An Open Letter to My Family,
This is Mrs F's blog. She writes about whatever she wants to, and with very rare exception I don't ever have a problem with anything she's ever posted.
This is a personal space. It is a diary. Mrs F shares her thoughts and feelings here with what has become a pretty close group of supportive, yet mostly anonymous "friends."
It can be about safe topics like organic foods, recipes, kids or shopping. But this blog is really about her life. Good and not-as-good.
But more than anything else, this blog is honest. Always. And despite today's objection from my cousin, nobody has ever been treated cruelly here.
This isn't a "family keep-in-touch blog."
Not everything here (or at my blog for that matter) is suitable for everyone. No one has ever been "invited to" or "excluded from" here. If you read, it is your choice—and if you read something you don't like, it is up to you decide what you want to do with that. Do NOT expect things here to be stifled. I have lived the first 30-plus years of my life withdrawn and suppressing emotions, and the single biggest impact Mrs F has had on my life has been helping me break through that, and I will NEVER ask her to do the opposite.
Nothing here is ever written to hurt anyone's feelings. But at the same time, it is not Mrs F's job to protect everyone from their own feelings.
Two of my sisters read the blog. And comment—not as regularly as some of you, but it's a pretty safe bet that they'll see this. It will probably make them uncomfortable, and I'm sorry about that, but they'll live. They can acknowledge everything they read here is true and own it—[gasp!] sometimes their brother might be an asshole—or they can pretend everything is always perfectly normal and not think about it—and live only on the surface—it's what we in my family were all trained to do.
My parents may or may not have ever read the blog. I honestly cannot see them being interested in anything that takes place here at all topically, and the fact that it constantly deals with actual emotions and opinions, etc is nothing I expect they want to experience regularly. Either way, they have never discussed it with us and they were just here.
So, as far as I'm concerned, if my mom, dad or anyone else surreptitiously reads the blog without ever revealing it, it's akin to reading somebody's diary when they're not in their room and taking offense at what they find.
This isn't talking behind their back—we've tried to have a dialogue about all of this stuff with them, I poured it all out and we went waaay out on the limb—it went nowhere. Mrs F has done more than anyone in my family to foster the relationships that we have let whither on the vine. Through her efforts much of that has improved, but only as far as all parties will let it. My parents force a level of interaction that is far more shallow than I would like, and that means painful awkwardness or complete cluelessness depending on how aware you want to be. A visit means lots of small talk, tiptoeing and jawclenching...so when they leave, there is usually some pressure that needs to be let off.
That's what this blog is for.
There's a natural reaction from me to ask Mrs F to pretend this weekend never happened—but that's not being honest. Not by me, and it's not right to expect her to pretend Mothers Day was great if it wasn't or that "everything's swell" when it's not.
It is her blog, and she shouldn't have to censor herself to protect my family—they are all adults.
If you ever read anything here that brings you up short or offends you, before you lash out at Mrs F., or condemn her, stop to think about why you reacted that way. If you think she's crazy for breastfeeding a two-year-old or for co-sleeping, maybe you have some of your own guilt to deal with. If you are offended that somebody would dare say something truthful and admit their family is less than perfect, than perhaps that, too, is an issue you need to deal with.
Love (and tough-love, too),
Mr. F.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
A Note From Mr F
Hoo Boy. I think I need to step in and address something...
Let The Birthday Adventure Begin!
Mr F pack your bags.
We're headed to the Rainforest Jungles of Borneo!
Believe it.
Cheesy? Yes.
Potentially gross? Maybe.
But surely Mr F will never forget spending his 40th birthday at the weird, yet strangely appealing, "Hot Tub Gardens".
We're headed to the Rainforest Jungles of Borneo!
Believe it.
Cheesy? Yes.
Potentially gross? Maybe.
But surely Mr F will never forget spending his 40th birthday at the weird, yet strangely appealing, "Hot Tub Gardens".
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Down In The Dumps
I'm feeling a bit depressed.
This weekend really sucked the life out of me and has left me just depleted. Even though nothing really went down... no actual disagreements or some other horrible type situation... having to stifle my emotions for 72 hours is exhausting.
I don't know how they do it every day.
I really just can't imagine living my whole life with a great big dampener covering everything. It doesn't just affect the negatives but the positives as well. If you aren't open to feeling, and bearing witness to, a full range of emotion you aren't just protecting yourself from sorrow and pain... you're preventing yourself from feeling happiness to its full extent.
It's sad.
This weekend really sucked the life out of me and has left me just depleted. Even though nothing really went down... no actual disagreements or some other horrible type situation... having to stifle my emotions for 72 hours is exhausting.
I don't know how they do it every day.
I really just can't imagine living my whole life with a great big dampener covering everything. It doesn't just affect the negatives but the positives as well. If you aren't open to feeling, and bearing witness to, a full range of emotion you aren't just protecting yourself from sorrow and pain... you're preventing yourself from feeling happiness to its full extent.
It's sad.
Comedy or Tragedy... You Decide
Some background information before we begin:
Mr F's parents do not like to go out to eat... or rather not outside of a very rare occasion. They particularly don't like to go out for breakfast. I'm unsure exactly why... I don't know if that seems like a particularly wasteful meal to go out for, or if they are just too food picky to eat someone else's eggs. I imagine it is a bit of both.
We love to go out for brunch... particularly a good brunch buffet. Love it.
This Mother's Day fell on a Sunday... like it always does. This particular Sunday was the last day of Mr F's parents visit. The fact that it was Mother's Day (my Mother's Day) trumped the fact that they were in town and Mr F booked reservations at a local hotel for brunch.
This is a pretty nice restaurant and we've had brunch there quite a few times. They have a nice buffet and it is surprisingly inexpensive. Win win right? Who wouldn't like that? Which is exactly why we took Mr F's parents there on a previous visit. That is how we found out how seriously they take their "we don't like to eat out for breakfast... especially buffets" stance. They ordered a muffin off the menu. Seriously. The buffet was all you can eat with a freaking carving station, drinks included, for 9.99 but whatever...
Well there aren't a whole lot of nice type breakfast venues to choose from so Mr F made reservations there (Weber's for you local readers). Mr F being Mr F he didn't ask any questions about their "Mother's Day Brunch". Nor was he tipped off by the 2 PM reservation slot when normally they have switched to the menu by then. He booked it. He told me... but he didn't not tell his parents... not when they arrived, not the following day... not even Sunday morning. At approximately 12 PM I asked Mr F if he was operating in "secret mode". He laughed and said he was operating on an "as need to know basis". Perfect... because that tactic has been so useful in the past...
Shortly thereafter Mr F finally decides it is time to inform his parents that we are going out to brunch at 2. I sense a stiffening and maybe a confusion since 2 is pretty late for brunch so I pipe up "Linner... we're going out for linner." Funny... yes I know (Trust me it's not a discriminating audience and there is no point in busting out my A- list humor). Pretty close to 2 PM I make mention that it is close to 2 PM. Yes that's kind of how it goes during these visits. Noticing that Mr F's parents were... um... in casual attire (and by casual I do mean a brown sweat suit) I decide to wear jeans. Not because it was appropriate (it wasn't) but because I didn't want them to feel awkwardly underdressed. Of course it would have been better if Mr F had told them of the plans ahead of time so they could have dressed nicely... but that's a whole different post.
Mr F's parents do not like to go out to eat... or rather not outside of a very rare occasion. They particularly don't like to go out for breakfast. I'm unsure exactly why... I don't know if that seems like a particularly wasteful meal to go out for, or if they are just too food picky to eat someone else's eggs. I imagine it is a bit of both.
We love to go out for brunch... particularly a good brunch buffet. Love it.
This Mother's Day fell on a Sunday... like it always does. This particular Sunday was the last day of Mr F's parents visit. The fact that it was Mother's Day (my Mother's Day) trumped the fact that they were in town and Mr F booked reservations at a local hotel for brunch.
This is a pretty nice restaurant and we've had brunch there quite a few times. They have a nice buffet and it is surprisingly inexpensive. Win win right? Who wouldn't like that? Which is exactly why we took Mr F's parents there on a previous visit. That is how we found out how seriously they take their "we don't like to eat out for breakfast... especially buffets" stance. They ordered a muffin off the menu. Seriously. The buffet was all you can eat with a freaking carving station, drinks included, for 9.99 but whatever...
Well there aren't a whole lot of nice type breakfast venues to choose from so Mr F made reservations there (Weber's for you local readers). Mr F being Mr F he didn't ask any questions about their "Mother's Day Brunch". Nor was he tipped off by the 2 PM reservation slot when normally they have switched to the menu by then. He booked it. He told me... but he didn't not tell his parents... not when they arrived, not the following day... not even Sunday morning. At approximately 12 PM I asked Mr F if he was operating in "secret mode". He laughed and said he was operating on an "as need to know basis". Perfect... because that tactic has been so useful in the past...
Shortly thereafter Mr F finally decides it is time to inform his parents that we are going out to brunch at 2. I sense a stiffening and maybe a confusion since 2 is pretty late for brunch so I pipe up "Linner... we're going out for linner." Funny... yes I know (Trust me it's not a discriminating audience and there is no point in busting out my A- list humor). Pretty close to 2 PM I make mention that it is close to 2 PM. Yes that's kind of how it goes during these visits. Noticing that Mr F's parents were... um... in casual attire (and by casual I do mean a brown sweat suit) I decide to wear jeans. Not because it was appropriate (it wasn't) but because I didn't want them to feel awkwardly underdressed. Of course it would have been better if Mr F had told them of the plans ahead of time so they could have dressed nicely... but that's a whole different post.
We get everyone in the car and head out. The first sign of our impending doom was visible from quite a ways off. Hundreds of cars were in the parking lot... and on the surrounding grass. I've seen that before... when they are having their "special" dining for Thanksgiving. It never occurred to me that this would be one of those holidays. As it turns out they had over 3000 reservations on Sunday. It was a madhouse. Did I already mention that Mr F's parents don't like to go out to eat and are pretty out of their element when going to Chili's... yeah so you can start to see this is not going to go well.
The last time we were at Weber's for a holiday was Thanksgiving of '03. I had been making my mother's wedding cake and could not take the evening off to go out to her house for dinner. We ate at the hotel with friends. It wasn't good. The food wasn't bad but the atmosphere of the (clearly) third tier banquet room... sitting at long tables with strangers (hey like the Pilgrims!)... other people's crumbs and food bits covering the floor... was less than festive. Apparently it is impossible to turn these tables over as quickly as they are and keep things appealing. So when his mom and I got inside and the maitre 'de said "Brunch? You need to check in downstairs." I knew Mr F had royally fucked up.
To start things down the slippery slope to Hell was the checking in process. The reservation is really just a ballpark time apparently. You check in and then are seated in order. We were #13 to check in for 2 PM. We were seated around 3 PM. Fine. While we're waiting we can see into a gorgeous banquet room. When our name is called we are told we're going to "The Atrium". Oh Uh. Remember that 3rd tier banquet room? The one right next to the indoor pool? Yup... that's "The Atrium".
On the way there Mr F's mother pipes up to the hostess "I'm so glad we are being seated before the woman who cut in front of us." I'm sorry what? I checked us in. We had a reservation. No one was cutting... it was just a total madhouse. "What?" I ask. "The woman who barged in with the 2:30 PM reservation I'm glad we got seated first!" She replied. To which the hostess said "Oh well we go by reservation time and seat all the 2s before the 2:30s." "Well... I really didn't want to see her get a way with it" My MIL continues. What is there even to say... um... she didn't... why are we bitching about that?
Now we enter the "banquet room". Hmm... 2 PM means a LOT of people have already eaten in here.... and it shows. We get seated at a table with no settings. The food is not "hot"... not bad... but not "hot". My FIL has a thing for his food being served piping hot. Since I'm sitting next to Baby (of course) and I am on kid food prep duty my food is not going to be hot either which way so I might not have noticed had I not overheard him saying to my MIL "it's not hot (referring to his coffee) either is the food." I'm a little tense because obviously this is pretty much a worst case dining scenario. On top of that no one is talking... well outside of muttered complaints.
So I'm "enjoying" my Mother's Day. Eating cold food, drinking room temperature coffee (yum), and wrangling the wild one while she rubs watermelon all over the white tablecloth. Just then I notice a commotion at a table behind us. Some woman is yelling at the manager about something... fun... that definitely improves the mood. And then... then people... the goddamn emergency door alarm gets triggered. So there we are sitting, awkwardly not talking, with the alarm going off for a good 5 minutes. It was really unbelievable. I almost could have cried had it not been just so perfect... so perfectly horrendous. I mean really what else could have gone wrong... oh I know...
When my FIL finally got the attention of the wait staff (who never cleared our plates mind you...we actually "bussed" our own table) and complained about the cold coffee... the waiter poured him a fresh cup... and kept on pouring... until it had overflowed the cup... and the saucer. Okay now that is perfect. Could we just stop there?
No you say? You'd be right...
When we get the bill I think I see a 7 on the upside down slip and think to myself "You have got to be kidding me... 70 bucks?!" So I pick it up and see that it is actually closer to 80. Okay so apparently Mr F did not ask how much this "Special Mother's Day Brunch (in Hell)" was. Well I know his Dad would have a heart attack if he had any idea that is how much it was so I hand it to Mr F. He is unphased (of course). I'm pissed. On top of a horrible day and truthfully horrible brunch with horrible service we are now out 80 bucks.
Out of nowhere his Dad gets up and intercepts the waiter and apparently gives his own credit card. While I'm anxious because I didn't really wish for him to know how much it was, I'm also relieved because I won't have to go home resenting everyone as much as if we had paid (just being honest folks). When his Dad sits down to pay the bill he says to me (yes the first thing he had said all day) "How much tip should I pay on this?" Are kidding me? Why are you asking me? How about asking your freaking son who is sitting right next to me? So I said "I don't know." And he said "Well how much would you usually tip for Mother's Day Brunch?" Well... I wouldn't.... I'm the mom! After an awkward pause I said "I don't know... we've never been here for Mother's Day Brunch before." (a refrain that I had repeated about 100 times since the moment we had arrived in the parking lot... along with "Ask [Mr F]... he made the reservation.") Since he wouldn't relent I just said "well I would certainly not give more than 10%."
He paid the check and then looked at us and said "Well.... Happy Birthday [Mr F].... and Happy Mother's Day [Mrs F]." in as flat an affect as possible.
Um.... thanks?
Monday, May 12, 2008
This Week The Plan
I don't have the energy left in my to wrap up last week. It sucked. We still haven't heard the word on the Asheville job. Mr F's parents are gone. I ate way too much and didn't exercise enough.
Onto this week...
After the $130 ticket, the $480 MI state tax penalty, Kid's new glasses, my NY state social work license renewal, & renewing both cars plates last week... talk about cha-ching... I am trying to plan the cheapest grocery week of all time.
Menu:
Monday - Spaghetti w/ mixed vegetables
Tuesday - hummus, pita, turkey & tomato salad
Wednesday - Mr F's 40th birthday!! Triple Berry Pie
Thursday - eggs, toast & fruit salad
Friday - pizza night
Saturday - Brown Sugar & Ginger Salmon, veggie stir fry & spring rolls
Sunday - Tomato & Meatball Soup w/ crescent rolls
Diet & Exercise:
I'm going hard core this week. I really need to get back on the exercise wagon. This week I'm actually going to calorie count and keep under 1900 calories (except Mr F's b'day). I'm also going to do 1 hour of pilates and 4 hours of cardio. Period. I"m going to do it. I'm not weighing myself this week... because I'm sure I gained and I just don't need to know about it. I'm fixing it. I'll weigh-in next week.
Errands & Chores:
Monday - put away clothes, do laundry
Tuesday - vacuum, Target, grocery shop
Wednesday - make pie
Thursday - vacuum upstairs & hallway
Friday - zoo?
Onto this week...
After the $130 ticket, the $480 MI state tax penalty, Kid's new glasses, my NY state social work license renewal, & renewing both cars plates last week... talk about cha-ching... I am trying to plan the cheapest grocery week of all time.
Menu:
Monday - Spaghetti w/ mixed vegetables
Tuesday - hummus, pita, turkey & tomato salad
Wednesday - Mr F's 40th birthday!! Triple Berry Pie
Thursday - eggs, toast & fruit salad
Friday - pizza night
Saturday - Brown Sugar & Ginger Salmon, veggie stir fry & spring rolls
Sunday - Tomato & Meatball Soup w/ crescent rolls
Diet & Exercise:
I'm going hard core this week. I really need to get back on the exercise wagon. This week I'm actually going to calorie count and keep under 1900 calories (except Mr F's b'day). I'm also going to do 1 hour of pilates and 4 hours of cardio. Period. I"m going to do it. I'm not weighing myself this week... because I'm sure I gained and I just don't need to know about it. I'm fixing it. I'll weigh-in next week.
Errands & Chores:
Monday - put away clothes, do laundry
Tuesday - vacuum, Target, grocery shop
Wednesday - make pie
Thursday - vacuum upstairs & hallway
Friday - zoo?
Sunday, May 11, 2008
This One Goes Out To The Ones I Love
The moment, the very first moment, your eyes looked into mine I loved you in a way I had never loved or known I could. You girls are my everything.
Not a single day goes by that I do not thank the powers that be that you, my dear Ruby, are alive. And of course not just alive as in born... but alive as in you have survived. More than any young little body should have to. But I am thankful that you have... and grateful, so grateful, because not every mother is so lucky.
And Charlotte, my little wild one, I am thankful everyday that you are... that you exist on this Earth and in our home. That you were chosen and came to be. You have touched my heart and changed our family. You are small but mighty and my heart is filled to over flowing.
Not a single day goes by that I do not thank the powers that be that you, my dear Ruby, are alive. And of course not just alive as in born... but alive as in you have survived. More than any young little body should have to. But I am thankful that you have... and grateful, so grateful, because not every mother is so lucky.
And Charlotte, my little wild one, I am thankful everyday that you are... that you exist on this Earth and in our home. That you were chosen and came to be. You have touched my heart and changed our family. You are small but mighty and my heart is filled to over flowing.
Good Times
Yesterday I drove back to my hometown of Rochester to attend a good friend's bridal shower. I was pretty excited to head out for a couple of reasons...
#1 I absolutely love this family. Seriously. They were practically my adoptive family during my high school years and really made what could have been a pretty bad few years for me completely bearable. I always felt welcome... and that was something I didn't necessarily feel at home. Also they are just a fun loud family... the whole extended family... and they never disappoint.
#2 The shower was being held at Kruse & Muer ... my all time favorite hometown restaurant. My family no longer lives in Rochester... but when they did I'd inevitably head here to eat EVERY time I went home. Why?...you might ask... well, I"ll tell you... because they have the best bread I've ever had in my life. Period. I don't know anyone who doesn't love it. When I was in high school you could actually pop in and just buy a "bag of bread". It's kind of like a baguette made of pizza dough, rolled in oil and covered in salt, poppy seeds & other herbs. Fantastic and addicting.
#3 This is the very same restaurant where I met Justin when I came out to meet up with blogger friend Heather. And that is literally the third thing to pop into my mind... "How great would that be if Justin was there?!?!" You might recall that I felt compelled to write about him after he waited on our table and that he actually came to my blog and commented. Oh those were some good times....
Anyway yesterday I hit some unfortunate road closures and despite my best intentions was running about 15 minutes late. I had planned to ask the wait staff when I arrived if Justin was on duty.... because how could I not?... it would be too funny to miss! But I was late and I didn't feel I had any time for shenanigans. When I parked my car I saw another waiter heading in and thought to ask him but then I kind of had an odd moment of shyness and I just went straight into the party.
Well not moments after saying my hellos who do you think walks into the room?
YES! The one and only Justin was actually assigned to serve the party. How freaking great is that?! I think Justin was more than I little shocked to see me... I mean why wouldn't he be? It's been over 4 months since our infamous meeting. Since then I've cut my own hair... yes, Justin, I cut it myself... believe it! I've gone on with my little bloggy life and he's gone on serving other crazy women (possibly not quite as crazy). Anyway having Justin there only improved what was already a fun outing for me. He gave me the VIP treatment. Seriously it was the best. It was like I had my own special waiter. It almost made me feel a little bit famous.
Shhh... he even sent me home with fresh bread...
#1 I absolutely love this family. Seriously. They were practically my adoptive family during my high school years and really made what could have been a pretty bad few years for me completely bearable. I always felt welcome... and that was something I didn't necessarily feel at home. Also they are just a fun loud family... the whole extended family... and they never disappoint.
#2 The shower was being held at Kruse & Muer ... my all time favorite hometown restaurant. My family no longer lives in Rochester... but when they did I'd inevitably head here to eat EVERY time I went home. Why?...you might ask... well, I"ll tell you... because they have the best bread I've ever had in my life. Period. I don't know anyone who doesn't love it. When I was in high school you could actually pop in and just buy a "bag of bread". It's kind of like a baguette made of pizza dough, rolled in oil and covered in salt, poppy seeds & other herbs. Fantastic and addicting.
#3 This is the very same restaurant where I met Justin when I came out to meet up with blogger friend Heather. And that is literally the third thing to pop into my mind... "How great would that be if Justin was there?!?!" You might recall that I felt compelled to write about him after he waited on our table and that he actually came to my blog and commented. Oh those were some good times....
Anyway yesterday I hit some unfortunate road closures and despite my best intentions was running about 15 minutes late. I had planned to ask the wait staff when I arrived if Justin was on duty.... because how could I not?... it would be too funny to miss! But I was late and I didn't feel I had any time for shenanigans. When I parked my car I saw another waiter heading in and thought to ask him but then I kind of had an odd moment of shyness and I just went straight into the party.
Well not moments after saying my hellos who do you think walks into the room?
YES! The one and only Justin was actually assigned to serve the party. How freaking great is that?! I think Justin was more than I little shocked to see me... I mean why wouldn't he be? It's been over 4 months since our infamous meeting. Since then I've cut my own hair... yes, Justin, I cut it myself... believe it! I've gone on with my little bloggy life and he's gone on serving other crazy women (possibly not quite as crazy). Anyway having Justin there only improved what was already a fun outing for me. He gave me the VIP treatment. Seriously it was the best. It was like I had my own special waiter. It almost made me feel a little bit famous.
Shhh... he even sent me home with fresh bread...
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Do You?
Today I'm off to attend a bridal shower (what perfect timing!). I don't know about the rest of you but I actually enjoy a good bridal shower.... baby showers too. There is so much excitement and hope at these events. And they usually aren't overshadowed by too much stress or family drama like so many weddings are.
I also just love a good excuse to dress up.
But my question to you is....
Do you buy gifts off of Bridal Registries or not? If so do you do it for shower gifts and wedding gifts? Do you just give cash for weddings? Do you absolutely refuse to buy off a registry (I know you are out there)?
After going through it all at my wedding, I try to always buy off a registry both for showers and wedding gifts. We'll also give cash for weddings it kind of just depends on who it is and how much stuff they have registered for. I'm happy to buy off a registry...mostly because I'm happy for someone to get exactly what they want... but also because I want them to be able to easily return it. I also have a pretty solid price point for these gifts and I don't need to feel like I got a good deal nor do I need the recipient to think I spent more than I did.
So what do you do?
And if you don't mind sharing how much do you spend?
****************************************************
UPDATE:
As requested.... the shoes
Oh and Justin was there... and was our waiter. More on that tomorrow. It was fabulous...
I also just love a good excuse to dress up.
But my question to you is....
Do you buy gifts off of Bridal Registries or not? If so do you do it for shower gifts and wedding gifts? Do you just give cash for weddings? Do you absolutely refuse to buy off a registry (I know you are out there)?
After going through it all at my wedding, I try to always buy off a registry both for showers and wedding gifts. We'll also give cash for weddings it kind of just depends on who it is and how much stuff they have registered for. I'm happy to buy off a registry...mostly because I'm happy for someone to get exactly what they want... but also because I want them to be able to easily return it. I also have a pretty solid price point for these gifts and I don't need to feel like I got a good deal nor do I need the recipient to think I spent more than I did.
So what do you do?
And if you don't mind sharing how much do you spend?
****************************************************
UPDATE:
As requested.... the shoes
Oh and Justin was there... and was our waiter. More on that tomorrow. It was fabulous...
Friday, May 9, 2008
Randomness Of The Day
As an added bonus shortly after shooting this video I opened up our mail. On top of this week's totally bogus $130 ticket we also just received an equally bogus "Notice of Proposed Penalty and Interest for Underpaid Estimates" from our great state. WTF? We never pay our estimated taxes and we have never been charged a crazy ass 25% penalty on our unpaid estimates. I'm in total shock. Hello! We paid our freaking taxes in full. On top of that I just got Kid's new glasses today of all days. Cha-ching.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Role Play
You know those relationships that you have that are so tense and anxiety provoking that you feel the need to pre-live your potential interactions?
I tend to do this for a good 24 hours before I see a particular someone in my life. Instead of just entering the situation cold (literally and figuratively) I like to torture myself by acting out (mostly in my head... but I did catch myself actually acting it out while doing laundry this evening) all potentially charged conversations. This person is an incredibly literal person... me?... not so much... so pretty much any and every conversation has the potential to nose dive pretty quickly. While the role playing means I add an additional day's visit (albeit virtual) on to their trip it does help me to get my most sarcastic remarks out of my system and practice more neutral responses.
It's not that crazy... it's not any different than practicing a speech... right?
I tend to do this for a good 24 hours before I see a particular someone in my life. Instead of just entering the situation cold (literally and figuratively) I like to torture myself by acting out (mostly in my head... but I did catch myself actually acting it out while doing laundry this evening) all potentially charged conversations. This person is an incredibly literal person... me?... not so much... so pretty much any and every conversation has the potential to nose dive pretty quickly. While the role playing means I add an additional day's visit (albeit virtual) on to their trip it does help me to get my most sarcastic remarks out of my system and practice more neutral responses.
It's not that crazy... it's not any different than practicing a speech... right?
Good Golly
When Kid was Baby's age she was an amazingly well mannered little kiddo. I mean amazingly... and I don't just mean from my "I'm her mom and it's a reflection on my parenting" sort of way. I mean in the constant "she's an old soul" references from strangers sort of way. I mean in the my therapist actually thought it might be a problem sort of way.
Kid was cute and clever and well... perfect. She was also shy and cautious. She was the kind of kid who wanted to slide down the slide on your lap. She rarely had to be told "no" more than once. If you so much as let out the quietest of gasps at a potential danger she'd never go near that [insert road, rickety gate, merry go round] again.
In contrast, yesterday, I found our dear Baby hanging from the clothing rack at Target (and yes I'm completely serious). Apparently in the 2.2 seconds it took me to bend over and read the tag on a little dress she was able to catapult herself, with Herculean strength and monkey like dexterity, out of the cart by pulling herself up the nearby clothing. Thankfully I was not 2 feet away and when I turned my head and saw her hanging there... like a mini Olympic champion... my heart in my throat and my chin on the ground... I was able to swoop her up before she smashed her head open!
Once Baby was buckled back in... shrieking and writhing... we hurried it up and got the Hell out of there. When I say Baby is crazy I mean it. She is a freaking maniac. When she started walking at 8 months we knew we were in for a little trouble. And boy does she deliver. Seriously folks I pretty much feel like I'm about to have a heart attack every second of the day. When you put her down she runs (at top speed) straight down the driveway. She can go up and down the slide by herself.... she seems to prefer to do this head first. This girl doesn't "turn around and back down" anything... she'll run right off the top step of the stairs and "dismounts" off the couch. Yesterday she was eating her snack while standing on her piano bench... on one leg. Astonishingly she has heretofore escaped major injury.
Pray for me....
Kid was cute and clever and well... perfect. She was also shy and cautious. She was the kind of kid who wanted to slide down the slide on your lap. She rarely had to be told "no" more than once. If you so much as let out the quietest of gasps at a potential danger she'd never go near that [insert road, rickety gate, merry go round] again.
In contrast, yesterday, I found our dear Baby hanging from the clothing rack at Target (and yes I'm completely serious). Apparently in the 2.2 seconds it took me to bend over and read the tag on a little dress she was able to catapult herself, with Herculean strength and monkey like dexterity, out of the cart by pulling herself up the nearby clothing. Thankfully I was not 2 feet away and when I turned my head and saw her hanging there... like a mini Olympic champion... my heart in my throat and my chin on the ground... I was able to swoop her up before she smashed her head open!
Once Baby was buckled back in... shrieking and writhing... we hurried it up and got the Hell out of there. When I say Baby is crazy I mean it. She is a freaking maniac. When she started walking at 8 months we knew we were in for a little trouble. And boy does she deliver. Seriously folks I pretty much feel like I'm about to have a heart attack every second of the day. When you put her down she runs (at top speed) straight down the driveway. She can go up and down the slide by herself.... she seems to prefer to do this head first. This girl doesn't "turn around and back down" anything... she'll run right off the top step of the stairs and "dismounts" off the couch. Yesterday she was eating her snack while standing on her piano bench... on one leg. Astonishingly she has heretofore escaped major injury.
Pray for me....
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
The Great Douche Bag Incident of '04
While I think I'm pretty funny, and you might think I'm pretty funny, there are at least two people I know for sure don't think I'm funny. That is why I didn't want Mr F's parents to read my blog... or the kid's blogs. And part of why their visits can be stressful.
This became perfectly clear during the "Douche Bag" incident of '04.
At some point right before Kid's 2nd birthday we were walking down the street on our way to meet some friends. Kid at this point was amazingly verbal but she would still say something that you didn't quite understand. On this day she said something that sounded exactly like "douche bag". Now surely she wasn't... and even considering our sometimes colorful language "douche bag" is pretty old school and wasn't exactly part of our everyday vernacular.
Now every parenting book on the planet will tell you to ignore this type of behavior... but I really couldn't resist... so I asked her to repeat herself and when she said it again I fell to the ground in hysterics.
Then I did the number one thing you shouldn't do. I told her to say "douche bag" to our friend when we met up. Our friend was sufficiently scandalized/amused. I was pleased with my little old school swearing baby monkey. We went home and I told her to call Mr F a "douche bag". Mr F, of course, thought this was hilarious. For the next two weeks we would prompt her to greet the other parent with "douche bag". It was all fun and games there for a while...until...
A month or two later I was visiting my in-laws with Kid. Mr F was flying in later to meet us. Kid and I were out to eat with Mr F's parents. At this point Kid had stopped saying "douche bag" for a good month and a half. It was cute, if not adorably crude, while it lasted but she was over it. Or so I thought.
While at dinner I asked Kid, innocently, what she was going to say to Daddy when we picked him up at the airport. Kid matter of factly replied "douche bag". I snickered... somewhat shocked. Mr F's parents looked at each other and his dad asked "What did she say?". Now if I had been thinking on my toes I would have said "I don't know" or "hmmm... trash bag?". Instead I said "She's said what you think she said." To which my father in law replied "douche bag?". And I just said "yes".
Now if you were an outsider looking in this would have been one of the funniest conversations of all time. And in the moment I could appreciate that... but they could not. And really what could I say?... Oh I don't know why she says that?... I just let it go and didn't explain it. It was horrifically awkward to say the least.
In contrast while visiting my own father shortly there after... Kid's use of "douche bag" momentarily re-ignited... she busted it out in reference to the trash bag sleds he had rigged up for us... thinking she had finally discovered what a douche bag really was. My dad had a really good laugh over that one. And when I explained to him how we had coached her he had a little twinkle in his eye. You see the apple does not fall far from the tree.
Well I guess unless Mr F is the apple...
This became perfectly clear during the "Douche Bag" incident of '04.
At some point right before Kid's 2nd birthday we were walking down the street on our way to meet some friends. Kid at this point was amazingly verbal but she would still say something that you didn't quite understand. On this day she said something that sounded exactly like "douche bag". Now surely she wasn't... and even considering our sometimes colorful language "douche bag" is pretty old school and wasn't exactly part of our everyday vernacular.
Now every parenting book on the planet will tell you to ignore this type of behavior... but I really couldn't resist... so I asked her to repeat herself and when she said it again I fell to the ground in hysterics.
Then I did the number one thing you shouldn't do. I told her to say "douche bag" to our friend when we met up. Our friend was sufficiently scandalized/amused. I was pleased with my little old school swearing baby monkey. We went home and I told her to call Mr F a "douche bag". Mr F, of course, thought this was hilarious. For the next two weeks we would prompt her to greet the other parent with "douche bag". It was all fun and games there for a while...until...
A month or two later I was visiting my in-laws with Kid. Mr F was flying in later to meet us. Kid and I were out to eat with Mr F's parents. At this point Kid had stopped saying "douche bag" for a good month and a half. It was cute, if not adorably crude, while it lasted but she was over it. Or so I thought.
While at dinner I asked Kid, innocently, what she was going to say to Daddy when we picked him up at the airport. Kid matter of factly replied "douche bag". I snickered... somewhat shocked. Mr F's parents looked at each other and his dad asked "What did she say?". Now if I had been thinking on my toes I would have said "I don't know" or "hmmm... trash bag?". Instead I said "She's said what you think she said." To which my father in law replied "douche bag?". And I just said "yes".
Now if you were an outsider looking in this would have been one of the funniest conversations of all time. And in the moment I could appreciate that... but they could not. And really what could I say?... Oh I don't know why she says that?... I just let it go and didn't explain it. It was horrifically awkward to say the least.
In contrast while visiting my own father shortly there after... Kid's use of "douche bag" momentarily re-ignited... she busted it out in reference to the trash bag sleds he had rigged up for us... thinking she had finally discovered what a douche bag really was. My dad had a really good laugh over that one. And when I explained to him how we had coached her he had a little twinkle in his eye. You see the apple does not fall far from the tree.
Well I guess unless Mr F is the apple...
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Documenting The Truth
[click click]
"What are you doing?" Mrs F calls to Mr F across the house.
"Nothing." He replies
[click click]
"What are you taking pictures of?" Mrs F presses
[click click]
"The faucet." Mr F states matter of factly
[click click]
"Why?" Mrs F inquires suddenly worried that we might have to sink more money into the house.
"Because I'm sitting on the toilet." Mr F says with a sheepish laugh
"What are you doing?" Mrs F calls to Mr F across the house.
"Nothing." He replies
[click click]
"What are you taking pictures of?" Mrs F presses
[click click]
"The faucet." Mr F states matter of factly
[click click]
"Why?" Mrs F inquires suddenly worried that we might have to sink more money into the house.
"Because I'm sitting on the toilet." Mr F says with a sheepish laugh
North Carolina Shout-Out
I know this isn't a typical post.... but... it doesn't seem like Asheville offers a half-day Kindergarten program. Even the private schools I've perused (not religious) only offer a full day program. Does anyone have any insight into this?
Kid's system will be going through quite a bit of shock if she has to go from 3 afternoons a week at preschool to 5 full days in Kindergarten.
Kid's system will be going through quite a bit of shock if she has to go from 3 afternoons a week at preschool to 5 full days in Kindergarten.
Goddamn It
I just got a mother fucking $130 ticket.
Jesus Christ.
I wasn't speeding.
My plates are freaking valid.
I have a perfect driving record.
I cut through the damn bank parking lot.
Because the road was blocked and I had to get to Kid's preschool.
$130
And it would have been 3 fucking points on my license (can you believe that?! 3 points!)
Thankfully the officer was "being nice" and knocked the points off.
Yeah thanks.
Jesus Christ.
I wasn't speeding.
My plates are freaking valid.
I have a perfect driving record.
I cut through the damn bank parking lot.
Because the road was blocked and I had to get to Kid's preschool.
$130
And it would have been 3 fucking points on my license (can you believe that?! 3 points!)
Thankfully the officer was "being nice" and knocked the points off.
Yeah thanks.
Monday, May 5, 2008
This Week The Plan
Okay I'm definitely feeling overwhelmed. I'd like to know "for sure" about the job so I can just move forward with it. The next month or two are bound to be incredibly stressful (and exciting... but mostly stressful) and it is taking a lot of mental energy to not let my mind just become completely engulfed in move related to-dos. I think it is my natural instinct when confronted with something so time consuming to want to just give up completely on my menus and weekly plans. It would be so much easier to just get take-out every night for the next two months. We've done that before... and it isn't that it is detrimental to our diets... it just is a slippery slope. Once you let go of one part of your life the whole thing can just come crashing down and pretty soon you feel overwhelmed by every thing and not just the move. So with that in mind I am going to endeavor to keep my plans coming... although I'm going to focus on very, very simple dinners. There are only so many hours in the day and I'm going to forgo cleaning for the time being and replace it with packing/purging. I'm also going to schedule 4 workouts a week. I do find I am actually more energetic and more likely to get stuff done after my evening workout then when I skip it... so here's to hoping that holds true. And if nothing else it will hopefully help take the edge off my anxiety.
Oh I forgot to mention my in-laws are coming on Friday. And no that probably won't be helpful.
Onto this week:
Menu:
Monday - Tomato & Meatball Soup w/crescent rolls
Tuesday - Chicken Caesar Salad
Wednesday - Kid & Mr F date night
Thursday - Salmon, stirfry veggies, spring rolls
Friday - Sunday - Mr F's parents are in town... I'll be winging it...
Diet & Exercise:
Okay last week sucked. Not entirely my fault with Mr F's absence and all but this week I really need to get back on track.
I have been working on giving up my hardcore dessert addiction and have been doing a lot better. I did fall of the wagon while Mr F was gone... but I did learn that I eat about 300 calories less a day if I go to bed by 11 versus 1. Something to keep in mind. This week I'm shooting for M & T long cardio workouts, Th a long pilates workout, and F a short running workout. We'll see what I can fit in on the weekend... probably not much.
Errands & Chores:
Monday - grocery shopping (I'm really going to work on only hitting 1 store a week), laundry
Tuesday - Target returns, clear out Kid's bedroom
Wednesday - clear out Upstairs bathroom, vacuum
Thursday - clean Kitchen, wipe down floors (hey I forgot about the in-laws... I do need to clean this week)
Friday - clean bathrooms, change linens
Oh I forgot to mention my in-laws are coming on Friday. And no that probably won't be helpful.
Onto this week:
Menu:
Monday - Tomato & Meatball Soup w/crescent rolls
Tuesday - Chicken Caesar Salad
Wednesday - Kid & Mr F date night
Thursday - Salmon, stirfry veggies, spring rolls
Friday - Sunday - Mr F's parents are in town... I'll be winging it...
Diet & Exercise:
Okay last week sucked. Not entirely my fault with Mr F's absence and all but this week I really need to get back on track.
I have been working on giving up my hardcore dessert addiction and have been doing a lot better. I did fall of the wagon while Mr F was gone... but I did learn that I eat about 300 calories less a day if I go to bed by 11 versus 1. Something to keep in mind. This week I'm shooting for M & T long cardio workouts, Th a long pilates workout, and F a short running workout. We'll see what I can fit in on the weekend... probably not much.
Errands & Chores:
Monday - grocery shopping (I'm really going to work on only hitting 1 store a week), laundry
Tuesday - Target returns, clear out Kid's bedroom
Wednesday - clear out Upstairs bathroom, vacuum
Thursday - clean Kitchen, wipe down floors (hey I forgot about the in-laws... I do need to clean this week)
Friday - clean bathrooms, change linens
Sunday, May 4, 2008
The Mother Of Invention
This morning I was devastated to find my Hearty Oat Maple Fusion waffles were gone. I really rely on these as my breakfast staple. They are filling and fast, and I don't get the crash and burn I would from pancakes or cereal. I decided I could whip up something similar (why this had never occurred to me before I do not know)... and I did. And, people, they are even better than the waffles... while not quite as fast they are just as filling. The kids loved them too.
Maple Oat Pancakes
1/2 c old fashioned oats
1 c water
1 c pancake/biscuit baking mix
2 T almond flour/meal (ground almonds)**
1 egg
2 T maple syrup (real people)
In a good sized microwave safe bowl combine the oats and water. Cover with a lid or plate and microwave for 3 minutes.
When the oats are cooked stir in the baking mix, egg, almond meal and syrup and thoroughly combine. Cook as you would regular pancakes. Enjoy.
makes 8 pancakes at 100 calories each
** You can get a one pound bag Almond Meal at Trader Joe's for just $3.49. That is an amazing deal! I love to add almond meal to cooked cereals and baked goods to amp up the nutritional content.
Maple Oat Pancakes
1/2 c old fashioned oats
1 c water
1 c pancake/biscuit baking mix
2 T almond flour/meal (ground almonds)**
1 egg
2 T maple syrup (real people)
In a good sized microwave safe bowl combine the oats and water. Cover with a lid or plate and microwave for 3 minutes.
When the oats are cooked stir in the baking mix, egg, almond meal and syrup and thoroughly combine. Cook as you would regular pancakes. Enjoy.
makes 8 pancakes at 100 calories each
** You can get a one pound bag Almond Meal at Trader Joe's for just $3.49. That is an amazing deal! I love to add almond meal to cooked cereals and baked goods to amp up the nutritional content.
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