Cake Boss

"Just so you know I am going to be cutting the cake so I can control the size of the slices!" I announce to Mr F before dessert.

"I remember what happened with the pie... you ate it all... which is fine because it was your birthday... but... this is my cake." I continue.

Later after Mr F excused himself to the kitchen to "get Kid some more", aka cut a slice and quickly shove it in his mouth and then get Kid some more, I walked into the kitchen to see this...

"Oh My God! The cake is almost gone! No more cake for today!!" I scream out to the rest of the family who were blissfully gorging themselves on their 2nd pieces in the living room.

Day One

The report:
I did the level one routine today. The workout is 20 minutes long and alternates 3 minute strength, 2 minute cardio, and 1 minute of abs circuits throughout the program.

At the end I had some mixed feelings about the workout... it was definitely not as hard as I had expected. It's possible that I should just jump up to the next level... but... I also want to give the program as it is designed a good chance to work. I do feel like it is a good 20 minute routine for days when I don't have time to get a full workout in. And, honestly, for that alone it was worth the $9... I can definitely see throwing this in on busy week days when I don't have time to get my evening workout in. I don't think, for me, where I am at right now, that this is a program that could replace what I'm doing or on it's own really change my body much. However, keep in mind that I am already working out about 5-6 days a week for a minimum of 30 minutes of cardio and about 3-5 days of strength training.

Surprisingly, I did think it was a good cardio workout. The routine is done without breaks so your heart rate does really get up there and I was sweating. I am going to continue on doing the 1st level this week, the 2nd next week, and then the 3rd. I am going to continue doing my usual nighttime workout routine on top of that though.

I think when I go out of town I'll probably double up the routines for a good solid 40 minute workout. I think doing 2 levels back to back would leave me feeling like I really accomplished something... and that is what I'm looking for.

A Day Full Of Surprise

Kid has been very excited about my birthday. This is the first year that she is really into our little celebrations and has opinions about how they should go and what we should give each other.  She has also reached the age where she is desperate to have a secret but completely unable to keep it.  It has been nearly impossible for her to keep her mouth shut despite my begging her to NOT TELL ME WHAT I'M GETTING.


She started in on me last night...

"Can I give you a hint?" Kid asks.

"NO! Please just let me be surprised (it happens so rarely)." I ask.

"I'm not going to tell you what it is... but Dad has it hidden in his car." She replies.

"Okay... DO NOT TELL ME ANYTHING ELSE." I remind her.



Kid was up before me waiting, for any sign of life out of my bedroom, so she could pounce on me and begin the birthday proceedings.

"Do you want your presents NOW?" Kid asks upon seeing me awake.

"Sure!" I reply as enthusiastically as I can without an ounce of caffeine.  

Kid gives me a gift bag and I open up.... a new butter dish...gee... I'm overwhelmed with gratitude.
(at least I can honestly say I was surprised by this general purpose household item-cum-birthday gift)

"Can we give her the rest?" Kid asks Mr F.

He asks her to wait... but honestly... a butter dish?!... so I trumped him with a "Yes Please".

I should tell you that I had had it in mind that Mr F was going to surprise me with a new digital SLR to replace ours which he now uses for his job leaving me without a decent camera.

Kid comes in and I unwrap Jillian Michael's 30 day Shred.
(well... at least I did ask for that one)

Then Kid says "We wanted to get you something else but they didn't have it." in a kind of I'm-up-to-something tone.

At the door Kid turns around and says "I can't believe you're falling for this." and starts laughing maniacally.

(and I suddenly had the sinking feeling that while I was clearly getting something more... the more would not be a camera)


Later today Mr F enters the office...

"Do you have any food coloring?" Mr F comes and whispers to me.

"Yes. Hundreds of colors... obviously" I slowly reply, rolling my eyes, wondering why Mr F is suffering from amnesia and why he is whispering it to me.

Psst Mr F... I am the one you are surprising (and I use that term loosely).

"Oh yeah." He responds as if it had never occurred to him that I use food coloring to dye icing and play dough on a somewhat regular and well documented basis.


The big reveal after much whispering (in non whispering tones as is customary amongst children) was a cake in a new glass cake dome.
(which I, also, did ask for and am quite excited about)

While it's true that I didn't get a fancy camera; this is the first time EVER that Mr F has gotten me not ONE... but... TWO things I actually wanted. And as if that weren't enough he actually got them in time for my actual birthday (a first?!... if not pretty close to it).


I did ask Mr F after dessert "So... did you go to the store for the cake dome and see that they had the butter dish?"

 "Yes." He replied. 

"Oh good, because otherwise it's kind of like giving someone a toaster." I added with some relief.

You Say It's Your Birthday

It's my birthday too -- yeah

I Know I'm Not The Only One

Kid has worked really hard to catch up with her classmates this year. She is very proud of herself and her accomplishments. This is the time of learning magic for her... where one day she can't read something and the next she can. I know that it is important that we keep her going over the summer so she doesn't lose the confidence she has just gained.

I've been working on some simple math and reading lessons that are on track with what she was doing in school. I was up until 1AM last night trying to find fun, appropriate, and free computer learning games online. I was really impressed with this Starfall program. She loved it. She doesn't have a lot of computer experience (they don't use them at school yet) so this was a great reward for her after our lesson was over... and it was a great way to reinforce the letter sounds we had just gone over.

If you're keeping the learning going over summer I'd love to know what you are up to.

Dear Mr F,

This is a reminder that my birthday is in TWO days.

You may want to take some time to talk with the kids about what they have planned.

They will probably need some adult supervision as I believe some of their plans involve the oven.

Do not let me them down.

Yay or Nay?

You may recall that I returned last summer having factually busted out of my bathingsuit. And truthfully I got that suit at my absolute thinnest and it's a bit tight even without the clasp on the back.

This year I'm going for a top without a clasp just in case! Also a little more bum coverage.

The girls aren't loving this suit... but I don't know why.
Probably because it's blue.



Does it look better now?!!

Yeah the girls didn't think so either.

WANTED

Somewhere in our house there is a black hole where all the pacies go.

You might remember that for Baby's 1st Christmas she received a stocking filled with pacies. It was possibly the greatest moment of her life (only time will tell).

But where the Hell does she put them?!!

How can we go from having 8 pacies to never being able to find one WHEN WE NEED IT?

Every couple of days Mr F and I have to toss the joint in an anxious frenzy right before bedtime. We leave no stone unturned. Seriously. We might find a secret cache inside one of my stock pots... with the lid on... in the back of the cabinet. Heck.... I've even checked the toilet bowls.

Well last night we couldn't find A SINGLE ONE.

Not one!

We looked in every toy bin, under the sofas and under the cushions. We went through the car and all the little purses and baskets. We combed the grass, people.... the grass!

NADA.

And I don't care what you think about pacifiers. When you are waiting in line at the DMV over your lunch break and a woman comes in with her kids... one of them a toddler who has recently discovered how great it is to AMPLIFY their voice... you will change your mind. You will be wishing and praying that that woman has a purse full of pacies.

And so will she.

Not that I know anything about that or anything.

Regrets

So the thing is ...

I desperately want more children.

When I asked Mr F if he wanted another kid he said "I'd rather die". And I kind of think he meant it.

Some of you probably know that we can't have more children. Well I can have more children... Mr F ?... not so much.

That was an intentional decision made with forethought and deep consideration.

Because we knew the time would come that I would forget how bad it was.

"Did you ever donate sperm to a sperm bank?" I ask one night.

"No." Mr F says somewhat incredulously.

"Well... way to think ahead." I remark then add...

"I guess it's time for me to get a 2nd husband."

UPDATE:
I've almost convinced Mr F to adopt these three kids. Seriously. He's actually been talking about how we could finish our porch to make more bedrooms.

I Know... I Cringe At Myself Every Time I Do This

But PLEASE somebody talk to me about those Gosselins!

I said I was going to boycott them... but... then their season premiere came out and I NEEDED TO KNOW what they would say.

That episode did not disappoint.

And YES I felt kind of dirty watching it knowing that I was feeding right into all the publicity for ratings and whatnot. But since it was the highest rated show EVER I know you were watching too.

This Week The Plan

First things first... SLUG REPORT... things are getting better on this front. Several nights of slug harvesting really reduced the damage. Then I spent an afternoon collecting slug eggs (HUNDREDS) and removing them. Then I put out watermelon rinds to draw the slugs and pill bugs away from the plants and then applied the Iron Phosphate Slug killer (totally safe for everything but slugs). It also helped immeasurably that it stopped raining and we had two hot, dry, days to dry out those beds. My flowers are blooming again and only one plant seems to have been damaged beyond recovery.

Second... this is the first day of Kid's summer vacation. Wow that came quickly! I'm feeling both relieved, excited... and a bit overwhelmed. While in many ways we don't have to do anything I also feel like I should be taking advantage of all our extra time and should really be getting ahead of the game. Remember I have a newborn coming on August 24th (no not my own)!

On other fronts our fence is GREAT and has really made a difference in our outside time and enjoyment. It's also provided a good border to the neighborhood that has allowed us to utilize space that previously felt too close to the road. I moved our outdoor table set up to the front under the big maples... it makes me feel a little fancy. It would be even fancier if we couldn't see our garbage can... but I guess you can't have it all. Pictures to come.

THIS JUST IN: MY NEMESIS HAS INFILTRATED THE FENCE!!

Menu:

Sunday - bbq chicken pizza w/ herb salad

Monday - Pesto Pasta w/ Grilled chicken & zucchini

Tuesday - Honey & Orange glazed salmon, dill noodles, green beans

Wednesday - Tuna Pasta Salad

Thursday - Shrimp & Snap Peas w/ rice

Friday - Pizza & Salad

Saturday - out to dinner w/ friends

Sunday - my birthday and I'll be damned if I'm making dinner


Diet & Exercise:
Adding the pilates back in was key. I'm already seeing significant muscle definition. So I'm doing around a 30 min intense cardio workout most days followed by 15-30 minutes of pilates routines on my apparatus. Even when I'm really rushed I can do a shorter arms set, leg set & abs in about 10 minutes... I don't know why I waited 10 months to set it back up.
I'm also still food journaling. I have not been sticking exactly in my range and I'm not losing. I just kind of feel like it is more important for my energy and commitment to go toward the workouts right now and I really feel like I'm not in the mental place to be really hardcore committed on both fronts right now.


MORE TO COME.

When Pictures Lie

This certainly looks like a snap shot of some iconic childhood...


But that's because you can't hear the whining.

Because you can't see Kid's permanent scowl while *enjoying* the sprinkler which she demanded I set up.

These pictures were taken before they started fighting over the blue flowered beach towel.

Moments after this I could be heard yelling...

"Enough!!! You have two playhouses, a balance beam, bikes, a slide, a sprinkler, a sister... more than almost every other child in THE WORLD and you won't play with any of it!!!"

Which I guess does make it pretty iconic after all.



This is after this morning's conversation that went like this...

"I don't like when you correct me." Kid informed me.

"Yeah... well I don't like when you are rude." I rebutted.

Wartime Negotiations

You know those days when for no apparent reason you wake up in opposition to your spouse?

You go to bed friends and wake up mortal enemies.


It often sounds like this...

"Could you please stop being defensive I'm just trying to ask you a question." I say.

"I'm NOT being defensive." He replies defensively.

"That sounds pretty defensive to me..." I mutter.

Do You See What I See?

What I see is FREEDOM!!!




It took us a year to come up with the money to fence in our yard... and sure... it cost more than twice what Mr F's car cost. And yes we emptied out what little savings we had accumulated since selling his Volvo... but it is worth it. Because as I thought more and more about it if we didn't have a fence one of these hooligans was going to get hit by a car and we'd have to empty out our emergency fund for an ACTUAL emergency anyway.

There is no amount of money that can buy the peace I feel being able to let the dog out or the kids go out and play without having to hover over them. Did I ever tell you that twice, on two separate occasions since we've lived here, crazy people have DRIVEN UP OVER THE SIDEWALK AND DOWN OUR YARD in order to bypass a slight a back up in the road? Or that our property has both front and back access to roads? Or that Canine routinely chases neighborhood cats out of our yard and into the road. Or that Baby has no danger judgement and will just walk right out in the road? Or that there is a weird man who walks along the sidewalk ,super slowly, playing an unplugged electric guitar?

People I needed this. I needed to be able to go to the bathroom, answer the phone, stir dinner... without having a freaking heart attack.

I'm Going To Get You Sucker

Over the last several weeks Mr F & I have purchased a few flats of annuals and many gallon sized perennials for our front "beds". And when I say bed I really mean huge gapping hole in our hedgerow where our neighbor/former owner OBVIOUSLY pulled out a mature shrub and tried to transplant it in front of his new house. ( I know this because mere weeks after moving in I saw a dead shrub of same variety and size out at his curb... so thankfully he got what he deserved).

Anyway.

We hadn't noticed the hole when we looked at our house because he had planted a whole mass of morning glories to mound up and fill it in. That looked okay when they were in bloom... but it looked like HELL in the late fall and winter.

So this Spring we bit the bullet and spent what we could afford on some flowers and hostas and I went to town on that hole and then planted some in front of the hedgerow too to make it all look intentional.

Hot damn if I didn't do a good job too... even if I did have to use a kids' shovel as a trowel.

Oh hello Mr Slug... aren't you a friendly little critter.

Fast forward about a week...

Why are all the petunias in front of the shrubs eaten down to the quick? Everything else looks good. What is eating them? It must be something close to the ground... a chipmunk?

A couple weeks later I notice that ONE of three of the same type of perennial is practically dead. Why is it dying? The other two of the same variety are doing fine. What are all those holes in the leaves of everything? Caterpillars?... Oh cute I love butterflies.

The next week...

Jesus that plant is on it's last legs! What the hell is going on?

This week...

What the fuck?! Seriously! I think it's dead.

That's when I saw the slugs. And two and two finally came together in an instant when I suddenly remembered an episode of Victory Garden I had seen... oh... about 18 years ago (What?! We didn't have cable). They were making beer traps to kill the garden pests.

Holy shit. I've got garden pests.

I run inside and look it up online. Then crafted my traps and lay them out.

But I couldn't walk away. They were EVERYWHERE! How had I not noticed this before? Maybe because of the daily torrential rains that have kept me indoors... and made the garden a moist wonderland for those slimy little buggars.

So I plucked off all the slugs I could see and drown them on the spot.

Then I went in and served dinner.

"How can you not be infuriated about those damn slugs?! They are killing all the plants we just bought!" I ask Mr F emphatically.

"I will be when it's true." He replies.

"When it's true?!!! It's happening!" I counter.

I could hardly get through dinner.

Postponing my workout I made a salt solution and went back out. I picked off every single slug I could see saying "Die suckers!" as I drown them in my salt water. The slugs were out in full force and their damage and presence was far more extensive than I had first assessed.

Oh the rage! Oh the fury!

Those goddamn little bastards!!

What was I going to do?!

I went in to workout and blow off some steam.

Then having read that they are most active at night I headed out with my flashlight... OH MY GOD... the hundred or so I had already slaughtered was nothing compared to what I saw at night. It is lucky I only have one phobia because this is not a job for the faint at heart. The one nearly dead plant was COVERED in them. Literally covered. And huge slugs were all over the place.

Tomorrow I am off for Escar-Go! Those mother fuckers are going down!

This Week The Plan

I have not forsaken you weekly plan!

For those of you wondering about my "less internet = more life" experience... here's what I have to say... Whoa it is a hell of a lot easier to keep the house maintained when I'm not taking mini computer breaks all day! For real. It's craziness. Who knew I actually had to time to clean up the breakfast dishes in the morning?!

As of this week I am allowed 1 hour of computer time on weekdays and 15 minutes on the weekend. I have a little digital kitchen timer that I start and stop when I go on. So far I haven't ever even needed the full time allotment. It is amazing how much I can get done in less time online when I just sit down and focus on what I'm doing. I also no longer check my email first thing in the morning. Now I go about my morning (dishes and all) and don't start my day with the computer. I find this removes the temptation to just "check" something. We're also completely shutting down the computers when not in use so I can't hear the little *ding* of incoming mail (because WHO can ignore that sirens call?!).

Onto the week (some of which is in retrospect)

Menu:

Sunday - pasta w/ peas & ham & parm

Monday - Chicken, black bean & corn saute w/ seasoned rice & cilantro

Tuesday - Orange & Honey glazed salmon, green beans & dill buttered egg noodles

Wednesday - Tomato & Meatball Soup

Thursday - Supermom's B'day party

Friday - Kid's Kindergarten Graduation dinner out

Saturday - bbq chicken sandwiches & coleslaw


Diet & Exercise:
A funny thing happened... I went shopping and tried on some clothes. While I really haven't been losing like I think I should... I could acknowledge that I both looked thinner and fitter in the clothes I was trying on. So something is working.
I'm still food journalling and sticking to a calorie limit. I am also working out about 6 days a week. In addition to walking to get Kid (which will end this week). I have been doing slightly shorter BUT more intense treadmill workouts and following it up with 15-30 minutes of pilates. I think I'm headed in the right direction.


That's what I've got for this week!


Oh wait one more thing...
I think this is a moderate improvement. Although I really HATE looking at the back of the other drapes! My next plan (also free) is to paint stripes on them with the leftover room paint. Stay tuned.... I'm sure you're riveted.

Productivity

Here are a sampling of things that I did while NOT on the computer this weekend.

Yes I filled them.


I used some scrap fabric and had Kid draw pictures on them for her teachers. Then I sewed them up with trim to make cute little pillows (turn your head... sorry about that sideways upload!). Cute, from the heart... and FREE.




More random sewing projects...
Finally corralled all the "dog" bags.

And while these are CERTAINLY nothing to write home about... and yes they are hung unevenly.... and haven't been ironed... and according to Kid look like a painter's cloth (ouch! but she is right) They do cover the windows (which you may recall look out at the screened in porch and the back of the outdoor window treatments) and that is a good enough improvement for now. I am going to embellish them with something... sometime.

And yes that "scrap" fabric was about 79 yards long.

And that doesn't even count finally unpacking my room (and cleaning it!) and hanging pictures on the walls.

And cleaning the kitchen... and reorganizing it so that one stretch of counter is not the "shit catchall" but now the home to both the coffee maker and the toaster. I think that will help.

Where It's At

The Moment You've Been Waiting For

What on Earth am I talking about? What's our great life altering experiment?

Where to start... it's actually pretty involved. But on Saturday night I gave a pretty passionate speech (if you will... Mr F never actually talks during our discussions) about the parts of our life we are letting slip past.

Not intentionally. In a sad sort of irony a lot of what we ARE doing is trying to hold onto where we are... but in so doing we are no longer living IN the moment.

And we're missing out... on a lot.

And in the process we're living with a lot more stress.

Completely unnecessary stress I might add. Self imposed, self created, stress... and chaos... and anxiety caused both by the combination of the two.

Is it possible that one small change (or large depending on how you look at it) could change all of that?

I think it is.

And surprisingly Mr F agrees (hey... I'm an excellent speech writer).


I want to be more PRESENT with the kids.

I want Mr F to be more PRESENT in our marriage.

Being in each other's presence isn't the same.

And it isn't enough.

An Experiment Is Underway

It's a big deal and it is going to change our lives.

Will we be happier?

Stay tuned.