Leaving On A Jet Plane

I cannot believe the amount of packing that has had to go into such a short trip.

(even without the egg salad sandwiches and homemade grape juice)

Progress Report

March 25th:

February 25th:

January 25th:

Ruh Roh

I'm the only mom who has signed up to chaperone

the 5th grade sleep away Science Camp next month.

12 girls.  3 nights. One bunk room.

Hold me.

She's Makin' A List...

(You'll want to click on it to make it bigger)

Hold On To Your Hats

If you are not already in love with Baby,

After this, you should be.

Backstory:  Kid had a sleepover at a friend's house last night.  Sleepovers are pretty much always a recipe for disaster for our weekend. She has a REALLY hard time sleeping (I mean, I actually have to pack her a sleeping pill).  So when she came home this morning, I was expecting the worst.  She was in a strangely good mood.  (Like a drunk person)  When I found out she had 6 hours of sleep, I knew the shit would hit the fan at some point.  And at 6 PM it definitely did.

After awhile, I said to Baby, "She's pretty mad at me, what do you think I should do?"  And she said "Give her a present."  And I said "I don't have anything to give her."  And she said excitedly, "Don't worry, I do! I just need a small pink box!"

About 15 minutes later she had assembled the cutest box.

"It's perfect for girls her age."  Baby assured me.

What was in it?

Hmm...

an acne wipe in a plastic bag

and a panty liner

Oh my god, I wanted to laugh so hard.  I cannot even tell you.

But I was kind of scared of how it would be received,
considering Kid's mood.

In the end, I decided the pure good hearted adorableness of her creating 

a puberty emergency kit was too much for me to squash.

Then she ran out and came back and added this:

"Oh, that's a good idea because sometimes they crave chocolate."  I said.

"That's what I thought."  Baby replied sagely.

Then she wrapped it up and wrote a note:

"I wrote it in my best adult handwriting" She said,

 and handed it to me to give to Kid.

 Here she is confessing that she really put it together:

And I have to say, Baby was right.  This was the perfect gift.  

Even a grumpy sleep deprived hormonal preteen couldn't deny its charm.  

Afternoon Tea

So, despite not feeling 100%, I rallied and pulled this spread off 

for Baby's first school friend play date (at our house).  

 We do want them to come back, afterall...

Rest assured it went over very well.  

Food Poisoning...

Return to Sender

Hands down the best part of my day was opening up Baby's snack bag and finding this:

The Weather God Has Been Revlead

Tonight's main feature: The dreaded test review.

Which may or may not have included

both threats of bodily harm (did not) and tears (did).

But, as per the norm, the test stress really got my creative juices flowing,

absurdist rhyme style:



"Kris Krangle"
A nonsense verse, by  yours truly.
(Also soon to be its own Wikipedia page, as requested by Kid, outlining the mythology of this heretofore unknown weather god.)  

Little children let me take you by the hand,

As you wonder about the mysteries of this land.

Many teachers are as flighty as a feather

When they are teaching about the weather.

They may claim the Earth's tilt and the Sun's rays angle

But they've got the facts quite in a tangle.

The weather is not brought by tilt or angle, 

By jove, it is me, Sir Kris Krangle!

Just know that after about 20 minutes of hysterical laughing,

And the chanting of "It's not the tilt or angle, it is Kris Krangle!!"

The Earth's tilt and the angle of the Sun's rays affect on the weather

has been pretty firmly planted in her head.

Mission Accomplished.

Top O' The Mornin' To Ya'

Aw yeah... St Patrick's Day happened.

And while, Mr F & I are not beer drinkers,

We can throw back some serious Lucky Charms...

So, when it comes to a holiday centered around

a giant Family Sized box of sugar cereal

It is on like Donkey Kong!

 Partly, because I forgot to get a full selection of rainbow colored streamers... and had to use last years scraps... we went for a different approach from last year.  Basically the Leprechauns tossed the joint leaving rolos, green balloons, and their hats in their wake.  

This was a pretty low stress holiday prep...

Knock over the furniture and sprinkle balloons 

and chocolate on the floor.  

Even a drunk person could do it.

 The remnants of streamers were just enough to drop out of the ceiling as the "end of the rainbow" and into the pot of rolos gold.  

 The Leprechauns also worked some crazy mischievous magic on the dining room chairs (because I had green masking tape and an entire package of green balloons (why?!) in the craft closet.

They also messed with the dish towels to show that real Leprechauns are doing this stuff... right?... why would we mess up our own dish towels?  (They totally fell for it... what are they?! Children?!!)

 

Dyed the milk green.  We've been doing this long enough to have learned the hard lesson that Kid will not drink milk that has been suspiciously tempered with (actually, a positive now that I think about it... hmm... what does that say about Baby?!) So we've been working two gallons.  Pulling the old dramatic "Ha Ha, we tricked those Leprechauns... they didn't even see our secret 2nd gallon!" when I open the fridge (again, the kids totally buy into it.... this is why you really should warn your kids about strangers with bags of candy or lost puppies... geez... they will fall for ANYTHING.)

 Oh, if you are wondering about the candle... that is a piece of our birthday ring.  I love that thing, and use it for pretty much every holiday imaginable.

 She's not afraid of drinking tainted milk or wearing mismatched quadruple green.  She also ate a rolo before she sat at the table for breakfast. When I caught her, I said "Who said you could have that?"  And she said "No one said I could; no one said I couldn't." Okay, then.  Case Dismissed.

 Please note that Baby still has to get all geared up like that for school.  Single digits, people.  

But check out that sunrise... not too shabby.  

It's too bad my eye balls were freezing into ice cubes while I was standing there.

And with that, I bid you goodnight.

Although, I suspect the party's just starting for a lot of you.

Happy St. Patty's Day!

Success

The Furious clan had a super successful weekend, all around.

Nothing particularly amazing happened, but it was the perfect combination of productivity and relaxation.

But even better than that, is that after a fairly long plateau weight-loss wise I dropped 2 pounds this week.  I'm now in the final zone.  I've broken through a barrier.

I even bought white shorts:

Which is, well, an unprecedented move on my part.
And, bonus, they didn't look terrible.

Which made me think, I should try on the Mexican wedding (guest!!) dress again...

And Mr F was like, "It kind of looks weird on top, do you have a push-up bra?"

Well, I don't know if I've been clear with all of you, all these years, but I specialize in the self maintenance efforts of a 9 year old boy.  Really.  I wore the same EXACT outfit last week for 5/7 days (I did wash it a few times, to be clear). But if it ain't broke, why fix it?  That's what I always say.

Speaking of which, one day Mr F came home and (because he's trying to improve himself and subsequently our marriage) he threw out a compliment.

It went like this:

"You look really good in that outfit."

And I said:

"Then you are in luck, because I'll be looking this good again tomorrow."

And then we laughed.

So, yeah, long story short, I don't have a push-up bra.

I should also say, that when I tried the dress on with the bejeweled gladiator sandals I bought for the wedding, Mr F said:

"Did you bring those home as a joke?"

And, people, he was completely serious.

Um, no, I didn't buy shoes and bring them home to try on as a joke.  WTF?

Thanks, though...

(obviously he needs to get back to his self improvement efforts...)

Where is this story going?!

Okay.  The reality is the dress is too big in the boobs.  Fact.  It always was a little, but it is clearly too big, now.  Do I want to pay $45 to tailor a $100 dress I ordered on Zappos?!  I do not.

So I thought, you know, you'll probably be extremely disappointed but maybe today is the day to try on the special dream dress I was given 8 years ago & then never fit into after having kids until one fateful day at my very best of weights when I tried it on and it fit in 2008:

And I felt amazing!!  I was so proud of myself.

But I never had anywhere to wear it.

And then I got fatter... boo.

So, I was a little scared to try,

seeing as I'm still about 8 pounds away from that weight

But, with some Herculean strength

Mr F zipped that baby up:

And, Mexico, here I come!

Two Year Anniversary

of anEF3 tornado tearing right over our house.

Yeah, that was a bad day.

Things That Make You Go Hmmm

The New York Times has been suggesting I read an article all week:

Reaching My Autistic Son Through Disney

Something about the title had been putting me off.

But tonight I finally read it.

And it was a LOT more interesting than the title had led me to believe.

It offers some really fascinating insight into the mind of one autistic boy.

(and maybe many)

Definitely worth reading.

A Day In The Life (always riveting...)

I read a lot of crazy articles and blog posts today.

I thought about buying some French sneakers.

Blogs will do that to you.

But then you realize they are really just basic slip on sneakers

like you can find hanging on the big peg board shoe wall at Target.

And because you are super cheap.

You decide that if you can get them at Target...

they are already over being cutting edge

and you might as well not even buy them.

French or not.

You know?

I also read a lot about living in the Congo.

And helicopter parenting.

Why Finland is on the cutting edge of education.

(and if it really applies)

I read an article likening the educational philosophy and opportunity
(and scores) to US private schools.

I guess that does resonate with me,

having both been to private schools (and public)
and sent my children to both, as well.

I'm currently watching THIS documentary...

And I'm taken with how much Baby's charter school is pretty much
a dead ringer for the Finnish educational system.

(although admittedly I'm only 10 minutes in...)

Small class size, small school, staying with your teacher for multiple years, integrated science & art, highly trained and specialized teachers (they all have graduate degrees), teacher developed curriculum (which, yes, does meet Common Core standards).  Community focus.  The whole Finnish gamut is pretty much represented there.

I don't know about you all,
but I find educational theory to be very interesting.

And outside of the whole Finnish comparison,

I've been feeling pretty good about the school (and getting Kid in there, too)

after I realized that about 25% of the parents are education professors.

That's a pretty good vote of confidence.

Another 25% are chefs.

I'm not sure what that says.

Or why, considering that fact, I was the one who made the bread?

Anyway:

French sneakers

Helicopter parents

Living in the Congo

the story of Finland

Finnish education

A bathing suit I would buy... too bad it's a million dollars.  I'll go see if they have something similar at Target ;)

Geez I was online a lot today.  You know what I wasn't doing?

Cleaning.

But I always say it's better to have an interesting mind than a clean house.

Plus, I cleaned the toilets yesterday.

So we're  good.

I did still workout, pay bills, drive 10 miles per hour during our 2 4 hours of commute due to incredibly bad roads, make breakfast, lunch, dinner & muffins.  Go to Target to buy post game snacks for the basketball team & tank tops for me ($5 sale!), do yet another load of laundry, check homework, and divert Kid's exhaustion induced breakdown into an hour long Wii sword battle... So that's something.  Right?

The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of

We had another Snow Day today.

I was counting on it, so I let Kid stay up pretty late watching the Bachelor finale with me

& didn't even bother setting our alarms.

You've got live on the edge like that, people.

So today I was able to read all of the Parenting Around the World posts I linked to yesterday.

Fascinating, my friends.

Fascinating.

I was telling everyone about it at dinner and I said...

"Basically they're just about people like us, that are always thinking of moving somewhere crazy..."

"But they actually DO it." Kid interjected, sarcastically.

Yep.  That.

One of these days... you never know.

Also, when I was making lunch and talking about some hypothetical future life,

Kid interrupted to ask....

"How come your plans for the future never have Dad in them?"

Bwahahaha.

It is so true.

If only because that would make my dreams

have to factor in realities like replacement jobs...

and that is a real buzz kill when you are dreaming.

But also because of his Adult ADD.

This Really Is The Most Dramatic Final Rose Ceremony!

Signs of Spring

I hate the time change.  I think I've mentioned that once or twice (or 100 times) here on the blog.  I mean I HATE IT.  It is the absolute worst.  All of the adjustment of jet lag without any of the positives of international travel.

I've been barely functioning all day... feeling like I was shot with a tranquilizer dart intended for a big game animal.  I was practically falling asleep on my drive home from morning drop off.  SERIOUSLY.  So, yes, I went back to bed for a bit... but it didn't matter.  Getting up in the dark to drop my kids off at school in the dark... after a taste of the freedom of morning light?!?!  What a cruel thing to do to people.  Just make Daylight Savings Time permanent.  Stop jerking me around.

Okay, now that I have that off my chest...

After stumbling through my days activities, I walked into Baby's school & went to pack up her stuff in her locker and I discovered her coat & gloves & snow pants were completely SATURATED with water.  Not a little bit wet... like literally dripping wet.  What the?!  It was like my brain exploded, I could not figure out what was going on.  I was standing there thinking... "How am I even going to get her out to the car?"... when I picked up her boots... and  PEOPLE!...  they were as wet as possible... I was actually astonished that they could hold that much water.  They weighed pounds a piece. To add to the mayhem of the situation they don't wear shoes at their school (of course they don't...), just slippers.  Good grief!  I did get her to the car (in her slippers) hopping around puddles and melting icebergs... and then I drove to swimming lessons thinking about how I am going to have to come up with a serious set of rain gear to handle Spring recess at this school.  I need the equivalent of the Finnish snowsuit in Irish fisherman gear.  I was not annoyed at all (which is an interesting development regarding my acceptance of certain things outside of my control)... just unprepared and flabbergasted (turns out there was a 18" puddle)... Baby is an outdoor kid & I want her OUTDOORS.  I just need to step up our gear.  What I save in tuition I will clearly be spending on outer wear.  (Give me your links if you've got them.  I know the Swedes are known for their kids rain gear... but I just went through all that and would love a US source if possible!)

So, yeah, that was pretty much my day.

Except... when we pulled in from swimming, our neighbor who runs the daycare was outside with the kids, and Baby hasn't seen them all winter (because it has literally been too cold for her to take them out!) so even though everything she has was wet I said yes.  We ran in and got a spare coat and her rain boots (which I was planning to send to school with her tomorrow) and I reminded her that she didn't have snow pants & not to go in the snow.  20 minutes later she came in hollering for me... she had... gone in the snow... and the rain boots were completely packed up to the tops with snow.  Her legs & socks (and boots) were soaking wet and she was of course freezing cold and in pain.  That maniac, I keep trying to instill a real fear of frostbite... but it is clearly not sinking in.  Now, I'm trying to dry out two pairs of boots, two coats, snow pants & mittens before tomorrow.

So, yeah, that was pretty much my day.

That and 4 loads of laundry.

And discovering this awesome blog LINK... which I'm very much looking forward to reading... it is right up my alley. (and here is the link to the entire parenting around the world series)

Oh my god... it is already 10:30!

goodnight

Baby Shower: The Gift

Once upon a time I went to a baby shower 

where someone received a baby gift of baby clothes hung up on a little clothesline.  

And I always remembered it.

So, for my sister's shower this weekend I did my best to recreate it:

This is definitely a gift "experience" so it's perfect for a shower.

I got a plastic basket and some roping & clothespins at the dollar store:

 I tied the roping to the basket handle then strung all the clothes up on the line.

 I made a loop at the end of the line and neatly piled all the clothes back into the basket 

with the loop on top of the pile.

How cute are those little maryjane socks?!... 

they didn't have those when my girls were little!

Then I stuffed the basket with tissue paper to disguise the contents 

and tied it up in cellophane:

 Super cute.  

I would 100% do this again.

The hardest part was finding a "clothes" basket
that wasn't humongous!

(I might actually go buy a couple more of these because they are perfect!)

I also like that this is a somewhat interactive gift.

The girls had a lot of fun stretching it out for my sister at the shower.

But heads up that it gets pricey really fast.  

Baby clothes are small... so... it takes a lot to pull off a full clothesline.  

If you want to keep the price down I'd suggest interspersing
receiving blankets or burp cloths.  

The other potential negative,
is that I had to take the tags off a lot of the clothes 

(most are sold in sets or bundles) and so they can't be returned. 

I decided it was worth the risk
because I was so committed to pulling it off.

(P.S. My friend has since suggested buying baby things from a resale shop for this, since you need to cut off the tags anyway... good idea!  Plus, you can usually find tons of never worn baby items)

Here's a picture of Baby participating in the diaper changing contest:

Guess who won?

Mr F!

This Week In Pictures

#1

Baby made a boat out of apple and said:

"Put this on Facebook and say:

'People say you shouldn't play with food, but actually it is really fun!'"

 I declined to impart those words of wisdom on Facebook and saved it all for you.

You are welcome.

#2

In other riveting Furious family developments, Big Boy has claimed another baby:

 The girls are going to be pissed when they find out he stole their Care Bear.

#3

Big Boy & I watched the Women Tell All episode of The Bachelor:

 (mostly Big Boy, he weirdly LOVES watching things on the computer or iPad)

Interestingly, Mr F came home that night, 

and I revealed I'd watched the episode

and he shouted out 

"Noooooo!"

I was a little surprised, 

because he always acts like he is doing me a favor when he watches.

But, this isn't the first time he's become invested in The Bachelor.

#4

Kid's class hosted Chapel with a little play this week:

She was super nervous about using the microphone.  

In the end she is the only one who managed to pull off a normal moderated volume.  

#5

 I made a big batch of meatballs:

I'm still more or less following a weekly menu & stocking up my freezer with double/triple batches.

It has made basketball nights totally doable.

#6

 I witnessed the cutest moment in Baby's classroom the other morning, 

when a younger classmate came up and asked Baby if she'd read this book to her:

 I'm so glad I was there for that.  Baby is such a sweet girl and is always helping the Kindergartners in their K/1 class.  There isn't a morning that goes by that a classmate doesn't come ask her to draw a certain thing, or cut something out for them, or show them how to write their name in cursive. And she always puts down what she is doing and cheerfully helps them out.  

#7

Twice this week I've had to stop my workout to get a snack.  Weird.  

#8

 I got these cute dresses for the girls to wear to the Rehearsal dinner in Mexico:

 and this dress for Kid, which she is 100% in love with:

 "Wait, I look like that?"  She said when she saw the picture.  

"Yep, are you surprised you look like a teenager?"  I asked.

"Yeah."  She replied.  Me, too.

#9

And, lastly, I've been on a serious kick with this pizza.  I'm making it twice a week.  Everybody freaking loves it. 

It is THIS recipe.

Constructive Criticism

I've been trying to flush out our travel wardrobes for our trip to Mexico at the end of the month.

My bathing suit is old, so I had ordered this one on sale:

not sure... but it was $20 total...so cheapness for the win... 

plus the white makes me look less white in comparison... win-win...

and the flying child distracts you from my mid-section... win-win-win

But anyway,

I was at Cost Plus World Market exchanging curtains when I found what I believed would be the perfect beach cover-up:

(pull out the magnifying glass, peeps)

And I was like... how can that not be fabulous?

It made me feel like I was going to Mexico.

(and I am)  

So, I bought it and brought it home.

I put it on and walked right out into my living room full of critics 

(not having seen myself first)

I was pretty confident that it looked as good as it felt.

Mr F immediately shouted out "Negatory!"

Which was a little harsh, and I was kind of in disbelief.

I mean, it is a cover-up, not an Oscar's dress.

"It feels like I'm light & breezy & drinking a Margarita." I countered, 

hoping if they could understand the motivations of my beach character they'd see the positives.

"No, it feels like you are some strange bird in a weird play."
Kid clarified.

"It is some kind of special horrible, I can't even describe."  Mr F added.

"It is like you are a flying squirrel.
It doesn't even say 'clothes'."  He continued.

At that point I decided to look for myself:

And it was everything they said.  

I couldn't even believe something that felt so 100% awesome on

could be so outrageously unflattering.

I might as well be 8 months pregnant in that.

What the HECK?!

"What if I wore it as a shirt without the bathing suit underneath?"
I asked, 

desperate to keep the Mexican beach dream alive.

"No!"  They shouted in unison.