We're Going To Disney!!!

I'm so excited! We are going for Thanksgiving. Which kills two birds with one stone (vacation for us... avoiding interpersonal conflict at the family get together for me)

We've been debating this trip for the past year... Mr F's work schedule is so deadline intensive that managing a full week when he can be out of the office.... has been impossible. I think the girls had kind of given up hope at this point. But, they are the perfect ages... Baby still believes in the characters but is finally tall enough to ride the real rides, and Kid is old enough to enjoy the roller coasters but is still willing to go on the little kid rides and wait in line for autographs. So going now will mean we don't have to split up and spend our family vacation in two separate ride lines the whole time! Plus, (serious bonus) Baby is still small enough to pass for a 3 year old... so... guess who doesn't need a park admissions?! (I think God will forgive us) That shaves $300 off our trip... and next year... I don't think we'd be able to pull that off.

I just booked our hotel... and we're... (gulp)... going to drive. Mr F's work benefit is the free car & gas, so we just couldn't get around it when trying to make this trip affordable. Driving for two straight days there and back?! Yeah, I'm not really looking forward to it, but at this point, there is no denying we are a long haul driving kind of family and the kids are used to it. So, we'll make it through. Plus, it saves us the $1200+++ to fly.

We're going back to the same off-site hotel we stayed at a couple years back. It's an all suites hotel, with free parking, really nice pools (including kiddie pool, water slide, and life guard), and it's close to WDW. In fact we found we got to the parks faster driving then we did staying on-site and taking Disney transportation. We're staying at the Caribe Royale, and we totally recommend it. The rooms are massive compared to on-site, and I'd say it's at least as nice as the deluxe level Disney resorts, yet, you can get a one bedroom suite for less than $100/night. We got a corporate deal, but you can easily find reduced rates for this resort, just keep your eyes open. We were shocked at how nice it was, and what you could get for the price, compared with the Disney resorts... however... you need a car to make staying here worthwhile.

We are extremely excited to be going back. We are so happy that Mr F could take the time off, and that we'll have 9 days together just relaxing (well Disney's not exactly relaxing...) and having fun. I can't remember the last time (ever?!) that Mr F took this long of a vacation with us. I think it'll be a great time for the kids.

FYI, So far the trip is running us about $1650 (hotel, WDW parking at parks, WDW admission for 6 days w/ park hopper). Food and motels for our drive & food at the park is not included... I can't remember what we spent last time, but I think we did our food for $400 the whole trip... I'll keep our receipts and let you know. In comparison our WDW hotel quotes had us (even at a moderate resort ... which sucks compared to where we'll be) at around $3000 for this length of stay.

This Doesn't Happen Very Often Anymore

Things around here have been FULL.

Everything is going surprisingly well, but we are definitely walking the edge of "how busy is too busy?".

Homeschooling, of course, takes a pretty big chunk of my day... and at different times either requires my computer or my actual presence... so... there goes blogging.

I really miss it, and would like to find a way to get the time back in the morning when I usually have the right frame of mind for writing.

Unfortunately, for me, that is also when Kid has theoright frame of mind for math... and she does that on my computer. So that takes precedence. (But I may be really hoping Santa brings her a really cheap computer of her own... if Santa could get over everything having to be a Mac... since Santa cannot afford another Mac...)

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The schooling is going EXTREMELY well. I'm super organized and we definitely have a strong "school" day this year, without it being extremely regimented. Which means, I have a schedule with all the days lessons and assignments and we work through them and check them off... the order and the time we do them is flexible. Which is good because 2 days a week Baby has preschool and that requires picking up and dropping off, one day she has dance, one day she has library storytime, one day Kid has Brownies, and one day she has horseback riding, and another day she's gone all day at her electives program. Plus, we seem to have a field trip or special class 2-3 times a month (and this month an extraordinary amount of doctor's visits). Our school day takes about 4 solid hours, sometimes we can get that all done before our afternoon activities (my preference), but other times it has to be worked around we might have a subject or two to finish before dinner. And I'm trying not to be too rigid about the lesson plans... Kid has had a couple of freak-outs during handwriting and journaling, and we've been able to use those as good therapeutic exercises. We're trying to work through the frustration she can have (the OCD perfection drive), take a time-out, speak up about it before it's too late, and walk away.... not lose control scribble so hard all over your work that you rip through the pages and ruin your finished work from last week. So we're working on recognizing the feeling and acting on that, putting the assignment away and coming back to it (today or another day) when she feels she can finish it. Not feeling badly about herself if something is triggering her, just accepting it in a non-judgemental way, setting the work aside and coming back to it later. We've had 3 weeks of handwriting assignments that went perfectly, then this week one letter just pushed her over the edge... I just erased the handwriting lesson plans I had scheduled and we kept working a little (very little) bit at a time on the one hard letter and until 3 days later she'd finished it. I'm trying to teach her that it is OK to say "I can't handle this right now" as long as we don't give up, and keep trying until we can finish it. This is hard work for her (and me), but it is the work we need to do. Some things are harder for her, but they are not impossible. It's been extremely rewarding for her, it has helped remove the guilt and shameful feelings she'd have when she'd ruin a project or feel that something was just too hard for her. She's learning that she has some harder days and that she can still succeed if she works around them... not necessarily through them.

Having said how well things are going, it is no surprise that I am contemplating changing them! We've decided to try and get both kids into a charter school next Fall. I think that will be best for Baby at this point, and it is K-8 so if she gets in Kid will have an in for the next opening at her grade level. (There are not a lot of openings since there is only one class per grade... and it's a lottery) If we get in next Fall I think we'll try it. If it works for both... great. If not, we'll know (and more importantly Kid will know) exactly what we're choosing with the homeschooling, and we'll feel like we have exhausted our free options. If Baby gets in and there are not any spots for Kid, we'll keep homeschooling Kid until one opens up for her (extremely likely in the next couple of years). If neither kid gets in?... shoot... Kid will homeschool next year and I'm not sure what I'll do with Baby. Then we'll just keep applying until we get in.

I think homeschooling is an excellent option, better in many regards, but the bottom line is that Kid really likes school, being around kids, and having an easier time socialzing (her shyness and anxiety can make it very hard for her to make friends when she doesn't see them everyday)... and there is value in that experience. If we can find a school that can work for her academically and provide her with a positive social experience, we're all for it. If not, we'll move forward with homeschooling (which has many positive attributes that school can't provide). At this time we feel we need to exhaust our options before we commit to this as a permanent solution. A small school that Baby & Kid both attend, would be awesome.

Of course, then I'd have to get a job...

But that is part of it too, for us. We aren't living off a ton of income, things are doable, but they take careful planning. The curriculum and extra curriculars we're doing cost us several thousand dollars a year... and the kids are just 4 & 8. I feel they are imperative to round out the homeschooling experience, and would likely only get more expensive as they got older. Mr F is already in his mid-forties and we're not expecting him to make that much more money in the future.... such is the lot of his industry. So, living off one income wasn't ever our long term plan. And it's not a plan I just want to blindly sign up for... it really needs to be a necessity, in order for us to try and swing it.

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I'm still working out like a fiend. I keep forgetting at the right week & day to take the progress picture... I'll try to do it next week. I'm starting to get back to food journalling this week... I would like to speed up the weight loss at this point. While I am in much better shape, I'm not dropping pounds the way I'd hoped, through the exercise alone. Time to step it up.

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I'm totally back into a stocked pantry & freezer and the meals are mostly planned. I may get back to posting that soon. Feeling really good and in control on that front.

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Migraines are back full force. Two this week.

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Getting Meek's Cutoff in the mail today from Netflix... SO EXCITED. I mean... SO FREAKING EXCITED.

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Organizing the kids activities so that we have no evening activities (except Brownies every two weeks), has made my life so much better. I have time to prepare and sit down to eat a good dinner every night again, and I also have time to workout at night again. It also just makes our family life less stressful, allows Mr F to spend more time with the kids, and overall just feels better. Bedtime is less stressful and rushed, dinner time is less stressful and rushed, and I have time for myself. This is what went wrong last year, and while it makes my days a bit more hectic, it's manageable and being done at 5 is worth it.

Let's Just Say We Won't Be Going Back...

"Girls with ears?! Okay, you are a huge dork... but... a man... A MAN... a man with a tail?! I want to bludgeon you with your lance." Mr F recaps.

"I thought this was a Robin Hood festival, but really it was a pirate festival." Baby recaps.

It was basically like a Furry convention exploded into a Dungeons and Dragons convention which exploded into a casting call for a bad (really bad) pirate movie.

It was terrible, and that doesn't even count that it was cold and raining and that we actually PAID to go.

There was nothing Renaissance about it. I'm actually pretty pissed that they have schools come up for a learning experience.

None of it... none of it... not the pirates, the elfs, the fairies, OR THE FACT THAT IT WAS SET IN THE WRONG TIME PERIOD AND PLACE... had anything to do with the Renaissance.

And while it's true, we aren't really dressing up people, I can totally get into and respect some decent reenactment stuff.

This was just some people taking themselves a little too seriously at a bad Halloween party.

The fact that they had it ALL WRONG... and yet still had an annoying over the top smugness about them... made it all the more embarrassing to behold.

As I was trying to check out if this is just a bad Renaissance Festival or par for the course, I stumbled on this article...

"Will The Real Renaissance Please Stand Up"

and laughed my ass off through it. It was like he had attended the same fair (minus all the cool stuff he saw in the last paragraph of his article). So apparently, our experience was just par for the course.

1st Day of School... Baby Edition

Remember THIS...

Well, time flies. Here we are three years later and it's Baby's turn to head out into the big world (without me... sniff, sniff)...



(bonus cute factor... she's wearing the same outfit Kid wore for her 1st day of preschool)
(waiting for the door to open!)

(trying to sneak a peek)

(getting down to business)

(unfortunately, she was supposed to go to circle time... listening... as they'll soon find out... is not her strong suit)

So...

Am I only the only one who can't understand how to use Facebook? I just don't get it. I saw that my grandmother has a page now... and I was like... "come on!?!" how can I still be this confused. For whatever reason I just don't find it to be intuitive enough. I just can't figure out how to get my actual friends updates... my home page has those status updates but they don't ever include the people I'd actually like to see the updates of. Does anyone know what I mean? There is only like a handful of people's updates on there. I've tried again and again but for whatever reason I can't get everyone's updates on there. Mr F said you can chose who you want to include in that... but... again this is just too complex for my online time frame. Hence, I've never pursued friending anyone. Facebook makes me feel like an idiot. The only way I know to get everyone's updates is to click on each friend individually... which... I just am never going to have an entire day to do. How do you get people's updates to show up on your home page???!! There are only like 5 people that routinely come up on mine... this whole time... like 5 freaking years... I have just assumed that everyone else just never updated (like me) and that's why their updates weren't displaying there. Apparently that has not been the case.

Inquiring Minds Want To Know

"I'm just wondering, but why do you and Dad sometimes say 'What the fuck'"? Kid asks before dinner

(definitely trying to draw attention away from her unfinished school work on the table)

"Well... it means 'I can't believe that just happened?'" Mrs F says after a good chuckle.

"And I don't say that very often... Dad does." Mrs F clarifies.

"True." Kid says.






P.S. I'm not lying, I prefer "frick-frack-paddywhack" when I'm with the kids, or "shiitake mushrooms". Yep. I'm all kinds of badass.

Where To Start...

Homeschooling is going GREAT. Great. I am feeling so much better, and more confident, about it as we enter into the new year. In part, I think it just feels more normal, and I don't spend quite so much time thinking about it, or worrying about what other people think. Also I've had some practice and have come up with a better system time-wise. As in, not trying to cram a 36 week curriculum into 23 weeks, because I'm a psychotic perfectionist that can't handle starting a 36 week curriculum and not finishing it... even if my child has already attended 3 months of another school. So, there's that. 36 weeks in 36 weeks is a lot more manageable ;)

For those that are interested we are using...

Sonlight Core D for our history, geography & literature
Sonlight is a Christian company, but it is easily (and often) secularized. The Bible study is a separate add on to the main year's Core, and so is easily left out (bonus, it's cheaper w/o it). The rest of the religious tie-ins are mostly teaching points included in the study guide part of the lesson planner... we just skip those points. Last year, there were a few books that had a point of view we weren't comfortable, but this year there aren't any we feel we need to skip. So overall, even from a strictly secular standpoint, Sonlight's benefits far outweigh their religious content, to me. They have a strong literature (last year our books were mostly Newberry award winners) and history base, which really appeals to Kid (and me!). There wasn't a single reading selection she didn't love. Also, not to be looked over, they have detailed lesson plans, so you just open to your day and everything is written out and planned for you. Including reading comprehension questions, discussion prompts, and tie in project ideas. This year I am actually following their assignment schedule, which is a very doable amount per subject, per day.

Sonlight also sells curriculum components from other publishers for math, handwriting, foreign language... all the most highly regarded curriculums available for their subjects. In addition, Sonlight has their own Science curriculum... but... that appears to be harder to secularize as the grades go up... so it isn't a good choice for us.

Easy Grammar for, you guessed it... grammar. This is our first year with this curriculum... and... we LOVE it. Very easy to use.

Handwriting Without Tears for cursive handwriting. Kid has been using this curriculum throughout all of her schools, so we've been sticking with it. And, if I do say so myself... she has excellent handwriting. I bought the preschool curriculum for Baby, too.

Teaching Textbooks for math. We started this toward the end of the year last year. Kid loves it (love might be a strong word..). I love that it is a completely independent learning program. The program is on CD-rom and teaches a lesson followed by practice questions than the lesson questions. You have to option to have every question gone over and the answer explained after you've answered... a great way to learn what you did wrong... or make sure you understand why you were right. It has quizzes, timed tests, and all that jazz automatically built in. The grade book allows you to check each question they got right or wrong and to erase them so they can be done over, if necessary. Kid being a perfectionist... this is KEY for us. Most importantly, it's just much more fun than a practice book or workbook. It's interactive, has enjoyable graphics... and it's taught by someone else... so no attitude for me! Win-Win. Plus... it goes all the way up to pre-calc... so... if you are in it for the long haul (or just want to supplement with something at home) this is a great program to work your way through. I'm in love with it. I want to marry the guys that came up with this. Seriously.

Science is a bit of a mish-mash this year. We have 13 weeks of the Sonlight Science curriculum we bought last year left. That's 65 lessons (with science experiments & necessary equipment all ready paid for) we're going to space those out 2 a week, and expand on the topics with additional reading, projects and experiments. In addition we're taking a Nature Study homeschool class through the Metro Park once a month, and the Toledo Zoo homeschool class once a month. I call that done. Next year we're going to use Real Science-4-Kids... I think it looks great.

Spelling... ah the dreaded spelling!!!!... you may recall that this was one of her biggest OCD anxiety triggers at school last year. This is one area where you are definitively right or wrong... that is a tremendous amount of stress on her and she starts to second guess herself and just fall apart. When I took her out of school last year I initially tried to include spelling in our lessons but it just resulted in major fights and breakdowns... so we decided to take a break and try again this year. We're back to using last year's Spectrum workbook. We're doing it... but I actually think the stress it causes results in here forgetting how to spell basic words she actually normally can... not sure spelling is this important at this point. Since it is a testing oriented subject (the only one we have really) the stress is inherent. Still trying to think of a better way... or just not worry about it this year.

Writing... we're using a writing prompts site I found online somewhere. She has a day where we brainstorm and she writes out her rough day, a day to work on revision (this ties in very nicely with our grammar program), and a day to work on her final draft. Writing is another area that can be stressful for Kid. Last year we focused on letter writing. This year we're focusing on short essays ("the best food I ever ate was..." "if I was an animal..." "If I could fly I'd...", etc.). Using the prompts helps take some of the pressure off.

Is that everything?! Kid is also taking Art, Drama, Gymnastics & Classical Guitar at a homeschooling electives program all day Thursday.

Kid also reads books of her choice all the time. Typically going through a book a day... I'm keeping a comprehensive log, for no reason other than it is amazing how many books she reads a week, and it helps me to keep track of what to look for at the library. She has just started on an old school Nancy Drew jag... which has now, after several nightmares, been ruled a daytime read ONLY! So at night this week she's started the Wizard of Oz series. She reads a good 4-5 hours a day. Weekends? 10+.
You may recall that her public school teacher had her placed in the pre-primer reading group... yeah... that's why we're homeschooling, peeps. That and the fact that they didn't think she could count by twos. Test anxiety is real, thank you very much.

Plus, when you're at home your science experiments might upon occasion look like Guantanamo outtakes...


and that's your business.


P.S. I am having SERIOUS computer problems... jumping cursor... random highlighting & deleting... it took me hours to write this, rewrite it, fix, try and undo edit it, find the new weird word combos it had inserted by moving the cursor... a freaking nightmare!!!! So, hence my more sporadic blogging and lack of comment returning. I'm sorry. Not sure how to fix it right now, though.

All Clear

We went to the hospital for Baby's cardiology appointment. She packed her new preschool backpack full of everything she could possibly stuff in there... just in case.

Which was smart, since she was able to wait for her tests in relative comfort.

(FYI Mr F was crying in this pic)

She was a total trooper. As always.

It really highlights the differences between Kid and Baby.

Kid has had an unfortunate amount of medical issues, but even the most basic appointment is really hard on her.

Baby just does what needs to be done.

And WHOA does that make it so much easier to get through.

(although I guess not on Mr F... )

Before the appointment she asked if she would have to get shots.

I explained to her that they would just listen to her and take some pictures.

"Oh good, I don't think I could be brave as a knight for THREE shots!" she said.

She's so cute.

And thankfully she's also perfectly healthy.

She does have two different murmurs, yes TWO, but they are both innocent and are in no way a health concern.

Yeah!

I even let her get one of those nasty Monster High dolls she's been begging me for in congratulations.

I already regret it.

It's really, really creepy.

Weekend Update

Mr F spent every day of this long weekend either at work or taking what was a two brick repair into a full fledge 3 day project...
(let's call this Hyperfocus Exhibit A)

Since Mr F was preoccupied all day anyway, I decided to bump up our 1st day of school and started on Sunday...


Kid was thrilled. Getting back to the grind proved to be a bit of a rude awakening after 3 months off. There was some blowback. Thankfully our 2nd day (today) went off without a hitch.

Baby actually was thrilled, since I bought her some workbooks of her own. She starts at the community preschool in two weeks... she already has her backpack packed.

Favorite picture of the weekend...

Baby's "Chicago" street scene set up. I just loved this.

Least favorite picture of the weekend...
We did manage to pull Mr F away for a couple of hours to visit the zoo with us on Monday. Here is Kid actually crying about the animal she ended up with on the carousel... for real, and yes, I expressed my displeasure (then fixed it for her... don't worry). But this also happens to be the exact same face she was giving me all through our first day of homeschooling... in case you needed help envisioning it. It was a pleasure.

OH and good news... I called the cardiologist today to check for cancelations and got our appointment bumped up to TOMORROW. Whew. I really couldn't imagine waiting another 3 weeks for answers (especially since I'm now getting up every couple of hours to make sure she's still alive in her bed).

10 Years

This one actually feels monumental.

Last year came and went... and I don't think we even exchanged cards.

Like the other time we bought cards but left them in their bags to be found, later, unsigned.

Things had been so busy with moving and school starting.

New life.

Again.

And so this year seemed big.

Driving down the flat highway across Michigan to see the traveling circus.

Kids, big, in the back.

It just all felt so right.

So easy.

So comfortable.

Like a big exhale... finally.

Finally.

So many things have come and gone.

So many hard times.

And I can say, that we are better for it.

I have changed in a way that needed changing.

So it feels like an accomplishment.

A marker that feels solid.

And in the midst of this big day, is life.

Work and errands and appointments.

Anxiety about Baby's vaccinations.

She not one for the white coats after her un-anesthitized stitches.

Proving herself ever the soldier.

Not one muscle tensed.

It was amazing.

What a relief.

And then I left with the unexpected poke.

"Have you been referred to a cardiologist?"

"No...." I managed to breathe out, my own heart now racing.

Today of all days in the back of my mind.

And then, of course, yes, today of all days.

It's all part of it.

Fitting its importance.

My Weekend Reading

photo journalist turned circus wife and mother= blog perfection

The Big Top

The thing about a small one ring circus....

(Especially in your $2 extra ring side seats... which are LITERALLY touching the outside of the ring)

Is that your proximity to the death defying acts...

Is death defying.

Like when this tiger stared me down.

It was about 15 feet away.

With only that open cage in between us.

I almost died.

Or when this guy was walking upside down.

Right over our heads.


An elephant almost pooped IN MY LAP.

I thought I was going to be trampled by camels.


I felt the fuel accelerant on my face when the human volcano spit fire

And it was all worth it.

100% exhilarating.

Totally worth the 2 hours there and back.

Today The Fair... Tomorrow The Circus (believe it)

Progress

BEFORE:

AFTER 2 WEEKS (7 workouts):

BEFORE:

AFTER 2 WEEKS (7 workouts):



Difference? Yes... it's admittedly hard to see it in these pics. Plus, it's incredibly hard for me to get in the same position each time!!!! Either way, what did you expect?... It's only been two weeks. I know from experience that these photos are worth taking for the end compilation (do you remember that incredible shrinking woman Mr F put together for me last time?) But I am definitely less pudgy around the midsection. Definitely. It's easier to see in the straight ahead shot (I wore that headband just for you). It's enough that I'm motivated to keep going.

Chicken Shit

"How is it that one day you get married and put a ring on your finger, and the next you can get pregnant?" Kid asks.

"Yeah... hmm..." Mrs F stutters trying to buy some time.

"That is weird... no one really knows." She finishes, ashamed of herself, but also partly relieved.

File Under... We're Pretty Sure She's Straight

The other night, while we were snuggled up preparing to do our nightly reading, Kid turned and asked...

"How come the men on TV are always wearing wrap pants and have bare chests that are muscular, and oiled, with black hair?"

"Well, I guess they think we'll think that is sexy." I reply, taken back a bit by her very detailed observation.

"Oh, yeah, I totally do." Kid replies slowly with a lusty voice.

Update

more exciting breaking news...

Kid just got her classical guitar. Broody songs to come, I'm sure.

This Is What It Has Come To...

Current (soon to be BEFORE shots... God willing):


I've got a workout routine that I like. I've got a whole bunch of trash lined up on the TIVO.

Theoretically, nothing should stop me.

Hey, next thing you know I might start putting up meal plans...



(Please note: we did not decorate that bathroom)

Well Whatever It Was.... It Is Over.

We ended up canceling our weekend trip, just to be on the safe side.

Kid's medical history, which we had finally felt we were putting behind us, came rushing back full force.

It was definitely an unpleasant reminder.

The last time she woke up in the early morning hours behaving oddly, in a semi conscious state...

well...

she was foaming from the mouth an hour later.

So, around here, we don't mess around.

We can't.

The Weirdest Thing Happened

and it really unnerved me.

Late, late, last night, long after Mr F's office bbq.

Which in and of itself unnerved me.

As I said to Mr F...

"You don't even like to go to your own office parties... that's why you always force me to go."

Well, much later, Kid came to my door crying.

Then I proceeded to have the most disturbing, confusing, heartbreaking conversation with her.

It's hard to recreate.

She said weird things, but answered questions about them convincingly.

This went on for half an hour.

She made eye contact.

But she was saying things that were cryptic and strange.

Things I've never heard before.

It freaked me the fuck out, to be honest.

What is going on?

What is she trying to tell me?

Why is she being so evasive?

She kept interjected "never mind" and "I don't want to tell you, you'll get mad."

Those are every parent's worst fear.

You must find a way around those roadblocks.

But in the end, I couldn't.

And after a long while of tossing and turning, she finally went back to her room and went back to sleep.

I lay there, charged, electrified by the unknown.

What just happened?

I still don't know.

Was she in some kind of strange halfway lucid/halfway sleep mode?

Was she confusing dreams for reality?

Or was she really trying to tell me something?

Something an 8 year old doesn't have the right words for.