Today The Fair... Tomorrow The Circus (believe it)

Progress

BEFORE:

AFTER 2 WEEKS (7 workouts):

BEFORE:

AFTER 2 WEEKS (7 workouts):



Difference? Yes... it's admittedly hard to see it in these pics. Plus, it's incredibly hard for me to get in the same position each time!!!! Either way, what did you expect?... It's only been two weeks. I know from experience that these photos are worth taking for the end compilation (do you remember that incredible shrinking woman Mr F put together for me last time?) But I am definitely less pudgy around the midsection. Definitely. It's easier to see in the straight ahead shot (I wore that headband just for you). It's enough that I'm motivated to keep going.

Chicken Shit

"How is it that one day you get married and put a ring on your finger, and the next you can get pregnant?" Kid asks.

"Yeah... hmm..." Mrs F stutters trying to buy some time.

"That is weird... no one really knows." She finishes, ashamed of herself, but also partly relieved.

File Under... We're Pretty Sure She's Straight

The other night, while we were snuggled up preparing to do our nightly reading, Kid turned and asked...

"How come the men on TV are always wearing wrap pants and have bare chests that are muscular, and oiled, with black hair?"

"Well, I guess they think we'll think that is sexy." I reply, taken back a bit by her very detailed observation.

"Oh, yeah, I totally do." Kid replies slowly with a lusty voice.

Update

more exciting breaking news...

Kid just got her classical guitar. Broody songs to come, I'm sure.

This Is What It Has Come To...

Current (soon to be BEFORE shots... God willing):


I've got a workout routine that I like. I've got a whole bunch of trash lined up on the TIVO.

Theoretically, nothing should stop me.

Hey, next thing you know I might start putting up meal plans...



(Please note: we did not decorate that bathroom)

Well Whatever It Was.... It Is Over.

We ended up canceling our weekend trip, just to be on the safe side.

Kid's medical history, which we had finally felt we were putting behind us, came rushing back full force.

It was definitely an unpleasant reminder.

The last time she woke up in the early morning hours behaving oddly, in a semi conscious state...

well...

she was foaming from the mouth an hour later.

So, around here, we don't mess around.

We can't.

The Weirdest Thing Happened

and it really unnerved me.

Late, late, last night, long after Mr F's office bbq.

Which in and of itself unnerved me.

As I said to Mr F...

"You don't even like to go to your own office parties... that's why you always force me to go."

Well, much later, Kid came to my door crying.

Then I proceeded to have the most disturbing, confusing, heartbreaking conversation with her.

It's hard to recreate.

She said weird things, but answered questions about them convincingly.

This went on for half an hour.

She made eye contact.

But she was saying things that were cryptic and strange.

Things I've never heard before.

It freaked me the fuck out, to be honest.

What is going on?

What is she trying to tell me?

Why is she being so evasive?

She kept interjected "never mind" and "I don't want to tell you, you'll get mad."

Those are every parent's worst fear.

You must find a way around those roadblocks.

But in the end, I couldn't.

And after a long while of tossing and turning, she finally went back to her room and went back to sleep.

I lay there, charged, electrified by the unknown.

What just happened?

I still don't know.

Was she in some kind of strange halfway lucid/halfway sleep mode?

Was she confusing dreams for reality?

Or was she really trying to tell me something?

Something an 8 year old doesn't have the right words for.

Crime And Punishment

At our house, I work pretty hard to set firm boundaries and appropriate
consequences.

Of course, I also thinking maintaining a strong sense of humor helps the medicine go down a little smoother.


It's why I felt that this...

(matching clothes and forced polly pocket play directed by Baby)

was an adequate punishment for bossing and intimidation.

I like to call this punishment "How Do You Like Them Apples?"

Because, sometimes you have to see how the other half lives in order to gain a little perspective.



It's also why I met Kid at her jail cell bedroom door the other night with this...

sometimes you need a nudge to help you rejoin population

with a smile...

and not the scowl that "time in the hole" can induce.

(trust me.. it was a stroke of genius... she laughed her ass off)

Haircut Day

BEFORES:


AFTERS:

Some people demand that there be "NO (noticeable) CHANGE!!!"

Others are more adventurous

Please Consider

making a donation to Doctors Without Borders.

They are on the ground in Kenya providing life saving medical attention AND desperately needed nutrition for Somali refugees.

One of the worst humanitarian crises of our generation is happening RIGHT NOW.

People are starving to death.

Mothers are carrying their children for a hundred miles along a treacherous path trying to get them to the refugee camps.

Many are not making it.

One $35 donation can provide 200 children with 2 high-energy meals per day.

Postcard from The Furious Clan

We've been traveling A LOT this summer. It's been nice to get out and visit with family... but, as you all know, it's also work.

And I spend my 5 or so days of turn around at home trying to recoup my energy for the next go round, taking the kids to swimming lessons (or drowning lessons if you are Baby), and doing laundry. Thankfully it's been so hot and miserable I've been able to scrap all gardening & yard work (which I had already scrapped... but now my neighbors are doing it, too and aren't judging me for it any longer).

P.S. I have found watching THIS on my laptop (or anything, really) while doing laundry allows me to get from stain treating all the way through putting things away without feeling bored and tortured. In fact it feels a little frivolous.

I think I'll probably get back to blogging with some kind of regularity when my life gets back to some kind of regularity. Late August-ish? Possibly.

Wondering about the 5 a day fruit veggie challenge? Still kicking ass. Amazing.


Wondering about the marriage plan? WAS still kicking ass. WAS amazing... then I went out of town all the time and Mr F stopped doing it. We're back on it starting today. Which I guess is diagnostic in and of itself. It did actually work.

Wondering about our $5/week giveaway to strangers? Never really worked the way I wanted. Kid and I are sponsoring a child through The Pearl S Buck Foundation.


We're also hoping to volunteer at the local food bank this Fall, one day a week, while Baby is at preschool.

Speaking of the Fall, I'm in the midst of hardcore curriculum planning. Which is both exciting and daunting.


But I'm mostly overwhelmed getting all of the kids schedules in order... there is a lot of stuff going down...

like Baby is starting *for real* dance... with costumes and all... get ready for that cute attack!


Plus.... preschool, horseback riding, swimming, Brownies (remember I'm now a leader & fucking cookie mom... sounded doable at the time...), Kid's elective school day, guitar lessons, and the Toldeo Zoo School. I'm already hyperventilating just thinking about how I'm going to manage all of that and get dinner ready... you know... it's a nightmare. I have one day a week where I will have to drive to Ann Arbor and back THREE TIMES. That's the way the cookie crumbles this year. (Hey, I heard there is going to be an electric RAV4... I'm holding out for that... much more family friendly).


Weight management? Um... I'm managing. I hate to even write about it... but then I think EVERYONE can relate to this on going battle I have with myself. I want to get back on it, it just (truthfully) is SO HARD when you have fallen off the wagon. I can get going but I just can't keep it going. I just keep restarting. At least I do keep restarting. I'm really struggling with what I really want from myself, and how much I'm willing to put into it. The usual. But the truth is I'm spending a lot of time hating on myself and I need to cut that out or stick with my program. Even knowing how easy it is to maintain a program once you get it really going... it is just so hard to get that ball rolling. Any little thing can derail you. And the truth is... it is very hard for me to make myself a priority... and with the kids getting older and having all of their activities... it just is that much harder to find a consistent time THAT WORKS FOR ME. It takes effort and when something is already hard to do... doing something that takes effort to fit in...well... sometimes (most times) that's all it takes to stall me again. I'm still trying. And I'm still hopeful I can get back on top of it. Last week I did two 75 minute workouts... and that felt great... and doable.. but then I went out of town again, and I feel like I'm back to square one. So for now... I'm trying to give it my all on the days I manage to find the time... hopefully that will add up to something. At least keep me maintaining, and maybe as things get more normal... it will even start to get me on the losing track. We'll see.

Things You've Missed

Butterfly Catching...

We'll Try Not To Let The Door Hit Us On The Way Out

Baby waiting for the babysitter to arrive.

Kid wrote the time down for her on that piece of paper, then Baby moved herself into position to watch the stove clock.

All Clear

Welp

If weight gain were a symptom of breast cancer, I'd have 3.

I guess I'm relieved, yet more than a little alarmed, that I wasn't just overreacting.

Went to the doctor this afternoon.

Mammogram is already scheduled...

for Friday.

Trying not to put the cart before the horse on this one.

But that is proving very difficult.

Luckily, Mr F has completely shut down.

On The Road Again

Mr F headed out to NYC yesterday early AM.

He's meeting up with his long time friend for the weekend.

(I'm a little bit jealous)

The girls and I are heading back Up North,

rather than sit here feeling left out.

We're going to chill out with The Cougar and my cousins for a couple of days.

(no drama this time)

Be back in a few.

I Guess The Real Hurt

is not the words that were said.

(although they were fucking crazy)

(or even who said them)

It is the heartbreak that

the feelings aren't mutual.

That while I don't always like what my brother has done,

or the way that he treats me,

I have never stop wishing for him to be happy.

For him to feel loved.

For him to feel better.

And the truth is...

that I was the only one approaching the relationship from that place.

It has never once occurred to him to be happy for my happiness...

his only drive has been to try and devalue it.

And in the end,

there is nothing more disappointing than that.

He's always been so caught up in his offensive

that he never noticed

I wasn't the one who was doing the attacking.

And after so many years of his emotional roller coaster

I just want to get off.

Happy 4th.... or was it?

"Did the good weigh out the bad?" Mr F asks on our drive home.

"Well... there was a lot of bad." I reply worn out from the negativity.

Family get togethers are a mixed bag...

and some years that mix leaves a bad taste in your mouth

and

a cold, cold heart in your chest.

That can barely contain

the lava of rage

that is brewing and stewing inside it.

I think this year we'll be spending Thanksgiving with Mickey Mouse.

He can't talk to your face...

let alone behind your back.

That's What I'm Talking About

"If there were ribbons for Most Hysterical Mom, you'd get #1!" Kid says

P.S. We're headed Up North for the 4th. See ya when we get back.