Saturday, May 17, 2008

Not To Beat A Dead Horse, But...

Seeing as I had nearly 2000 hits a day during this past week... it appears that you all are interested in the "in-law incident".

For those of you have have been wondering how this came about let me explain. Because it is important to know that I did not know my mother in law (or her extended family) was reading. In fact the whole reason I actually don't feel crippled with guilt is that I know my own heart on this one... and I know I wasn't writing anything about anyone to intentionally hurt their feelings. If I had known who was reading I would have altered my writing.

So what about the infamous holiday letter? Ah yes. The holiday letter. Well the thing is although the blog was a "here's what Mrs F is up to" tidbit... we didn't actually think it would interest many. Let's face it Mr F has had a blog for years (which was also mentioned in several past letters) and he didn't exactly rack up a devout family following (not that your blog isn't any good Honey). So why on Earth would we think these same people would take a sudden interest in mine? Naive? I don't know. The card was sent to a couple of his aunts and uncles (you know the card sending usual) who are in their 50s and 60s... not all of whom are computer savvy or have jobs with ample "blog downtime". It's not like they have blogs of their own. After the letter where we talked about my cake decorating (Xmas '04) it's not like anyone called with a cake order if you know what I mean. It just seemed so incredibly unlikely. And with no feedback (no comments, no emails, no phone calls... no mention whatsoever) it really never occurred to me that they were reading. In fact I would have bet serious money that they weren't.

At this point I feel this way... I'm going to write what I want. Not out of rebellion but because I feel that I have made my peace with the situation. And because the blog is both more interesting to write and interesting to read when I am as uncensored as possible. Am I sorry that my Mother-in-law's feelings were hurt? Absolutely. Do I wish her family, who knew she was reading and hurt, had told me MONTHS ago? Yes (and I can't really understand their actions). But do I feel that what I wrote was cruel? No. It wasn't written to be seen by her. It isn't any different than the countless times she (and everyone else reading) has gossiped or complained about her own extended family. It's human nature. It's why I've had 2000 hits a day. At this point they can read at their own risk. I've asked that they not, but I, of course, can't enforce that.


Smitty said...

Hey Mrs. F. I have just come up for air and from under a pile of diapers to see all of this.

I know you don't write aything on this blog for my (or anyone else's) approval. That said, you open up about so many personal things - from weight loss to health to family - in such a way that many of us (me included) are way too chicken to do. I am honored to be included, to a degree, in your and Mr. F's life.

Great to be here!

Mrs Furious said...

Hey Smitty,
Thanks. I really do appreciate all the positive feedback I've gotten this week.
Lord knows I've needed it ;)

Now if only I could do 50 pushups....

Deb said...

Holy cow! 2,000 hits?! Your BlogHer check is going to be like... sheesh... $25 this month! ;) You're rich!

Julie said...

I'll keep reading even if you talk smack about me. It's fun and real. Love it.

Mrs Furious said...

When I got my first check it was for 2 months (they fucked up) and like $78 which seemed fair and when I realized that it was really only 30 something a month I was so disappointed! When I called them the owner just said "if it makes you feel better you're making more than I am." Pathetic. I had had much higher hopes for my financial reimbursement. ;)

Mrs Furious said...

Stop being a psychotic bitch!!!!! ;)

G in Berlin said...

In a tiny way, this happened to me. I actually gave my log address to my parents, thinking they might be interested in what we are doing 3000 miles away, especially the photos of the children. When she never read the blog, I was very hurt, but I stll actively censored what I wrote about in re my family. Then, 4 months after I wrote a throw away sentence about my own temper, saying that I had inherited it from her, she freaked out, threw a fit, made my dad's life hell (I guess she decided to read 6 months of my blog at the same time). Now I am wishing that she didn't know my blog, becuase I really wish that I could vent the way you are doing, and I would if she had googled her way into my privacy. So, you do what you want. I vent through you!And I have friends who just moved from the metro NY area to Charlotte- they absolutely love it. From a 2 BR house to a 4 for the same price, but great school district. Asheville is supposed to be gorgeous and full of fun things.

Nutmeg said...

Something about calling Julie a psychotic bitch made me almost pee my pants laughing.

Heather said...

I just can't believe that his family members knew that she was reading and didn't tell you. This whole thing has been so sad. You should have a great extended family, like me for instance: I'm currently wearing my mother in law's underwear. :) Still no sign of our luggage. I'm getting more pissed every day.

But back to you. I'm really, really impressed with how you and Mr. F have handled. You guys ROCK.

Jennifer said...

Yeh, I accounted for probably like a 1000 of those hits. lol. I was so worried for you. I should have known you would come out just fine and skinnier. :)

Julie said...

Dammit, I wish I had seen your reply last night. Hey, it takes one pyschotic bitch to know another one.

You should have a great extended family, like me for instance: I'm currently wearing my mother in law's underwear. :) I totally laughed out loud to that one, Heather!

And Jennifer, I was the other 1,000 hits. I kept checking to see if swalk would come back so I could kick some blogger ass:) It was like a blog "girl/housewife fight" with insults about the other's cooking ability and housekeeping...oh shit, I almost forgot about the breastfeeding dig, too. Although, it was pretty one-sided. I think swalk should showcase her recipes and cleaning style so we can judge her, too.

Mrs Furious said...

one thing we know for sure we can do better than swalk is spell ;)

lol...wearing your MILs underwear is the definition of close.
I pray your luggage arrives magically on your doorstep.

" I was so worried for you."
I appreciate that. I've thought a lot about what you said the other day... and it is really on them. They'll have to live with their judgments.

G in Berlin,
I'm sorry about your mom and the blog troubles. It kind of makes me cringe since I know exactly how that feels. Hopefully things will smooth out.

Oh I was cracking my own self up ;)

Daniela said...

I hate the holiday letter. All incarnations of them. If you wanted to know what my family was up to, you would have called; and vice-versa.

I have an aunt that sends one to my mom every year that is just chock full of "Megan bought a new Lexus" and "Thomas just won the equivalent of the Nobel Peace Prize at his company" and then you find out that the Lexus was some used 1993 model and that the work acknowledgement was some certificate that he got for having the highest number of injury-free days at work.

I hate the sugarcoated BS that some people put into them, y'know?

Swark, if you're reading... killed any puppies lately?

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