Mr F Wants Everyone To Be In Love With Him

So behold...

Yes, he does the dishes.

But the reason I'm married to him is because he watched Saving Sarah Cain last night, a Lifetime Original Movie, about an orphaned Amish family (yes take that ALL in).

Just wait it gets better.

In reference to the funeral scene wherein a fancy city slicker awkwardly shows up late (bearing flowers no less) and then has her cell phone go off Mr F said...

"That's like the worst case scenario."

"What your cell phone going off at an Amish funeral?" I asked.

"Yeah. It's bad enough that she's an Englisher." Mr F replied.

Then he smiled up at me and said "Do you love me?"

Yes I do.

You Wish Your Saturday Was This Exciting

"Look what Dad found!" Kid exclaims, as she throws her coat onto the living room floor.

"I'm so excited I'm not even doing my chores* right now!" She continues.

"Wow, then you must be that excited everyday." Mr F replies under his breath.



* one of her very few chores is to hang up her coat!

Parenting 101

"I'm just going to..." Kid begins.

"How 'bout you do what I told you to do." Mrs F cuts her off.

Guaranteed To Make You Smile

Mrs F's Got Weight Loss On The Brain

Even if you aren't ready to do anything else I believe doing this one thing...

could make a difference. Try it for a month and see if just the act of writing down your weight doesn't inspire you to eat less or workout more. I really believe that the scale is just another tool and that it can be used to your advantage. I know, for me, that weighing DAILY is key for maintenance. That one act sets the tone for the day and says I'm still engaged in the process... that I'm still being mindful and conscious about my weight.

When I stop weighing in it is the first sign that I am no longer *playing the game* that I have disengaged and that I am no longer exercising or paying attention to what I eat. Time and again when I look back at my calendar the times I have skipped weighing in for a few weeks (or a month or so) are times when I have given in to outside stressors and have been sabotaging myself. Every freaking time I stop weighing in my weight has crept up past my maintenance range. I think getting up and weighing in not only keeps me honest and accountable for what I'm doing to my body... it also sets a positive "can do" type message for the day, no matter what the number. This one act says to myself that I'm still showing up and that this is still a priority for me.

Try it!


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Also on the topic of weight loss I thought that Bob Greene's webcast with Oprah the other night was FANTASTIC (FYI it wasn't about Oprah... so don't let her deter you). I took a couple of pages of notes and thought his "circle of life" exercise was on the money (and I hate journal type exercises). You can download it on Oprah.com or iTunes.

It's All Yours For The Taking

You might not have won my giveaway but you can still get something for stopping by everyday.

Hop over HERE and you can download Suze Orman's latest financial book for free.

Now I'll admit I haven't ever made it through one of her books... but... hey it's free and I saw her lay out her action plan on Oprah last week and I thought it made sense and was doable.

And The Winner Is...

Mr F's Secret Life Revealed

"Dis a baybee?! Dis a baybee?!" Baby asks frantically and somewhat concerned.

"Hmm... that's a weird Daddy baby." Mrs F replies uncertainly.

Ever Wondered Why Mrs F Talks About Her Weight?

This video is for you... all new insights (so even long time readers might learn something new!)...

I have a lot to say on the subject but I'm home alone with Baby... hopefully I'll get up a written post on the subject when I get some time tonight.

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This video is NOT as good as my first one but it's still chock full o' info.

What was missing from this video that I had in the other was more of a discussion about how my work in therapy allowed me to make more peace with the relationships that had been damaging as a child. And as those relationships improved and allowed for more open communication of feelings I was no longer stuck recreating that dynamic within myself. And without that I know for sure that I wouldn't have been able to be as successful losing or maintaining my weight loss.

The other part missing is the part where I talk about emotional eating and poor health choices modeled for me by my mother and how much harder it is to establish healthy habits when you aren't exposed to them as a child. Not only was emotional eating and self sabotage modeled for me (unintentionally of course) but never seeing people exercise or control their eating (healthfully) set me up to feel that those are things you shouldn't really have to do. Which is, of course, precisely why I want to succeed so that I can raise my daughters up with a positive role model in that regard.

I Need To Get This Off My Chest

Did you see The Biggest Loser last night? Did you?!!!
Sweet baby Jesus it was the best episode off all... past seasons included. I cried tears of joy and compassion and in the end sorrow. I thrilled at Bob's crazy blowout.... dude, you know he was one step away from an actual physical beat down... it was awesome. This episode brought it all... it was amazing TV.

Who's The 4th Best Diarist?... Yeah You Know Who!

I'm not sure why I'm so excited about coming in 4th at something... but hey... considering that the blogs that came out ahead of me have considerably more readers I think that is an honorable finish.

While I may not have the most readers I definitely have the most loyal! Who else could have brought me up from 7th to 4th within a day. Awesome display of teamwork.

Now don't forget to enter the GIVEAWAY. I'm not sure what I'm giving away just yet... but rest assured it will be something you want!

Proof Of Life

Today was a big day... well I guess I should say this morning was a big morning. Weeks ago I had signed Baby up for a toddler class run through the public school system here. I had been looking forward to getting her out and about and a bit more social during our long days without Kid. Of course I had assumed I'd be fully upright and functional when I did that. Anyone who has attended anything like this knows that circle time involves a lot of sitting and up and downs and hookieing and pookieing. So I was a bit apprehensive to go today but I had also committed to our spot and didn't want to miss out on introductions and whatnot. In retrospect I needn't have bothered... as there weren't any introductions and no one even acknowledged my existence... but hey hindsight is 20/20.

I could barely sleep last night I was so worried about a lot of what was going to go into getting out of the house: getting Baby dressed, putting on her shoes, going down the front steps, driving, wearing something other than old yoga pants.... but most of all getting Baby in and out of her carseat. As any parent knows that can break your back... even when you're... you know... not broken. Baby fought me on most of the steps involved having gotten quite used to her new routine of getting up and staying in her PJs all day while she watches TV and eats cookies. But once out the door her attitude improved. When I opened the van door I said "Can you get all the way in your seat by yourself?" hopefully. "Yes I Do!" came Baby's enthusiastic response. And she did! She even took the time to pull all of her buckles out of the way before turning around and sitting down. Phew! That was way easier than I feared.

Even driving was better than I had anticipated. With the help of a cushy pillow I was virtually pain free. Then the parking lot happened. It was covered in ice... which I didn't notice until I had gotten us out of the car... or I assure you I wouldn't have gotten out. I was filled with real terror still able to vividly remember the pain of my first fall. To avoid it I had to tromp all over an uneven hillside which was not much better... especially since I had to carry Baby to do it.

We made it though. I proved that I can leave the house, that Baby can get in and out of the car... should some type of emergency arise. And that is important to know since feeling dependent all the time is not good for one's psyche. But the whole event ... which was less than an hour start to finish... wore me out. I mean I feel like I just ran a marathon and then was put through the "spank machine". I'm couch bound for the rest of the day. It was too early and I won't be making that mistake again.

Mrs F's Voter Appreciation Giveaway!!!!

The Polls Are NOT Closed. So please continue to cast your votes today.

If you have faithfully voted everyday be sure to give me a comment so that I can put your name in the drawing. If you were able to vote more than once a day let me know and you will get an entry for each of your extra daily votes. I'll be announcing the winner Thursday AM to give everyone a chance to get their name submitted.

First Nude Schools And Now...

"Only two more days and then NudeFest!" Kid announces excitedly.

"What's NudeFest?" Mrs F asks cautiously.

"After swimming we take off our suits and go NUDE into the washers!" Kid explains.

Updates... Of All Kinds

#1 Thank you to everyone who has kept my Nana in your thoughts and prayers. I actually don't have any concrete news. She is not doing well, or even doing better, but she is still hanging on. At some point that will probably create more issues but for now she is still in the ICU and still hooked up to a respirator. I am relying on my father's updates, but seeing as he went 2 days without calling, I might need to switch informants. He has also openly admitting to being a bit more optimistic than anyone else there. She has a heart arrhythmia and I guess today they will try their last remaining option to treat that... if that doesn't work then they have exhausted their resources. I'm not entirely sure what that will mean but it doesn't sound good. So please keep her in your thoughts. I know she is exhausted physically and emotionally but I hope that if it is her time to pass that she is able to do it in comfort and in her own bed.

#2 My pain level is actually improving. While still there, I can tell a noticeable difference with certain hard to do movements (like... ahem... getting on and off the toilet) and I am much more encouraged than I was at the end of last week. I have been off the pain killers for 3 days and have been doing fine... they never did work that well to begin with. I will also say that my emotional state and outlook has improved 100% since going off of them... so I'm thinking it is possible they were bringing me down.

#3 I need to focus my efforts on getting help for the things that are making me feel most out of control. Sorry Renee but that means you may be helping me clear off my desk (it's always more fun to file someone else's papers...right?!). I just can't feel on top of our bills and finances functioning from the tops of piles. There is still a lot I cannot do around here but I need to get the house back up to functioning so that I can manage it on my own. Who knows how long it will be until I'm able to do everything... I can't leave the paperwork to stagnate any longer.

#4 The voting still continues. I can't help but get sucked into the SUPER close race for 4th. I mean it is really neck and neck. So keep voting. Please. You will have the opportunity to win your own reward for doing so.



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"So does this make you appreciate all I do around here?" Mrs F asks Mr F last night.

"Not really." Mr F replies

Mr & Mrs F then begin to laugh hysterically

"I already did." Mr F corrects himself.

"Yeah, right." Mrs F replies

"It does give me a new perspective on how crazy the kids are." He adds.

Well... that's something... I guess.

Who Me?!!

Last night I was looking at Baby with marvel, who has changed immeasurably as of late, and said...

"You're a little girl. You're a pretty girl."

Baby pointed at herself dramatically and said in her lilting voice...

"Meeeee?!" "Pity gurl?!" "Meeeee?!"

I'm not sure if she was more excited and surprised to find out that she was pretty or that she was a girl.

Do You Feel Lucky?

As I was perusing one of the magazines "local angel" Renee brought over for me (knowing my love of cheesy checkout mags) I came upon this list of GIVEAWAYS. Hot damn in the summertime some of these giveaways are pretty good. Some of these giveaways are one stop short of cash money... and Lord knows we need a little of that right now.

Sure sharing this link with you greatly reduces my shot of walking away with any of these amazing prizes... but hey that's the kind of gal I am. Trust me ladies and gents there are some serious giveaways worth taking the time to enter. Such as an LG refrigerator, a Sleep Number mattress, $500 gift card to Starbucks, $500 gas card... and more. Happy Sunday from me to you.

Even if you don't win any of those awesome prizes... if you've been voting everyday... there's still a shot at winning one from yours truly. You can enter your name for that giveaway here on Tuesday.

So don't forget to VOTE.

Parental Guidance

"The kids are watching a muted Trauma Life in the ER?!" Mrs F yells to Mr F after stumbling into the living room.

"Oh. It must have un-paused." Mr F replies unfazed.

Big V... little v.... What Begins With V?

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Hilarious Update:

"what begins with V? Vagina? I don't get it." My mom emails me.

"VOTE" I reply.

Someone obviously didn't read the labels.

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And completely unrelated to this post is the following video update (just in case you thought I might overdose on my pain meds after the last one):

Mrs F starts a survival plan...
which apparently relies heavily on Target frozen pizza.

The Post Wherein Mrs F Becomes Debbie McDowner

Up until now I have not really addressed the seriousness of my injury and the extent to which it affects my day to day life. It has now been 3 entire weeks since I fell on the ice and broke my tailbone. A silly little couple of vertebrae at the tip of your spine that it turns out are integral to every single movement you make... including sneezing and laughing.
Of course the pain of the first couple of days was unbearable and surprising but at that time I had hope. Hope that in a week I'd feel vastly improved. When the first week came and went I still clung to the idea that recovery was around the corner. Nope. While the pain has lessened the recovery is brutally slow and even 3 weeks later I am mostly unable to preform any of my daily activities.

I can shower but I cannot shave my legs.
I can put on my clothes... even pants with some pain... but not my socks.
I haven't left the house except to go to the ER and the doctor.
I can sort laundry and fold it but I can't carry a laundry basket or load or unload the machines.
I can't put clothes in or take them out of drawers.
I can't dress or undress the kids.
I can't change diapers.
I can cook but I can't get the pots or pans out of the cabinets.
I cannot play on the floor or read picture books to the kids because I can't sit next to them.
I can't go up or downstairs.
I can't sit or ride in a car.
I can't pick up anything that is lower than table height.
I shouldn't pick up Baby.
I can barely sleep since the pain is actually worse once the daily distractions are gone.

And these are the things I must do everyday ALL day now that my mom is gone when Mr F is at work.

It's getting hard to stay positive.

When I spend entire days letting Baby watch TV I feel like shit and like I'm failing to meet her needs. I haven't been to Kid's school in weeks or gotten up to get her ready and I'm starting to feel disconnected from her. I know that things will get better (hopefully). But as the days keeping piling up with little to no improvement it's beginning to wear on me. It's hard enough to put up with a constant grating pain but to do it while failing to meet the needs of my family is emotionally draining. I'm starting to feel pretty beaten down and it's getting much harder to envision things ever turning around. I want to say "this is too hard... I quit", but there is no quitting just another day that is maddeningly like the one before it.

I'm getting pretty scared and overwhelmed. I don't even know how to have a game plan for how to make it through my Monday - Friday. I have 2 more days and then it is game on... full time stay at home parent style. I need to be able to do everything I still can't do on Monday. It's hard not to be mad and frustrated that we're here and not at home in Michigan where I could have help and support on a daily basis... especially since moving here has not brought the economic improvements that it was supposed to.