like. After our breakfast and morning lessons, I get my workout in before lunch. Most days of the week this works. So, I'm not stressing or making this a 100% or 0% deal with myself. I enjoy it, and really just needed to find the right time for it. Now that Kid is homeschooling, it's actually easier for me to fit the workout in, since I'm not driving all over town all afternoon anymore. And because I'm with both kids all day, I don't feel guilty about taking an hour out for myself. When I'm not hammering myself about workout every single day... I actually find myself working out a good 5 times a week and enjoying it. So, I'm using the SparkPeople app to track that, and I'm cutting myself the necessary slack in order to fit regular exercise into my daily life, without it being a battle for perfection. And, that attitude is the difference between my ability to stick to it, and my perfectionistic sabotage. I'm going to do it when I can (which is most days) but not stress out, and freakout, trying to cram it into too tight of a schedule, which spirals down into frustration, failure, and then quitting. Some days, I really am just too busy... and that is okay.

#2 I'm thinking of surprising Mr F with this guy...
Mostly, because when Mr F saw him his face lit up, he reminded him so much of his old cat Dusty. And that will bring him joy.

But also because his name is Washington.... which reminds me of this... (warning vulgarity police! This is not for you)

Which makes me laugh, because it is so absurd.... and because it is so damn catchy. And so whenever I see this cat I start singing "Washington, Washington" and that brings me joy.

So, in short, this cat = abundant Furious Family joy.

#3 Homeschooling is going well. Of course, the last two weeks we were on break ;)
Kid is over it, and is happily staying home. The work we are doing is enjoyable for both of us, and we seem to have a good balance. I'm really happy with the Sonlight curriculum. Really happy. In two weeks we start her day of extracurriculars that are offered for homeschoolers. Every Thursday she'll have a day full of Chemistry, Watercolor, Gymnastics, and Band classes, with lunch, and I hope she enjoys it, and we can make some new friends. I've also joined a homeschool group out by us, and starting next Wednesday they've set up a science class with a local MetroPark's nature center, and that is something that both Kid and Baby will enjoy. This group has also been extremely friendly, and as it turns out, there are 4 other 8 year old girls in it... which is awesome. We have our first playdate tomorrow. On top of all of that, Kid still has swimming and Brownies... so, socially, she's busy. In fact, I've cut out a couple of things this semester, so that we can focus on the things we really enjoy and lend themselves to forming friendships.

#4 Mr F did take the week after Christmas off and painted the entire time. Bye bye asylum. Really. What a difference having a different wall color, than the trim & ceiling color makes! Everything looks so much nicer... it's like a different house. And that is just the hallway. Pics to come, after we get all of our doorknobs replaced (and possibly doors...). Our hall lights look fantastic now. Fantastic. Baby's room is now pink (not ultra intense primary yellow!) and my room is next (although that might be months away if we're being realistic). Then we've still got to take down the border in the kitchen and paint the kitchen and then paint the big family room. We've still got some work to do, but the main impact spaces are nearing completion and once we get our Christmas decorations down, we can finally start hanging things and finish those rooms up.

That's it.

Oh, I'm hoping to start meal planning again soon (this week, please). Our new fridge (not new really really old) is a top freezer over fridge... and food just gets lost in there (vs a side by side for visibility). I've been spending 3x as much on food and throwing a lot a way. In Asheville I was down to NO food waste... so this is especially disappointing, and I need to get back on top of it. Meal planning is key, I'm thinking.

Oh, and look for our first $5 giftcard post on Friday. We're going to do the deed on Thursday (I am a little nervous) and hopefully manage to sneak a picture of our victim. It'll be fun. Or awkward... which should at least be funny... if at my own expense.

Happy New Year!

Every New Year's Eve, for the last 4 or 5 years, I've been trudging outside at the stroke of midnight, digging a little hole at the edge of a garden and whispering in my wishes for the new year.

It is a cultural custom, but I can't remember where it comes from. Either way, it seems symbolic and hopeful, so I've been doing it.

And, maybe because I've been particularly careful what I'm wishing for, they have all come true.

Honestly.

I had decided that 2011 was going to be the year I focus on our happiness.

(We've finally got stability.)

What that means, I don't know in particular, just that I want to evaluate our choices based on their direct effect on our happiness.

Period.

It's an experiment.

And I don't really see how it will be too regrettable... what with our increased happiness and all.

But how to make that into a wish?

I wished for our family to have abundant joy.

Joy is a little different from happiness, in my book.

It is a bit more of a positive outlook, less hedonistic.

And, well, my experience with the wishes is, the more altruistic the better.

But then I lay in bed thinking... how can I make that wish come true?

Abundant joy.

Other wishes, while maybe more out of my control, also gave me a goal... and working towards that may very well be 90% of the mission.

Then I thought that if I could create small moments of joy in others... well... that would bring me joy.

And maybe spread joy.

And that would be coming closer to the definition of abundant joy.

So I thought, and thought...

I thought about large grandiose gestures, and small everyday.

And then I hit on what I think is a doable, ongoing, year long mission to spread a little joy to others.

Every week I am going to give a $5 gift card to a stranger.

I thought about cash, but I think, that creates a bit more awkwardness.

Once a week, when I'm at a store I'll get a $5 giftcard to that store, and then Kid and I (she's very excited about this) will decided who to hand it to.

"How will we know if they need it?" Kid asked.

"Well, I thought about that last night, we won't. Just because someone doesn't need the $5 doesn't mean they don't need something unexpected to happen to them. Maybe if there is a rich looking lady in line at the Starbucks in Target and we give her the $5, she'll be touched by it, and then in turn go over and pay for an entire person's cartful of stuff at the checkout, which we couldn't do." I explain.

It isn't about saving the world, or making the best possible choice for how to give $5. When looking through that frame, it becomes impossible to carryout. It is simply about giving a small unexpected moment, of befuddlement, surprise... possibly joy.

And then maybe it spreads.

I know, I can still remember EVERY time something like this has happened to me, and it did change me, and make me want to return the favor, in what way I could.

But, maybe, it doesn't... and it's just $5 that stops with that one person.

And that is okay too. Because, the surprise, the giving, it will still bring me joy.

And it will be something that Kid will remember for the rest of her life.

One year, when she was 8, her mom gave away $5 to a stranger every week.

That will change her.

And it'll be worth every penny.

I'm Not Sure If I'll Ever Blog Again

We just got Super Mario Bros for our Wii.

Buttering Up

"Hello, Mother, you look radiant and beautiful today." Kid says.

"Gee... thank you." Mrs F replies.

"I don't even know what radiant means." Kid confesses and cackles maniacally.

"And I like your outfit, and the way you are chopping up food." She continues after recomposing herself.

"Thank you." Mrs F returns uncertainly.

"Do you know what I'm doing?" Kid asks forebodingly.

"Yes... I just don't know why." Mrs F says.

Addiction Management Starts With Prevention

"I want a phone like that" Kid says.

"What would you do with it?" Mrs F asks.

"Play Cut the Rope for like 12 hours straight every day." Kid returns.

"That's why you don't have one." Mrs F replies.

Christmas Detox

From 2 days of rum punch

Four straight weeks of (at least) a dozen cookies a day

I told Mr F today I was getting back to badass... and I hoped it would happen naturally and overnight.

Sadly, that is not the case.

So I opted to stay in bed and avoid the counter full of leftover treats (in hopes that they might disappear down someone else's gullet).

I've emerged from my bed only to discover that The Furious Fam has finally entered the 21st century...



In a somewhat surprising turn of events it appears that Kid is a fairly brutal opponent.


(she had to remover her pants... they were holding her back)
It looks like Kid's homeschool recess just got a lot more enjoyable.

Maybe they'll let me set up my Wii Fit sometime soon...

Although from the looks of things, I doubt it.


(I suppose I should clarify that she does have underwear on... pink)