"Okay, you're going to go down the salad dressing aisle. You're looking for canola mayo." Mrs F says to Mr F over the phone.
"Okay I see the mayo. Canola mayo?" Mr F asks.
"Yes, CANOLA mayo." Mrs F confirms.
"Okay, now you need to get the smoked salmon. You're going to head straight back to the end of the store." Mrs F instructs.
"All the way back. There's a cooler with the pig products: bacon, ham. The smoked salmon is on the left side." Mrs F clarifies.
"I see trout. Smoked trout." Mr F says.
"No. Salmon. The wild salmon. It's hanging up." Mrs F says.
"Wild sockeye salmon?" Mr F asks.
"Yes, wild sockeye salmon." Mrs F says slowly.
"Okay now you're going to get the ground turkey. It's in the case across from the meat counter. It's in a package." Mrs F says.
"Turkey thighs?" Mr F asks.
"No. GROUND TURKEY." Mrs F clarifies.
You see how this is going.
That's just 3 items people.
This is how it is practically every time Mr F goes to the store. Typically fifteen minutes into the conversation I have to say something like..."I'm sorry I can't take this anymore. Just call me when you get to the checkout and we'll review."